Detail Work

This week is a pivotal one in Shafferland. A "versary" of sorts, though I will refrain from commemorating it with chalkboards and parties. One year ago this week - Saturday if you like exact calendar dates - Ryan and I stepped foot in this home for the first time.

I was looking back at our moving scrapbook this week, because of course there is a whole scrapbook dedicated to this adventure, and the story still gives me great chills.

According to my record keeping, it was a year ago earlier this week when I had stumbled upon a house that had just come on the market and was so darling in every possible way. I called our agent immediately and scheduled a showing.

And then came January 22nd. A year ago this past Sunday. She called to say the darling-in-every-possible-way house was already off the market. Someone got there before we did and just straight up bought the thing. Per my scrapbook "I cried very bitterly for an entire day," and you know what? I remember that. I cried until I almost made myself sick. I had a raging headache for the whole next day, I could not be consoled - even with treats - and I was ready to call the whole house hunting thing off because I could not handle more disappointment like that.

Ryan and I talked about that day just this week. I told him as much as I love this house, I'm still a little mad that one was grabbed away from us before we could even look at it.

His wise response?

"Hey. It was the best thing. The details happened just as they were supposed to. God knew."

God knew indeed. God knew I needed a smart husband to keep me grounded when my creative writer brain gets away from me.

God knew I needed a day of grieving, too. I took it (clearly!!!) and the next day pulled out my laptop and started looking again. Ryan and I looked together and that's how we found this house. I was surprised he wanted to see it at all, because I thought a couple of things about it were deal-breakers for him, but he said he wanted to look, so I made the appointment and one year ago this Saturday, we pulled up in the driveway for the first time.

And as I wrote in the scrapbook, "I had looked at the interior pictures online, but I wasn't blown away by anything. But the moment I stepped on that porch, I inexplicably felt at home." (Now do you see why it's important to me that the porch is cute and cozy? It's where I first felt at home!

"We spent about a half hour walking through the house and found that it was in impeccable shape. The owners had lived there ever since it was first built. Even though it wasn't our dream floor plan, it was a darling, well-loved, well-constructed, well-maintained home. We could find no fault with it whatsoever."

We had another house lined up to see in a couple of days, but before we got there, that one sold too. Again. God knew.

This house was the only one we ever looked at. We made an offer five days after we walked through it, and we sat back to see how God would move.

The whole scrapbook is a beautifully woven testament to God's detail work. The buying of one house, the selling of another, the confirmation of prices offered and accepted...all of it was not a moment too early or late.

I know Ryan's right. As much as I would have loved to see that darling house I first fell in love with, God knew (for reasons I may never understand) that it was not our home. As bitterly disappointing as it was to never see it at all, I'm sure it was better than seeing it, loving it, and then walking away later. God was clear in the opening and closing of doors. This house? Wide open. All other houses? Firmly closed.

No questions. No room for doubt. Just a clear path up the sidewalk to our new home. (Which, by the way, I do love so so much.)

That season was a sweaty one for me. Trusting and waiting and watching nervously from the back row are not my most favorite things. But I sat and wrote down every single step in great detail as it happened. For me, that book is more than a fat scrapbook of moving fun. It's a chronicle of how God grew our faith, one detail at a time.

He's in the detail work. Even when the details seem harsh or unfair, He's in them, weaving future details we cannot even possibly fathom right now. 

The Shafferland Shuffle

Happy Easter!!! We are thankful for what this day represents - and for a day of REST!! Today you'll get some glimpses of our new house adventures. More posts to come on that this week!

* Last Sunday, we started dog sitting for the first time in our married life, which you already caught a peek of this week. Our friends brought over their Great Dane named Spencer, and we spent the day learning the ways of huge dogs!! He took us for a walk and tried to sit on our laps. LOL!!! We had a lot of fun with him that day and we were thankful for a pretty day that allowed us to spend some time outside with him!

* Monday was a HUGE day in Shafferland! We got official possession of our new house that day! We tried to juggle meeting the new house with having custody of Spencer, so it was sort of an interesting adventure, but we made memories!! That's for sure! We had the chance to do a photo shoot with our new house and write Scripture on the walls {much more on these stories to come}. But mostly we were just incredibly thankful for the day we'd so longed and prayed for to finally BE HERE.

* Tuesday was a big day at both Shaffer houses. We had the inspection on our original house and that's the day I got to meet our buyer, too. Really enjoyed getting to swap stories and learn more about what God had done on the OTHER side of the story! And at the new house, Ryan and his friend Troy had a good old fashioned demo day to knock out part of a wall. They channeled their inner Chip Gaines and had a grand time. {And made a grand MESS!}

* We broke out the paint cans on Wednesday! My friend Sandee came over and together, we tackled the master bedroom. While we didn't have to paint all the walls {some were okay as they were}, we did get the painting in that room finished in one day. I never could have done it without her help! And my friend Amber stopped by just to see the house and ended up helping me scrape wallpaper. {Ugh. Wallpaper. But YAY for good friends who will come for fun and stay to help!}

* Speaking of wallpaper, it was my utter nemesis on Thursday. I worked to finish scraping it off TWO rooms, and that was exhausting. I swear it was held on by super glue. Thankfully, Ryan helped me push through to the end without screaming!  I also painted a bathroom and shampooed some of the carpet. And when Ryan wasn't at work, he helped me touch up paint. {He's very good at that.}

* Friday morning, we were at Lowe's before it opened in the morning. What!?!?! Who is up that early? Well, we are, apparently. I spent the entire day painting my new office. I made a last minute switcharoo of color and now have a bright yellow office that makes me VERY happy. We put together our bed frame and started dreaming about where we're going to place all the furniture!

* By yesterday, we were understandably exhausted, and we look every bit of it in these pictures. Ryan had to work, so I went with him and caught up on all internet life on the wifi there. Then I went over to the house and resumed painting and replacing swichplates and cleaning up and all sorts of things. We were so tired by the time we finished the day around midnight, but so happy!

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday was, as you might remember, the start of EVIL Daylight Savings. We were so exhausted we went straight to bed after church and were complete bums the rest of the day. We worked on our podcast that night, and Ryan had to rig up this whole extension system for his mic, since we no longer have any tables to sit at!

 * Monday was kind of a big deal. You know, WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!! I know I already told you all about it, but that was the day we officially signed for our new house, and we cannot WAIT to get inside!

* Tuesday began rough for this girl. I blame Daylight Savings. I was so grumpy!!!! But I rallied to work on packing that day, because you know, WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! :) And I finished up in time to make chicken quesadillas for dinner! They were delish.

* Wednesday we had some really strong winds and rain, and when I went out to meet a friend for coffee, I found all the tree buds stuck firmly to my car. Signs of spring!! Coffee was good {and I was still grumpy so I needed extra} and I came home to resume packing while Braeya worked on her tan. HA!

* Thursday was St. Patrick's Day, and Ryan was quite festive at work. :) I did a special load of laundry so his green shirt would be clean and he wouldn't be pinched! :) My sister and I did a long distance Duggar watching party...which is the next best thing to watching TV together in person. And that night, Ryan and I went on a Starbucks date; ours just had an overhaul and they now have a fancy new mural!!!

 * Friday {shockingly} I worked on packing, and I also made a batch of clean eating cookies that I will not lie...are so good. We had friends come over for dinner - quite possibly our last hurrah at this house! Of course we no longer have a dining room table, and dinner was takeout Thai, but we sat on the floor and ate from the ottoman and had a great time together anyway. THAT'S what matters.

 * Yesterday was Ryan's first Saturday at home since December 21st, and it was GLORIOUS. I have missed him SO MUCH on the weekends and was so glad to have him all to myself for a whole day!! He helped me clean and pack, and we made a whole bunch of headway! We squeezed in a little shopping that afternoon and even caught up on some of our TV shows. YAY!

So. About That House...

This doesn't happen every week, but today the blog and the podcast go hand in hand. Hope you enjoy both!!

Click here to listen.

 So it's been a few days since I told you about this new adventure we were embarking upon, but we've had a pretty major development. Namely...this:

 WHAT?!?!?

Yes, it's true! This is officially official!

I know some of you are new here, so you missed the first part of this story, so if you want to go back and read, here is part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, and part eight.

And then...I left you in silence. We waited what felt like an eternity, but in truth, it really was very little time at all, for all the paperwork to go through. We were scared out of our ever-lovin' minds, because of the RIDICULOUS debacles we went through in selling Ryan's Greentown house after we got married. I'm thrilled to report that our experience this time was 100% opposite that mess and was actually quite pleasant in every single way. 

We found out the day Ryan left for his retreat that we were on board to close on the house in just over one week. And that day was yesterday.

In truth, I told Ryan {even up through yesterday morning} that I would believe it when I saw it. I'd been burned too much the last time. 

Ryan went to work and I followed about an hour later, picked him up, and we drove to the title company to sign 3904823949237498273849723948298347298374298374928374 papers. 

I was still suffering the after-effects of DST, so I looked pretty rough and felt even worse when we arrived, and we just sat and waited while the paperwork began in the other room!

We had our picture taken with our Realtor, Cathy, who was so sweet to document our day for us. {Unasked. Does she know me or WHAT?!?!!?!?!?!!}

{Bless her heart, she was so not feeling well, and she was SUCH a trooper the entire morning.} 

We signed and signed and signed and signed and signed {you get the idea...}

And then we were done!! And the house will be ours very soon. {I should say the KEYS will be ours very soon. The house is already ours.}

We are just so excited. This is a journey that two months ago, we had not even begun, and now we're HERE. What!?!?! How??? 

We're still praying over the sale of our home and trusting God with the timing of that, but for today, we pause to have a praise party for the new home that is now ours. What a joy!!!!

It's not our first home, but it's the first home we've picked out together, and we could not be more excited about that.

Gettin' This Party Started

I haven't forgotten Valentine's Day. I know a few of you said you wanted to hear more about our cooking class date {and we talked about it some on the podcast!} but I will bring you the full report with pictures on Monday!

Meanwhile, I wanted to show you one more thing about our current moving season! After we had the home inspection and knew that all was well regarding the structure of the home itself, I felt safe to go ahead and begin packing. Though we don't know when we will be moving, in all likelihood, it will be several weeks yet. I know it's not really necessary to begin packing, but I wanted to do a thorough job OF packing, and I wanted plenty of time to keep up with all my normal activities as well. Writing blogs every day, working out, keeping up with clean eating, prepping the podcast, being a wife...all those things take time, and I want to continue to excel at them in this meantime.

We had a stash of boxes already from the many times we've planned to move and haven't, so we had a head start on that. Ryan brought them in from the garage for me, and we got a bag of newspaper from my parents' house!

 We used a gift card we got for Valentine's Day to purchase our starter kit of packing supplies. Yes, I'm doing a whole color coding system, and I am so excited about it!!

Can we go back to the one who is NOT as excited about all this?

This face pretty much sums up her thoughts on NOT being consulted before this major decision. And I fear we will pay a dear price at her hand {paws?} throughout the entire adventure. But majority rules, and 2/3 of us are ready to go!!

We have been trying to work with her on this idea and let her sort of nose around at her own pace and get used to boxes and the ripping sound of packing tape and all that. It's a slow beginning.

The first couple of boxes I packed were cause for great celebration. Starting to feel real!!

And from there it went, packing a little bit each day, working to pack away the things we use the least first:

One thing we can say for finding old TV boxes - they were bulky but the boxes are good for packing! :)

We have also started researching the best plan for the actual moving DAY for Braeya Jo Jo. This girl is traumatized to the max by car rides. Her saturation point on moving vehicles is less than one mile. We are moving farther than one mile. And while it would be easy {and maybe even likely!} to just put her in Ryan's car for the ride, since she likes him better anyway, I truly don't want her to be scarred for life by a move. So we're exploring kitty meds and all that. But in the meantime, we thought we would reintroduce her to the carrier. So we casually left it by all the moving boxes.

At first, she wouldn't even look at it. Literally turned her stubborn little nose in the other direction. But eventually she got closer.

Meanwhile, I keep packing. Bookshelves are almost completely packed now.

And while she may want little to do with the carrier, she is enjoying the jungle gym of boxes!

So that's where we are in the land of packing and organizing! It is fun {I've never truly moved in my life...moving out of a bedroom and into a house after college does not count} and I am excited to fully embrace this adventure!

Home Inspection Day

A couple of days ago, I told you we signed a counter-offer on the darling house we found ourselves in love with, and we had to have an inspection done on the house before we could move forward with the next steps.

As most of you probably know, Ryan and I are both a little too OCD for our own good, and my part of it has manifested itself in the creation of a binder JUST for this adventure. My printer and three hole punch have become my best friend since we committed to this house, and preparing for inspection day brought both out in full force.

We had been told we were allowed {and encouraged} to be present for the inspection, and the homeowners would be gone. I made a thorough list of everything I wanted to take pictures of {because, hello!!! I took none on our first walk-through} and everything I wanted to measure. I knew that if everything worked out the way we hoped it would, and this house did become ours, this day would be my last chance to step foot inside before it became ours, so I was a future-homeowner-with-a-purpose.

The morning of the inspection, we woke up to snow and conditions that made the idea of travel somewhat {okay, entirely} terrifying for this girl. Ryan drove to work and told me he thought I could make it, but I should be careful. I sat in full-on sobs on the couch, visions of car accidents dancing in my head and trying to determine if getting to check off my list was worth the risk of driving over on questionable roads.

I decided to be a big girl and try, and with hands firmly gripping the wheel at 10 and 2, I set out for the new house. You guys, Indiana is so ridiculous when it comes to weather. I left home with 100% cloudy skies, snow, drifts blowing over the road, and all around nastiness. Halfway to Kokomo, the skies were 100% blue, not a flake of snow flew through the sky, the blowing went back to being invisible, and the day could be classified as splendid. IN TWENTY MINUTES!

I picked up Ryan at work, and we drove to the house. We knew the inspector should already be there and we were planning to be present just for the second half of the process. He met us at the door, let us inside, and nodded for Ryan to join him in the kitchen for their inspection chat. He nodded at me and said, "the homeowners are in there."

I looked "in there" and saw the two homeowners sitting on their couch looking wildly uncomfortable, as though they had been relegated to a time-out in their own home. I hugged my three ring binder to myself and swallowed initial feelings of disappointment in knowing I could not very well flit about the house taking pictures and measuring to check off all my items with them sitting right there.

Instead, I walked over with my hand extended, introduced myself, and decided to make friends.

And that's how it happened that for the next hour, I sat on the loveseat, opposite them on the couch, pausing now and then to pet the dog when she ran by, learning all the things they loved about the house and sharing our own dreams with them.

I won't relay the entire conversation with you, but I will tell you my favorite part:

The wife said to me, "We were so discouraged about this house selling. People came through and didn't like this or didn't like that, and we wondered if it was ever going to sell or if we were just going to miss out on the house we wanted. We wrote it down and put it in the prayer basket at church, and right after that, you made your offer."

I cannot tell you what a joy fell over my soul at the realization that we have the incredible privilege of being someone's answer to prayer. I mean seriously - have you ever thought about that before? When I think about our own house and how we're praying for someone to buy it, I think about how profoundly thankful we will be for that person. How we will always think of them as our answer to prayer. And even before we get that opportunity, we have the even greater opportunity to BE someone's answer to prayer.

That is a beautiful feeling.

Ryan got done talking with the inspectors and joined me while these homeowners shared their love for this house, the details of all they had done, and the excitement for their own home-to-come.

We left a little over an hour after we arrived, and not one thing in my three-ring-binder had been checked off. Although they willingly offered us freedom to walk through and do whatever we needed, I took exactly one picture {of a bathroom, no less} and measured two things, I think. But what I gained in exchange was so much greater.

A home is a personal place, isn't it? Not just a house, but a home. This couple has lovingly cared for and invested in this home for the last fourteen years. And their hard work showed. The inspectors found nothing alarming, and furthermore, they told Ryan they were impressed with how well it had been maintained.

We loved that about these owners. They had cared for their home with love and integrity because it was more than just a house to them, and their choice would turn around to bless us. It's the same way we have cared for our own house and hope to bless someone else with that choice we made. It was a pleasure to be on the receiving end of such a gift.

When we left the house that day, we left with joy, because again, this whole thing was about so much more than just buying a fun new house. It was about carrying on a legacy begun by someone else, long before we were in the picture.

It was about being an answer to prayer, which feels even better than receiving an answer to prayer.

Like I said. This journey has roots that extend far beyond buying a house.

This Faith Stuff

I think the hardest thing about this house selling/house buying journey we're on is the truth I realized early on: this entire adventure doesn't have nearly as much to do with buying and selling houses as it does with testing, establishing, and growing our faith.

That ever happen in your life? Something that takes place is really just a vehicle used by God to accomplish a much deeper purpose? A much more eternal purpose?

That has been this adventure. I actually am not sure I can explain to you all that has transpired APART from the fun and the stress and the paperwork part of this season of our lives.

But I can tell you this: God has been on the move. He has been speaking, unmistakably, even if the words we hear don't include any version of "Here's a step-by-step timeline of what's next for you." Some examples of what we HAVE heard through words we've read include:

"God knows what's next for you. He is already preparing your heart and mind. He is clearing the path. He will show you the way." - Liz Curtis Higgs

"Sometimes when we get overwhelmed, we forget how big God is." - A.W. Tozer

"The giant in front of you is never bigger than the God who lives in you." - Christine Caine

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock."  - Isaiah 26:3-4

There are many more, but that's just a sampling of the things chronicled in the journal to carry us through this part of the journey.

I wanted to share this one with you too - just because it gave me goose bumps! Ryan had called his mom to share with her about all our news, and as they talked on the phone, she glanced across the room and noticed her little "faith" picture sitting nearby. She grabbed her camera to take a picture, and when she looked at the picture on the computer later, she noticed the shadow of the cross on it.

THIS.

 These are the things that have sustained us in the waiting.

And you know what else? We have grown together, unifying in our faith and trust in incredible ways over the past couple of weeks. Who would have known that this would be such a bonding agent? It's not the first hard season we've gone through, but there's something about it that has created growth like we've never seen.

There's also a peace we can't explain. Even though there is so much that is absolutely unknown for us {our own real life "to-be-continued"} - there is this crazy peace that has settled over us. An excitement to see HOW God plans to resolve this. A peace that an answer is out there, even though we can't see it. A comfort that our faith really has grown, because I can remember a time not all that long ago when this very thing would have utterly undone me. Undone both of us, actually.

We are excited. Excited for something good and fun and joyous to come. Excited to see how God answers the deep need of our house to sell and the deeper need of our heart to trust Him to work a miracle.

Sure, there are moments of panic. Fortunately they tend not to hit us both at once, so we yoke up together and carry one another along in the moments of doubt until we've both found sure footing again.

Sure, there are moments of jealousy when we read about friends who are in a similar situation but have had no hiccups in selling their homes. That's hard to read about. But in those moments, we try to rejoice with them in their blessing, and in so doing, turn our hurt into praise for what God has yet to do for us.

And tomorrow, I am going to tell you the story of home inspection day. Another day when God showed up.

Awakenings

I thought about telling you about Valentine's Day, but it just seemed mean to leave you hanging on the house adventure story, so we'll save Valentine's Day for another day. Besides, I think about 90% of you who are regular readers are just a hair short of chucking a heavy object at me, and I don't want to make you any more angry than you already are!!!

If you are behind on blogs and have no idea what I'm talking about, you'll want to go back and read the posts from last week that chronicle the beginning of this story. Part one, part two, and part three can be read by clicking on each link.

So when I left you last Friday, we were waiting to see a second house, similar to the one we toured a few days before, so we could decide which one we liked better. It actually turned out to be such a perfect timing thing, because our appointment to see house #2 fell on our 38th monthiversary. I could think of nothing more romantic than spending extra time together that day, strolling through our potential future home. Ryan had driven by the house a couple of times in the interim and reported that it looked wonderful from the outside, and we'd looked at houses in that neighborhood before, so we knew we liked that much, at least.

The day before our monthiversary, Cathy emailed. "You're not going to believe this," she said, "but that house we're supposed to see tomorrow sold today."

Actually, I can totally believe that. This is us, remember? Good luck charm for houses everywhere? I stared at her words on the screen and had two thoughts. 1. Why do these sellers get ALL THE LUCK? 2. I'm not mad that the house sold. Not even a little bit.

I texted Ryan, who was at work. "The second house sold, and I'm not even mad. Are you?"

He answered immediately. "No. I'm not. I want the house we saw."

We knew in that very instant that the one we'd been through was home. There was no need to see another house because we were already in love. We knew it was ludicrous in the eyes of many to not look at a thousand houses before picking one, but this tends to be the way life works for us. We got married quickly because we just knew. I picked out my wedding dress in ten minutes because I just knew. When we know, we know. And we knew.

Unfortunately knowing we love a house and getting said house are not necessarily a natural pairing. We knew the house we loved had just had an open house before we toured it. What if someone else was living our same story, but they got there first? What if the house already had an offer and we didn't know? {We've learned that despite realtor.com's tag line of being updated in real time every fifteen minutes, a house might be pending or sold and still be sitting there looking all up for grabs online.}

So even that day - February 1 - Ryan and I paced and prayed from our respective locations. I stewed and wondered if the people living in that house even remotely thought we might be interested.

And that's when it happened.

As I paced and stewed, I got a text from Cathy. Remember how I told you the only item of discussion when we toured the house was whether or not our table would fit in the kitchen? And how I insisted I could make it work in the great room? Well apparently in her remarks back to the listing agent, Cathy had relayed some or all of that conversation, because the homeowners proceeded to put all the leaves in their kitchen table, gathered up all the chairs and put them around the table, and sent a photo to their Realtor to show how a bigger table would, in fact, fit in the kitchen. She sent it to Cathy, who forwarded it to me.

This may not be a big deal to you, but it made me cry. I cried for-real tears, because it showed me that these people were kind and invested in the sale of their home. The same sort of kind and invested that Ryan and I would be in the sale of our own home. This would be the very kind of thing Ryan would do for someone potentially interested in our place.

Remember how I said I scratched a home from our list because the seller was being picky about how clean it was when we wanted to see it? I didn't want to enter a legal contract with her because if she was that picky over a showing, I couldn't imagine doing business with her? Well the same was true {in the most opposite way} of this text. If these people were willing to go the extra mile over a kitchen table, they were exactly the kind of people we wanted to do business with. How fortunate for us that they lived in this house. It gave us a lot of hope about the kind of people they are and the kind of care and investment they'd put toward the house and toward us, we hoped.

And so it was that on our 38th monthivesary, we both declared we were in love with that darling little house we'd walked through just five days earlier. In the span of five days, we'd gone from casually walking through to being down on our knees, clutching that kitchen table photograph, asking God if this was the way we should go. And hoping beyond hope He would say yes.

To be continued...

{And before you send me hate mail, let me just remind you that we hate "to be continued" as much as you do, but this is actually HOW the story is going in our real time!! Welcome to our life!!} 

Next Steps

When Ryan read yesterday's post, and he saw that it ended with "to be continued," he said to me "Well that's mean. You're going to make them wait all weekend for more?"

I said, "Well, not really since I can write more on Friday." And that is how I burst his bubble that it was not already Friday. That is always disappointing, isn't it? When you think you're closer to the weekend than  you are?

So here I am, back to tell you a bit more of our house adventures. As you read yesterday, we fell in love with a house, which sold out from underneath us, but the good news in all of it was that we realized we were both ready to move right now {or as close to "right now" as God would allow} and we had settled on a location - anywhere closer to Ryan's work.

Even though we found nothing immediately online that zinged us, particularly, Ryan did some in-person driving around town in neighborhoods he liked to look at some houses. He came home early in the last week of January and said there was a house that intrigued him enough that he thought it was worth an in-person look. I asked for the address so I could mentally conjure up the square footage, floor plan, and other details I was sure I'd memorized from the online listing. Because as I said yesterday, if it's online, I'd read it, and I'd probably memorized it.

When I refreshed my memory on this particular house, I was quite surprised he wanted to see it. There were a handful of things about it that had made me strike it from the list for him, because I knew he wouldn't love it. And while I hadn't hated it online, it hadn't really zinged me. But if he was willing to go see it, we would go. And since the agent and I would be traveling all the way over to look, it seemed only right and good to pick out another house to see to make the trip worth it. So I picked one out that was at the top of my own list, and we made plans to see them both on January 28th.

I was actually fairly certain the one Ryan wanted to see would be sold already, because the owners had just had an open house a few days before. The house had been on the market for a long time and it seemed about right {for us} that we would finally discover it and it would sell - to someone else. Right?

So when Cathy {my real estate buddy} called me, I figured she would say the house Ryan wanted to see was sold. Surprisingly, she did not say that, and in fact, she said it was MY pick we couldn't go see. Not because it had sold, but because the owner said she couldn't get it cleaned to her specifications in the time left {which was over a day}. I told Cathy to just go ahead and strike it from the list. If the owners were going to be that picky about a showing, I had no desire to enter into legal, binding contracts with them. And that was the end of that house for us.

January 28th was a lovely day, and right before Cathy and I left for Kokomo, I found a house online that was almost identical to the one we were about to see, but it was in a little different neighborhood and had some features I thought Ryan would really like that the one we were about to see did not have. It had just come up for sale that day, so it was too late for us to schedule a showing on such short notice, but when I got in Cathy's car, I told her I knew we needed to see it as soon as we could. And off we went.

When I went house hunting in Fort Wayne, years ago, I took pictures of every house, every room, every everything. I documented every single move.

This house, I decided, was a just-for-fun look. I knew Ryan would see in person what I saw online, and he would not want it. So I would not fall in love with it. I would not bother to take pictures. I would stroll through, enjoy, and make the most of a mid-day date with my husband.

We pulled up in front of the house, walked up to the door, and when I stepped on the porch, my armor cracked.

Because, you guys, that porch. I wanted to sit right down and have a cup of coffee and enjoy the view. Never mind that it was January 28th and cold outside. The house had me at the porch.

I never did take a picture that day. But I wandered through every room of that house multiple times, closed my eyes, and those walls felt like home.

I looked for things to hate. Couldn't find 'em. I found a few things to put my touch on, but nothing to hate. Even the things that my paper list said I should hate...I didn't hate.

You know how some houses smell funny? Not like they smell bad, but they just smell like, well, whoever lives there. Houses have the distinct aroma of the people who live there. This house smelled like home. The owners had a dog: we saw her, and that's the only reason we knew she lived there, because we sure didn't smell her!

You know how some houses just feel awkward? This one felt like our home that someone had been taking care of for us.

I looked for dings in the paint on the wall and found none. Ryan peeked at all the technical stuff looking for shoddy workmanship and found none.

The only thing we spent time debating was where to put our massive dining room table. The kitchen in this house had a small table in it, and we weren't sure we could fit ours in that room. I paced around the big living room, insistent that I could make it work as a living/dining space.

And you guys? The house had a pirogi.

We left that day without a single picture on our camera, but wildly confused in spirit. This was not supposed to be a house we loved. This was supposed to just be a fun visit. Our warm-up to house hunting.


I told Ryan we would know better how we felt about it after we saw the other house. And I was sure he'd like the other house better. The problem was, I wasn't sure I'd like the other house better. Not anymore.

To be continued....

The Beginning

So I sat here trying to think of something to blog about, and I decided to just go ahead and tell you the beginning of the we're-moving-unless-something-really-weird-goes-wrong story, because it's pretty much all we've got right now in the line of Shafferland stories. {And yet, what a big one!}

I should begin this way:

Hi, my name is Bekah and I have a realtor.com addiction.

It's true. For the last five years, if there has been a house for sale pretty much anywhere in the continental United States of America, I've read the listing and possibly memorized random, useless facts, such as the year it was built and whether it's on a public or private water source.

I'm not kidding. I just liked to know  my options. You know...in case our house sold.

In that time frame, I learned one thing: if I loved a house more than life itself, it was guaranteed to sell in a week flat. And not to me. This is actually a proven fact. I cannot tell you how many houses I loved until it hurt and they just up and sold. It was kind of like my single years all over again. Find a cute man? He'd find a wife in a week. No joke.

Actually I guess I learned two things, because it also became pretty obvious that Ryan and I could never agree on a house. I would just be slobbering over one, and I'd hesitantly push the laptop his way for him to see, and before he'd even gotten to the INSIDE pictures, he'd found bushes and trees to rip out, a piece of peeling paint tucked under a window, and all manner of things I overlooked in the cuteness that swallowed me whole.

It's why we're a team. Otherwise I'd be living in some adorable shack that was about to fall over. But it would be cute as it fell! Let the record show!!!!

We went through seasons where both of us would spend our evenings perusing houses in various towns. We looked in our own town. We looked in lake towns. We looked in ocean towns. We looked in his work's town. You would think in one of those towns, we could agree on a house, wouldn't you?

Nope.

And so it was, not quite a month ago, I was feeding my addiction and I found the cutest house ever on the planet that had just come on the market. I showed it to Ryan and squinted while he scrolled, trying to avoid the forthcoming eyerolls and de-landscaping plans.

And he said, "I love it."

I'm sorry: what?

I wasted no time calling my real estate friend and asking her if she could get us a showing in that darling house. She set one up and I sat forever in front of each online picture, placing our furniture in the rooms.

The Friday before we were supposed to see the house, she called. It sold. In four days flat, the cutest house on the planet sold right out from underneath us, and we hadn't even gotten to see it for ourselves.

I immediately canceled all my plans for the day, curled up in the fat chair, and sobbed for the entire day. I didn't care. I didn't apologize. I was heartbroken and I intended to grieve it out. And I did.

By Saturday, Ryan and I took deep breaths and clicked back onto the realtor.com app to look for something else. We found nothing, but I felt we'd taken a big step by getting ourselves back out there. {When did life start to look like my dating years again??} And if nothing else, we'd learned that the truth was we really were both ready to move at the same time. And we had our sights set on the same town. That was new. And it felt good.

To be continued...

On My Own

Thanks so much for being willing to read along this past week on my house adventures. It's been fun to tell this story! Just a couple more days and you'll be all caught up! :)

I rented Grandma and Grandpa's house from my sister for four years. I had a roommate for the first nine months...and then she moved out. I was on my own for three terrifying months...the first time I had ever TRULY lived on my own in my natural lifetime.

My friend Christi bought me a kitten and named him Kaegan, and while I knew in my head that he was 100% ineffective against anyone coming into the house to harm me, his tiny furry presence was calming to me. I loved that little guy, and in the quiet days and long nights {full of light, because I refused to turn them off when I went to sleep} he kept me company.

A new roommate moved in then...I'd met her in college and she came back to Marion to attend graduate school. She stayed with me for three years, teaching me all manner of things I needed to know. We had a lot of laughter in this house...and our share of conflict, too. She was training to be a counselor, and I was a perfect test case for her.

In those three years, we lived a lot of life in that house. Movie nights...experimental cooking {and subsequent MASSIVE failures}...trying to mesh the decorating styles of a foo-foo girlie girl and a Harley-riding tomboy...celebrating holidays...welcoming friends...and much more. 

When she graduated, she told me she needed to move out on her own and start her own life...and I knew she was right. We were still friends, but neither of us really did well sharing a home with another girl. We wanted things our own way...and our ways were mightily different.

I was eager for a seasonal change in life, but petrified about what would come next. I'd never lived on my own, and for the first time, the thought of actually living on my own wasn't as scary as paying for it. Admittedly not stellar with math, I stared at my budget sheet and wondered if I could swing not only a mortgage payment, but also the full weight of all the utilities and other bills. It didn't make sense in my head...but then not much about math did make sense in my head.

In addition to all these thoughts, my sister told me that she needed a change in her life - one that freed her from the role of owning a rental. She would be happy to sell the house to me if I wanted to buy it...or she would put it on the market and I could buy or rent something else.

So, one evening, while Angela was gone, I strolled around the springtime backyard, inhaling the scent of lilacs and new grass...and I prayed. I was terrified of making the wrong decision...buying a house I couldn't afford OR losing a house our family had worked so hard to get back.

Not many times in my life have I heard the unmistakable Voice of God giving me direction, but that spring night was one time I did. Right out there in the yard, with no fanfare or fireworks, my heart knew. I was to stay. I was to buy the house. I was to buy it - AND not worry about the money, even if I didn't have a roommate.

This news filled me with peace...and yet was heavily bittersweet. I'd never contemplated buying a house without a husband by my side. It wasn't that I thought such a thing was wrong, but in my mind it somehow felt like admitting defeat.  Conceding that a husband might never show up. Plowing ahead into a dream that felt like something I should share with him...but he wasn't there.

I jumped in...without really knowing how to swim. I talked to banks and lenders...appraisers and contractors...my parents and sisters...my co-workers. They showered me with advice, some of which conflicted and some of which was miles over my head. I begged God NOT to let me do anything ridiculously stupid that would penalize me financially for the rest of my days, and with shaking hand...signed paper...after paper...after paper.

The house was mine. Angela was still living there when I signed for it and she celebrated my happy-home-ownership-to-you day with me by breaking open sparkling grape juice and toasting my new adventure.

And then she packed boxes and moved out, leaving Kaegan and me with an entire house for just the two of us. A house that seemed empty - not just of laughter and conversation, but also furniture. We spread out what we did have and named it home.

I quickly learned that while I'd insisted that the house be Grandma and Grandpa's for all the years I rented it, the dry ink bearing my name on the house now brought a new stirring to my heart. It had been theirs...but it was mine now, and I needed people to recognize that. I needed to recognize that.

I'm the much-baby of our family and without a husband or child to declare me a grown-up, I hoped the title of home owner would do the trick. Life didn't look the way I planned, but I needed someone - everyone - to see that I was a capable adult. And in many ways, I needed to see a capable adult emerging in myself.

So I bought a house.

A house with a sure foundation...and one I could build on.