School's Out for the Summer!

Last August, I told you about my new little side job of helping a friend getting her kiddo to school every morning. She and I set up that whole adventure on our own, and I'd never even met her son before my first day on the job. It felt a little creepy to drive up to their front door and pick him up when he had no idea who I was or anything about me.

And as I told you back in August, I had no idea what to talk about when he was in the car. At the start of the year, he was pretty into Pokemon (along with the rest of the adult and child universe) but that fizzled out fairly quickly. And so we returned to driving in silence, because he's not a morning person and I'm not nine.

Over the last week, I've been watching a lot of my friends post first-day-of-school and last-day-of-school comparison pictures of their kids, and it's been fun to see how much they've grown in a year's time. And though I have no comparison pictures to show you, I can see how we both grew as this year went by. Not in stature, but in learning to relate.

I stopped stressing out about finding topics and just waited for topics to show up on their own. Sometimes we really did drive in silence. But as the year went on, we tentatively talked about things, and the conversation on his end began to be longer than one word answers!

Our city is apparently playing a game of "how many streets can we simultaneously close" right now, so nearly every day, we had to take a detour of some sort. It became a game for the two of us: how far into our drive can we get before we have to find a new route?

We also watched some building projects and demolition projects (both great sources of conversation for boys), and learned a few lessons along the way (don't drive through flooded streets, the meaning of a BLT sandwich, and more).

By the end of our final day, talk was more than a good morning and goodbye. We talked about the future, as near as summer plans and as far as college plans. We wished for two hour delays (which we almost never got) and counted down to the end of the school. Cracked me up that when he got in the car each morning, he had already crossed that day off the countdown, even though he hadn't even arrived at school.

I learned about fidget spinners, dojos, Fun Fridays, the ridiculousness of long spelling words, and the unfairness of being grounded from an iPad.

But the best moment came on the last day. He crawled in the car, and while I fully expected him to shout about the last day, he was mostly just upset about his new haircut. It looked fine to me, so I waited while he explained why it was so awful. When he finished his story, I said, "Well, that does stink, but the good news is, hair grows. Unless you're Ryan. And then you're in trouble." He laughed right out loud over that line, and that was my end of the year school award. I made him laugh!

Transporting anyone to school was never on my list of things I thought I would do, and there were some days it was hard to juggle it into the busyness of the day. There were winter days when I panicked to Ryan about getting there and back safely. But I have to say, I think it was a good growing experience, and I'm glad I did it.

But for now, can I just celebrate? Because SCHOOL'S OUT FOR THE SUMMER, BABY!!!

Linking up with Tamar!

The Saturday Six

One.

Listen here.

This week, I had the privilege of interviewing Jackie Drew, who is a small-business owner, along with her husband, Rick. They own Rad-Joy, where they make Surrender crosses: wooden crosses that provide a way for you to write down your burdens and concerns and nail them to cross in an act of surrender to the Lord. I went into the interview eager to learn more about their business, and I did learn that, but I walked away encouraged tremendously in my faith after hearing Rick and Jackie's personal faith journey. This particular Conversation Cafe is a bit longer than the rest, but Jackie is a great communicator, and I think you'll find her story well worth your time! (And then check out the crosses because they are unique and beautiful!)

Two.

 Back when I was single, I shopped at Aldi regularly, because it helped the old budget. After Ryan and I got married, we gave up shopping at Aldi because our double-commuter schedule put grocery shopping in a very late-night slot, and Aldi was always closed when we went. This year, we've returned to shopping at Aldi and are enjoying getting good deals {and some really good food!} there. Mandi at Life Your Way did a post this week on how shopping for her growing family was putting a strain on the budget and she details what she can get at Aldi for under $300 for 2 weeks {for eight people}! If you've never shopped at Aldi and want to see what the fuss is about, check out her post! The picture of her purchases is impressive!

Three.

 I told you in my "Day in the Life" post last week that a friend of mine had called to interview me for a class project. She finished her article and shared it with me, so I'm going to share it with you! I offer it not because it's about me, but just because I am so proud of Amy for her journalism skills and for being bold enough to share her work (she doesn't do that often) and I wanted to pass along the love!

Four.

 Is bravery as hard for you as it is for me? {Spoiler alert: I'm pretty terrible at it.} My friend Hether wrote this beautiful post on being brave. Maybe you need to hear it like I did.

Five.

Ahhhh, children of the 90's. Here's a trip down memory lane for you. Own any of these shoes? A special shout-out from me to number seventeen!!

Six.

Every now and then, I read an author's debut novel, and I never know what to expect going in. They're often good, but this week, I have to say my experience with a debut novel was exceptional. Ann Marie Stewart's novel Stars in the Grass was so well-written that I consistently forgot I was not reading a memoir. She was that in tune with her main character. Fantastic work.  

The story is told in first person from the perspective of nine-year-old Abby McAndrews, the middle child of a preacher and his wife. They're living a common life in 1970 in Ohio, shepherding a common Presbyterian church, and taking a break for a common vacation to visit family. And that's when the unthinkable happens: Abby's little brother Joel, just three years old, dies in an uncommon, freak accident.

And that's where the common ends and the uncommon, confusing, unpredictable trail of grief begins for the McAndrews family. Four remaining members and four very different ways of processing the deepest kind of loss. Not only that, but grief was handled very differently in the 70's than it is today. Emotions weren't spoken out loud quite as freely. Counseling wasn't as heartily recommended. So the days go by, where Abby works to process her own feelings, guilt, curiosity, and confusion, while watching her family do the same. She's wise and intuitive beyond her years, and yet her little-girl heart is so innocent and tender.

I would easily say that the characters in this book were the most well-developed of probably any book I have ever read. I knew them better than I know some of my own real-life friends and family, by the time I closed the book. The book itself is both captivating and heart-wrenching. It's not a light read by a long shot. The suffocating grief is hard to read, and yet you can't stop, because you're cheering for this family and you want to see them make it to a new normal.

Ann's description of the 70's is well-written. Enough detail to remind you how different things are today, but blended enough that it doesn't scream of another era and distract from the story line.

The only disappointment I had in the book was that it did contain one swear word. (I'm a stickler about clean language in books I read and won't read books that don't meet that standard. It's just a personal preference.) Having said that, I will add that the word was understandably placed, as part of a grief-stricken rant, and I do realize that even in choosing that word, she was making the point of  debilitating grief . It just caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting it from a Christian-marketed book.

But that does not keep me from loving this book and being astounded at the craftsmanship of Ann's writing. This was one of those books that made me want to be a better writer and story-teller. I appreciated it and will add it to my permanent library.

And as a side note, I will add that if you have experienced a deep loss that still marks you, even if it was years ago, this book might be a perfect pick for you. It will be hard to read and will stir up much emotion, I have a feeling, but I think you'll find a camaraderie, even in the friendship of a nine-year-old girl from the 70's.

*  This book officially releases on February 1, so you still have a couple more days before it hits shelves, but when it does, check it out! I received a complimentary copy from Barbour Publishing and was not required to give a favorable review. All opinions are my own! *

The Saturday Six

One.

Source

Found a great new capsule-y post for the fall season! I found Audrey on Pinterest and have enjoyed reading her posts about making great clothing choices. I like her mix and match options on this post!

Two.

Source

Last week, I sent a group of test readers a manuscript I'd written...a "book baby" to read. Scared me out of my mind. I think I screamed every time I hit send. So oh yes, I completely understand the utter emotion Jill-Lynn Buteyn describes in this post. {By the way - if you haven't yet seen her book baby Just Show Up, you're missing a powerful and helpful book.}

Three.

Source

You know what? Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all. Whether it is true or not, this just made me giggle.

Four.

 Source

I have not experienced the loss of a child, but I have experienced deep loss. And I think this article holds good reminders heading into Thanksgiving and Christmas. The coexistence of blessings and bereavement is delicate.

Five.

Source

Speaking of holidays...if you're looking for some healthy {yet still tasty!} recipes for Thanksgiving this week, check out this recipe roundup by one of my favorites, Katie Farrell from Dashing Dish. Delicious looking dishes, I promise!

Six.

Source

Earlier this year, I read Marie Monville's memoir, One Light Still Shines, and I've mentioned it here several times on the blog. Marie's husband, Charlie, was the shooter  at the Amish Schoolhouse in Pennsylvania back in 2006. Marie's book was an unforgettable read, so when I saw a few weeks ago that Charlie's mom, Terri Roberts, also just released a book related to the event, I hoped I would be fortunate enough to get a copy to review. And I was!

Terri's book is called Forgiven, and it's quite a bit different in voice and in story, even, from Marie's book. That surprised me, because I figured when two people told the same sort of story, the details would be remarkably similar. While the story is certainly recognizable between the two, the similarities end there. Marie's book was much more about the event itself, her inner processing as a widow and how she moved forward with her life, mothering the children she and Charlie shared, and then even her redemption love story with her now-husband, Dan Monville. {POWERFUL.}

Terri's book, Forgiven, is unmistakably the story of a grieving mother who still lives without knowledge of why her son would choose such an unspeakable act. In this book, we learn more of Charlie's background, his upbringing, his joys and sorrows while he lived at home with his parents. And while she touches on "The Happening" {the name the Amish have given to the shooting}, she doesn't spend as much time recounting that particular day and week, but she moves on to how her life has changed because of The Happening.

She gives a voice to many of the Amish families affected in the shooting and shares about her interactions with them after The Happening. Her relationship with these families has actually grown to a deep level. She sees them often. She visits them. She helps them. She, in many ways, sees them as an extension of her family now. Her writing lets us see right inside the homes of these forever-changed families and lets us see forgiveness and grace in action.

Terri also brings up a really important point throughout the book, as she shows how storms she weathered earlier in her life {miscarriage, cancer, etc.} began to shape her faith in ways that came back to strengthen her in this storm of all storms. I think it's so important for believers to recognize how each piece of the journey fits into the large puzzle of life, and Terri pulls that practice into the spotlight in that book.

While she is not a counselor, she shares so many pieces of wisdom that could be helpful and insightful for anyone struggling through the loss of a child, especially one that was unexpected and surrounded by unanswered questions. She speaks as a mom...a grieving mom, a faith-filled mom, a searching mom, a hopeful mom.

I appreciated her vulnerability, her truth, and her heart within these pages. Though I know this story is never one she would have chosen to bear, she carries the weight of it in ways that point to the Lord and His grace, as shown through the compassion and love of the Amish community.

* Thanks, Bethany House, for making a way for Terri to share her viewpoint in this piece of history, and for sending a copy my way for review. *

Braving the Service Project

Last year {you probably don't remember...and it's okay} Ryan and I served at the Grant County Mobile Pack for Feed My Starving Children. You can read more about that day and what the organization does...here.

This year, the mobile pack came back to our area and one of the guys in our Sunday School class was instrumental in bringing it back, so of course our class planned to serve again. Ryan was SO excited, because he loves stuff like this. So I signed us up early on, and we made plans to work the project that day.

And then.

Ryan has to take classes at random to get continuing education credits for his degree. It's rare that he can find a class to fit the requirement that is also free. And sometimes the classes can get pretty pricey, actually. So it just so happened that a class became available the same day as the mobile pack.

It was a no brainer. He had to go. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to get credits for free. I  knew it. But the thought of going to that mobile pack by myself took me back to dark places of junior high that I had no desire to revisit. I thought about backing out, but then I got guilt gut over it. I knew they counted on their volunteers, and our family had already backed out one of them, so I couldn't find it within me to back out citing reasons of being scared. {And apparently I found the one thing that countered last year's declaration that I would "happily serve again. HAPPILY."}

So the morning of the mobile pack, I removed all my jewelry except my wedding ring, which if you read last year's post, you'll remember was quite the debacle then. I pinned back my hair so it would fit better in my stylin' hairnet, and I drove to the church to pack.

Several of our Sunday School friends were already there when I arrived, and our friends Nate and Jenna so graciously adopted me and let me sit with them {seriously - it was junior high!} so I didn't feel like such a dork. Although seriously. I think the hairnets level the playing field on the junior high thing.

We sat through the intro, where they gave us all the instructions for the day...

And then we headed in to get to work.

I was not even worried at that moment, because I'd been told that our class had all been assigned a table together, so I knew I would have friends, and life would be merry.

Or so I thought.

Apparently there were two tables assigned to our class {because it's big anyway, and people could bring their kids to help, so with kids added, there were just a LOT of us}. Each table has two packing stations on it. Well evidently our class filled one full table, but only had enough other people to fill half the second table {one full packing station}. Since I was the only person there without family, I was moved to the other side {which I named the island of misfit toys} with other potluck people from other over-filled tables.

Cue the panic.

For the first hour, none of them really spoke to me, and by the end of that hour, my knees were sore from being locked, my back was sore from bending over to seal the bags, my left hand was dripping sweat inside its glove {required since I refuse to take off my wedding ring} and I was wishing I would have worn my swimsuit, because it got pretty warm in there. So I sort of forced the poor lady working next to me to have a meaningful conversation with me to get my mind off the heat and the sore back!

And I took a selfie for Ryan:

I've decided to incorporate the hairnet into my everyday life.

At the end of our shift, we had a group picture taken:

The stats for the entire weekend {not just our shift} said that over two days, 800 volunteers came together, 172,800 meals were packed to feed 471 starving children for a year.

So it was worth it to brave the junior high fears to help the kids! {But please dear class scheduling people, let me have Ryan next year!!!}

Braver Than I Look {apparently}

This has NOTHING to do with today's topic, but I must start by wishing my parents a very happy 61st wedding anniversary. Sixty-one years is a big deal. Ryan and I are halfway to that many months...we'd have to live a long time to make it to that many years. If we do, and you're our caretaker, party for us, will you? I have no doubt we'll be out of our minds by then.

Meanwhile...a throwback to last week and a story I never told you! I have hesitated to write this post mostly because it has to do with guns, and my goodness is that ever way too hot a topic for this non-controversial blogger girl. So please know that I am not writing this to stir any pots. Please don't stir a pot. Just hear a story.

I'm not really a gun-girl. I think the only time I've ever encountered them in any form was back in 2010 when I went on vacation and my hosts lured me into trying their air-soft guns. I tried them, I probably didn't do very well despite their encouragement that I did, and that was the end of that.

But Ryan thought it would be a good thing for both of us to learn some basic skills, so he arranged for his brother to teach us. He's in law enforcement and quite skilled, and a very good teacher, I might add, after sitting in on his class. When I say he taught us, I don't mean he just mentioned a few things in our direction. I mean we sat a table...watched a power point, had verbal quizzes...it was a real class. And I have to say, it was really helpful. I am not really a big fan of classes and meetings, but he made it interesting and some of his points were things I had no idea about, so I came away feeling very educated and thankful that Ryan thought to set it up - and thankful that Rod was willing to take an evening to share his knowledge.

After class came the hands-on training. Rod had arranged for us to go to an outdoor shooting range, and he loaned me a pair of his fancy pants earplug thingies. {I'm sure there's a more technical term. But I like mine better.} Ryan asked if I planned to take out my earrings, and I said, "Why? Wore these on purpose so I can look cute for the pictures."

Right when we arrived, it started to rain, but we held on in case it let up, which it did. But I had to giggle at my own self, because there I was, out in the middle of a field, in my capris and t-shirt and dangly earrings, with big old ear plugs, my Vera Bradley purse hanging on my back, and the umbrella over my head. This is probably not the normal look for the shooting range, is it?

Ryan went first, and he looked like a pro to me!

And then it was my turn.

I will not lie. Scared. Out. Of. My. Ever. Loving. Mind.

It's kind of a bad mix when you throw the girl who hates to fail in a setting where she needs to hold her own in front of her husband, his cop brother, and the two other guys learning alongside us.

Rod told me to just relax. Seriously? Does ANY of this situation look relaxing to you??

So I gave it my best shot...so to speak.

Pretty sure I screamed when the shot finally fired, and all the guys probably laughed at me. But when I was done with that round, and Rod checked, he said, "Just so you know, you had a better shot than your husband."

Boom.

We each took turns at another round, and Ryan rocked it!!

The second time, I had one really bad shot, and I remembered that in our class, we learned one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to forget to breathe.

I forget to breathe often. Like this week...I've been a writing fool, and I've gotten so engrossed in my writing, I've totally forgotten to breathe. So when it occurred to me that I forgot to breathe, Rod stood there and said BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE...while I waited for my shot to fire. And it turns out he was right! That did help!

In the end, I won. I realize this is not a game, and there really aren't winners, but I so rarely win that I am making it a win/lose, and am declaring myself the winner.

Ryan was proud of me, although he did laugh when he found out I had every intention of keeping that paper. Forever.

And his mom told me later, that Rod didn't think I'd actually do it. Hey. I may be a big chicken, but I am NOT going to chicken out in front of all the boys. I'm braver than I look.

{PS - I may have come the closest to center this time, but Ryan ROCKED IT. He did great, and I am so proud of him!!!}

It's a Gallbladder!!

You guys blessed us to pieces yesterday with your kind words and the MANY prayers we know were being offered on our behalf. Thank you. I feel good enough to write, so I thought I'd let you see some pics {don't worry - nothing gross} from our day yesterday. Ryan, as if he did not rock ENOUGH by writing yesterday's post, also did an AMAZING job of documenting the day in photos. Man, I love that guy.

Before surgery, he surprised me with a sweet card and a couple of coffee mugs full of Reese's candy. I sobbed, of course, reading the card.

We had to be at the surgery center at 7:30, and we got all checked in right away. I was pretty weepy by the time we got to the hospital. The enormity of having surgery had settled in on me, and I wanted out. But Ryan and the nurses were sweet to me.

We were so surprised when Ryan's grandpa walked in! Grandpa Cox has been a dear friend of my Dad's for years, so he became my grandpa in my heart as easily as he became my grandpa in title. The fact that he would come over and sit with Ryan was such a gift. And we knew my parents were coming, so after everyone was there, they all gathered around my bed and Dad prayed over me.

I met the anesthesiologist and the doctor came in to meet me again as well. The nurses were busy tracking down the missing blood work from last week. ANYONE surprised by that?

They actually took me back about 15 minutes early, and I was NOT ready yet. I immediately started crying, and the nurses were so sweet to me. When they got me in the OR, it was so cold, and I was so scared, and I just needed one more prayer. I was half a breath short of asking the nurses if any of them were praying people, when the sweet nurse right by my head just leaned her whole body over mine, put her face by my ear, and prayed the most beautiful, heartfelt prayer. I am convinced God planted her in my OR for a very specific reason.

She put an oxygen mask on my face and I remember saying "I'm falling asleep, aren't I?" followed by a fleeting thought that I hoped they weren't going to kill me with that mask...and then I was coughing and sputtering in recovery.

Ryan told me that the surgery only took an hour...they'd prepped us for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, and that the gallbladder wasn't quite in as bad of shape as they thought. Still bad. But not AS bad.

I tried so hard to eat a graham cracker and drink some Coke, but I had no appetite at all. NONE.

The nurse told me I looked green. That didn't help. And it was with that news that I sent everyone but Ryan out of the room. No need for everyone to see a show if it happened. {Which it didn't.}

After about an hour, I gingerly climbed back into my clothes and prepared to go home:

Wheeled out and ready to go!

Again - thank you SO much for your prayers. We love you all!!!

Happy Anniversary to Us!!

So...we decided to spend our actual anniversary IN the city. And this time, we were takin' the train, baby!

Please do bear in mind that neither of us had ever ridden trains before {well, I rode one with my parents when I was in junior high, but I mean in the adult life, we'd not done this thing}. And may I again reiterate HOW MANY episodes of Law and Order SVU I've watched in my day. Too many to make for comfortable train riding...that's for blessed sure!!

We went to the train station in Schaumburg and bought our tickets - and then we waited for our little train. Choo choo!!!

What we did NOT know was that it stops in every single little burg between there and Chicago - and they are numerous. So we had about an hour to sit on that train. Ryan relaxed. I perused every single person who climbed aboard as a potential murderer.

BUT - in the end, we did arrive safely, and unkilled, in Union Station in the heart of Chicago. We wanted to get some lunch, so we asked Siri for a pizza shop. Her completely uncooperative answer SHOULD have told us something about her behavior for the day. Alas, it did not. Basically everything was "pretty far from us" - except, you know, the pizza shop I spied with my little eye across the street. Good night, nurse.

So we scurried over and had lunch, and then we headed toward our first tourist-y destination of the day: The Willis Tower.

It was so. stinking. cold. so we hurried over there and ran inside to look for the observation deck.

Just FYI, if you ever go there, the entrance to the SkyDeck is actually OUTSIDE in a whole separate area. You really can't get much of anywhere INSIDE the Willis Tower, other than Starbucks, without some serious badges. So after we ran around the side and got in the RIGHT part of the building, we went through security and mazes and all sorts of stuff just to make our way up to the 103rd floor.

The worst part was the elevator ride up. It only lasts one minute,but a whole lot of anxiety passed through me in that 60 seconds. Especially when the recording that plays all the way up starts telling you what earthly landmarks you're sailing past as you shoot up into the sky. LA LA LA LA LA!!!!

The day was kinda cloudy, so we couldn't see too terribly far, but it's still so stinkin' cool to see so much of the city from up there!

Check out the souvenirs we WANTED to get, but couldn't afford:

Yeah those were seventy bucks EACH. But I mean, seriously!?!?!?!!? Could there be a more perfect coffee cup?

There was the one thing I wanted to do...so badly...but I was so afraid.

You've heard about the ledges, right? They have four ledges that stick out from the side of the building and are glass all the way around. You can look straight down and see ground. My hands have gone cold and sweaty just TYPING this to you.

Ryan, of course, was all about the ledge.

And then there was me.

 

You guys, I was so scared! I mean if that bottom falls out - it's Bye Bye Bekah!!!! The worst part was that {much like in the grocery store} people were pushing their way out for their turn and I'm standing there wondering how much weight this thing actually holds!! WAIT FOR YOUR TURN, PEOPLE!

A really sweet lady who was apparently there by herself offered to take our picture for us:

 She asked if we would take her picture, so I was only too happy to grab her phone and scamper OFF this thing to return the favor. Once she handed it to me, though, she started to be attacked by nerves, and she wasn't sure she could do it. Ever the helper girl, I said, "Oh HE will help you!!! Ryan took her arm and helped her out onto the glass. She was SO CUTE!! She was so proud of herself for being brave, and I took her picture.

Yeah this is the down-view. SHIVER.

 With the city!!!!

 It's our anniversary. You can't escape kissing pictures. Sorry. But not.

 Getting braver!!

 After we felt we'd stayed long enough to get our money's-worth, we headed back down the elevator. Pretty excited to have it to ourselves! The TV with all its announcements was far less obnoxious on the way back down!

After successfully touring the really tall observation deck, we rewarded ourselves with some Starbucks, baby!!!

Next up...we had to figure out what to do with the rest of our day until our mystery dinner reservation. It was close to 4 p.m. by this point, and our reservations were not until 7 p.m. Ryan had arranged them and all I knew was the time. Everything else was a surprise for me.

This may be our best adventure OF THE ENTIRE TRIP. You are going to seriously love it. It is so Shaffer.

Come back tomorrow. And please love us.