And Now I See Why It Takes Flo An Hour in Hair and Makeup

A few weeks ago on Mid-Morning we talked about doppelgangers. I've been told I look like Flo the Progressive girl. And in researching Flo for that show, I learned it takes her an hour in hair AND an hour in makeup to achieve her Flo look. I thought that was ridiculous...until....I got married. Y'all, it is not a quick thing to go from...well...what you see every day to bride material. Here's how it went for me.

After my great morning with Ryan, we parted ways for the last time before the wedding. I took a shower and then one of my bridemsaids, Sara, and I got in the car and headed to the salon for me to get my hair done!

I chose the Sassy Hair Salon in Siesta Key largely because they had a website and were open on Sunday. (Virtually no salons are open on Sunday down there!) Anyway. They were amazing. So warm, welcoming, accommodating, and genuinely seemed to want to celebrate with me on my wedding day! They offered me my choice of water, coffee, or wine (hello!!! Coffee!!) and then I settled in for an hour and fifteen minutes of getting my hair done!

Of course, I was busy texting the entire time. :) I had to text all the guests who were traveling south to get to the wedding to let them know to take a different route than what most GPS's would say to avoid the traffic jams....I had to check in on Ryan...and I had to check in with Facebook!

Sara and my sister, Lori. She got in the night before and said she would go with me to the salon if I'd pick her up on the way. So I did! My best friend, Lynnette, was there too - she'd gotten her hair done right before me, so she was there when I arrived. (She's taking the pictures...therefore she's not in them.)

A look at the back (and hey!! There's Lynnette in the mirror!) - the guy doing my hair, Greg, commented on how much hair I have. Tell me about it!!

Adding the veil, baby! I think this is when it started to feel real that I was getting married. Sitting in the chair at the salon with a billion bobby pins and half a can of hairspray on my head - and that veil crowning it all.

(By the way - I didn't really have a hair plan when I went in. I'd gone on Pinterest and chosen two or three pictures of loose curls with the hair pulled away from the face and took pictures of them on my phone. I thought it seemed a shame to get an up-do and then cover it with the veil. So this was my beachside curly do!)

The makings of a bride!!

After that, it was off to find some lunch! Sara commented later that she couldn't believe how calm I was - even driving the carload of us around town! Bride on board, baby!! Guess where we went to get some lunch? McDonald's!!!! Yep, this bride wanted a McChicken and a big ole iced tea on her wedding day. :)

As we got on the road, I had to drop my sister back off at her condo so she could get ready for the wedding, and I had to pick up my niece (who is all grown up and STUNNING) so she could serve as my personal photographer for the afternoon. We went back to my room, where Lynnette and Sara joined me to help me finished getting ready. While I worked on my makeup....Lynnette and Sara (best bridesmaids EVER) ironed my dress. It had gotten just a wee bit wrinkly in transit.

Meanwhile, I was concentrating SO hard on my makeup. My dear friend Marie taught me how to do my wedding day face, but do you think I took a single note on the class? No. So I was busy trying to remember the correct order for applying all the layers so that I had enough to look vibrant but not so much that I looked hoochie.

I tried to appear confident....

But I really felt more like this:

I was most nervous about the eyes - but Cassie said I nailed them! (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

Then it was time to apply the jewelry. I wanted to go barefoot during the actual ceremony and only wear my flip flops to get around the grounds for pictures and such. So Lynne Ford loaned me these little "beach sandals" to wear. It's essentially an ankle bracelet that has a part that covers the top of the foot and hooks around your toe. I learned those sometimes are not easy to get on when you're also wearing toe rings. Woopsie!!

Earrings...I'll have to take close ups of all the jewelry for you. The earrings were made by my friend Rachel, with blue stones (because it was one of our wedding colors), pearls and crystals (because they were both in the detail of my dress).

Sara put my bracelet on for me...it was my gift from Ryan the morning of the wedding. It had white and brown pearls in it - and the brown pearls matched the pearl in his tie chain. I LOVED it.



 Then all that was left...was the dress! How do you get into this thing???? :) (It really wasn't all that difficult. I was just trying not to give anyone too much of a view on the way in!)

And now the real test - will. it. zip?

Indeed it did - and much better than the last time I'd tried it on. (Guess skipping the cokes those last two weeks paid off!) I added the necklace (hand blown clear and blue glass, also made by my friend Rachel) - and the outfit was complete!

Final step: add some spritz and it was FINALLY time to go see Ryan in full wedding gear!

The Start of a Perfect Day

I really want to tell you about our wedding day...not just our wedding ceremony. So bear with me here!! (And then I'll backtrack and tell you about our highly adventuresome trip TO the destination.)

Ryan and I talked about the whole tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding and I told him I was really not a fan. So, in our very non-traditional way of doing things...we began the day by meeting up for some time alone.

This is me BEFORE seven o'clock in the morning, waiting in the little courtyard outside my hotel room for Ryan to arrive. (Please let the record show I was ready first.) (This has not happened in our entire relationship career.) (Granted it is much easier to be ready when one does not have to do one's hair or put on one's makeup.)

We took our coffee and cookies (we're adults...we can have cookies at 7 in the morning if we want to) and the presents we got for each other...and our Bibles and journals...and headed to the beach!

Just gorgeous down there....

We had the most beautiful time together. (I decided to keep most of those things a blog secret - not that we don't trust you but that was our alone time together, so I'll just leave it at that.)

I will tell you...I would not have wanted to start this day any other way. It was such a blessing to have those two uninterrupted hours with Ryan at the start of our wedding day. We were able to share moments that have become unbelievably cherished memories in both our hearts. It calmed my heart to see him, talk to him, hear his words of love and comfort, and to see the warm look of love in his eyes.

After we finished up on the beach, we went to this little food cart in our resort complex. We'd gotten (not gonna lie - SUPER YUMMY) hot dogs there the day before and we noticed they served breakfast food too. So we went back for breakfast burritos.

Yes. This bride began her wedding day with 2 cups of coffee, a cookie, and a breakfast burrito. I think I forgot about FITTING INTO THE DRESS!!

It was actually kinda cool...while we were waiting on the breakfast, the guy making it asked if we were part of the wedding party on the premises. We told him we were the bride and groom and he gave us breakfast on the house! We were so thankful for that blessing!

I loved the whole morning. It was sunny and warm - over 60 degrees at 7 a.m. actually! the perfect way to start a wedding day. I am so thankful this was how we chose to start our day.

I GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been told my people need wedding day pictures. So I'm here to deliver...part 1 of a thousand, I'm sure. :)

I thought today I'd just give you an overview of the wedding day, and then I'll come back and recap the different parts if that's okay. :)

But I'd like to say before I begin that the day was 100% perfect in every way. Of course there were hiccups - and a couple that might have unglued some brides, but I didn't care. I was married. That's all I cared about. But our weather was gorgeous, I did not have one ounce of stress, and Ryan and I just really enjoyed everything about all of it. We keep talking about the day and how much we loved it. And we hope you love it too - via the bloggety blog blog!

Had my hair done at a salon not far from the hotel. This guy was really good. He had no idea the work he had cut out for him when I walked in the door. :) He took me from Mia Thermopolis before...to a glorious after.  

Did my own makeup. That worried me more than anything else. Had I gotten married in a more traditional fashion, I was going to have a friend of mine do it. But alas, I had to take a class from her and then hope I remembered how to do it!!

Loved everything about getting ready. I had my bridesmaids and my niece with me and I just took my time (all the while drinking iced tea and eating a McChicken.) (What bride eats McChickens on her wedding day?)

Obviously the kind that forget they have to fit IN the dress....the moment of truth here. Will it fit?

Seeing myself for the first time after I was completely ready. I cried. I had both a pretty day AND a skinny day. You girls will appreciate how hard it is to achieve both those things in one day!!

Had a "first look" with Ryan....

My family....the mafia. :) And please make note...Mom has on Victoria's Secret sunglasses. Hee hee hee.

Our wedding party...Adam and Sara....Mark and Lynnette.

Walking down the aisle to meet my love.

Listening to Ryan's recording of a song he did just for me.

Gorgeous ceremony. Loved it so much.

THE KISS!!

Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Shaffer!

Sunset in my husband's arms.

Florida in December = Beautiful.

Come back tomorrow for more?

Heart Vows

I'm a dedicated blogger, and you can know that the mere fact that I'm on my honeymoon will NOT keep me away from y'all this week. I know you want to know about the wedding! But it seemed tacky to pause the wedding itself to blog for today, so I'm going to take today to share a sneek preview with you and then I'll do my very best to begin actual wedding coverage tomorrow. Hope that is okay with you!

Ryan and I did what I lovingly called "repeaty vows" - and I'll share those with you eventually. But we also wrote our own vows to one another. Kind of a little letter to the other. And by little, of course, I mean mine was a page and a half, single spaced. So for my first blog as a married woman, it seemed only appropriate to share with you the things I love most about Ryan and the promises I made to him - as I read to him during our wedding yesterday. Enjoy:

Sweetheart, do you remember the afternoon when I sat on the floor of my living room in front of you and read to you from the journal of verses I’ve been praying over you for many years – even though I didn’t know you were you? I read you this verse: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

I already knew that day that you were my good and perfect gift – sent to me as redemption for the pain I’d lived through before. And with every word you’ve spoken and every action you’ve taken, God has confirmed to my heart that you are my gift. My redemption.

I love the way you pray for me – both in front of me and when we aren’t together. I love the way you have proven yourself to be a strong leader for me spiritually and how you guide us together before the Lord, not as my dictator, but as my loving leader. I love how you have unreservedly accepted me as I am and gently challenge me to be everything you see I can be – especially those things I cannot see in myself.

I’m amazed at how you trust me – after the pain you’ve lived through. And I’m amazed at how I trust you. Two wounded hearts can only trust like this after God has woven healing in them. We are proof of that. I love the way you understand me – even when I don’t understand myself. You know my heart in ways no one ever has. I love how you reassure me of your love through your words and through your actions. I love how you sense my needs and meet them before I even ask. I love the precious gift of your time you’ve given me, making me your priority and showing me now how I can trust you later with your time.

I love the fun we have together. I love our giant, obnoxious laughs and how we giggle until we cry and snort and then we laugh some more because that’s just funny. I love our jokes and the phrases that make us seek the other’s eyes, even across a room, to smile.

I love how you serve me. I love how you let me serve you. It’s never forced…it just is because it’s God-breathed.

I love how you comfort me when I’m afraid or sad. Even over the phone or through our notes and journals, you have a way of calming my heart and making me feel safe. I love how you guide me as we make decisions together and how we work through everything as a team.

I love how you compliment me and build me up when I feel I’m lacking. I love how you appreciate the things I do for you. I love how you appreciate the person I am. I love how you see a girl who felt invisible. Remember when you told me that? I see you. You do. I know it.

I love how you gently care for me and bless me and how you allow me to do the same to you because you see it is how I love you.

Ryan, you are my best friend. I am unguarded and unafraid in front of you. I joyfully take on a lifelong journey of learning at your side. I promise to make our home a safe place for your heart to dwell. I promise to value the man and love that you are. I promise to cherish you – this good and perfect gift God has sent to me. I promise to nourish you, encourage you, and love you. I promise to pray for you and with the help of the Lord, to be the helpmate you need to walk by your side from now until forever.

I’m honored you’ve chosen me to become your wife. I’m honored that our Abba would entrust me with your heart – this heart that I love so deeply.

Hear this promise from me today as I take it from Scripture:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up. A time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.

In each of those seasons, I pray we will cling to each other and build an altar that points to God to honor our love story.

Scripture says, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.

And my love, I say…let’s do THAT.

(A photo from the day I bought my dress...just to give you a sneak peek of what is to come. Hope you love it!)

It's the Weekly Recap! (And the Wedding Day!)

Well, y'all, before I launch into what I've been up to this week, I'll tell any of you who may have forgotten....today is our wedding day!!!! Yes, indeed! As you read through this list of leading-up-to-the-big-day details, yours truly will be preparing to walk down the aisle. Can't wait to tell you all about it. Seriously. Can't wait.

* Last Sunday afternoon, Ryan and I did wedding crafts all afternoon. Yes. He helped. (Melt.) And that evening, I had my (hopefully sole) bridezilla moment while we were packing. We worked so hard to pack everything we would need for the wedding and honeymoon. He wanted to see how much room it appeared to take up. You can be the judge of that:

* Monday I woke up with a serious case of the nerves!! Not nerves like "I'm so scared to do this" but nerves like "AAAAAAHHHH I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!" Had to pray my way through that! After work, I got busy putting together the activity pack for our trip (because we are overgrown two year olds) - and then I did my wedding pedicure. I did it myself because in truth, I really don't like salon pedicures. I am incredibly self conscious about my feet and hate to have them touched (except for by Ryan). So I wasn't paying however many dollars to be self-conscious for two hours! (Part of my something blue.)

* Tuesday evening I got my wedding manicure. This one was a trip-to-the-salon adventure. Oh how I have missed my Shellac manicures!! It was such a treat to go and be pampered for the evening...and as always, Debbie did a FABULOUS job. This is exactly what I wanted.

* Wednesday night I was absolutely pooped, so I came home and rested. After all, there's no time for the bride to be sick on her wedding day, right? So I decided to respect my need for rest and...rest!

* Thursday was my last full day of work before the wedding, so I spent the day crazy busy working to make sure everything was set for my absence. I got some GREAT gifts from my co-workers that day too. Seriously. The best co-workers ever. They showed up with gift cards and snacks and all kinds of stuff! And Jeri (you know, the one that made me believe 10K's are fun??) brought us these to use at our party the night before the wedding:

 * Friday I worked a half day (who does that the day they leave for their wedding?) and after Mid-Morning, I went home and hopped in the car with Ryan - and off we went for our wedding palooza! Nothing tests love like 24 hours in a car together right before a wedding, right? Nevertheless, we had a great time on the road!

* Saturday was the longest day OF MY LIFE. And not because it was the day before our wedding. It was largely because I had two hours of sleep and spent 2 hours and 45 minutes on the interstate waiting for a line of traffic to exit. MAMA. But we finally arrived at our destination and got all settled in...had dinner with our bridal party, and enjoyed a little party with our families too!

No Pinterest Inspiration this week.  I'm getting married. Everything came from Pinterest. :)



Waiting for Love

I am not sure what actually makes a person an expert on something. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that after 34 years of being single...I might qualify as something of an expert on the subject.

And so, on my last day as a single girl...I want to say a few things to those of you who are single. To those of you waiting for love.

I realize that getting married isn't for everyone. I have some friends that don't care if they ever get married. I don't understand that. I've longed for this since I was four. But I understand that it's not for everyone. And if you're one of those people that really doesn't care...good for you. But if you're one of those who really does care...who feels that life is wildly incomplete without marriage...who wonders sometimes if God even remembers you're here...keep reading.

* Don't stifle those feelings. I tend to feel deeply. And God heard every single heart cry about being single. There were days that it hurt so much to be alone that I cried...sobbed...from depths I didn't even know I had. I didn't do that in front of people, but I did it with God and I'm glad I did. It proved to me how much I want this and it showed God the sincerity of my heart.

* Start praying now for Mr. (or Mrs.) Missing. I started praying for my husband while I was yet in high school. (Had no idea he was roaming the same halls!) And as time went by, I prayed more fervently. I prayed all sorts of things over him. I prayed verses. I prayed character traits. I prayed journals full of prayers. I read Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife and prayed those things over him for months at a time. I read entire books of the Bible (the short ones in the New Testament...not like Deuteronomy or something) as prayers over his life. I prayed laps around tracks and circled literal country miles in prayer behind the wheel. And now I'm so glad I did. Every one of those prayers accomplished SOMETHING somehow in his life to make him ready for this next journey.

* Read. Read every book you can get your hands on about marriage. I spent my twenties reading marriage books. And by reading, I mean I sat with a ruler to underline and a highlighter - scribbling notes in margins and journaling powerful words. Not sure where to start? These were some of my favorites: Married Lovers, Married Friends by Steve and Annie Chapman, Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge, Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George, A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George, Lady in Waiting by Debbie Jones and Jackie Kendall, When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, and Love Life for Every Married Couple by Ed Wheat.

* Attend conferences if you can. Yes, I was the single girl who signed up for one day seminars and workshops at church that had to do with marriage. Yes, I sat alone. But some of the best lessons I learned came from those events, and now I know them BEFORE marriage.

* Observe every marriage you can. I have watched so many couples over the years, not in a creepy stalker sort of way, but in a student-of-marriage sort of way. In those times, I learned things like...wives who cut their husbands down publicly are not attractive. And if that's how they act with an audience, I shudder to think how they act behind closed doors...or...marriages where both partners are not committed to really wanting kids but they have kids anyway result in a lot of drama...or...it really IS possible to still be wildly, crazy, madly, newlywed-like in love with your spouse after twenty-plus years of marriage. Learn everything you can while you have the time.

* Don't push God. It may feel like He's forgotten you, but He hasn't. Every single tear, every single hurt, every single good time and bad time of your single years will be used when you're ready for marriage. I'm so glad now for all the years I had alone because it's taught me to appreciate Ryan that much more. I wouldn't have appreciated him so much if I'd met him back in high school. And all these years of living on my own taught me that I'm capable of so much more than I thought I would be. He's getting a better girl now because of all I've been through.

* Even if you think He's forgotten you...He's writing your love story. Some way. Some how. After Isaac left, I really thought it was all over. No love for me. I remember once that Julie Crandall told me she was still holding out hope that Isaac would show up on my porch and ring the doorbell and tell me he wanted me. He never did. But you know who did? Ryan. God's redemption, sent at just the right time, to redeem every ounce of brokenness I'd been left with.

So if this is you...waiting...hurting...wondering...you keep persevering. Keep going. He's got a plan. And I bet you anything....it's magnificent.

What I've Loved About Being Engaged

I've noticed that Ryan and I have begun a lot of sentences with "I can't wait until..."

Can't wait until our first date. Can't wait until we're engaged. Can't wait until we're married...and I thought it may seem that we don't appreciate the season we're in. And while I am certainly eager TO be married...I want you to know how much I've enjoyed my (very brief!) engagement season. So, as it draws to a close this weekend, I want to tell you some of the things I've loved most.

The proposal itself. I always tried not to dream too hard about my engagement because I never wanted to be disappointed by how it turned out if it didn't exactly match my preconceived notions. As it turned out, Ryan's planning and execution of the proposal went miles and miles past anything I ever could have contrived in my mind. I loved every single piece of it. I will cherish it always. It was sooner than I imagined and had just a wee bit bigger audience than I ever thought it would, but it was absolutely perfect for me and for us. Perfect.

Our day trip to Brown County the day after our engagement. Loved having that entire day completely to ourselves to celebrate in the way we wanted to - and to begin our planning. That was the day we decided to just go for it and have a wedding right away. It was lovely to be away and have the chance to dream our dreams for our wedding without any influence. Thanks, Love, for making this day so special.

(Successful!!) dress shopping! Loved sharing this evening with ladies from my work, with members of my family, and with friends. It wasn't the traditional wedding dress shopping night with the prescribed bridal party and mothers, but again - it suited me. (So wish my best friend could have joined up, though!) It was a special memory for me that I'll always treasure. And I can't wait to show you the pictures of that night.

Establishing traditions together - like going to a pumpkin patch and corn maze. Want to go every year!! And this is just a sampling of the things we began to establish - some on purpose and some by happenstance.

Having engagement pictures taken. We had such a great time - both nights - and loved making those memories to keep forever. I loved that they were taken in the fall with the gorgeous colors and I loved the way his mom captured our love!

My personal shower - where I got to share with friends, be prayed for by Grandma Sue...and just generally find myself spoiled by lots of love!! Loved it that both my bridesmaids could be part of that day too!

My bachelorette party - with so many of my long-time friends who have loved and supported me through some really really hard days and some really really great days! They spoiled me GOOD that night.

My work shower, where I was never short of enthusiasm. :) Love the ladies I work with and how they have cared for and supported me so wholly during my relationship with Ryan.

Making all the elements of the wedding - with Ryan's help. He was the perfect blend of letting my creativity run wild (and embracing my ideas) and helping with his own ideas. I never EVER ever could have enjoyed this engagement like I have without him. He did the lion's share of the planning (finding and booking the location, the photographer, the videographer, the coordinator) and made this entire two month span something I could fully enjoy in the way a bride should.

Sweetheart, I have ADORED being engaged to you and I want everyone to know what joy you've brought me in this season - both by living it fully alongside me and by doing so much hard work. I love you!!!

Nesting

I've loved the carloads of Ryan's things that have made their way over to our new home...loved watching him slowly make this his home too....loved hearing him CALL it home. I think the slow transition of bringing his life over one carload at a time has made the transition easier for me. I'm sure it's odd to have your own home for 12 years and in the space of one day, watch a truck back up to the front door and a whole new life move in. So this way has worked well for us.

Making space for Ryan has given me a chance to make this home a home again. That's something it hasn't been for many years.

I put this pillow on the bed...the one Lori gave me for my bridal shower.

When she opened her eyes, she awoke to her dreams.So true. This is so my life.

Something else I've loved....filling my frames with pictures of the two of us. This was from our first date. We liked the hotel and wanted our picture taken in front of it so that one day, when we go stay there, we can say "Remember how much we liked this hotel the first time we ever drove by it?" (Who chooses a hotel based on architecture? We do, apparently.)

I open the door and see clothes in my closet that are not mine. There's a very comforting presence about these clothes. Even if it means I don't have as much space. Even if it means there's more laundry. It also means there's someone else who will very soon share every day space with me.

New washcloths and towels. You understand the sheer delight of those sorts of new things, right? It's always a good day to get new sheets and blankets and bed covers and towels....and I loved organizing all of them to look pretty in the bathroom.

Love seeing the new (albeit temporary) comforter on the bed. Ryan isn't really a big fan of purple, so in our new house, we'll be going with blue. But for now, I pulled out the new set I bought over a year ago as a "happy housewarming to me" gift and we'll be using this. SOMEONE (who owns four legs) in this house is of the MISTAKEN impression it belongs to her and she makes herself quite at home when I turn my back. (Yes. She unmade the bed all by herself. E.vry.day.)

And the buffet - all ready for entertaining with new dishes from my showers. Can't wait to have people over with Ryan here too. Seriously. Cannot wait.

Love all these changes...and can't wait to begin to show you our life together!!

What I'm Looking Forward to the Most

Ryan and I have been knee deep in pre-wedding/pre-married life prep these last few weeks. It's been a combination of extremely exciting and also extremely fast-paced. Lots to do in a very brief amount of time. But all the prep, all the talking, all the dreaming, all these things have made me so eager to experience life with this man...every day.

* To have coffee together every morning.

* To cook dinner together. (Told him the other night as we were making a hot chicken salad, "I feel like we're on an episode of House Hunters. Those shows always close with the happy couple cooking together in their new kitchen. And they're almost always chopping peppers. Probably because in real life they don't actually cook." But we actually do cook and we love cooking together.)

* To do laundry together. (Weird, but something we actually like to do. And he has the most brilliant way of folding shirts I've ever known. Even my mother was impressed when I told her about it.)

* To have someone to put up the Christmas tree with. The last couple of years, Christmas decorating has been absolutely excruciating because doing it alone has finally caught up with me. So even though I'm OCD about wrapping the branches with lights and such, I'm so excited to share that with someone and have a way to make it a memory.

* Having a date on New Year's Eve. I have been so very, very blessed with friends who have welcomed me in on New Year's Eve every year - and I so appreciate it. But I'm beyond excited to have a date this year. Someone to kiss at midnight. Sounds like a Lifetime movie, doesn't it?

* Someone to vacation with. Again. SO many friends have vacationed with me over the years, and I've loved the blessing of having people willing to share those moments with me. But to be able to go on vacation with my husband...is so exciting.

* Saturday afternoon movies. Ryan worked this past Saturday morning and then he came over to help me with wedding stuff. He showed up with a bag of Chinese food and we hunkered down on the couch to eat and watch Four Christmases. Even though we had a billion wedding chores to do, we just took those couple of hours to rest, laugh our fool heads off, and cuddle. And halfway through, he turned to me and said, "I think Saturday afternoon movies with you are the greatest." Let's do more of THAT.

* Being spoiled. And I mean that in THE most non-selfish way I can possibly say. I am used to doing all the chores all the time all alone - and even in the time we've had together, it's been such a treat to have help with things like the laundry and the dishes and the lawn mowing and the trash. To see him WANT to love me by helping with (or just flat out doing) those things - makes me feel so loved. Can't wait for it to be every day. And lest I look completely greedy, I can't wait to spoil him right back with all kinds of (granted limited) gifts I have.

Just life. That's what I'm looking forward to. Whether we're cleaning up the kitchen or planning for a trip or having a fun date, I'm looking forward to life with Ryan.

So. So. Grateful.

Day vs. Detail

I need to say this at the very beginning of this post: I am so so so so so so excited about my wedding day. I've been dreaming of this day for YEARS. Like thirty of them. I've been pouring hours - days - even weeks - of planning into this one day to make it memorable and special and all those things brides long for.

But this is what has thoroughly shocked me about myself as I've gone through this planning season:

More than once, I've been heard saying, "It's okay. At the end of the day, I'm still married and that's all I really care about."

 WHAT?!?!

Is that really me talking??

It is. I think it means I'm all grown up now. Praise. The. Lord.

Next Sunday morning, I'm going to get up and walk to the beach to enjoy a beautiful time alone with Ryan. Coffee. Gifts. Breakfast. Prayer. Probably some tears.

Then I'm going to get my hair done. How? No idea. Not taking a 3 ring binder of pictures. Perhaps, if I have time, I might hop on Pinterest and snap a couple pictures with my phone to get a general little idea-let for what I want. Or I might just meander into the salon and say, "Ehhhh do whatever you think looks good." (Seriously - what bride says that??)

Then I'm going to put on my makeup and hope to goodness I don't make myself look like Tammy Faye. (It's entirely possible.) Then I'm going to put on my pretty dress...and my flip flops...much to my mother's chagrin. (Who wears flip flops to a wedding, she asks? Lots of brides. Including THIS ONE.)

Then I'm going to walk onto the beach and see Ryan for the first time in my wedding dress. And since I've not been to the beach before, I haven't scoped out yet where that will take place, so I can't envision that moment. But I don't really care. I have envisioned, a hundred times, the look in his eye when he sees me for the first time. And I can't wait to see that look.

And then we'll take a bunch of pictures. Not sure how that couple of hours will look either. Not sure what poses we'll get. I have a few notes scribbled in my day planner, but however it goes, I'm happy. As long as I hear shutters clicking, I'm good.

And then our guests will show up and sit down and I'll walk down a sand aisle lined with tiki torches - and I'll see Ryan waiting for me at the water's edge. (Incidentally - no idea what song I'm walking in to. I asked Ryan to pick out the song he wants to hear when he sees me walking toward him. And I want to be surprised. I'll know it when I hear it.) And we'll have a ceremony, which I've left (with full confidence) in the capable hands of my brother-in-law, who gets me. I have not a single worry about how the ceremony will go, because even if it deviates from his eight page script, it'll be okay. He'll make it exactly what I would want.

And then the wedding will be over and as the sun sets, I'll dance in my love's arms. To what song? No idea. He'll pick one. I'll love it. Always do.

And then we'll have a little reception. We'll cut some cake and drink some coffee and mingle with the guests and maybe have a toast - if the bridal party wants to. We left it up to them.

And somewhere along the way, probably one (or more) of those things won't go "right." Won't go as planned. Pretty much the only thing I've begged for is good weather. Other than that...whatever happens...it's just a day. Granted, it's a HUGE day. A day I've longed for. But my life won't be ruined if something goes out of order. Because at the end of the day, I'll be married. And that's what I want most of all. Everything else is just a detail.

Eight Cows

Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is the last week I'll be writing to you as Bekah Freelan. I'm a billion times excited to get married, but it is so strange to realize that this week is actually HERE. Know what I mean? You wait and wait and wait to get married and then it actually happens and you think...wait...is this really my life?

So I thought in honor of our upcoming wedding, I'd write a few thoughts I've had about the conclusion of this season in my life. Might take me all week. Hey. It's been a 34 year season. I'm allowed a week, don't you think?

Last year, I wrote this blog post about the eight cow wife. Go check it out if you don't know the story of the eight cow wife, because it sounds really strange if you don't know what it is.

Anyway. I prayed to be an eight cow wife. I hoped to be an eight cow wife. But I'll be really honest with you. I wasn't sure the eight cow kind of husband was out there. I really wasn't.

Were there still the kind of men who had that great blend of good old fashioned chivalry and a gut-busting sense of humor? The kind of men who weren't afraid to lead well and yet at the same time were willing to be vulnerable about their own weaknesses?

I was convinced such men did not really exist.

But they do.

This past week as I continued to prepare my heart and mind to become a wife, I spent a lot of time reflecting on Ryan's character. I'm continually amazed at (and sometimes struggle to accept graciously) the way he treats me.

The way he's made me an eight cow wife.

The way he has jumped, headfirst, into the massive task of teaching me that I have that kind of worth. The way he takes care of me and yet embraces the ideas and gifts I bring into our relationship. The way he wants to spend time with me. The way he wants to talk about our relationship and not deny that it exists. The way he pushes me to be more than I even see I can be...and yet at the same time never makes me feel less than whole the way I am.

I want to write this whole thing to him right here, so you can know all the things that have made this dream come true for me. Alas, most of the things I'd say are in my vows and I'm trying to keep that eight page essay (just kidding) (kind of) a secret until the wedding.

But I'm so thankful. This is more than I ever hoped to know. And if you're where I was in my original blog post...if you're still waiting and wondering, I beg you to keep persevering. I don't know when God will bring someone to make you an eight cow wife, but I can assure you He still makes men of that caliber. And if you're one of the guys that hangs out here - married or not married - I beg you to be that kind of guy.

It's the Weekly Recap!

* Last Sunday, I was so excited because it was my first time to go to a church dinner with Ryan. Well. Kind of. Since we've gone to the same church for so many years, I've eaten (in a group setting) with him before, but to go with him, was such a blessing. It's the little things for me. I love experiencing all those little things with him.

* Monday I saw this beautiful sunrise on my way to work. I just wanted to pull the car over and snap many pictures because it was so pretty! But alas, I'd have been late.

Monday evening I fell in love with DVR. Haven't ever had it before and now I do. Ryan told me it would spoil me. Boy was he ever right about that. I was so happy, I just curled up on the couch with my dinner and the remote. Sigh of joy.

* Tuesday evening was another chore/errand evening for me, and that included taking the time to work on this little Thanksgiving project for Ryan. I adore having someone to spoil!

* Wednesday I worked from home in the morning, and then I had the afternoon off work. Ryan invited me to visit his job for lunch, since they were having a carry-in - so I could meet the rest of his co-workers! I'd met some of them at a party a few weeks ago. I went for lunch and then ended up staying the rest of the afternoon, watching him work. I ADORED that so much. I'm so proud of him and how well he does his job! That evening, we worked hard on wedding hoopla - including printing our programs!

* I already told you about Thursday...our first Thanksgiving together. I was so thankful to have Ryan there to go with me to my parents' house for lunch - and it was good to be able to go with him to his family gatherings too. This is the kind of life that I just thoroughly enjoy sharing with him!

* Friday morning, Ryan had to work, so I went to get my hair cut and dyed before the wedding! No grays allowed at this event! Then he and I hopped in the car and drove to Indianapolis to do some other pre-wedding shopping. On Black Friday. What were we THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?!

* Saturday morning I stayed in bed until NOON working on my scrapbook! My last chance to scrap before I get married, so I made the most of it! Ryan came over for the afternoon and evening and we had the best time laughing and talking and cooking and doing laundry and cleaning and organizing and working on wedding craft projects! Braeya...not so much of a help. Always willing to participate, though!

Pinterest Inspiration: I feel like this one is cheating because I never actually saw this thing on Pinterest, but looking at all the "tell someone how thankful you are" pins led me to construct this little gift for Ryan:

I found these little cards and envelopes at Hobby Lobby. Bought some chipboard letters and glued them on to spell THANKSGIVING. On each card, I wrote something I was thankful for that began with that letter. He LOVED opening them!!

That's it, folks! Next Sunday, as you read, I'll be getting married!

Please Excuse My Engagement Brain

I hear women talk about having pregnant brain - where they are allowed to forget things without fault because they're pregnant. Well I won't know anything about that, but I think there's a similar condition called engagement brain, and I have it. And today my brain is going in 50,000 directions, so hopefully it's okay to do a bullet-point post today. :)

* Our wedding program is 16 pages long. Not kidding. If you're coming to the wedding, bring your readers.

* Our wedding is eight days away and I'm both pleasantly thrilled with how little there is left to do and simultaneously scared out of my mind at how much is left to accomplish.

* Last week, I entered my name into a Mid-Morning promo synopsis for the last time as Bekah Freelan. That was a strangely wonderful feeling.

* No, I'm not hyphenating my last name. Or keeping my maiden name. I've waited many years to change my name. Bring. It. On.

* I don't like Thanksgiving food. I realize that has nothing to do with the wedding, but I just ate an entire plate of leftovers and am reminded once again that this is not my favorite meal of the year. Why didn't the pilgrims eat pizza??

* Braeya unmakes the bed on a daily basis now. It's not even the dead of winter yet, but apparently she finds great comfort in burrowing into the deepest recesses of the bed, leaving me to wonder why I even bother to make the bed in the morning.

* If you want entertainment, follow Ryan and me around the mall on the evening of Black Friday. We are the two most impatient shoppers ever, and a mall full of people leaves us...ummmmm...well it's just funny. Add a screaming child and you can just forget it.

* Ryan and I caught part of the ALF marathon on TV the other evening. We decided it has some really bad acting but some of the best one-liners ever. Our current favorite, "It's Christmas Eve. I've hidden all the eggs." Not sure why we find that particular one so funny, but we do.

* This may be the first year in the history of years that on Thanksgiving night, I didn't have my Christmas letter written, my card ordered, and at least 32 hours of Fa La La La Lifetime viewing under my belt.

* To my credit, I did design my card but the stupid 50% off code that was supposed to still be valid would not apply. And this bride is NOT paying full price for Christmas cards, thankyouverymuch.

* Saying things like "stupid 50% off code" is about as close to being a bridezilla as I get. (About.)

That's my randomness for today. Any wedding questions? Feel free to ask. If I can answer without giving away a surprise...I will!