Looking for Home

When we moved last year, we decided not to change churches right away. In all the chaos of buying, selling, renovating, moving, and settling, we needed something to stay constant. We needed familiarity and a sense of belonging. We loved our church, even though it was our accidental church.

That first Sunday we'd walked inside its doors, we had fully intended to sneak in and out, unnoticed, because we were convinced we weren't permanent residents of Marion. We didn't want to establish roots at a church, only to relocate shortly thereafter and have to leave friends and a place of belonging.

God had other plans, though. The move to Fort Wayne we absolutely imagined we would make...never happened. God kept us in Marion, and every Sunday we trekked to that church, sat in its pews, and accidentally made friends. And accidentally got involved. And accidentally belonged.

So you see, when we did move, three years later, we didn't want to leave that church. We had friends. We had a Sunday School class. We loved the teaching. We'd found ways to serve.

For six months, we made the long commute from our new home to our old church. It wasn't until last August, right after we'd driven 850 miles (each way) to my niece's wedding, that I spent three days in a row from early morning until late evening, serving at the church, and we knew. We knew it wasn't going to work for us to keep commuting to church. We knew we wanted to keep serving and keep participating, but to do so from a distance was impractical. The time had come. We needed to find a local home.

So we finished out a month of commitments at that church, said our goodbyes to friends, wrote letters and delivered gifts of thanks to the church staff, and all the while, we prayed long and hard. We talked openly about what we wanted in a church. We did extensive research online to try to find places that seemed like a good fit.

Last October, we walked into the doors of a church we'd never visited before. We walked hand-in-hand, thankful we at least had a pew-buddy. (Visiting churches alone is wildly uncomfortable. I've done it before and remember!) We were warmly welcomed, we enjoyed the teaching, and we decided to go back the next week.

And the next. And the next. We stayed. Never tried another church. Declared this one home. (For sure. It went in the scrapbook. That makes it official!)

Well, that was easy!

Except six months later, we both knew. Separately but together, we knew the place we thought was home - the place we wanted to be home - wasn't home. The people were kind. There was no mistaking that. But we didn't see eye-to-eye on some of the theology, and we hadn't found a place to belong. We knew it might take time, but in six months, every effort we'd made had come up short.

Discouraging? Yes. It sort of felt like an odd dejavu of dating. What was wrong with us? Why couldn't we fit in? Why, after such a careful approach to a huge commitment, did it feel all wrong?

So a little over a month ago, we left quietly. We walked out knowing it was our last Sunday, and we didn't really feel anything except confused. We sent notes to a couple of friends we'd made in the six months we'd attended, letting them know why we were about to disappear and to thank them for reaching out to us, and then we began the search all over again.

We scoured the web again, reading belief statements, researching backgrounds, exploring the ministries.We tried to be careful but not picky. Every church we visited was good and the people were kind, but none screamed welcome home!

We finally found one that received a "let's go back" vote from both of us, but it's far too early to know if this is actually home, or just the best fit yet.

But either way, we've learned a lot in this search. We've learned what we long for, what we thought we wanted but apparently really don't, and that the process of looking for home can be long and lonely.

Church is a huge responsibility. To find a place that is solid and faithful and friendly and a heart-match is far more involved than we ever thought it would be. But we remain hopeful that the right match is there somewhere. And we can't wait to find it!

The Shafferland Shuffle

We absolutely wore ourselves out this week. By Friday night, we were asleep on the couch while a movie played on TV. Here's to an easier week - we hope!

* Last Sunday, as I already told you, we went to Hemlock Friends Church so I could speak in their morning worship service. Ryan got to ring the bell, and after church, one of the families invited us to join them for lunch, so that was a fun surprise! We were pretty much bums for the rest of the day once we got home. Three hour naps, I believe!

* Monday was gorgeous, and it was so welcome after the collection of gray days we'd had recently. Sunshine on the trees, Braeya napping in the sun...just beautiful. After work, we ran a few errands, which included going through the car wash. That warmed up the car in a hurry!

* Tuesday was supposed to be Tuesdays at the Table night, but our guests were sick, so we just had the night at home instead. I still made some of the food we planned to have, including a quick bread made with rosemary and onion. I do love the flavor of rosemary. Ryan got back to working out this week, which has made him feel much better, and Braeya was high-fiving him for his effots.

* Wednesday brought the start of a new computer system for Ryan's work, which has single-handedly made me a work widow. LOL. I remember starting new systems back in Financial Aid, they are 100% brain drain. I know it! He stayed through a lot of lunches and worked very late many days this week getting used to this thing! But that morning, one of his co-workers brought donuts to encourage everyone! So sweet! Another of his co-workers asked if I could help her by making some desserts for her, since she didn't have time or energy this week and she needed them for things she was going to. So I baked cookies!

* Thursday was our super busy day. Work for Ryan, dentist for me, followed by a visit to the station to see my friends, TWO viewings that night, and then the celebration of our 50th monthiversary with the "B" themed date from our alphabetical dates. This day may have been why we were asleep on the couch Friday night.

* Friday, I went to a Chocolate Celebration fundraiser here in town and served as a volunteer photographer {more on this tomorrow}, so between prepping, attending, and editing, that took up most of my day! Our friend Shawn and his boys and their cute little puppy stopped by to see us that evening, and other than that, it was pizza and snoozeville for the Shaffers.

 * Yesterday was a long work day for Ryan, so I worked at home and did our grocery shopping. What on earth possessed me to brave the store alone the day before the Super Bowl is beyond me and mine. Whew! I tried to cheer Ryan up by taking him a latte at work, and when he came home, we enjoyed a lovely evening at home together. I finished my VERY LAST WORKOUT in the Hammer and Chisel lineup. WOO HOO!!! :)

The Shafferland Shuffle

How in THE WORLD is it the last Sunday in January already?!!?!? On the flip side, after last weekend's unseasonably warm weather, I'll take it being the last Sunday in January, because it means we are that much closer to SPRING! Yes, please! :)

* Though we dearly love our Sunday naps, we had abbreviated versions of them last week, because we met up with Ryan's family for dinner and the celebration of his sister's 30th birthday! Dinner was at Half Moon, which is a local restaurant, and Ryan LOVES their food but hadn't eaten there in a very long time. It was his first really big meal post-surgery, and he ate every single bite and loved it! AND he didn't get sick. BONUS!

* Ryan had to return to work on Monday, and it was so busy, he didn't even get to come home for lunch. Sadness!! But I baked snickerdoodle brownies to take to his work friends, along with a thank you note for how they filled in for him while he was off work on gallcation. (Ryan fed a piece to Brutus. Ha!) We didn't schedule anything for that evening, because I feared he might be tired from his first day back, so we just hung out and I started reading my novel for the week, which I loved.

* Tuesday was a very busy day, including a podcast interview and some other work I had to get done quickly, and I had to do my workout early in the day. I know some people enjoy working out early in the day, but I'm not one of them. I MUCH prefer to do it later at night. So it was kind of a struggle, but I got through it. We had Bible study that night, and Miss Pheebs was there and snuggled up between Ryan and me for the whole thing. No arguments from me!

* Wednesday morning, I saw the most BEAUTIFUL sight! A tree full of fat robins! I know it's not spring and we have more winter to come, but I called it my tree full of hope! That night, Ryan and I enjoyed another night in and we actually cooked dinner together. We love to do that, but normally I have it ready when he gets home from work, so we don't have the chance. It was fun to work side by side! And then - the workout. Back in its regularly scheduled slot. And not as much fun as eating. LOL!

* Thursday, Braeya and I hung out together for a reading party, and then while Ryan worked overtime, I headed out to get my hairs done. (Not a fair gig for him, is it? But he got pizza for dinner, so I think that made it worth it for him.) It had been MONTHS since I had a highlight, and the hair was, well, white. Sigh. After marinating for a while under some foil and saran wrap, I came home a new woman!

* Friday night, our church had a chili supper and bake sale to raise money, and I wanted to take a dessert for the bake sale. I made buckeye brownies, and they're not hard to make at all, but they do have multiple layers and require cooling time, so I was up at 6:30 in the morning baking the brownie layer! We went to the chili supper when Ryan got off work, and it was delicious! We rounded out the night with some grocery shopping and coffee and (of course) DATELINE! lol! We're so old.

* Yesterday we started a new thing, which I can't wait to tell you more about! Alphabetical dates! Throughout the year, we'll go on a date themed by each letter of the alphabet. {I found the idea on Pinterest. Don't think I'm more creative than I actually am.} We were supposed to go on the "A" date a couple of weeks ago but had to postpone it until Ryan could eat real food again. So yesterday was our day! I'll tell you all about it next week, but we had a great time and I think this is going to be a fun adventure.

A Shafferland Christmas

Well, as I sit to write this to you, it's late on Sunday night, and we have had one very full, nice, hard, unexpected, and fulfilling day. That's a lot to ask of one Christmas, isn't it? My mind is still processing all the things that made up this day, but I wanted to tell you about our part here at home!

Since Christmas was on Sunday this year, our day looked a little different from what it normally does. We got up early and made a breakfast together. This was a new recipe that one of Ryan's co-workers just gave us on Christmas Eve, but we went to get the stuff for it, and it was delicious. {Not clean, but delicious!} Maple cream praline goodness in a dish. {Pardon my wet hair.}

Then we went to church! Our church did a Christmas Eve service Saturday night that was identical to the Christmas morning service, so people had the option of going at the time that best fit their schedules. We couldn't go Saturday night because of the Shaffer family Christmas, so we went Sunday morning. We sang ALL the Christmas songs, and I loved it! The message was excellent, too!

We had about an hour in between church and my family Christmas, so we exchanged our stockings then. These are the only gifts we exchange at Christmas now, since we've moved to doing a collective gift to each other as our "big" thing.

Braeya went first, and I think she liked her new toy. And her dad.

Oh my word, people. I forgot to show you our attempt at a family photo. Let's just say Braeya prefers to cuddle on her own terms. {aka never.} Here are a few of the shots:

Doesn't it just crack you up???

It went a lot better when it was just the two of us:

Our stockings were fun and I'll show you a few of our treasures:

 {Yes, that is a Christmas Vacation mug.}

And his "big gift" for the stocking...a little toy!

{A drone with a camera, if you can't see. He was pretty excited!}

ALSO excited...

 And then it was my turn!

 {I use the alarm on my phone for a clock, but I had mentioned to Ryan a while ago that it would be nice to have an actual clock for when I wake up in the night and have to fumble for my phone to see the time. We started to buy a clock and then I told him to just wait and put it in my stocking. And then I promptly FORGOT about that, so this was quite a surprise!}

My first grown up coloring book!!!!

 And my "big gift" - which I was SO excited about. There's a house in our neighborhood that has this super cute "hello" on the front door. I comment on it EVERY time we walk by it. So bless Ryan's little heart, he got on Etsy, {ETSY!!!!} and found a shop that made not only a "hello" sign for the front door but a "see ya later" sign for the inside of the front door. I'm so excited to see them on the door!

We finished up just in time to pack up the car and head out to my parents'. {And on the way, we encountered an SUV that had just broken down in the middle of a busy road, so we pulled over and Ryan helped the guy push the car into a parking lot. Another gentleman stopped to help too, which was very nice. Poor guy with a broken car on Christmas!! :(

It was just the beginning of our busy day, but it was a nice beginning!

Just Thankful

Thanksgiving rolls around next week, and speaking of rolls...anyone looking forward to indulging in one of those during the holiday meal? My mom is a great roll-maker, and not surprisingly, it's one of the gifts I did not inherit from her. That...and pie making...and candy making. It's all very sad. So whenever she makes a batch of rolls, I like to save a carb up and have one. They're worth it.

But even though we're still a week away from Thanksgiving, it's not too early to be thankful, and I thought today would be a great day to do just that here on the blog!

A few things I'm thankful for...in no particular order:

* This house and the journey to get here. When I think that ten months ago, we had not even stepped foot on the property, and now it feels like we've always lived here, I think that calls for some major gratitude. Everything about finding the house, purchasing it, renovating it, settling into it, and now enjoying it brings about a major swell of joy in my heart.

* Our new city. I wasn't scared about moving to a new city, but I was curious how the transition would go, since I'd lived my entire adult life in Marion. But it's been such a blessing to be closer to our family, to be able to be involved in helping them when they need something, being able to be included in things that we were too far away to be part of before. This place suits us.

* Those who carry the baton. This year we said farewell to the Bekah-mobile and to our first home together. While we try not to be overly sentimental, those things did matter to us, and in both cases, we passed the baton to people who understood the love and care we had put into them and promised to carry that on. And we've heard that both are thriving under new ownership, and that makes us happy.

* Our new church. We have begun attending a church closer to home, and while it was hard to leave the place where we worshiped for the last 3.5 years, we've begun to settle in to our new church home. We're starting to learn names, we've found a seat to call ours, and we've been welcomed and embraced already, which is a huge answer to prayer.

* Phoebe. Since I still haven't convinced Ryan that Shafferland needs a dog, I'm grateful for Phoebe. We get to watch her semi-regularly, and she is such a fun little girl. We love how excited she gets when she sees us, we love how she adores cuddling, and Ryan particularly loves what he calls "joint custody." All the fun without the expense. Maybe that's why he sees no need for a dog of our own...

* New opportunities. This year brought about a host of new opportunities for me. Speaking in new places, writing new material, freelance work, podcasting, working from home, chasing dreams, releasing a new book...WOW! What's not to be thankful for there??

* Tuesdays at the Table. This little idea we conjured up and threw into motion at the end of the year has been such a blessing to us. We have loved actually having time to open our home and welcome in friends and family, and my goodness - do we ever have a growing list of people yet to invite! {And if you want to come visit, give us a holler!}

* Great friends. From those who pitched in to help us with all the aspects of moving, to those who have included us in their happenings this year, to those who keep in touch even though we may live a great distance apart, I'm reminded that we both have many wonderful friends. That is a huge blessing!

* You. Hanging out with you every day when you come to visit is a complete joy. I look forward to talking with you in the comments, hearing your stories, and sharing with you. THANK YOU for coming over so regularly and allowing us to be part of your days!

* Ryan. I can't close out a list (and this is by no means a complete list of what we're thankful for) without including Ryan. I am thankful for how hard he works to provide for us, how he supports me in my dreams and makes me feel like I'm making a difference in our home, and how he shows his love in a million ways. I'm thankful for the dreams we've conjured up for the future and for all the exciting things yet to come!

So that's a few thoughts from my head...now it's your turn! What are you pausing to be thankful for this week?

The Shafferland Shuffle

(Before we start peeking at the week, I wanted to let you know that the Ann Voskamp giveaway pack goes toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo: ASHLEY FEEMSTER!!!! I will email you, Ashley! Congratulations!)

* You would think that last Sunday would have been the happiest day of the year for me, what with the time change and all...but man, was I ever in a weird funk all day. I was not a fan!!! The day started well, though, with a leisurely breakfast together and church. We went to lunch with some people from the church we've been attending {which I think we can safely officially call "our new church} and that was fun! I love making new friends! It was such a pretty day that we took a walk that afternoon and wrapped up the night with podcasting!

* Monday was an equally lovely day. I am still reveling in all the beautiful, natural light we get in our house! :) Ryan had to run some errands after work, so I asked him to stop and get TP for us...and apparently he is expecting a digestive catastrophe to hit our house! :) He had to go back to work late at night to finish his notes, so I went with him and walked on the treadmill and watched Hallmark movies while he worked.

* Tuesday was election day, and since we'd already voted, it was just a Tuesday for us. We chose to spend our evening together with friends, hosting a Tuesdays at the Table taco night, and it was such fun. I'm thankful for chances to welcome people into our home. It is my happy place. After they left, we had to run to the store for butter so I could make a dessert for a carry-in at Ryan's work the next day, and I learned that apples sure look different from what they used to! LOL!

* Wednesday was writing day, and I had no intentions of leaving my jammies OR my laptop all day. And it worked that way until late afternoon when I found out we needed to go to a viewing that night. Whoopsie. I threw on blingy jewelry, tried to rock the pony, and hoped it would pass the test. And I was so emotionally spent from writing that when we got home, Ryan took over assembling our dinner, and I do believe it tasted even better because he did it.

* Thursday I baked pumpkin snickerdoodles for my friend Sheryl's birthday, and then that night, Ryan and I had a midweek date at a fancy dinner. I'll tell you more about it next week, but I borrowed a dress and Ryan pulled the full suit and tie out of the garment bag, and we had a great time at our dinner!

* Friday, Ryan was so busy at work that he didn't have time to come home for lunch, so I took lunch to him! We ordered a pizza that night, waited the appropriate time, went to get it, and found out the place was so behind, the pizza had just gone into the oven. So we came home, waited some more and went back. Ask me how excited I was to (literally) hang out in a dark alley while Ryan went in to wait for the pizza!! EEK!! Must have been a good pizza. He and Braeya both conked right out after dinner!

* Yesterday was CRAZY!! Started out early with  a trip to Sam's Club for a Christmas present. We had no idea it was like their Black Friday, and when we arrived 15 minutes before they opened, the line was already down to the end of the building. WHAT?!?!?? Ryan worked most of the day and then we had lots of errands to run, including a trip to see our dear Phoebe AND a birthday party for one of our friends. WHEW!

What I Learned in October

WHAT!!?!?!?! October is over??? But I haven't started scrapbooking it yet! Guess I better hurry! October is done, which means a happy birthday {yesterday} to my sister, a Happy Halloween to all of you today {don't eat too much candy}, and it's time for another round of wisdom/useless information gathered throughout the past 31 days!

1. We don't like vanilla flavored Greek yogurt.

Anymore, I use Greek yogurt in many ways: to make salad dressing, as a mayo and sour cream replacement, as the main course for breakfast, etc. Because I sometimes need it sweet and sometimes need it savory, I always buy plain yogurt and just sweeten it with honey as needed. Early this month, our grocery store was out of plain yogurt, but they had vanilla, which promised no artificial flavoring, so we bought that instead. Hated it. I ended up using it in the protein shakes I make, because the other flavors in the shake compensated for the aftertaste, but we decided this is not the yogurt for us. Back to honey.

2. Fall in our new home is lovely.

I lived in the same house for 16 years, so I am thoroughly enjoying the change of scenery at the change of this season! This is our first fall in our new home, and I'm quickly learning where all the prettiest trees are in the neighborhood, and I'm soaking in every bit of this transition to beautiful leaves! 

3. Finding your stride in a new church home is an undertaking.

At first I started to say it was "hard," but I'm not sure that's the right word. Ryan and I started looking for a new church home at the start of this month, and we actually really liked the first church we tried. So for that reason, I don't think we can say it's been a hard season, but it's truly an interesting position being the new people in the family. We have to find new friends and ways to serve and how to be comfortable among a group that has already found a comfort zone. So it's an undertaking. One that has been way more positive than negative, but still an adjustment, for sure!

4. I love having Ryan by my side when I speak at retreats.

This month, I got to take him with me to the retreat I spoke at, and it made all the difference in my soul. To have him right there to pray over me and support me was beyond what I could have even imagined. We knew we were better as a team, but I don't think we knew until that moment that we were SO invested as each others' best teammates! 

5. I love planning days, even if I am mocked for them.

I set aside a day this month, packed a bag, and went to a coffee shop to do some planning for the next calendar year. Ryan's co-workers did NOT understand the importance {and sheer joy} of being in the presence of coffee, multi-colored pens, and papers to do my planning, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. To be fair, all the brainstorming 100% wore me out, and I had to go to bed early that night, but it was still FUN!!!! I'm excited to see what God does with 2017.

6. I have not outgrown craft dates with friends.

Before I was married, I frequently got together with friends to do some version of crafting. {Usually scrapbooking.} A variety of factors ended that habit for the most part, but early this month, one of my friends wanted to celebrate her birthday by hosting a bring-your-own-craft-and-a-snack-to-share night. We got together at her grandma's house, in an old workshop area, and had the best time crafting. I felt bad leaving Ryan at home while I hung out with my glue gun and a plate of snickerdoodles, but it was SO MUCH FUN. Hmmmm...we do have that nicely finished garage. Perhaps I should host craft dates of my own!!!  

 7. I enjoy helping people tell their stories.

This month brought a new adventure for me: freelance writing! I was hired by an organization to help edit a book that tells the stories of their years of service. Along the way, in addition to editing, they asked if I could just straight up write some of the stories for them. So I spent several hours at my desk, listening to recorded interviews and crafting stories from what I heard. I'd never done this before, but I learned I really loved it. I have no idea if this kind of work is a one-time thing for me, or if it's a door opening for work God has ahead, but I thoroughly enjoyed helping tell a story! 

That's what I learned this month! I don't think Emily Freeman does her linkup of these anymore {at least she hasn't for the past few months} which is EXCEEDINGLY sad, because it was so much fun to read what people had learned, but it's still a fun post for me each month. Good to know I haven't given up learning!