My Faith Bucket List

I love the app on Facebook that lets you look back and see what was happening on this day throughout all your Facebook years.

When I glanced at mine yesterday, I saw that six years ago, I was practicing my Colts manicure in honor of the upcoming Super Bowl. {And also that I was no good at lefthanded horseshoe drawing.} The one pictured here was done with my right hand, so it isn't so bad.

Five years ago, I noted that a particular four-legged occupant of this house was in a significant amount of trouble. At that time, there were two such occupants, and I did not note which one it was, but I would bet every dollar I have that it's the one still living here.

And then four years ago yesterday, I shared this quote by the wise and wonderful Susie Larson:

 "May God's dreams for you swallow up your unbelief. May you have faith enough to put out your buckets and prepare for rain."

Four years ago yesterday, I was single with no prospects of love, facing the dreaded holiday of love. I was rapidly losing hope that there would ever be someone for me. And who knows - maybe there were other things factoring in on that particular day, too. I don't remember. {And for the sake of my sanity, I'm not going to work very hard at conjuring it up again.}

I'm a person who really hates embarrassment. I suppose we all do, really. But I get embarrassed pretty easily and I hate the red that crawls up my neck into my face and the hot flash that settles over me. I hate when people stare, know, and worst of all: offer pity. Such things don't bother Ryan nearly as much, and sometimes I envy that trait in him!

But because I hate embarrassment so much, I am not great at putting out the buckets of faith to prepare for rain. I worry that if people see all these buckets sitting out and they know I'm waiting, and then nothing happens...

That borders on embarrassing, doesn't it? And then I have to see their looks and feel their pity, and it's just easier to hide my buckets on the back porch and hope some rain somehow sneaks under the awning.

In 2012, as I posted that quote and went about my day, I had no idea that by the end of that same year, I'd be married. That suddenly a rainstorm would hit and God would bring the man, and we would date and get engaged and get married all right in a row. I'm not even sure I saw the cloud that day, but the rain loomed, and not just a sprinkle: a deluge.

So now it's 2016 and Ryan and I still have things we're praying about and having faith to see. Sometimes that wait is discouraging and we get frustrated that things take so stinkin' long. So when I saw these words again yesterday, I considered them a Divine appointment. My details are different, certainly, than four years ago, but the truth of bold faith remains. 

May God do just what Susie said: swallow up my unbelief and fill those faith-buckets with the outpouring of what He has. And in order for that to happen, may I be bold enough to put the buckets in the front yard, right out there where everyone can see them. May I make a bucket list of my own: one comprised of the things I'm believing in bold bucket-toting faith to receive.