We Interrupt This Pinteresting October...

...because it was NOT Pinteresting.

I was a Pinterest fail this month. I think I had 2 inspirations. And that's okay! I made some mediocre waffles and found an idea for a pumpkin carving.

The rest of my pins remain...as Ryan coined last night...peams.

I said, "What's a peam?" He said, "You know. A Pinterest dream. A peam."

THAT completely cracked me up.

Last night I found this most darling pallet art idea. Given that we have 3 spare pallets sitting outside {being BFF's with the Lowe's gives you opportunity for owning multiple pallets}, I decided I wanted to try the pallet art idea.

Ryan was in the kitchen, refilling our coffee cups, and I hollered in, "Hey Baby? Can you help me with something?"

He called back, "Sure! What do you need?"

"Can you teach me how to use a sawl?"

Perhaps it was the use of the term sawl...but he leaned very slowly to the left to peer out the kitchen door and raised one eyebrow.

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

Probably not, but we don't say it out loud.

He carried our coffee cups back into the living room and sat down beside me. He wanted to see my peam.

Source

Trying to wipe off his look of amusement, he said, "So tell me how you're going to do this."

I said, "Well, first you'll teach me how to take the pallets apart. Then I'll measure the pieces. With a ruler. {I think that might have been a wrong term.} Then you'll teach me how to sawl them. {More wrong terms...} And then I'll paint them. Or stain them. Probably paint them. {At this point totally guessing what you can actually do with pallet wood - pulling all my cues from Ryan's facial expressions.} And then..."

My voice started to fade out. I think I may have taken too many wrong terms.

So this is my peam, which may or may not come true and may or may not include a visit to a not-so-local emergency room.

There might be a reason OTHER people make these and sell them...you know...to people like me...who shouldn't play with sawls. 

Be Thankful With Me?

Last year, my November was one of the craziest months of my life. I was in full-fledged wedding planning mode, I was cleaning out my house to make room for Ryan to move his things in, I was continuing a busy pace at work, I was trying not to eat so I could fit into my dress, and probably a hundred other things on the side that I don't even remember.

Know what sort of fell to the wayside?

Being thankful.

Perhaps I should rephrase that. Oh I was thankful. I am actually not sure I was ever more thankful in my life than I was that month. Thankful for dreams come true. Thankful for answers to prayer. Thankful for love. Thankful for a full, rich life.

But I wasn't purposely thankful. I didn't have the time to put toward pausing to look at each area of my life to be thankful for what God had done.

And this year...I want to. This year I want to spend the month of November being intentionally thankful. To pause...even though my life is as crazy busy {different details, same craziness} as it was last year...and push my heart toward gratitude.

To say out loud to people in my life, "Hey...thank you for the investment you made in me."

To read words in Scripture that center my heart around thankfulness.

To tell my Beloved Abba how thankful I am for all He has done - the blessings and the pruning.

To change my thinking so that my mind just settles into thankfulness and allows me to focus on the many, many blessings I have.

To be thankful out loud.

And since I'm a fan of having friends on the journey...I just wondered...would you like to join me? You don't have to answer out loud. No quizzes. No accountability checks. Just an invitation to come along in the thankful journey. I would love it if you accepted.

I'm not going to change the format of the blog for the month of November. It will still be what it always is. But at the end of each day, I'll add a little note at the bottom...a verse and an idea of someone to thank. Maybe it will inspire you to have an intentionally thankful season!

Safe

Some friends of mine are getting married, and the bride went dress shopping yesterday. I thought about her while I worked and remembered my own dress shopping day...and all the other hurried planning we did in our 2 month engagement. I glanced back through the old blogaroo to see what was happening a year ago at this time.

I read through my post on how the wedding wasn't going to look like what I always envisioned it would but also how I loved the story just as it was and would happily trade everything that deviated from my careful script for the reality of being privileged to know this love.

And that made me think about this almost first whole year of marriage. Not the wedding, but the marriage. The thing I dreamed about and planned for and prayed over and tried so hard not to mentally script - so it could come into play just as God intended, not as I manipulated.

And this is what I landed on...and I wanted to share with those of you who are not yet married...as a challenge for you to cultivate this someday, if you do marry. And I wanted to share it with those of you who are married but who might not make this a priority...yet. It's one of the greatest pieces of our marriage, and I would love for you to find it in yours.

Safety.

In many of the books I read before I got married, the authors encouraged the wives to create a safe home where there husbands could dwell. A home where a husband could know that his heart was not under attack. A place where he could speak without being cut down. A place where he could be vulnerable in every way and know he was unconditionally loved.

I guess the fair thing would be to ask Ryan how successful I've been in creating that for him, but today I want to focus on how he has done that for me.

Getting married at 34 meant I had a lot of time to prepare...and I think I used that time well...but it also meant I had a lot of time to become accustomed to being alone - and sometimes being alone meant no one had to see the awkward and the ugly. If I had a bad night, I could have a world-peace-level cry all over the house and the only offended party would be Braeya. If I had a fat day, I could throw on a sweatshirt and no one was the wiser. {Again, except Braeya.}

Being married and having someone sharing every part of my living space with me meant getting vulnerable about those things which have always been private. It meant making a choice about whether I would become a masterful actress and cover the truth with what felt appropriate...or become transparent and let my raw heart be exposed.

It was a scary choice. The only time I'd allowed myself such deep vulnerability before, my heart was hurt...and the scars remained.

And that is where Ryan's grace made all the difference. In this past year, he's seen it all. He's seen the fat days when I'm embarrassed to even look in a mirror. And he shakes his head, kisses my nose, and calls me beautiful. He's seen the ugly cry meltdowns {sometimes over nothing} and pulls me up close to him and holds me there until I have calmed to sniffles. He's seen my unkind spirit and while he has been good to challenge me in adjusting my heart...he has also done so without condemnation.

That safe place? It shines through in our marriage. 

People say we're like old souls. That we seem as though we've always been married. And I love that.

I love the safety net. I don't take it for granted. I've been in places before where it did not exist. I'm grateful he has extended it to me and I pray that he feels the same safety returned from me.

And for you, my friend, if you have a spouse now...make home a safe place. Make your love a safe place. And if you aren't married now, but you someday might be...tuck this one away for that time. It makes all the difference.

My First 5K

Am I the only person who runs a 10K before running a 5K? Just curious.

So a few weeks ago, my friend Julie told me about a 5K happening up at the corn maze I've gone to the last couple of years. She thought Ryan and I might want to run it. And we would have...except he had to work on Saturday. So....I said, Hey Julie!! Why don't WE do the 5K?

And so it was that Saturday morning, I got up way before dawn {with Ryan}...kissed him goodbye and sent him off to work, and drove toward this beautiful sunrise for a lovely fall 5K.

Or at least that was the intent. By the time I actually arrived, this gorgeous sunrise had disappeared into an overcast, cloudy Saturday, with temps in the THIRTIES....and wind like you've never seen.

I knew I'd probably get warm from running, so there was the great debate of how to dress so as not to freeze before and after...yet not overheat during. Oh the running problems.

Julie arrived in her cute little running shirt, running pants, and darling cutesy little running coat. I arrived in running pants {over running capris}, a long sleeved t-shirt {over a regular t-shirt} and my husband's hoodie. I looked like a puffalump!

Julie:

Me:

For me...earmuffs AND a hat. :)

Ready to roll on this race!

Please note that all the pictures you're about to see were taken on my phone...and I did not edit them in any way so you could see the running/photography multitasking madness.

The race took place on a farm/corn maze/pumpkin patch, and every inch of the race was run on terrain. No roads.

Our starting line:

It wasn't a huge race in terms of the amount of people running {first year for it} - so here is the group at the starting line. {There were more behind us. These are the hard core runners.}

 Julie and I were not there to run for time. We were there to run for fun. Neither of us had trained for this one little iota. In fact, I haven't run more than 2 miles in months - and I've only run that a small handful of times this month. We wanted to just enjoy the day. So with the sound of the air horn - we were off!!!

{That's not us. That's the people in front of us.}

We ran across the yard in front of the barn and then down a grassy path beside the corn maze. This picture is super fuzzy because...um...I was RUNNING.

We were headed for that woods way in the back.

A clearer shot, as we got closer:

We ran into the woods, and though the trails were cleared {it's the trail for the hayride, I'm told} - there were still a lot of tree roots around. In fact, I almost fell over the one in the bottom of this picture:

We were thankful for the woods because they provided shelter from that WIND!

We did a couple laps in the woods and then exited back into the wind, which Julie has so kindly demonstrated here:

 We ran all the way down another side of the corn field and then across the main part of the farm/business property.

And then...into the corn maze!

 We were both a bit scared to just surrender to the maze, but they had it well marked and we lapped around a couple of times.

My backside is not my best side, but I wanted to prove I ran in the corn. :)

 And here's the lovely Julie:

And once we were out of the maze...it was back to the start line to be the finish!

 Took this as I was running in:

 My official finishing time was 36:22, which I was THRILLED with...because like I said...I hadn't trained at all, it was freezing cold, it was so windy, and I was running all over uneven ground. I didn't think I'd do nearly that well!

{I finally figured out that my finishing time was earlier than the clock time at the moment of my picture because I started later than the clock did. Sometimes my own brilliance overwhelms me. HA!}

DONE!!!!

After the race, we huddled around a heater in the barn, watched the awards {TOTALLY would have won if there had been an award for most photos taken by a runner during the race} and then headed into town for our brunch reward!

Julie, thanks for doing this with me - fun to have this memory with you!! Ryan, next time you're running with us!! {Or driving an ATV behind us to take funny video.}

The Shafferland Shuffle

* We've been going to Sunday School at our new church since Labor Day weekend and have really enjoyed making new friends. In a church that size, it's hard to find that sort of connection, so we enjoyed another week of learning with our friends. Then, of course, when we came home, it was time for the War of 1812...Luck vs. Manning! Ryan watched diligently and I worked on our Christmas letter. {Yes. It's true.}

* Monday evening we went BACK to the gym for our first weigh-in and another shot at that core workout. In our first weigh-in, Ryan lost .5 pounds and I gained .4.  Isn't that swell?? After we came home, we worked on the bathroom again - this time chipping away all the adhesive that previously held the nasty shower doors in place.

* Tuesday evening, Ryan and I had dinner with my parents...to celebrate my Dad's 81st birthday. We ate at a little local burger place {where none of us had a burger...go figure} and had a TON of laughs sitting around the table together. Ryan and my parents together provide HOURS of entertainment. HOURS. And this is about how it rolls when I say to the parentals, "Hey I'm gonna take your picture."

* Wednesday night when I got home from work, I found a gift waiting for me on my porch! My friend Marie heard me say I did not own black nail polish and really wanted some, so she surprised me with a bottle of my very own. What a great treat! So after we got all done with our workout {I BENCH PRESSED THE WEIGHTLESS BAR ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!!!} I sat down and treated myself to a little mani.

* Thursday. Oh Thursday. Do I even have to relive this day? I had a world-peace-level meltdown for ONE SOLID HOUR at work. It was just one of those days. In the afternoon, I worked on consoling myself with writing interview questions. Creative process, right? Good for the soul! Well it's good for the soul until you crack open a cookbook at 4 p.m. on a gym night! THIS is just torture:

* Friday night, Ryan and I PLANNED to finish the bathroom {a.k.a. put up the surround in the tub}, so we had our traditional weekly date to the Lowe's for supplies.  We had to drive home with the back hatch to his car open because the 2x4's we bought were longer than our vehicle. We didn't get as much work done as we hoped because in the end, he needed the Asphyxiator to go back to Lowe's for plywood, but alas, the alternator is out and therefore its lights don't work. BOOOOOOO.

* Saturday, I ran my first ever 5K. That probably caught you by surprise, right? It was one of those not-really-trained-for events that I just DID - and I will have more for you on that tomorrow. Meanwhile, a photo of me with my running partner, Julie. I'll also mention that this race was run in the FREEZING cold, ridiculous wind...and over terrain, not on a road. I was pretty stinkin' proud of myself.

The Saturday Six.

One.

Source

I read on Facebook last week that my 3rd grade teacher's mom went skydiving. At age 96. For real. She was the oldest person to skydive at Skydive Indianapolis. They posted the picture above on their Twitter Feed.  She may have to be my hero.

Two.

My new phone cover. I am kind of crazy about it. :) It's the little things, right?

Three.

I'm kind obsessed with the show Undercover Boss. And by that, I mean I cry over every single episode. Usually it's just a random tear. Last week it was full on sobs. I. Am. Such. A. Sap.

Four.

Source

I'm somewhat in love with this mirror that the BRILLIANT KariAnne made. I tell you. She never ceases to inspire me in home décor. You've got to read the post to see how much she saved from the "real" price.

Five.

I'm not a mom, but this video reminds me of the underlying truth that we are WAY harder on ourselves in nearly every facet of our lives than those around us are. If you find yourself staring at your shortcomings, watch this and whether it's your marriage, your job, your friendships...whatever...remember that this same exercise probably holds true for you in those places too. Oh. And you might cry.

Six.

Ever heard of cinda b? I hadn't until I started working at the station. They're based in Fort Wayne and make all sorts of bags. They have an annual Factory Outlet Sale that is open to the public where they sell factory seconds and retired patterns. Lynne and I went to it a couple of years ago and had a great time SHOPPING!!! This year it's November 14-16, so if you're in need of a shopping trip...check it out!! 

To the Writers Who Shaped Me...

Last week on the Saturday Six, I mentioned this post by Annie Downs, who encouraged people to think about the authors whose words shaped them...and then thank them.

And it made me think about these people I've never met...people who labored over legal pads, typewriters and computers to sketch out scenes and make characters seem so real that I wanted to friend them in real life. People who fostered my love of words and my deep desire to share them with others in the same way I'd received them through the books.

So today I wanted to say thanks...even though some of them have passed away and others don't have Twitter or Facebook for me to thank.

Janette Oke...I could write a whole post about her! She was a pioneer - maybe even the pioneer of Christian Fiction, and I could not wait to buy every single book the moment it came out. From Janette I learned great vocabulary words that showed up on all kinds of tests at school - and I knew the answers from devouring the books. Her Love Comes Softly books were my favorite, and while I love the movies, I'm a purist for the books. {Side note: I wanted to marry Clare Davis.} I wrote Janette a letter in high school and she wrote me back. I still treasure that letter. Janette, thanks for filling my teens and twenties with pages of adventure. And thanks for pioneering an industry.

Lori Wick...My dad bought me my first Lori Wick books during a family vacation one year and I'd read all of them by the time we got home. Though she hasn't released a book in a long time, her books made me want to pursue writing. And I adored the names of her characters. She named one of her heroes Bracken - and that one was my favorite. Thanks, Lori, for writing so quickly. I was ready for the next book about one day after finishing the last one!

Anne Graham Lotz...Her book Just Give Me Jesus forever changed the way I studied Scripture. We read it in our Sunday School class, and if you were to read through my Bible study journals, you'd see a marked difference in the way I studied....right when I read that book. I love her honesty, her vulnerability, her heart for the Lord, and her deep passion for His Word. Thanks, Anne, for teaching me a new way to study.

Elizabeth George...I couldn't read enough of her books when I was in college and in my twenties. I loved the way she took passages...like Proverbs 31...and made them seem attainable. The woman I am today and the wife I am today are largely because of her influence through her Bible studies and books. Elizabeth, thank you for being my mentor in a book. From five fat files to the value of a ruby, your words have stuck with me and I use them.

Madeleine L'Engle...I took a nonfiction class in college, not because I was the least bit interested in it, but because it was required for my degree. In my mind, nonfiction was made up of boring biographies and history books. I had to read a book and write a report over it by the end of the semester. Become an expertin the book, my professor said. I confessed, somewhat red-faced, that I had only ever read fiction and didn't know what to do with the idea of a nonfiction book. That's when she handed me Madeleine's book Walking on Water. I fell so in love with it...I never wrote fiction again. Madeleine, thank you for opening my eyes to a world I never knew existed.

Shauna Niequist...I just found this gem...and yes, I know I'm behind. But her book Bread and Wine gave me permission to combine the love of words with the love of food and realize just how many memories are made when the two meet. Her book was captivating in every way. I even started my own Shafferland scrapbook of favorite food memories because of what I learned about life and God and relationships and love in this book. Shauna, thanks for showing me a whole new way to capture writing and memories and make sense of life.

Bruce Marchiano...I can't close the list without thanking the man who forever changed the way I view Jesus. Bruce portrayed Jesus in the film The Gospel of Matthew, and he wrote about his utter life change as a result of that role. Bruce learned that Jesus was saturated with grace, love, and laughter - and his writing showed me that for the first time. I've written Bruce to thank him - and I even had the privilege of interviewing him on the air last year. But I still say thank you, Bruce, for showing me aspects of Jesus I'd never realized before. Always grateful.

There are many more. People who took time to write and through their words I was challenged, changed, entertained, pushed to deep thought - and much more. I am shaped by their words and I am thankful.

A Day of Nonsense with the Shaffers

Man, after yesterday's post, I feel like I have nothing profound left in my brain. Thank you for your kind words; I have a near panic attack every time I put my naked heart on the blog. Thanks for your grace. :)

So today, I thought I'd go to the complete OPPOSITE end of the spectrum. I like to think of this as completely useless information that will only benefit you if you are on some truly weird game show with a Shafferland category.

And because y'all like to get your Ryan fix whenever you can, we'll do this post together. A little Shafferness.

Here are the questions of the day:

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
2. Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from the hotel?
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or untucked?
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign?
5. Do you like to use Post-It Notes?

And here are our answers:




Okay so now it's your turn. We told your our quirks - now we want to know yours!! What are your answers?

I Still Believe

I told you yesterday that I went to the Jeremy Camp concert this past weekend. And while the length of that post might leave you amazed that I have more to say...I have more to say.

If you don't know Jeremy's story - his first wife died of cancer just a few months after they were married. He has since married again and has three children, but he still tells about the pain he went through, losing his young wife so soon after marrying her.

And out of that pain was born this song:



He sang this song Saturday night, and as I leaned against the wall, listening, I really focused on the words:

I still believe in Your faithfulness...I still believe in Your truth...I still believe in Your Holy Word. Even when I don't see, I still believe.

I closed my eyes and could see...words from my journal from the desert days:

Why are you asking this of him? Of me? What have we done that warrants this? It feels like punishment. I know, I know. The Lord disciplines those He loves. But oh, Jesus. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. 

To write my heart's thoughts right now, Lord, even to You...is gut-wrenching. The ache and misery I feel even committing these words to paper is more than I feel I can take. One month ago, he told me he loved me. And today, silence. Oh Jesus. Precious Jesus. Hold me now. Meet me in this pit of anguish. 

Fill me, Jesus. I cling to You now. I miss my Isaac terribly. Long to talk with him. Long to be comforted. My heart is overwhelmed by a combination of grief and hope. Restore life where Satan has destroyed it. Give me joy and peace. I believe. Help Thou my unbelief. Help me to have childlike faith. How do I do this? How do I live with such an ache? How do I move past the hurt and into life again? How, my Jesus?

Help me to be faithful. Help me to hang in here with You. Learn YOUR lessons. YOUR love. God, my heart breaks. Why doesn't my love want me? Why does he push me away? Why doesn't he come to claim me? Help me. I call this to mind and therefore I have hope. Oh Jesus. Be big.

I opened my Bible to Isaiah 35: "The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy...strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with weak hearts: 'Be strong and do not fear. Your God will come. He will come with a vengeance; with divine retribution, He will come to save you...' Oh, Jesus, do it!!!

I have dozens of pages from my journal from those desert months - when love left me - that read just like the ones above. Days when I couldn't breathe because I hurt so deeply. When it seemed life would never be okay again.

Days when my faith seemed to drown in doubts, but each time I rose to the surface, I said to my Jesus, I choose You!

I still believe.

Even when I don't see. I still believe. 

And so it was, that night at the concert, with Jeremy singing that song from the very depths of his soul on the stage, I leaned back, tears falling from my eyes, and found myself caught up in Ryan's strong arms.

The love God sent to redeem me was there. Right there behind me with strong arms and a soft kiss against my cheek.

God had indeed come with a vengeance and with divine retribution to save me. Not in the way I prayed He would.

In a way far greater than I could ask or imagine.

Jeremy Camp Concert

This past Saturday night, Ryan and I ventured to Fort Wayne to work the Jeremy Camp concert. I'd seen Jeremy in concert before - at the E-Women conference. But this was my first time to see him in concert by himself.

Gorgeous day for a drive...

Prior to the show, we went to the Meet and Greet with Jeremy and his band. Y'all, I have to tell you - there are some artists who come in and deliver a great show, but they are kind of guarded when you talk to them. Jeremy is not one of those. Probably one of my favorite Meet and Greets ever. Really sweet spirit and willingness to engage in conversation...and share with the people.  And not just Jeremy...the whole band was that way.

After the Meet and Greet, we actually got to have our picture taken with him - and I got a high five from him for carrying the station banner into the hallway. {This concludes the embarrassing fan report.}

Lynne and I worked this concert together...first one we've worked together in just about 2 years!

And of course, I had the most handsome date in the whole building!!

{I adore it that he's willing to put on his station shirt and jump right in to work with the rest of us. Husband of the year award!}


Lynne and I went on stage with Ron before the concert. This is how we amuse ourselves while we wait our turn:

Then we were good and professional:

Threw some frisbees. {badly.}

Then it was time for the concert to get underway! The opening group was Jasper Stone - a praise team from Plymouth Wesleyan Church in Plymouth, Indiana. They were powerhouses!!

And then Adam Cappa played a few songs. We'd seen him at the Mercy Me concert a few months ago - really down-to-earth and personable guy. Good to hear him again!

And then Jeremy Camp took the stage! Here are some of the pictures I took throughout the evening:

 {Hey lookie here! Caught a pic of the face of the guy on the right! They told us in the Meet and Greet that his hair would always be over his face while he was playing, and they were right! Except right here.}

 Reckless: Amazing song.

 Does he have a gym on his bus? Impressive that he can work out so much while traveling so much!

 Gotta tell you - this man's heart for the Lord is contagious.

 He shared his testimony. Talk about redemption. God has worked in huge ways.

 Even though it was a performance, it was so much more. It was worship.

 And he can SING. Just as good in person as he is on the radio. That's a gift.

 This sweet lady was in the back row and she was having some CHURCH back there. I loved seeing her hand raised the whole time.

 He had the crowd on its feet!

 Just so happened that Jeremy's drummer had a birthday the day of the concert. So we had a brief break for a birthday party. They brought him a cake and a sash....

 And a bit of a silly string shower.

 And the silly string shower turned into a bit of a competition!

 Busted!!

 Jeremy's from Lafayette, Indiana, so a bunch of his family members came to the concert. {His little nephew crawled up on the stage and asked for cake. PRECIOUS!!!} And then Jeremy did a song together with his dad, who TORE IT UP on the harmonica.

Jeremy Camp, you are a class act and an amazing witness. Thanks for a great night of worship!