It's That Time of Year Again....

And thankfully I no longer have to attach "FAFSA time" to that phrase. Oh I do not miss those days!!

Y'all, Easter is THIS MONTH. THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And though I was so fortunate to find my wedding dress in the second dress I tried on - and had purchased it inside of 45 minutes  - I have a feeling I will NOT be so fortunate when it comes to Easter dress shopping. The annual hair-pulling event is about to resurface.....

So you wanna help? I haven't tried anything on yet, but I found a few online that seem like contenders, so I thought I'd get your input...

All these came from Penneys...I found a few online at Old Navy that looked interesting, but alas, they wouldn't save for me, so I can't ask you about those.

Okay, so here's Contender #1.

A few years ago I would have poo-poohed this print, declaring it not even remotely Eastery enough, but I've relaxed my standards. {Read: been forced into fashion submission by sheer lack of approved prints.} I do like it that this one is blue - because my wedding jewelry would fit nicely with it, thus saving me more money. I also like it that it's not overly hoochy, making it church appropriate. I would also like her waistline. {Hey. A girl can dream.}

 Contender #2:

I like the color, which is appropriately Eastery...and the belt is nice and tiny, which I also like. {Curvy girls struggle with the wide belts. Wide on wide = potential disaster.} It's also just fun and flowy.

 Contender #3:

I do not own a green dress, so this would be a fun change. I like it that it's simple without being boring.

 Contender #4:

Love the color, and love the side drape. Learned on my wedding dress that the side drape is my friend. The illusion does wonders. I'm typically not a ruffle and bow girl, but this isn't overdone, in my opinion.

Since someone always asks - yes, I know they're all sleeveless and yes I know it could be cold on Easter. But I'm the queen of the hot flash, so sleeveless is my friend.

Thoughts? Suggestions you've found that you think I should know about? Tell me, tell me!

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Well, you already read the details about it, but last Sunday, I had that beautiful encounter with God during worship team practice...

...and then Ryan surprised me with a song during the morning service. It was a great start to the day! We enjoyed the rest of our day together...always trying to squeeze in as much rest as we can before the week starts again!

* Monday I made the horrifying discovery, when I got to work, that my phone charger was at home. This has never happened to me! I had visions of driving around town during lunch just to charge the phone, when Lynne swooped in to save the day with her handy dandy Halo charger! Have you ever seen these? They are chargers that don't need an outlet. Oh yes. I'm getting one of THOSE.

* Tuesday was an eventful day! We had a bit of an ice storm in Fort Wayne and the station tower signal stopped working during Mid-Morning! Nothing like dead air while you're running the board! They eventually got it up and running again! And that evening, as you saw, I rushed around to make dinner for Ryan and may or may not have preheated an oven that was serving as a cabinet at the time. Oh the funny things you don't think about when you mesh lives!

* Wednesday we were rumored to get more snow, so I drove Ryan's car to work again...and wouldn't you know it...it didn't do anything bad! But there was a really cool pattern on the sunroof after the rain!

We spent the evening doing an inventory of all the reception stuff - gathering everything into one room - trying to get all our ducks in a row. You have no idea how many ducks it takes to make a reception!!!

* Thursday evening I spent three hours in the salon chair getting a hair overhaul. Unfortunately I looked so wilty after it was over that I'm not even going to bother showing you the after picture. :) But when I say overhaul...I mean OVERHAUL. Cut, color, thinning, layers, the works! When I got home, I was excited to find our new stone had arrived...for our reception...

* Friday was a long day...with some really hard moments that I don't want to think about, so I won't talk about them. :) Ryan and I spent the evening IN the kitchen...cooking ahead for coming events. I love cooking with him!! And while this may LOOK like a pile of potatoes...it's actually a pile of stones, for our guest book...for the reception. We have to wash them, yet, but we have 'em!!

* And yesterday was our 3 month anniversary!! We celebrated by spending the entire day painting at Ryan's house and shopping for reception food. BUT we did manage to squeeze in a treat of a dinner together at Olive Garden. We tried one of their froofy coffees for our dessert:

Even though we mostly did chores, I loved our anniversary. :) He makes every day special just by being part of it.

Timing is Everything.

Today is our three month anniversary.

Three months of a lifetime of dreams coming true. Three months of wonderful. Three months of learning. Three months of discovery. Three months of adjusting. Three months of love.

And as I mentioned yesterday, life is pretty busy right now with all the other tasks we're tackling.

This would be why I said, Really, God!!!! when a writing idea poured into my head. And by poured, I mean it smacked me in the head one Sunday morning as I sat in my standard perch during worship practice. I grabbed my journal and started writing...just ideas scribbled in not-my-best penmanship, but scribbled nonetheless so they'll be there when I have time to sit and constructively create.

And it seems that at each turn, the ideas grow and develop...and I'm eager...so eager to write.

But when? And why now? Why in the busiest season? Why as I'm trying to learn how to be a wife? Why as I'm struggling to work in normal stuff like workouts and devo time? Why not later, when we've moved and settled and rediscover what it's like to lounge in a lawn chair and wrap our hands around a coffee cup?

Yesterday I read this blog post by Holley Gerth...about her new book. Her book that she introduced as an 8 ounce, 216 page baby girl. Her book that she's as proud of...from conception to birth...as any Mama would be of a pudgy cheeked cutie.

And I thought about that for a while. I get what it's like to "parent" my writing. I feel the same passion about writing that I hear my parent-friends speaking about when they share Mom-talk. I'm always pouring in and feel that feisty defense rising up in me whenever someone challenges it. {Not to say I'm always right...but you know that mama-bear syndrome...I feel it toward my words.}

As I walked through the station, God reminded me of another baby. One born just under 35 years ago....at a most inopportune time. One whose presence made the parents say Really, God? Now????

That was me.

Several years ago, God impressed on my heart this phrase about my life: More Than an Interruption: God's Intention. That's me. I may have been an interruption, but I was also a very distinct, purposeful intention at the hand of God.


And so it is with these ideas rolling around in my head.

 The timing may feel less than ideal to this newlywed...this birthing of a project...but it's more than an interruption. It's God's intention.

And I trust that.

SSMT: Verse 5

I'm worn out. Absolutely, certifiably, worn out. Earlier this week I had to cry just to let the stress escape from somewhere. It seemed best to let it leak out through my eyes before my head exploded into a million, tiny, irretrievable pieces.

Life isn't bad, you know. In fact, it's very good. I'm thankful beyond measure for my job, my husband, my health, our home {you get the idea}.

But that doesn't mean life's a coffee-sipping party.

* There's the issue of my dress being tight just before our reception.

* There's the fact that our house is overrun with reception supplies we've gathered from the far reaches of the earth and I'm trying to keep it straight in inventory and make sure we have everything we need.

* There's the fact that about 80% of the reception details have not gone as originally planned, forcing the OCD queen to make 2nd, 3rd, and 50th alternate plans.

* There's the unknown of Ryan's job...trying to decide what is best about where to look and when.

* There's the scurrying to finish what we've started at his old house so we can prepare to sell it.

* There's trying to squeeze in just plain old LIFE around all that, when most days I can't even decide what time of day I want to do my quiet time or my workout.

* And on top of ALL that, guess when a writing inspiration hit me? Now.

So many things. So many good things. And yet the idea of a nap is just so inspiring.

Most days as I drive to work, I cry out to the Lord, Help me. Help me be the wife You made me to be. Help me to be the support Ryan needs. Help me to find the strength to get through this day and do all things well. Help me to stand up when people try to push me down. Help me to think through all the details of the reception and not miss anything. Help me to be able to help Ryan at the house...and when I'm there...to be all there and not be 100 other places in my head. Help me not to worry about the details of the job and the house but just to trust that You'll work it out.

And that's when He reminds me of the writing project and what I'm already learning in it. And how this is how He's choosing to teach me. How He's making it a visual for me.

So this is my verse for this round....one I need to hold close to my heart.

The Lord is my strength and my shield,

in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;

my heart exults, and with my song

I give thanks to Him.

~ Psalm 28:7 ~

 My strength comes not from my time management or because I'm amazing in any way but from HIM. My trust rests not in logic or grasping hope, but in HIM. And my job is just to ask, receive, praise and thank. 

A Pinteresting February

February Printable

Source: incourage.me via Rebekah on Pinterest

I found this printable through the (In)Courage blog right at the beginning of February and I LOVED it. I love the soft Scripture printed in the background and the bright red message...perfect. I printed it out and it stayed in our frame for the month!


Buffalo Chicken and Buffalo Mac n Cheese

Source: 5dollardinners.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

Source: pearls-handcuffs-happyhour.blogspot.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

 
 Well, due to my contracting "the crud" during the weekend of the Super Bowl, Ryan and I elected not to attend any of the parties we'd been invited to, and instead, we stayed home and had our own party. {One in which I was in the fetal position before the end of the night in actual tears because I felt so awful.} We didn't let staying home keep us from enjoying food, though! We used the two recipes above as springboards to make our own meal! Ryan found a bag of frozen skinless boneless chicken bites and he put them in a crock pot with buffalo sauce and let them cook all day - on high until we came home from church and then on low/warm until dinner. So good and so easy! And while I someday want to try the mac n cheese recipe above with the chicken in it as it calls for - we omitted the chicken this time since we were having it in the crock pot. We just did regular buffalo mac n cheese. I do believe this is on Ryan's new fave list and we'll be making it many times over!

Valentine's Gifts
I used several ideas from Pinterest to give Ryan his countdown to Valentine's  Day presents. You can go here to see my versions of these, but here were my original inspirations:

 

Source: lilluna.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I used this one for the Riesens only...and I wrote my own note...didn't use the printable.

Source: shanty-2-chic.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I used the kisses inspiration to leave him a gift about how much I love his kisses...but I wrote my own note.

Source: via Rebekah on Pinterest

This was another of my gift ideas for Ryan - made my own note.

Source: iloveitallwithmonikawright.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

Another of my inspirations!!! Just handwrote my note.

Source: familyfun.go.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I used black Sharpie fine point pens instead of a pencil, because Ryan loves pens!

Source: familyfun.go.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I didn't roll the message around the Rolos, but otherwise I followed this one pretty exactly!

Source: mommybydaycrafterbynight.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

The "I chews you..." and the "I heart you" and the "I love you more than chocolate were all inspired by ideas from this pin...if you click back to the original source.

Valentine Chutes and Ladders

Source: moresisterstuff.blogspot.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I needed one more gift idea for Ryan for Valentine's Day, when I saw this one. It's the married folks' version of Chutes and Ladders. You just buy the game and then add some fun to the unused squares. :) Loved it!!!

Produce Holder
 

Source: store.willowhouse.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

Counter space at our house is at a bit of a premium...so I'm always looking for creative ways to store things without using the counter. Ryan and I eat a lot of apples and bananas, and they'd been taking up residence in a too-small mixing bowl. Then I saw this pin. I didn't want to go buy a magazine rack, but I had a really similar looking wire wall basket that I bought years ago at a Homemaker's Idea party. I wasn't using it for anything - so it was just taking up floor space in a spare room. We hung it up in the kitchen and it is PERFECT for our apples and bananas!

Buckeye Brownies
 

 
 

Source: cafescrapper-scrapsoflife.blogspot.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I made these for our Valentine's Day meal and OH MY WORD. They are absolutely heavenly. I would make these again and again and again. It starts with a standard brownie mix {prepared according to directions} on the bottom and then there's a super creamy peanut butter layer in the middle and a soft chocolate top. Heavenly. MAKE THESE. And then prepare to work out a lot! :)

 Shredded Chicken
 

Source: simplyhealthyfam.blogspot.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

I will admit....I was skeptical about this one! I saw this pin that said you could use your Kitchen Aid to shred chicken. REALLY!?!?!?!? So one night, when Ryan and I were making chicken quesadillas, we decided to give it a shot. Y'all, IT COMPLETELY WORKS. Toss your warm chicken (we boiled ours to cook it) in there with that paddle attachment...and BINGO. Shredded. Sign. Me. Up.

Things They Should Cover in Premarital Counseling

Ryan and I did premarital counseling at the request of my brother-in-law, who married us. Since Jeff was so far away, our pastor met with us, and he did a great job of covering all the important topics. Money, conflict, household chores, sex...all the stuff they tell you will make or break a marriage.

Here's one topic we've found SHOULD have been covered in counseling...that was not.

Kitchen storage.

Let me paint a l'il picture for you, okay?

At Ryan's old house, he had an oven crafted circa...the beginning of ovens. Okay so not quite that old. But it was definitely a vintage piece. I tried to find a picture online so you could get an idea...but I failed. Anyway. The oven unit was on top - much like microwaves over ovens of today. It had a large glass door that wasn't darkened in any way.

** Update! He took a picture for me so you can see it:

Okay, back to the story. To conserve open counter space, he had a habit of storing things in the oven when not in use. Say, for example, he baked a cake. Rather than cluttering up the counter with the 9x13, he'd just put it in the oven and get it out when it was time to eat more cake.

At my house, I have an oven crafted circa...the 80's. It's a standard oven...with a black door that has no window on it at all. And while my house doesn't abound with counter space, I've always kept my cakes on the counter because...well...I like them there where I can see them.

{Or because I never thought to store them in the oven.}

So here's what happens when an oven storer and a counter storer marry without proper premarital counseling in this department:

 

Being the eager-to-please-her-hungry-husband-after-his-workout wife that I am, I scurried around the kitchen last night to make Chicken in a Garden. I multitasked...talking to my mom on the phone...catching up on DVR'd shows...putting water on to boil the chicken...rolling out the pie crust for the bottom...all while preheating the oven...

...that, of course, housed the last three cupcakes we made last week.

The good news is that once it cooled, the plastic peeled right off and the 9x13 is no worse for the wear.

The bad news is, we're down to one 9x13 with a lid. And we bake A LOT.

So now we're in self-therapy to fix this clashing of habits. I hold to my friend Joseph Jones' theory: Just because it has a door does not make it a closet.

Nevertheless, I am determined to prove that this old dog CAN learn new tricks. Therefore our oven door now bears this warning, inspired by my friend Molly, who suggested such a thing:

Oven: 2. Bekah: 0. {Oh yes. It happened once before, too.}

Slow Down

Funny to me how people think that because Ryan and I don't have kids, we have unimaginable amounts of time to sit around and do nothing.

And we do have time...when we're not working, or commuting, or working out, or cleaning, or doing laundry, or cooking, or paying bills, or searching for jobs, or putting together our reception, or looking for houses, or trying to sell the ones we have. Once all those things are done every day, we so enjoy the 52 seconds of down time we have.

Saturday we had a carefully scripted plan - as we always do. We got up at six, Ryan got ready for work, and I settled in with my "me time" of scrapping and Downton Abbey, season 2. When he came home from work, we planned to attack {with a vengeance} the room with all our junk in it...the room with the constantly closed door because of said junk.

But he texted partway through the day and said he wouldn't be home as early as he thought because they were swamped. So I did some laundry...and emptied the dishwasher...and took out the trash...and got ready...and did some more Downton watching...and reception work...and watched the time tick away.

By the time he arrived home, it was almost dinner time. And neither of us felt a mad cleaning and organizing rush coming on. Nor did we have a clue what we wanted for dinner.

So we went to plan B. Dinner out. A leisurely meal at IHOP...during which we dreamed up our meal plans for the coming week and made our grocery list. And then we wandered through Hobby Lobby for a while, sniffing out treasures. {Okay. I was sniffing. He was following along like a good husband.} And then we made our way through the grocery list.

It was somewhere along the cereal aisle of Meijer that Ryan stopped the cart and put his arms around me and said, "You know what we're going to do? We're going to go home, put in a movie, pop some popcorn and just RELAX."

I remember days like that. Happened a lot when we were dating. When we just sat without a care in the world, ignoring laundry and other chores in favor of REST. Those days appear to be...well...a distant memory.

But we did it. We came home, put the groceries away, lit a bunch of candles, popped popcorn, made coffee {you knew that one was coming}, and snuggled in to watch a movie.

I needed that. I needed NOTHING for a night. I needed to sit and rest and laugh at a silly movie and know that the closed door to the junk room could stay closed another day - or week, even - and what was important was that for one night, my heart could rest. My heart could enjoy the beauty of a fireplace and candles and quiet.

I say all of this not to tell you a sappy Shafferland tale, but to say to you...choose a minute of rest. Kids or no kids, we are all far too busy for our own good. Take a night, trash the scripted plan and just REST.

It's beautiful.

Cherish it.

Morning Has Broken

Yesterday morning, I sat in the front pew of our sanctuary, scribbling in my journal while the worship team practiced on the platform. Now and then I'd glance up and swap smiles and eyebrow raises with Ryan...and then back to journaling I'd go.
 
During one of my forward glances, I caught the fiery glow of the sun crashing through the stained glass window behind the organ. I love it when the sun bursts through that window, reminding me of His presence right there with us. Worship songs washed over me and I sat in prayer, savoring the moments.

Church began and I sat alone in my pew while Ryan and the praise team sang...and after the first couple of songs, I noticed Ryan was still holding the microphone. He began to speak and I thought, Well that's a nice surprise. I didn't know he was doing the call to worship today.

He talked about our story and how so many of you here on the blog have left comments about how it's given you a measure of hope. He talked about how on Mid-Morning this year, we're focusing on the theme of how God writes our story...and how we all have a story.

And then he talked about a little song...one I've written about before here and here. Josh Wilson's song Before the Morning. He talked about how it had ministered to both of us in our respective places of hurt.

And then he sang it. 

I had no idea. I had no clue he was singing a special in church and that it would be just for me - was...well...it was the first time anyone has done that for me before. 

I sat in my pew, squeezed my eyes shut to hold back tears, and listened to him...and I remembered the day I first heard it.

Memorial Day weekend, 2010, while I was in the car with my friend Rachel, driving back home after a strawberry shortcake at Ivanhoe's. My desert was in full swing and I could barely breathe. I knew when she dropped me off at home, I was stuck there for three long, torturous days. Most of my friends had left town for the holiday and Isaac, the one man I loved more than anything, had planned to introduce me to his family that weekend, but instead he told me he wasn't ready, and I should stay home.

So I did. I stayed home and felt the searing pain of his rejection...his decision to hide me from his family...and I had little hope in my heart that the words of Josh's song were true. That I would ever forget the pain and that morning would ever come. And in that relationship, morning never did come. Isaac walked away, and I thought I'd never be loved again. But then God brought Ryan...

...And yesterday morning I sat in a pew, not only hearing the words of the song, but hearing them from the lips of my own husband specifically dedicated to me in front of an entire congregation of people. God's redemption of my pain showed up yet again...taking away the shame of being hidden and replaced with the healing of being publicly acknowledged and chosen.

Maybe you're where I was on Memorial Day weekend, 2010. Maybe you're wondering if the pain that you've been feeling could possibly be the hurt before the healing. If healing really will ever come.

Sweet friend, it really is the dark before the morning.

And when morning comes - in whatever way it comes for you - and your story will look different from ours -

It will be two things.

Unmistakable

and

Magnificent.

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday, we wrapped up our time at the marriage conference, with an amazing worship service. I still can't get over how much I loved that! We came home and settled into real life again, which included a trip to the grocery store. We actually love grocery shopping together so much that we both hate going alone. It's more fun together! When we came home, we hung up our latest Pinterest inspired thing...a wire wall basket to hold fruit!

* Monday morning, both of us noticed as we drove to work that seemingly all of the sudden - it's light out when we leave for work! That must have happened underneath all the overcast yuck of last week. OH how I love leaving for work in something other than pitch black. Isn't this GORGEOUS???

That night we took our little road trip in Old Trusty to pick up our new-to-us elliptical from our friends Jon and Julie!

* And Tuesday I got to USE our new-to-us elliptical for the first time. It runs like a dream and is such a sweet machine in comparison to the one I used to have {that died an ugly death ever so randomly one day}. Love the opportunity to work out at home doing something OTHER than a DVD.

* Wednesday night I tried on my wedding dress just to make sure we were okay before the reception. MAMA!!! That sucker was WAY tighter than it was on our wedding day. Want to know how amused I was? You can guess. So I'm on a strict salad diet until the reception...but I so loved seeing the dress again - and my VEIL!!!

* Thursday morning I drove straight to the BP for my salad. I know - weird, right? They make THE BEST salads there. For just over $5.00, I got a salad that I will get 3 meals out of...and it has broccoli, cauliflower, cucumbers, radishes, onion, celery, tomatoes, carrots, cheese, and meat. That is not a bad gig!!! At least it makes the thing flavorful.

* Friday morning, my one-hour commute turned into a two-hour commute, thankyouverymuchwintrymix!!! I was thankful I left home 2 hours early so I wasn't late...but getting up at 4:30 for work STINKS!! Friday night, Ryan and I went to Chili's for dinner, along with a couple of his friends that I'd never really gotten to know before. We had a great time - and I was a good, good girl and ate from the good-for-you menu!

* Saturday, Ryan had to work most of the day, so I stayed home {and in bed a good chunk of the morning, but don't tell} and scrapbooked...and worked on reception stuff...and watched almost all of season 2 of Downton Abbey. GASP!

Then, once Ryan got home, we scrapped our initial plans of cleaning and instead went to IHOP for dinner {where I ate from the good menu AGAIN!} and on our grocery shopping date and then we came home and just relaxed on the couch to watch a movie and eat popcorn. We sorely needed a "nothing" night and I'm so glad we took one!

Things I Love

Whew...thanks for hanging in there with me yesterday. I had way too much {useless} information filtering through my head...and it had to escape somehow. Apparently the blog was the way. It's probably not nice of me to use you that way, is it?

Next week, Ryan and I will celebrate 3 months of marriage, and I have people who ask me how I like this whole married life thing. LOVE IT, thankyouverymuch! And so I shall say some of my favorite things about life with Ryan.

* I love having someone to share evenings with. I was pretty accustomed to life at home alone - but it got terribly lonely. And adding activities didn't subtract from the loneliness. Sometimes the activities helped me stay busy enough that the sting didn't hurt quite so much, but the ache was still there. It's nice to come home and know that he's there to laugh with...eat dinner with...talk to...cry on...{that would NEVER happen}...and sometimes just to sit beside. It's lovely. And I don't take it for granted.

* He balances me. After a disastrous encounter with trying on my wedding dress again this week, I'm living the salad and water life until our reception...and I take those things awfully seriously. On the first day of salad-ville, he came in the door for dinner and said, "We should make cupcakes." I just kind of looked at him and he said, "There's no reason why you can't have a cupcake now and then." And it was good for me. It was good for me to not be so salad-driven that I couldn't enjoy one little cupcake. {And learn to only have ONE little cupcake.} I appreciate him for that.

* He makes up words and owns them. A few weeks ago, we were having a conversation and something annoyed him...and he said, "That betroths me." I stopped, looked at him and said "What??" He repeated it and I just giggled. "Do you know what betroth means?" Undaunted, he said, "Well, when I say it, it means annoyed." I told him it really had to do with engagement, but he would not be swayed. It has now become our word for annoyed... "Oh that betroths me." It actually does make a person feel better to say it. I've got some of my work buds saying it now, and my goal is to use it so regularly that everyone knows that betroth is just another word for annoy. And what I love most of all is that in the face of using the wrong word, he didn't care - he just made it the right word!

* Life is just sweeter. He spoils me and I enjoy it because I let him do it. I spoil him {though probably not as often as I should} and he enjoys it and lets me do it. I thoroughly enjoy time spent with him and it really betroths me when we have to be apart. :) I can't believe this blessing in my life - still! - and am just so grateful for each day we have.

Random

Today's post brought to you by the state of utter chaos in Bekah's head. My apologies.

* Took this photo on the way to work the other day. I ADORE watching the sunrise on the way to work. Commuting in the dark STINKS!!

* I h.a.t.e. my hair right now. HATE it. The problems are too many to name, so I'll start at the top: it is in such dire need of color that I pretty much look like Aunt Bee from Mayberry. It needs dead ends cut off. It needs layers. It needs bangs. It needs thinned. It needs HELP. I have a hair appointment in one week. Surely, oh SURELY it will look better one week from this moment.

* I feel there should be some rule {even if unwritten} that states no one should discuss TV shows in a public forum until at least 24 hours after they air. I understand that I am now 2 full seasons behind on Downton Abbey and I really deserve anything I get in reading spoilers. {Like the one I saw in People magazine last week.} But whatever happened Sunday night {and do NOT tell me more than what I might already know...} was all over Facebook and Twitter Monday morning. Even people who are caught up might be a day behind on TV...let them have their chance! {Stepping off soapbox now.}

* I adore working with Lynne Ford. She makes coming to work a delight - every. single. day. Even when she's calling me delightfully dorky and laughing at with me...she is so much fun. After eleven years of math...she is certainly a reward.

* This book is huh-larious. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a book so thoroughly. It's called Sparkly Green Earrings and it's by Melanie Shankle, who blogs under the name Big Mama. I have no idea why I've not been reading her blog lo these many years, but she is blessed funny and I think in real life, she'd be a great neighbor.

* And that is all I've got in my head. I'm kicked back watching Alf, guarding my decorative basket from Braeya's watchful eye {as she mistakenly thinks it's her new toy}, and wondering how much of this wintry mix will actually show up today - and how much of it will be on my commute.

GULP!

Trucks n Stuff

I love trucks. It's one of those weird, seriously, Bekah???? random facts about me.

So you can imagine my joy when my little 3rd grade ears heard my dad announce he was getting a truck. OH the vision in my head.

What he brought home was a 1976 two tone green Ford monstrosity of a vehicle that I lovingly named The Pickle.

Years later he declared it was time for an upgrade. I was ecstatic. FINALLY. A real truck. Until he rattled into the driveway with the 1978 truck I dubbed {for obvious reasons} The Raspberry. It was a fine piece of machinery, what with its gun rack and NRA sticker in the back window. {Those of you who know my Dad are laughing right now. Please continue. It's warranted.}

Ryan has a truck.

My handsome hunk of a husband has a truck. Oh be still my beating heart.

Except there's no need. I think the beating heart of the truck has already been stilled.

Old Trusty. {I misheard the first time. I thought he said Old Rusty.}

One HUGE selling point about Old Trusty {OT, from here on} is that he's SO much newer than the Pickle and the Raspberry. OT is an '85 Chevy S10 with scads of character.

Take a read:

* When you sit in the cab, you could just swear the exhaust pipe is feeding directly in behind your seat. I {cough, cough} mentioned that perhaps {cough, cough} it was a bit strong {something to say for the girl who thinks Sharpie should make a candle...} and Ryan answered, "I don't know what you're talking about!" {As he simultaneously rolled down the window for some fresh air.} {In February.}

* As we backed out of the driveway, I heard the BEEP BEEP BEEP ala trash trucks....oh yes. OT has a backup beep. WATCH OUT, BABY! HERE COME THE SHAFFERS!!

* He turned on the windshield wipers and it was as though a jar of Vaseline had descended upon the glass as the wipers skidded across.

* As we went down the interstate at 80 miles an hour...{that's not in print if you're a cop reading this}...the hood teetered left to right at an alarming rate. I asked if this should worry me, and he said, "ehhhhh, never been right since the T-bone." {Not a steak.}

* The headlights, also victims of the T-bone, are cross-eyed.

* The gas gauge, allegedly, never registers more than 1/4 of a tank, even when completely full.

* The driver's side door requires a slam of Richter-scale proportion just to be sure it stays closed.

I am sure I have no idea why this was not the vehicle he drove to pick me up for our first date.

And I'm also sure my destiny in life is never to have a "real truck." Just fruit trucks and my BFF...OT.

Secret Boldness

If you look to the left of my blog, you'll see my theme verse for 2013...laid upon my heart by the Lord before the year ever began.

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

~ Psalm 51:6 ~

I love many things about this verse, but one thing I love most of all is the idea of the secret heart. I love the way God and I share our time together. Lately my devo time takes place first thing in the morning. Ryan brings me a cup of coffee and puts it on the bedside table, kisses my head, and disappears so I can crack open my Bible, devo book, journal and laptop...and I disappear for even just those few minutes, into the secret place with my Beloved. He teaches me and breathes truth and wisdom into my heart.

I love it. It's picturesque. {Well. I am not picturesque at that hour with wild bedhead, enveloped in my obnoxious pink bathrobe...but the scene is picturesque.}

The fireplace glows, the coffee steams, and I snuggle my cold legs under the fleece sheets and read. And write. And learn.

And sometimes He speaks to me in church...just the two of us snuggled into the pew, His Divine wisdom pushed softly into my mind. Sometimes He speaks as I sit beside water, listening to waves lapping...or as I drive with only the roar of the wheels under me...

The secret place. The secret heart. The quietness and serenity of the two of us.

My verse this time is about as opposite as it can be:

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

~ Hebrews 4:16 ~

Let me tell you the things that make me squirm about this verse. With confidence. Draw near. 

Other versions of this verse say "come boldly before the throne." That makes me squirm too. I'm not really a bold sort of girl. I am much more comfortable cuddled in the sheets, sipping coffee and journaling the heart whispers.

But there comes a time when I have to learn to take what I've been taught in the secret place, and I have to saturate my soul with it so I can, with confidence, stand up and walk into the battle to fight the thing.

Big. Gulp.

This weekend, while at the marriage retreat, God uncovered a portion of my heart where I would so much rather stay in that secret place. Hide under the covers and let God soothe my soul. But what I need to do is wrap myself in confidence and march forward. 

A couple of days ago, after my devotions, I tiptoed into the living room, sporting my super cute pink bathrobe and slid onto the ottoman in front of Ryan. We pressed our foreheads together and he encouraged me so lovingly to embrace truth and be confident in the place God has given me...and I whispered I'd rather hide and stop fighting. And yet I knew, with his nose rubbing against mine, that he spoke truth.

There comes a day when what's learned in secret has to stand tall and walk boldly forward. And uncomfortable as it may be, this is my time to learn.

Marriage Retreat: Not the Movie {Take 2}

Saturday morning, while we were at the marriage retreat, Ryan got his first taste of ugly, decaffeinated morning Bekah. We didn't have coffee at the hotel and our search for a McDonald's in walking distance of the hotel began as a Siri-induced failure in some biting wind and cold. It wasn't pretty and I felt horrible. And so began the challenging portion of the weekend.

We sat in more sessions with Gary Oliver and continued to learn good things about emotions and how they factor into marriage. We also reported in on our little game from the night before. {Nothing provides a get to know ya time like standing in front of 200 strangers and reporting your findings on a lovers game.}

 

Seriously. Bangs, Bekah.

The main portion of the retreat was over at lunch time, so we went back to our room for a much-needed nap. {Because you know, the girl with the bad hair needed a do-over on the day.}

That afternoon, we met up with our friends to go out to eat with an early dinner reservation. We stood by the door to the parking garage to wait for them...all the while being passed by a flood of heavily made-up tiny cheerleaders and their parents. Whew! That was a lot of someday-estrogen passing us by. We were scared! {As is evident in this photo.}

We had dinner at Biaggi's, which is a fabulous restaurant in Fort Wayne. It was essentially the only real meal we had the whole day, so we made the most of it!

 

And after that...of course, we needed a Starbucks date! Here I am with the other girls in the group! On the left is Lorissa, who was a new friend I met at the retreat. Then there's Lori, from my church, and Sara, also from church {and you may recognize her from our wedding, too}!

 After our date, we went back to the retreat to watch Jim Barron's illusion show. He did a great job - always enjoy watching his shows!

Sunday morning, Ryan was so kind {or maybe so scared he'd see a reprise of Saturday morning} to walk down to Subway to get us some breakfast and coffee. {Mouth full of food - sorry.}

And then we went to the closing part of the retreat...a worship service. It lasted 2 hours and moved me to tears. Definitely the most meaningful part of the weekend. On our way home....little date through the car wash....

Though the weekend brought out a lot of wounded and challenged pieces of my heart...I'm so glad we went and I'm excited to move forward in becoming a better wife...becoming the support and encouragement he needs!