Keepin' It Real Christmas

Kelly's doing a link up with one of the Mamas today...Boomama? Bigmama? Somekindamama. Anyway. It's about Christmas decor. I can tell you right now it will be a great tour with lovely magazine worthy photos.

So if you're looking for that, go to Mama's tour. Cause over here in Bekahland, we're keeping it real. This may be my most disorganized Christmas EVER. So I thought rather than trying to pretend it was all perfect...I'd just keep it real.

This isn't decoration, but check it OUT! Christmas has descended upon my kitchen!! Let the baking BEGIN!


My kitchen is...pathetic. It used to be a well-themed room at Christmas. It was the s'more room. Unfortunately I collected too many s'mores for the tree that fit in the kitchen, so now the dining room is the s'more room and the kitchen is...sad. I would LOVE to make this the gingerbread room. But I'm waiting for Christmas to pass so I can get the stuff on sale!! For now...I stick poinsettias among the coffee stuff...

And this is my saaaaaad (channel the Clair Huxtable lilt) little Christmas tree. I hate it. It sits beside a loaf of bread and screams "HELP ME!!" Next year perhaps it will be a lovely gingerbread tree. In fact, I think that just might be its Christmas wish.

The S'more tree. This is in the dining room. I love this little tree. Love it. It is my only collection tree and it just makes me happy.

Here is one of the little s'mores. My friends and family have given most of them to me as gifts, and they always try to pick something that fits my personality.

This one was from Faith. :) Nuff said on that! :)

I had (and still do have) dreams of a lovely fireplace. But we're keepin' it real, folks. I have this beautiful little candle holder...with no candles lit most of the time. I'm not June Cleaver. I have the stockings...but I don't have stocking holders yet, so they're just stacked up. And of course - the spray bottle is what keeps the cats out of the tree!! As for the little faith sign...when I spoke at the luncheon yesterday, every seat had a little sign. "Somehow" this was the sign at my seat. I love God's orchestration.

Because I'm the princess, that's why!

I also like to collect things with "Joy" on them since it's my middle name. This was my present to myself this year.

The living room tree. I was informed last year (by a kid) that it's too skinny. But my house is too skinny. Therefore...

The guest room tree. It's got the hodge-podge-growing-up ornaments on it.

Snowman in the guest room. And yeah, the closet door is open. Keepin' it real.

Also in the guest room...collection of holiday boxes I've accumulated over the years.

The hallway tree. Mom made that. The little ornament beside it was a gift from someone who read my book. Love it! Oh and the little smattering of Christmas coffee table books. My attempt at trendy.

The bathroom tree. YES I have a tree in the bathroom. I also have a sweater drying. :)

Also in the bathroom....

The stairs tree. It's the fastest to put up and decorate. And yes, I feed my cats. This is their spare bowl. It's not used very often.

THIS is my favorite tree in the whole house. It's the bedroom tree. This is what I look at every night when I fall asleep. And it's the first thing I see when I wake up. Love it. :)

The sparkly top of the tree...

I added these poinsettias this year.

Ornaments in a jar (that needs dusted).

Also in my bedroom...the holy family that Mom made. Jesus still has a dismembered arm. I'm so sorry about that. This is the Bible that was on the front of my book.

The other bathroom. The tree, the snowman, an the hairspray. All the essentials.

THIS is my only magazine-esque picture. Rachel took this one when she came over to take my card photos.

Random decor on the bookshelves. The office is (regrettably) the only room without a tree. After Christmas sales, baby.

So there you have it. Just keepin' it real. Spray bottles, hair product, laundry and all. :)

A Look Back at February

** If you read this before noon today...I'm speaking at a luncheon and am quite nervous about it. Will take all prayers!! **


I am still baffled by the things I shared with you last week that I learned about my year by looking back at January. So I thought I'd keep the journey going by looking back at February.

February 1 - I reflected on the nine year anniversary of my little niece Carol's death. I said, Funny what you will yourself to remember, knowing there can never be new memories made. And now I realize that statement encapsulates so much of my year. Even though God has urged me not to "pine" (His word, not mine) over what I lost this year, I catch myself sneaking into memories...because I know that's all I have of this season.

February 6 - I was in the midst of a spiritual drought, and I had two very close friends who were going through significant life crises. I wanted to be a help to them but felt so drained in my own spirit, I didn't know how to help. One night, during a fierce snow and wind storm, the garden flag in front of my house blew off the pole and disappeared. I was annoyed with myself for not bringing it inside...I'd noticed it whipping in the wind. The next day, when shoveling out my drive, I miraculously found it, and I wrote My flag! Buried under the snow. Frozen stiff. I could have cried, but I wasn't sure about ice cubes on my cheeks. Silly, I know, but bring on the proof that God cares about everything...all the way down to garden flags. And these are the things that give me the strength to keep on going and keep on giving.

February 7 - I said this about my prayer life: It won’t come as a great shock to you to know I’m not a great listener. FABULOUS talker. Horrible listener. I can listen when it comes to the people around me. But I struggle to listen to God because He doesn’t talk out loud. Listening to Him requires being still. And…well…I’m too wiggly to sit still and listen. Hmm...think God was watching me on that one. I had no idea that in the months to come, He was about to yank the rug from beneath my feet, thereby causing me to sit...and listen. This same day, I also offered this quote from Streams, which today, on the flip side of the silent months, gives me great hope: "I do not believe we have even begun to understand the wonderful power there is in being still. We are in such a hurry, always doing, that we are in danger of not allowing God the opportunity to work. You may be sure that God will never say to us, “Stand still,” “sit still,” or “Be still,” unless He is going to do something. This is our problem regarding the Christian life; we want to do something to be Christians instead of allowing Him to work in us."

February 12 - I titled my post that day Moving Past the Grow-A-Date. I had no idea that in two days, I would receive a literally life-changing email. The one that told me there was a man named Isaac on this planet. Prophetic title!

February 17 - The first day of Lent. I hadn't planned to give up anything, but.... Tonight I was in the car, just singing along like normal, when I suddenly had the urge to turn off the music and pray. So I did. And that's when I knew it. For me, this season of Lent will still be chocolate covered, but it will be silent in the car. The music is off. The moments when I'm not talking to someone else will be spent in prayer. Easter seems so far away...how much will God say to me in this time? I can't wait to find out! Oh Bekah...if you only knew!

February 20 - The day I put the CD containing my manuscript IN THE MAIL!! After one final vacation day...spent in jammies and a pink bathrobe, poring over a Bible while pouring coffee in me...the book is done. I can't edit it anymore. I will go crazy if I try. I have read it countless times...double, triple, quadruple (and on and on) checked it for accuracy...and now it is out of my hands. Literally.

February 22 - Ironically, this was the first day I ever communicated with Isaac. Check out these words. I was quoting Angela Thomas' book, Do You Think I'm Beautiful?...Tonight this part struck me in a profound way. As I made my way through the workbook, I read these words: "Think about being free from the sack of ashes that has come to you through the difficulties of life. Because you are dancing in the arms of God, you don't have to haul that thing around anymore. He wants to make a trade. He'd like to take away your ashes and see you wearing a crown of beauty." And I concluded that post with these words: So why don't I work that hard to be rid of the ash heap of my heart? I think God had a plan in store....

February 26 - I posted about one of my "prayer cards" for Mr. Missing. I haven't posted one since, actually. It became too painful to talk about in the desert. This was the topic of that card: My prayer: The ability to create a safety net for his heart. I hope I did. There are days when I think of things I said or did that probably didn't make him feel safe. Those things sadden me. But I hope when he looks back over the time we spent together, he could say he felt safe with me.

That was February.

Wilderness Wednesday

** Tonight is another Bible study at church! Tonight we'll be studying Simeon...come join us at Sycamore at 7 p.m. if you like...or pray for us if you think of it! **

Back in wilderness-ville...it was a Monday morning in early June, and I awakened to memories of dreaming of my college boyfriend. Immediately Satan accused me of sliding into old loves. He told me Isaac was just playing me. GOD, on the other hand, told me to tell Satan to get out. God also said – and this was pivotal – that the attacks I’d experienced the previous two weeks would not return for the remainder of my desert. Satan would not be permitted to get at me again in that way. Part of trusting just meant rebuking Satan and resting back in HIS arms, believing His promises.

Before I went to work, I read these words in Streams: “Be ready to sing the song your Maker imparts to you…the strength of a ship is only fully demonstrated when it faces a hurricane, and the power of the gospel can only be fully exhibited when a Christian is subjected to some fiery trial. We must understand that for God to give ‘songs in the night,’ He must first make it night."

Lord God, help me as I go back to work. I am thoroughly exhausted. I am not geared up for registration. I miss my sweet Isaac. I long to be faithful. Help. I knew that week would demand much from me where my job was concerned. I had no clue how I would be an effective employee and an effective desert dweller at the same time.

When I got to work, I sent Ronda an email with all the Beth Moore quotes I'd read on vacation, and she answered me with these encouraging words: I think you are doing very well. I do see you as passionately waiting. Your meltdowns result in a desire to cling to God all the tighter to reap every possible benefit out of this wilderness. I believe this pleases Him very much. I do believe God is ‘fighting battles and blazing paths’ on Isaac's behalf while you wait…

And I answered her: The silence is part of my adventure in trust, apparently. Yuck. But here is the even harder part. When I was under the attack mode, man I prayed the daylights out of every day and the nightlights out of every night for Isaac – and now I’m only supposed to pray “You do it.”And I don’t even know what “it” is. I feel like I’m letting Isaac down by not agonizing in prayer…like I still need to be doing that on his behalf, but God says no. Agonizing done…Just handing it over now and waiting.

While at work, I remembered I’d awakened to the song Healing Hand of God by Jeremy Camp:



“I have seen the healing hand of God. Reaching out and mending broken hearts. Taste and see the fullness of His peace. And hold on to what’s being held out - the healing hand of God. Cast all your cares on him – for He cares for you. He’s near to the broken and confused. By His stripes, our spirit is renewed. So enter the joy prepared for you.”

And I paused to write, Oh my Jesus – yes. Keep me in Your healing hand. Keep my Isaac in Your healing hand. You do it.


That night, I wrote, My heart is full tonight – just in what I’ve learned as of late in sharing with my friends. Today Julie emailed me the words to “Trust and Obey,” which You JUST reminded me about. And then the opportunity to share about how I hear Your voice. I’m humbled (and scared spitless) that You would use me. Oh how I hope I’m doing well. Oh how I hope I’m not disappointing You in the way I share. Find me faithful in this journey. Find me faithful first to You and then to my precious Isaac.

We Interrupt our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

Because I need HELP!

(HEY. Stop. I mean with picking a picture for Christmas cards. We don't have time for the rest of it.)

I have to get the cards in the mail very shortly, so vote, vote vote!! I am going to try to figure out how to open it up to anonymous votes so MY SISTER WILL VOTE.

Here you go!

#1


#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

Thanks for playing!

30 Days of You and Me: Day Eight

Ohhhhh people, do I ever have a treat for you today! A treat, I tell you!

Today's 30-day instruction said "Describe your style ten years ago."

Easy.

Disastrous.

Oh I'm sorry...do you not believe me??

See for yourself:

Yep, that was me. I have lovingly dubbed this look the angry Amish boy.

Growing up, per the wishes of my Dad, I had long hair, didn't wear makeup or jewelry, and didn't even own a pair of pants. The four years of college became my find myself years. I experimented with shorter and shorter hair...darker and darker nail polish...various types of makeup...and pants that sadly mostly bordered on high-waters.

At the time of my college graduation, my hair had reached its shortest point yet (though it got shorter a couple of years later), and since my hair lady didn't thin it, this was the best it would do. The heavy bowl cut.

Hadn't discovered eyebrow waxing yet either.

Less was not more when it came to blush.

And as for the outfit...well...oh dear.

Another Kiddo Party

** I put a post up over on the book blog (side bar) with some of the feedback I've gotten this week. I'm pretty excited about what I've heard. Check it out! **

I do spend a lot of time at kids' birthday parties. It's true. And yesterday...another one! I won't tell you how many pictures I took. You'll say - "Really? I didn't even take that many pictures of my own kid's party!" I know.

I thought I'd share a few of my favorites.

Coloring...

Diving for candy...

Serious discussions about the size of the gift bag...

He said, and I quote, "I just need to sit here and think." A moment later, his breath smelled mysteriously of Tootsie Roll...

...Enjoying the cake and ice cream...

A great party...and awfully cute kids.

Lovin' Life

Earlier this week I was talking to my friend Marie and admitting (with due embarrassment) my inability to feel thankful on Thanksgiving. She wisely reminded me that Thanksgiving is just a day. You can be thankful any old day of the year.

And today the thankfulness I wish I would have felt on Thanksgiving Day overflows....

...and I want to share it with you. Please note that it's all pretty random. :)

* This week I got some hard news, and I was nothing short of amazed at the absolute outpouring of love that came to me. Within about 20 minutes of receiving it, one friend texted me and said "Do you need company?" Normally I'd refuse to be a burden, but honestly, I did need company. So I swallowed my pride and said yes - and within ten minutes, I had company on my couch who held me for two solid hours while receiving, in return, one very snotted-on shirt.


The next night, I got a text from Julie, who said "If you're not busy tonight, I'd like to come give you a hug." Y'all, that hug cost her two hours on the road and an entire night away from her husband and kids. I did NOT take that lightly. I know the sacrifice it was and I had tears in my eyes that she would even care that much. Please excuse our casual look. But please know the joy in my heart at the love of my friend...


* I did my grocery shopping at Meijer this week, and I was ecstatic to see these on sale in their ad. I haven't had these in YEARS. But um...yes please!!!! These are the only way to do animal crackers.

* I realized I'd not given you the latest version of Shallac's nail polish recipes. I present to you: iridescent magenta. I love it. It's brown on the bottom with hot pink on top.

* The oddest part of the week has been all the messages I've received from friends who are starting to read my book. Some read it immediately when they got it. Others have been saving it for the start of Advent. On the last night of November, I sat in my living room and thought - People are going to start reading my book. TOMORROW. Talk about cold sweats!!

But last weekend, my friend Kari (you've read about her on Wilderness Wednesdays) sent me this picture:

She and her mom were on their annual shopping trip with friends and she wanted me to know they used the book as their devo while they were gone. This was the coolest thing in the world to me. So weird to see - and yet so very, very exciting!! Thanks, Kari and Sandee, for sharing this with me!!

* And finally - I'm just so thankful for the way the Lord has been working in my heart this week. HE IS GOOD.

Bekah and the Mice

Remember earlier this week when I talked about the mice in the January recap?

I've lived in this house ten years now. In ten years, I've never seen a SINGLE MOUSE until this year. And this year I've had ten years' worth of them. I had...what was it...four in January alone? And granted, for most of the rest of the year, I've had a reprieve.

Reprieve over.

Caught one last week and Dad came to throw it out.

Friday, as I was procrastinating the putting up of the Christmas decorations, I decided to move the furniture. (In three different rooms.) One room was the dining room. The table has been in the same corner for about 2 years and I wanted to pull it over to the other corner. So I did.

Swept out the floor under the table.

Decided to contend with a pile of picture frames that have been leaning against the wall for...a year or more now?

Pulled away a picture frame and saw a little...something.

I hoped against hope it was a cat toy. They have some that are freakishly realistic.

Just to be on the safe side, I put on my rubber cleaning gloves. The ones that go up to my elbows. I also put on shoes. I went to the garage for the garden shovel. (The one with the four foot handle.)

Came inside, backed up as far as I could, extended the shovel, and scooped up "the thing."

Y'all, it crunched. I about threw up in the dining room, but then I'd have had to clean that up and I do puke about as well as I do mice.

I scooted that stupid crunchy ball of a mouse out the back door and deposited it in the yard.

And yes, the cats are so fired.

Seriously!! You can't eat the mouse, you two?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

30 Days of You and Me: Day Seven

Today's "you and me" day is supposed to include pictures that make you happy. Right. Like I can pick out a sampling of the billion I took this year.

But I did anyway. One picture from every month that makes me happy.

January. Celebrating 10 years as a Financial Aid Counselor...

February. I donned my best sports enthusiasm and gave myself a Colts manicure for the Super Bowl. I was pretty proud of that little horseshoe!!

March. Messing around with the new camera...Braeya served as my subject matter.

April. Glowing in love - sporting my Easter dress.

May. Meeting the ocean for the first time.

June. Learning that kids aren't as scary as I thought! Teaching VBS...which was NOT in my plan, but absolutely in God's.

July. At the lake, with my friends, seeing my book cover for the first time.

August. My spiritual retreat. Love me some hot tub time!!

September. At the park with pure cuteness.

October. Healing my heart....

November. Just proud of the shot. :)

There you go! I could do a month's worth of picture posts!! What pictures make you happy this year?

Wilderness Wednesday

** Tonight I resume teaching Bible study at church. We'll be studying the shepherds tonight...and if you can't stop by but think of it...I'll take prayers!! **

Well, my vacation-let to Tennessee drew to a close, and I came home. We drove home on a Sunday and between carsickness and trying to talk to Faith and trying to referree a backseat of two girls very weary of being strapped in carseats, I didn't get much writing done until I came home.

When I arrived home, I sat down to read the day's emails, and sweet Julie Crandall had written to check on me. I couldn't wait to write her back.

It was a long email, but here's just a snippet of what I said:

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your many prayers. Today was better. I felt so weird (and heathenistic) not being in church. Found that it wasn't so much the legalistic missing of it...just that I really missed being there to worship. I prayed OFTEN in the car and continued to feel very sure that God is working...and that my time of "toiling praying" (if that makes sense) is done. I have prayed. I have put my petition out there. It has been heard and the answer is in motion. My job now is to just lift "simple prayers" for his deliverance and to sit back for my prayers and y'alls prayers to do their work. I told God I feel guilty not doing some gut-wrenching praying. He said that's what trust is about...sitting back and being hands off...even in prayer sometimes. Just allowing HIM to work. Oh boy.
After answering Julie, I wanted to turn my attention toward the Lord.

I hate it that it’s bedtime and I’m just now writing. Hate it. But even with all those hours in the car when I could have journaled, I just wanted to talk to You.

I feel guilty sometimes when I struggle to remember the sound of his voice or his touch or his expression – and yet I have to hold tight to Your affirmation to my heart. Over and over today, You assured me You are at work and I will love the story. Holy Lord, please don’t disappoint me.

I stayed silent again today…busyness helped. Help me through this week, my sweet Jesus.

I did love the way You guided me about trust. You prompted me (again) that my fighting prayer days are done. I’ve waged the war. Now to sit and wait for You…and that’s what trust is. NOT needing to fight. Just waiting in expectation.

Jesus, hold me now…hold HIM now. Deliver my sweet man. Heal his heart. Love him back to me, loving Savior.

Egypts and Promised Lands

The last two sermons I've heard our pastor preach have had me literally on the edge of my seat. I'm not sure he's preaching to anyone else these days. But he sure is preaching the daylights out of the next to the last row on the organ side.

Sunday he preached about preparing for the Promised Land. My heart stung a little bit. When Isaac and I talked about our wilderness/desert, our goal was always to get to the Promised Land. And I won't lie. I still have an internal struggle wrapping my mind around why that did not happen.

This past weekend was tough for me. Really tough. In the recounting of my desert to you, we haven't yet gotten to the fourth of July. That was the all time low point for me this year. My entire life has literally never hit a lower moment - ever - than it did on the fourth of July.

I thought, though, that Thanksgiving was going to be right behind it. You may or may not have noticed there were no recap posts or pictures of the day. That was because I didn't really want to remember it. I struggled so hard to be thankful. I have, and I'm so aware of it, HUNDREDS of things to be thankful for. I do know it. And I can even list them.

But in the middle of all that, I find myself on the brink of my Promised Land...alone. Alone and terribly, terribly missing Isaac. Missing him and wondering why he wouldn't come with me. Respecting his decision to take another path, but still wondering why he wanted to take that road instead of being with me.

God has been so good to give me little snippets of understanding along the way. Just a tiny piece at a time. And as my pastor preached Sunday about the entry to the Promised Land, he reminded us that God saw the cries and hurts of the people when they were in Egypt.

And I have had cries and hurts. And I've said (among other things) to the Lord, "Do you even see me anymore? Do you even care? Are you even still participating!?!?" And of course, I know He is. Logically I do know that. But you've had those moments. Those times when you just wonder...is He there at all?

And He took me out of my Egypt. He carried me through the deep wounds and droughts of the desert. And He deposited me here in the Promised Land. I've had a lot of fights since I got here. Marching around and around, waiting for victory...finding more heartbreak along the way...waiting some more.

But this I can tell you. Though at times running back to Egypt seems tempting (because at least I know what to expect there) - I do not want to go. I want to stay here and fight for this thing. It's the Promised Land, for goodness' sake. It's worth whatever fight it requires. I want to fight with everything in me and win the promise the Lord has for me.

That was the snippet I learned Sunday. God promised that land to His people. But they didn't keep up their end of the bargain. And as a result, God took away what He'd promised them. Someone else got the blessing instead. I don't want that. I don't want someone else to get my blessing. I want it. I have no idea what I'm asking here, I'm sure. I have no idea how much more fight will be required of me before I enjoy the land of milk and honey. But I will fight. That I know.

Y'all, I'm exhausted. it's been a year. Well, technically not quite, but let's not split hairs. I don't know that I have fight left in me. But if it's wha God asks of me to get the Promise...I'm fightin.

A Look Back at January

Last week, I had a few (very few) spare minutes and decided to start reflecting on this year. It's almost December, and I'm the sort of person who likes to wrap up a year. So I went back and read through my January blog posts.

WOW.
God was setting up the year right and left, and I had no clue.

This is what I wrote on January 1:

And then I remembered this verse...one I learned years ago..."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10 - God knew. He saw the hurt and confusion and joy all fighting for first place in my heart and head.



I had no clue that would become the theme for the year. But He had a clue. (By the way - this was the verse Grandma Sue quoted to me when she and I first started talking about Isaac.)
From January 3:

In my mind, I can see the potential that is the office-to-be. I can see the book collection lining the yet-to-arrive shelves. I can see the pictures and baskets of desk supplies. It would be pretty tempting to close the door to that room until “reveal day” and then enter with my mug of steaming coffee and my creative mind…and write masterpieces.
Well, I am not sure about the masterpieces part, but I'm thrilled to say the office-to-be is assembled and the book collection looks just as it did in my mind's eye!!
From January 5:
R.I.P., Mr. and Mrs. Mouse. Once I know you did not procreate in my humble abode, I (hopefully) will find a measure of peace myself.
Some things just don't end. I think I'll save that story for later this week.
From January 8:

But mostly, what I have learned about myself is that my well-intentioned goals, resolutions, covenants, and commitments have put me in boxes that keep me from allowing God to be at work in my life. I am a good rule-follower, but if God would happen to want to do something outside what I'd prescribed, He'd be out of luck.

So this year is His. I'm disciplining myself in the areas of study, exercise and writing, but He takes it from there. If I need to loosen up some of my legalistic patterns, He's got the room to teach me how. If I need to buckle down on something, I have the time for Him to help me make it happen.
Oh Bekah. What were you ASKING!?!!
From January 10:
I think we should look at our situations, even if they’re internal, and decide if they’re worth a dollar of energy…or just ten cents. We need to decide their worth. Not what others would say.
And if they’re worth a dollar…then get in there and spend some energy. Fight. Clean up. Work hard. And if they’re only worth ten cents…then pay the dime and move on.
I think I paid my life savings this year. And I'd do it again - because it was worth it.
From January 15:
I'm hardly an expert. I think if they start a new reality show called The Slowest Loser, I'd make a great contestant.
Didn't expect the weight loss plan I ended up on this year, but after looking at last year's Christmas pictures, I'd say I'd no longer win my aforementioned show.
From January 17:

Planner-people don’t like foggy lives. Anything less than full visibility into the steps ahead is just plain annoying. And yet there are days – like the ones this weekend – when life is full of thick, heavy, choking fog. And while I technically did have a choice about whether or not I was going to drive in it, life does not offer the same option. Life must be lived.

But just like the fog outside my car caused me to occasionally turn down the music and turn up the prayers, the foggy life drives me to my prayer journal and my open Bible. I recognize…more than ever…in those moments that I am dependent…because I can’t see. And I have no power to change that.
Can we say FORESHADOWING???
From January 20:
This is from my quick comment on a new writing idea I had pulled out and begun to research...

And I think it's about to grow. I thought the idea was just going to be a chapter of a larger work. But after I started...I have a feeling it's going to grow and take on a life of its own. Typical with me. :)

Know what it was about? Consecrated time with the Lord. When He sets apart a chunk of time...

From January 23:
I'm still probably on the "high strung" list, but I've mellowed. I think so many years of things not going my way have pushed me to just not insist on having such a scripted way. Make a plan. Know that in all likelihood, it will change. Allow a few moments to work through the alteration. Embrace what really happens. And write about it because it's probably funny.

I wouldn't put this year on the funny list - and probably won't ever put it there. But it sure did mellow me. Yes it did.

From January 24:
This was in response to the reading in Streams in the Desert that day - where the writer talked about how the rests in music are just as important as the notes.

The rests count. And sometimes the rests make the parts that follow all the better.
And I don't mind telling you - this year has been the rest. I'm ready for God to bring on the downbeat.
From January 26:


The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

...Deuteronomy 31:8

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

My best friend, Lynnette, and her husband, Mark, were home for Thanksgiving. (They're the ones I visited in Virginia Beach earlier this year.)

They are huge fans of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I was first introduced to their music a few years back when Mark, Lynnette, and I went to Frankenmuth, Michigan, after Thanksgiving one year. They played it in the car on the way up and back...and I enjoyed it. So, when they asked if I wanted to hang out yesterday and go with them to the concert, I said sure!

The concert was down at Conseco Fieldhouse. Let the record show this is my second trip there this year!

Lynnette and me. We were FREEZING.

The guys started out on these platforms held up by cables. I would have passed out.

We sat in the snow zone and got snowed on!

Very cool light show...

I prefer this sort of snow to real snow...

Loved it!!

Pyrotechnics. Did I even spell that right?? Sure was glad I'd straightened my hair. No time to be a fire hazard yesterday!!

The vocalists were pretty amazing. I can't sing all that well standing still. Forget jumping around and singing!

I liked this lil shot that my camera did for me...

The guy in front of me (to the left) blocked my view most of the day. :(

The drummer - he was really good!!

My favorite picture of the night.

Liked this one too!!

Grand finale! That violin player was amazing.

TSO, baby!

Best friends!!!

Great concert...great to spend the day with my friends! Thanks, guys!