This Man

Podcast Tuesday!! He was back just in time for this week's Spill the Beans!

 Click here to listen.

Well, yesterday you read about my goodbye blues and how sad I was for Ryan to be gone for the weekend. But I must say that on the flip side of that, I am proud beyond words of what he did this weekend, how he obeyed the Lord, and how he allowed God to use him for HIS glory. For as much as I missed him {and that was a WHOLE LOT}, I did not want to stand in the way of ministry, and this weekend, Ryan poured out his heart and found his heart filled up, and I'm grateful.

Wanted to give you a few more glimpses of our weekend!

Sleeping apart is for the birds, but made the best of it. "Bed" selfies.

I sent Ryan pictures throughout the weekend to try to prove I was being a big girl and surviving well on the home front. I spent the day Friday keeping busy with a little road trip to visit friends.

And he returned the favor by sending me little glimpses of his handsome face - whenever he could.

SOMEONE cried for her dad THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.

Saturday I did all our chores and baked cookies to deliver to his retreat for the guys who attended. By the way, do you know how hard it is to bake 7 dozen cookies and only eat one??? {One cookie. Not one dozen cookies. Just to clarify.}

When I got home from cookie delivery, I read the fourth card he left for me, which made me cry all over again. Just call me Rudolph.

Sunday was the big day. On Sunday, he gave a presentation, and this is what we'd been praying over for weeks. He had prepared so very well, and I was a thousand percent confident that God would stand by his side and give him the strength he needed and that his words would bless those there.

I was praying from the moment I got up that morning, which was pretty early, since I had coffee duty at church. We normally serve together, but since he was gone, I took over his brewing job.

Note to self for future coffee duty days: don't wear a long sleeved shirt and a scarf if you're on brewing duty. I smelled pretty bad by the time I got home.

At the end of my shift, Ryan texted to say he was almost ready to speak, and I'm pretty sure Satan was hounding him, as tends to be the case whenever someone is about to do something pivotal for the Lord. So I put down my coffee cup and went into the prayer room at church, got on my knees at the altar and did some SERIOUS praying.

I prayed until I felt the Lord told me it was all under control, and then I went back to my job.

And a bit later, Ryan said it was done and God had given him a miracle by just immediately calming him, body and soul, and allowing him to speak well and completely.

And I just have to say: isn't he HANDSOME???

I am so proud of him for being brave to share his heart so vulnerably. I am proud of him for the incredible sacrifice of time, mental and spiritual investment, and full heart he gave that presentation and this weekend. I know God worked in and through him, I know it was one of those weekends he will always look back on as a stone in his {and our} spiritual altar, when God moved and broke down barriers and began new things.

That was worth every moment of missing him.

I scurried about the house Sunday afternoon, preparing it for his arrival home, and as wackadoodle as it sounds, I believe Braeya KNEW he was about to come home, because she sat down and rested all afternoon - for the first time since he left. Isn't it weird how animals just KNOW?

She also picked up her weird quirk again: she prefers for someone to watch her eat, and that's normally Ryan's job since her food dish is in his bathroom. I really don't think she'd eaten much all weekend because no one was there to watch her. But she cried until I watched her on Sunday, and she ate and ate and ate.

{That's her looking away from her bowl to make sure I'm still there.}

And then it was time to go get him!!!

That cup should say "Smile, your husband is coming home!"

I know it will surprise you to know I cried when I got to hug him.

Reunited: really does feel SO GOOD.

And someone else was pretty happy to see him too.

Ryan, I'm so proud of you for the man you are. Thank you for being such an obedient servant this weekend. I missed you, but I'm grateful for what you did.

And oh!!

WELCOME HOME!!!!!!

The Goodbye Blues

So I mentioned this a little bit on the Shuffle yesterday, but we just survived our third-ever-in-marriage separation. You guys, I make the worst weekend widow ever. I am such a sap. I have to make myself busy so I don't think about him being gone...you know, like how parents distract toddlers so they don't realize what they're missing? Yeah. I'm the parent AND the toddler. Ridiculous.

Earlier this year, Ryan was invited to work at a men's retreat, and while he's been asked to do this multiple times since we've been married, this was the first time he felt really compelled by the Lord that this is where he needed to be. Right now. So he said yes, and for the last two months, we've been praying over this weekend and anticipating it with joy {for what God was going to do} and great sadness {because being apart is not something EITHER of us like to do}. I spent a lot of Saturdays home alone while he went to meetings and made his preparations, and this past Thursday, the day came. The day of goodbye.

I hate goodbye day. It's the worst. I always survive the rest of the separation so much better than I survive goodbye day.

Ryan had the day off work, and we got to spend the morning together, drinking coffee {because of course} and eating breakfast...and packing. And right about then, Braeya JoJo figured out something was up, and OHHHHHHHHHHHH what I endured the rest of the weekend. {A sampling of her thoughts on the matter as reflected in this photo.}

She is a Daddy's girl through and through, and after I got home from dropping him off, I discovered she had thrown up twice, and she cried and cried and cried the rest of the weekend. Mournful little soul.

But anyway. Back to the humans.

We set out a little before lunch to get Ryan all settled in at his bunk.

Come on, Shaffers. You can be braver than that.

The retreat was just up in northern Indiana, but it was quite snowy up there. Beautiful!!!!

It was really important that I kept my composure as best I could {HA!!!} throughout this day because I really did know and understand that he was doing a good, God-appointed task and I wanted to be supportive. But let's just call a spade a spade here, shall we? I don't do composure well. And we've established I am NOT a pretty crier.  So I tried. I really did.

As we walked through one of the buildings, I saw this softball and I made Ryan take this picture. It became my phone wallpaper all weekend and I kept chanting the line from A League of Their Own...."There's no crying in baseball!"  I would say to myself over and over, "Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball."

Our dear lake. Not really the day for a spin in the boat, but still such a comforting place to the soul:

We had a couple of hours to spare, so we went to a little coffee shop {we actually visited it last summer when we were at the lake} and hung out by the fire for a couple of hours:

And then it really WAS time to say goodbye.

This was the tame cry before the ugly cry commenced:

And he was gone. I drove home in the dark, the snow, and the blinding tears, and arrived all in one piece, which was kind of a post-Christmas miracle.




And don't you just know that my wonderful husband had hidden cards for me ALL around the house. I gathered them all up and cried just looking at them.

And with that, I took my near-migaine-level {from crying} headached self to chair. {Not to bed. I can't bring myself to go to bed when he's gone.}

And Braeya and I cried ourselves into exhaustion.

Goodbyes are hard. No fun. But my one comfort was knowing he was right where God wanted him to be. And that in only three more sleeps, he would be home.

The Shafferland Shuffle

* I already mentioned it somewhat, but last Sunday we took a true day of rest at home - especially to try to allow Ryan to get better from this sinus infection that we discovered he's been fighting for a full three months. He's just worn out and needed a day on Mo. I scrapbooked, he rested, we watched our church service online, and that night, we recorded our podcast, with the help of a furry friend we know.

* Monday, Ryan must still not have been done resting because he ended up taking a nap before he ever went to work! {Been there, done that!!!} That night we went out on an impromptu coffee/house dreaming date, where Ryan decided to try out tubs in Lowe's. Crack. Me. Up.

* March came in on Tuesday with the most GORGEOUS sunrise! I loved it!! But it was short-lived, as the rest of the day was rainy and cold, and even a little big snowy! I had the opportunity, that afternoon, to help a friend's mom paint a wall in her living room. She's trying to list her house and had run out of time to get the painting done, so I donned my paint clothes and dug in; thoroughly enjoyed that!

* We celebrated 39 months of marriage on Wednesday, and Ryan brought me a GORGEOUS bouquet of flowers as part of that celebration. We also went out for a coffee date that night - at a little coffee shop in town that we had a gift card to - and they do fancy pants latte art! Sweet! This was also the day I  noticed the first signs of spring in our yard. YAY!!!!!!!!!

* Thursday....oh Thursday. It was the day I'd been kind of dreading for a while. For months now, Ryan has been preparing to work on staff at a retreat, and this was the weekend. Thursday was when we had to say goodbye, and it was BRUTAL. He had the whole day off work, and after we got all his stuff settled into his room, we got to spend part of the day together, just relaxing at a coffee shop and looking at the lake. And then, well, I guess the best way to say it is that I cried until I almost gave myself a migraine level headache. Such. A. Sap.

* I'd made plans to keep myself VERY busy on Friday, which included a little day trip to see friends, lunch, coffee, dinner, much laughter, much talking, much joy to my heart. Though I still missed Ryan TERRIBLY, I was glad I'd made myself so busy so I didn't sit around and wallow. And I was grateful for a good weather day to do my traveling. Before the day was out, I did get about a two minute phone call from Ryan, and it was so good to hear his voice!!

* Yesterday was my last day without Ryan, and it was a busy - and full - day! Lots of chores, including baking 7 dozen chocolate chip cookies to deliver to his retreat for him to share with the men. He sent me a couple of pictures throughout the day, which along with the notes he hid for me at home, got me through the day. Last night I got all dressed up and went to help with one of the retreat events, which meant I could see him - kind of - from a distance, so I wanted to look cute! Excited for how great his weekend has been and excited to have him BACK HOME.

The Saturday Six

One.

You know I love to play around with my camera, AND I love a good organized list. This gem from Click It Up a Notch provides both! An A to Z list of ways to improve your photography skills, including links to products and posts!

Two.

Did you guys see this announcement from Beth Moore? This is exciting!


Three.

Source

Are you the sort of person who gets a little too overrun with regrets? Boy, I sure can be. This is a great {and truth-filled!} article by Jennifer Rothschild that encourages you to move PAST regret.

Four.

Source

Okay, people! Who out there uses dry shampoo? I had coffee with a friend yesterday and she has thick hair like I do - and she said she loves using dry shampoo in between regular washes. Anyone else ever use it? Have a favorite? HELP A GIRL OUT!

Five.

Source

Yes, it's a two-book week again. I told you last month that I decided to read through some of the devo books on my shelves this year, rather than running out to buy more. In January {and spilling over a couple of days into February}, I read The Faith Dare by Debbie Alsdorf, and my review of that is here. It just so happened that the next book on my shelf ready for reading was also by Debbie Alsdorf, and this one is called A Woman Who Trusts God {published in 2011 by Revell}.

Appropriate for this season I'm in, yes?


This book is different from the first in that it's not a 30 day study. But it does have twenty-three chapters, so if you read about a chapter a day, it will take you almost a month to get through it. Again, Debbie's careful mix of Scripture and personal story made this book easy to read and yet a good springboard to getting into the Word itself. Her focus was on "the meantime." We're probably all living in a meantime of some kind: waiting on God to bring an answer, living in the uncertainty of tomorrow, working through changes in our hearts and bodies. They're all meantimes.

Debbie is not the least bit judgmental toward those struggling through the meantime, but rather she offers compassion and practical ideas for how to do more than just pass the time in the meantime. She encourages us to understand God is actually very busy in all our meantimes, working in us, working in our situations {even when we can't see what He's doing} and we can actually do some of our best growing and maturing in this time!

As with the first book, I did some serious underlining as I read and studied this one. A few lines:

"The worst part of the meantime is that in the long stretch of middle space we can be easily tempted to live only to make the pain go away." - page 49

"Do not obsess over knowing the plan. Instead, we must trust without knowing the end result or how God will use this situation to further our growth." - page 56 {GULP!!!!!}

"It's quite possible that God will use a poor choice on someone else's part to redirect us into His fuller plan for our life." - page 62

"Her trust life is kind of like tithing: God gets 10 percent, and she takes care of the rest." - page 159

Many more gems like that one are sprinkled throughout the pages - and some helpful places of study guide and Scripture reference are included at the end!

If you're in a meantime of any kind, especially one that threatens to derail you {or perhaps already has!}, I would suggest this book. It won't fix your problems, but it will guide you to look deeper into your life to see what God might be trying to teach you THROUGH them!

Six.

Source

I'd seen some exciting buzz sprinkled here and there throughout social media about blogger Christie Purifoy's debut book, Roots and Sky. Though this book was my introduction to Christie's writing as a whole, I drank in every word and am ready for her to write another book. Tomorrow.


The subtitle to the book is "A Journey Home in Four Seasons," and I think it was our pending move that drew me to this book. {Plus, it's a memoir of sorts, and I'm a sucker for a good memoir.} The cover's rendering of their big, beautiful brick home reminded me of the crafting bed and breakfast I used to visit every year, and I knew it always felt like home to me, so I saw no reason why Christie's book wouldn't feel like home as well. And it did.

The story begins in autumn, when Christie and her husband move their family across the country to a place where they know no one, and they purchase an old-and-full-of-character farmhouse {named Maplehurst} with a long drive lined by mature trees. The farmland surrounding their house has been sold off and turned into subdivisions of predictable matching homes, but theirs sits on five acres that pay homage to the legacy of the past. And they move in, dreaming for their future.

Christie chronicles that first year in the house, telling of the dreams and disappointments, and the overwhelming flood of emotions that pour in with a newborn and a house that needs attention and care. She tells of the loneliness of knowing no one and and the joy of uncovering treasures on the grounds with each new season.

Yes, it's a book about moving in and settling in a house, but it's so much more. It's about settling into life and learning that much like a house, it's never going to be perfect, it's always a work in progress, and there will continually be dreams and disappointments. It's a book of permission to accept the imperfection and a challenge to make the imperfect beautiful. It's a book of honesty and beauty, even in the raw and the ugly.

Christie beautifully weaves the theme of Scripture into life and vulnerably shares her own wrestling with faith and the every day.

Even if you've never lived in a farmhouse, even if you've never been a wife or mom, even if you've never moved far away from all you know, you will find truths that resonate with you in these pages. You'll find, I think, your own Maplehurst, and you'll want to live there with the same intention and fullness that Christie does at her Maplehurst.

I loved this book, I will be loving Christie's blog, and I'll be waiting for her next book!

* Thanks, Revell, for publishing such a meaningful book and for sending a copy my way for review! *

Crock Pot Lasagna

In between my second and third 21 Day Fix rounds, Sarah {my coach, who rocks, by the way} offered a week of crock pot cooking ideas for us to help us out. I tried them and found some amazing keepers for us among them. This one, in particular, is my favorite. I wanted to share it with you, because this little gem is proof that you can actually COOK on a clean eating plan and those dishes can actually TASTE DELICIOUS.

I'm a big fan of lasagna, and this recipe did not, in any way, make me feel like I was missing out on "real" lasagna. It's incredibly filling and even surpassing the taste was the ease of cooking. You don't have to pre-cook the noodles {YAY! - I've burned myself on hot lasagna noodles too often} and it just cooks itself in the crock pot all day while you do other things. Win, win!

 Crock Pot Lasagna

* 3 whole wheat lasagna noodles {no need to pre-cook}
* 1 pound ground turkey, browned and drained
* 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
* 1 1/2 cups fresh spinach
* 1 jar {28 ounces Spaghetti sauce}
* 1/4 cup water
* 16 ounces low-fat cottage cheese
* 1 1/2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated

Line your slow cooker with a liner and break each lasagna noodle in half. Place three noodles on the bottom of the liner. Stir the Italian seasoning in with the cooked turkey and spread half the meat over the noodles. Spoon half the sauce over that, followed by half the water, half the spinach, half the cottage cheese, and half the  mozzarella. Repeat the layers in order and cook on low for four hours. Serve with salad or garlic bread if you desire.

A Few Tips:

* The recipe Sarah gave me called for six noodles broken in half, but the first time I made it, I messed up and only used three. We felt like that was still plenty, so I just adjusted the recipe to save a carb here and there.

* I add the Italian seasoning while I'm browning the meat, because it's easy to stir in then. You can add it then or after it's browned - either way.

* If you want, you could add some onion to your meat.

* Sarah also gave us a recipe to make our own spaghetti sauce, and the last couple of times I've made this, I used between 2-3 cups of that in place of a jar of store-bought sauce.

* I keep a big bag of organic mixed spring greens on hand for my salads. It has spinach in it, but other greens as well. I used that in this and it worked fine. They all wilt down anyway.

* Sometimes I add more veggies than the recipe calls for, mostly because anytime I can sneak in more veggies, I will!!

* A serving of this fills me up, but I always make garlic bread on the side for Ryan.

* If you're skeptical about the taste, let me assure you Ryan really likes this one!

39th Monthiversary

Yesterday, we celebrated 39 months of marriage! And yes, still celebrating.

According to Facebook, three years ago yesterday, we celebrated our monthiversary by scraping wallpaper border at Ryan's Greentown house, and then we went shopping for all the supplies for our reception. I'm kind of glad we're not scraping border or planning for a reception right now! {As fun as those things were...}

Yesterday was a little more low key. Ryan worked, of course, but even in working, he makes things fun. We usually FaceTime at lunch, and this was his entertainment for me yesterday:

Why yes! That is a pretzel nose ring!

I'm not really sure why he didn't lead with this look when he asked me out for the first time.

Ahhh, but this is what I love about him. {One of many things.} He always, always makes me laugh.

{Gymnastics with the dining room table...}

{Podcasting...or is it pod-cat-sing?}

{Date night fun...}

{Shopping...}

{Opening presents...}

Truly never a dull moment around here. Ever.

He makes me laugh and he loves me well. 39 months ago was a yes that changed my life in a wonderful way.

Yesterday he surprised me with these:

They are stunning.

And we used a gift card for a fun coffee date:

Coffee and dreaming. Now that's a good 39 month date.

Thanks for making me laugh and feel special for 39 months, Ryan. I love you!!!

Moving: The Emotions Edition

My parents built their own home back in the 60's, and they remain there to this day. The house has undergone some transformation along the way, starting in the late 70's when some baby showed up unexpectedly, requiring the addition of a bedroom, and again in the 80's whey they added "the new room" onto the back of it. Everyone still calls it "the new room," by the way.

Once, when I was in high school, I remember Mom talking about a house in Greentown that she liked, and I don't remember if it was officially for sale or not, but my hopes soared that we would move. Nothing seemed grander to me than a move and a fresh start. I mentally imagined a moving day and what it would be like to live in town within walking distance of my friends. As paragraph one's spoiler alert may have told you, that never happened. And I still think of it every time I drive past that house. The house I never got to live in.

So my first chance to "move" was when I went to college and lived in a dorm. For four years, I "moved" regularly, in and out of dorm rooms and apartments, and while I can assure you we hauled more than any college student ever should, it still wasn't a true move. It was just a heavy vacation load.

After college, and before I could move into this house where I've been ever since, I spent three months living in an apartment with college friends. I never unpacked most of my clothes from the suitcase, and I slept on a trundle bed. I felt more like a guest than a roommate, and from there, I came to Bekahland-now-Shafferland, where I've been ever since.

Moving STILL seems like an adventure to me, and I am eager beyond words for the day to arrive. {We still don't have that day nailed down.}

Ryan told me the other day that he wondered if the reality of leaving my first real grown-up home and the first place we ever lived as a married couple would settle over me and begin to hurt. If I would find myself overwhelmed and saddened by what I'm leaving behind.

I'm not sure. It might come. This house, after all, has such a rich history for our family, dating back to the years my grandparents lived here. And I've done a LOT of growing up in these walls. So yes, the day might come when I have a little meltdown because I'm leaving my roots. And if that day does come, I will allow myself that grief and all the tears it brings and be okay with it.

On the flip side, I am incredibly excited for this move. I'm excited for the chance to make a new home with Ryan, one that has always only been ours together. One we can make decisions about together. I'm excited to sort through every possession and find it a home and purge the things we don't need. {And I'm relieved I started that process LAST year, so it's a million times easier now.}

But even more than excitement over the house, I'm excited for new routines. Our day will look really different without a commute in it. I don't know what it will look like, exactly, but it will look different, and I celebrate that.

And honestly, I don't know the town all that well. I have so much to learn. Street names will be a fine start, but everything will be new: new grocery store, new coffee shop, new running spots, new everything. I'm excited to uncover those delights and embrace them as my own. That was something I didn't do here in my current town until I was almost gone from it and realized I never got to know it. I don't want to make that mistake again.

So the emotions these days are running high in a good way. Excitement for our future. Joy in this journey. We still have no updates for you on our own home, and that has been one part of the journey that remains hard. I had more than a few meltdowns over it last week, but I'm choosing to trust in the moments when it seems bleak. {And there are a lot of those moments.} Faith is a whole lot more about grit than feelings!

"Lifestyle Change" in the Real World

Though we had a rough start, we had a lot of laughter in this week's podcast. We hope you enjoy it!

 Click here to listen.

When I took the plunge into 21 Day Fix land back in November, I did so heartily declaring it was not a diet, but rather a lifestyle change. I wasn't doing some temporary solution that I would proceed to undo a few months down the road. I was going to teach myself new habits and learn new ways of eating and working out and there would be no going back.

This I declared.

And for the first round of the Fix, I pretty much never left home. I stayed firmly fixed inside the safe, veggie-laden walls of  my house and refused to step foot outside where temptations loomed. As time has progressed, I've gotten braver. I've allowed myself the freedom of going out more and seeing how I do when decision making time hits. I just finished the third round of the Fix, and I'm down a total of 17 pounds from where I was on November 30th. {happy dance!!}

I'm in the middle of a couple of "off" weeks before picking back up with a new workout series, and I wanted to check back in to tell you a little handful of things I've learned that help me exist safely in "the real world" of buffets and burger joints.

* Become one with the allotted containers. One of the things the 21 Day Fix approach teaches you is portion control and how many portions of different kinds of food you should have each day. When I first began, I leaned heavily on my paper crutch of allotments for each day. Going out scared me, because I had scripted what I should have at that meal, and what if the place I was going didn't serve that? I've learned to approach each "out" meal by taking with me a mental note of what kinds of foods I have left to play with and then seeing what on the menu comes closest to that. For example: I went out earlier this week with a friend and told myself I could have two veggies, a protein and a carb. And I managed to find that in the options before me. It didn't look like what I would have eaten at home, but it still fit the bill and kept me on track. The farther into the process I get, the easier it is to keep mental track of what I've already consumed and what I have left to eat.

* Refuse to think of it as denial and instead, think of it as an exchange. Ryan and I went to Red Robin on a date last week, just two days before my final weigh-in. You should know that Red Robin is one of my most favorite places on the planet, and my mouth waters just writing about it. Those juicy burgers, those bottomless fries: sigh. Be still my heart. But kudos to Red Robin for providing tasty alternatives to those trying to do better. That night I was able to get a turkey burger on a lettuce bun {saved the carb entirely!!} with bottomless broccoli. Now. I will tell you with all certainty that broccoli is NOT as fun as fries. Not by a long shot. But I had fun ordering my second bowl of it {there were like four pieces per bowl, so don't get all congratulatory on me here...I wasn't that good} and feeling like I got to participate in the bottomless party, even though mine was steamed broccoli instead of fries. And we went to a bakery after, where Ryan got a cookie, and I chose Greek yogurt with almonds. Instead of mourning the cookie, I was excited they had a yogurt option. When I reframed my thinking, the eating out was much more fun.

* Don't be afraid to stalk nutrition info. One day I had a completely unexpected lunch out with a friend. We'd spent the morning shopping and I figured we would be done long before lunch. While I was excited to have extra time with her, I was not mentally prepared for a meal out. We ate at Wendy's, which was a place I'd not gone since starting the Fix. So while we were in line, I pulled up their nutritional info on my phone so I could make an informed decision. I ended up getting a salad, and I ordered the half portion. Saved me money and made sure I didn't eat too much. The salad I ordered was not the one I had guessed in my head would be the healthiest, which is why the nutrition info was helpful!

* Celebrate the little good choices. On my "off" weeks, Ryan and I allow ourselves one good, old-fashioned treat meal. This past weekend, we ordered a pizza. We used to order pizzas every Friday night, but we'd not had one since around Christmas. I think I sniffed the daylights out of it all the way home. While regular pizza is not a healthy, clean-eating choice, I did make good choices that night. We did not order breadsticks or garlic knots on the side {we always did that}, I chose two of the smallest pieces {nothing is ever cut evenly}, I did not go back for seconds, and I drank water instead of pop {we always have pop with pizza}. So when I think about what I did accomplish, it allowed me to enjoy every last bite of that pizza.

* Make healthier treats. Even when I'm "off" and not being as strict about following the plan, I don't bake up a huge batch of brownies or buy ice cream to keep in the freezer. I make granola and protein snacks and keep them for my extra treats, and I love the way they fill me up even more than a cupcake does. And then on the days when I have an actual cupcake treat, I appreciate it even more.

So this is how I'm learning to make a healthier eating plan pay off in the real world. I still have work ahead of me in weight loss and fully embracing this new way of thinking, but I've achieved a mighty fine start.