Relinquishing the Pen

Thanks, my dear friends, for reading along with my story-from-yore this week. It's been a busy week in my head and heart, and I've just needed some time to catch up again. Thanks for hanging with me while I share from the past, and I hope that no matter where you are in your story, you're finding something God can use to get through to you about your situation!

This part is to follow up yesterday's story, when God asked me to give Him the pen to write my love story.

***

I knew exactly what God meant.  A few years before, I’d read Ericand Leslie Ludy’s book When God Writes Your Love Story.  In my typical fashion, I’d curled up with the book, a pen, and an old bulletin to make a straight edge under the sentences that needed underlined.  I’d studied the book carefully and felt God’s first tug on my heart to follow Eric and Leslie’s bidding to hand over the pen of my love story to the capable hand of Almighty God. 

In response, I’d looked at the pen, considered the pen, toyed with the idea of handing over the pen, and ultimately kept the pen.  But on this day, as I whispered those words of trust to the Lord – I felt the tugging again.  Give Me the pen.

To show you just how God works all these things together in His time, I’ll sneak ahead to the next day…after my time in the prayer chapel…to show you where this moment and that prompting of the Spirit led me.  After Eric and Leslie wrote When God Writes Your Love Story, a book about how to let God be the author of romance, they also wrote their own love story in a book called When Dreams Come True.  I had owned the book for a couple of years, but I’d never read it.  But this exchange with God drew my interest to that book, and the next night, I picked it up.  And as I read, I wrote:

I read these words in When Dreams Come True tonight.  They gave me hope.  On the heels of last night…of all of yesterday, actually.  In this chapter, Eric talks about the personification of his wedding day:  “I only spent a day with him – though he had been waiting since before I was born to throw me this great fiesta.  God created Mr. Vale for one purpose.  It was his life’s work to decorate the stage for the most tender and precious of romances.  He didn’t just do his job well, he was the best I’ve ever seen.”  God, I want my wedding day to be such a celebration.  I want it to be a day of celebration for You as much as for me.  I want to feel as though You’ve waited all my life to throw me a wedding day.

He goes on:  “God has given you something today that all the money in the world couldn’t buy…Never forget what God has done for you.”  Lord, don’t let me forget this wilderness once I reach my Promised Land.

“We often stop believing in the Heaven at the end of the race, and so strangely dare only to believe in the hell in which we’re struggling through today.”  I know those days.  I do.  Aren’t these pages testimony to that?

“Let this story offer you hope.  Let it lift your chin and put a sparkle of vision back in your eyes and dreams of heaven back in your heart.  Let God remind you how big He really is as – on a day when rice filled my hair and joy filled my heart – He reminded me…True love is worth all the pain that patience and perseverance can inflict.”  Please, God.  Make it so.

And though I didn’t know those words from Eric’s heart were in my near future, similar prayers formed in my mind as I sat on the wooden pew in the tiny chapel.  God wanted the pen to my life and I’d withheld it thus far.  It had worked for Eric and Leslie to release their hold on their own lives.  God had done a good job of bringing them together and opening up a ministry for them.  Why would I not trust Him to do the same for me?  Clearly, nothing I had tried seemed to work. 

The request from God hung in the air:  Give Me the pen. 

Okay, God.  You write the story.

***

And from the other side, I have to say, He wrote a MAGNIFICENT story. One far better than I could have dreamed that day in that pew. So even though on THIS day...I'm not waiting for love, I'm still waiting for God to write other parts of our story, and I'm reminded again to hand HIM the pen and let HIM do the writing. 

The Index Card

I was sick on the couch all day yesterday {with what I'm demanding to be a 24 hour bug that will leave me feeling ALL BETTER today}. Since that makes for very poor blogging material, I'm going to continue with my story today. Again, if you're one of my single friends, please oh please read the words of wisdom from my brother-in-law as I quoted them below!

***

I stopped twisting the ring and glanced beside me in the pew.  There sat the index card.  Blue and green permanent marker displayed my neatest handwriting and four dots in the four corners of the card bore witness to four years of sticky tack that had held the card to my bathroom wall.

I’d stumbled across it the night before when I used the upstairs bathroom.  The one that had been mine years before when I’d shared my house with a roommate.  Since she moved out, I’d taken over the larger bathroom and the card had gone unread on a daily basis for those most recent months.  But when I saw it the day before, God prompted me to take it down from the wall and to the chapel to pray over it the next day.  So I’d done just that.

The card read:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”  (Philippians 4:6).

“A poor relationship is not better than no relationship.  It will be scary and lonely to eliminate a long-standing relationship like this.  But work through to the other side of the loneliness and see what’s there.  If you want more out of a relationship, hold out for it…Tell God, ‘I’ll trust you with bringing me my partner.’”

Those last words were penned by my brother-in-law in an email over four years earlier.  I’d written to him in desperation as I tried – in vain, again – to relinquish my grip on a relationship that I just couldn’t shake.  I’d clung to these words and transferred them to the index card so I could see them every day as I got ready for work – and ready for bed.  I thought perhaps just reading them over and over would remind me of their truth. 

And I did read them – over and over.  And still I returned to the relationship – over and over.  Then I just didn’t see the card anymore.  But it still hung on the wall.  And that night, God led me back to it.  God reminded me of another time and place when I’d sought to become the woman He designed me to be.  A time and place when I had ached to be free to move on to a forever relationship – but had not been willing to really put the effort behind it.  A time and place when I hoped reading words on a card would magically transform my spirit. 

Sitting there in the chapel, I held the card in my hands and studied Jeff’s words closely.  “A poor relationship is not better than no relationship.”  So true.  What was the point in having someone by your side if he didn’t really want to be there forever?  “It will be scary and lonely to eliminate a long-standing relationship like this.”  A sure promise.  Nothing had been more painful than letting go – consciously – of this love I’d had and shared.  The uncertainty of the future without him was far more difficult than the pain of being alone.  If I didn’t marry him…would I marry anyone?  On and on I’d agonized. 

And then the hope.  “But work through to the other side of the loneliness and see what’s there.”  That had been the part I’d avoided in the four years since I read the words.  The work seemed too hard and the other side too far to even glimpse.  Until recently.  And with diligent work, I’d plodded, day by day, through a “detox” program to eliminate this unhealthy relationship from my life.  There had been tears and anger and worry and fear – but I found Jeff’s words to hold truth.  Working through to the other side had helped me see that there was another side.  “If you want more out of a relationship, hold out for it…”  I’d been scared to hold out for more because I wasn’t sure such a thing existed.  But I was beginning to see that it just might.

Finally, the frightening end.  “Tell God, ‘I’ll trust you with bringing me my partner.’  There is a committal guy out there.”  Gulp.  I sat in the chapel, clutching the card and staring at that last sentence.  I sat.  I prayed.  With thanksgiving, I presented my petition to God.  I verbalized that I trusted Him to bring me my partner.  Though it seemed big – huge – I committed it to the Lord.  I said it again.  I’ll trust You with bringing me my partner.

I waited.  And then God spoke:  Give me the pen.

Worth Far More Than Rubies

A few weeks ago, I began sharing with you {randomly} about some encounters I had with God in the IWU Prayer Chapel, during a set-apart time of prayer and fasting. This particular section I want to share with you gives me goose bumps to read now - because I'm reading from the other side. If you're one of my single-and-waiting friends...I ache for you to find comfort in these words. If you're one of my married friends...I ache for you to find thankfulness for answered prayers, just as I'm finding today.

***

One of my childhood pastors, Fred Littlefield, once preached about the importance of Scripture memorization.  He said that when we put Scripture into our memory bank, God will pull it out at just the right time.  I’ve learned the truth in that statement – and beyond it, I’ve also learned that in the spirit of Romans 8:28, God will also work to bring together truths we’ve learned from various sources – if we’re willing to take the time to learn them.

As I sat in the prayer chapel for week number three, God reminded me of that lesson as He brought to my mind sections of truths I’d learned here and there over the past weeks – months.  Amazing how something I had read or heard or experienced at so many different stopping points could suddenly all lump together and make sense. 

It began with my ring.  I sat in the chapel waiting on my first lesson of the day, and in my fidgety nature, I began twisting the ruby ring on my left hand’s ring finger.  Not until later that night, after consulting my journal, did I realize that this particular day was my 100^th day of wearing that ring.  God knows how dearly I love anniversaries like that, and I appreciated His tying in a lesson about the ring on such an important day for it.

A few months earlier, I began studying Elizabeth George’s book Beautiful in God’s Eyes.  I mentor a friend from church and together, Olivia and I had been delving into Elizabeth’s findings on the Proverbs 31 Woman.  I wanted Olivia to know how to better grow into such a woman, as she was already doing, and I wanted to make sure I got on track in being that woman, as I wanted to gift my husband with a blessing, not a hindrance of a wife. 

The second chapter of the book focused on Proverbs 31:10, which says, “Her worth is far above rubies.”  Elizabeth said “The rich red ruby is truly a unique gem, and because of their rarity, large rubies even surpass diamonds of equal weight in value!”  I had no idea!  I always credited diamonds with being the gem of choice in value.  That day, as I read that chapter, I vowed to find a ruby ring and wear it on my ring finger until the day my husband proposes to me – as a reminder to me that I have value in God’s eyes – and as a reminder to work hard every day to become a woman of even greater value for my someday husband.

Since I read that chapter in January, one of my friends suggested that I watch for Valentine's Day jewelry sales in the weeks to come, and I might find a ruby ring in my price range (which wasn’t very high).  I thought it was an excellent and easy idea, so I kept my eyes on the newspaper flyers…and came up empty.  Apparently at least in my area of the world, ruby rings never go on sale.  Necklaces, earrings, bracelets – all of that gets the markdown, but not rings. At least not ones that would look good on me. 

And then – two weeks before Valentines Day – one jewelry store near my house ran an advertisement for a ruby ring – small and classy – right at the top of my price range.  There would be an extra charge for sizing if necessary.  I took one look at my chubby ring finger and rolled my eyes.  I wondered what “extra charge” translated to in dollars.  Nevertheless, I made my way to the store with coupon in hand, on the appointed day of the sale and asked to see the ring.  The lady pulled it out of the case and slipped it on my finger.  A perfect fit.  I wrote the check and walked out with my new ring proudly displayed.

Later that day, God pointed out to me that He can ordain even ruby rings.  A perfect fit of the perfectly priced ring.  And then He pointed out that my ring is comprised of three hearts – two on their sides pointing into the large one in the middle.  Just as your marriage will be two hearts in love with God at the center.

One hundred days later, I sat in the chapel, twisting the ring on my finger, remembering a day in February when I made a vow to become worth more than the rarest gem so I could bless my husband. 

There will be a husband. 

What?

There is a husband in your future and I will be the center of your marriage. 

What a comfort God brought in those words.  These dates – where I came to pray and learn and seek and be filled – were serving a purpose.  I couldn’t see what just yet, but I had such a peace that a purpose existed. 

Elizabeth’s book from months before came back to me as I sat there – and how thankful I was that God was molding me into a beautiful woman for….the love of a lifetime that I could only dream about.

***

And now, from the other side, I can tell you that the ring I wrote about that day was actually not the one I had on my finger when Ryan proposed. I discovered while on vacation several months later that the center ruby had fallen out - and I had no idea where it happened. In time, I found a replacement ring - with a story that was as beautiful as finding the first one. 

And Olivia? The one I studied with? I had the privilege of praying over her and her husband the night before their wedding, and I stood beside her the next day as a bridesmaid. I watched with no reservation whatsoever as she joined her heart with God's match for her.

And as for the ring itself...I pulled it off my ring finger on October 4, 2012, when Ryan knelt before me in Studio A, in front of a live mic, with all my co-workers watching and thousands more listening. And God's promise rang true. There was a husband for me after all, and He IS the center of our marriage.

If I Could Go Back...

...for one more ice cream cone.

{My apologies if you were expecting something a bit deeper than that.}

I don't know how many of you who read this are from my original stomping grounds, but if you are, then you remember the Comet Cone. If you aren't...then I'm so sorry you never got to experience the Comet Cone.

It was this unassuming little ice cream and sandwich shop on the edge of Greentown - named for the school mascot....the Comets. It had less than a dozen booths and a long table in the middle that normally had a congregation of retired men gathered for coffee. The menu for the drive through was hand painted on a giant board that hung on the side of the building.

{Photo from the listing...cause it's for sale. Sigh...}

People loved that little place. I loved that little place. Chocolate Diet Cokes {back in the era when I drank Diet Coke} with puddles of chocolate syrup buried underneath the most perfect pellets of crushed ice. Twist soft-serve cones held under the little wheel that dropped the crunch coating over it - sprinkles and nuts and sugared goodness that made twist cones that much better. Hamburgers with pickles and a side of fries...my mouth is watering just thinking about the treats that made my childhood.

But it's not just the food. I love the memories of that place. Mom always stopped there on her way home from school when I had strep {which was every winter of my childhood} to get a chocolate shake that felt so good on my throat. She took me there on my way to my very first ever babysitting job {I was twelve and my niece was my tiny charge} to get my favorite chocolate Diet Coke as a pre-first-job-calming agent.

And who can forget the night Mom, Dad, and I sat in there  eating dinner, when we got the news that a tornado was headed our way. The faithful ladies in the green aprons behind the counter were planning their quick exit into the freezer to wait out the storm and hope for the best, and I was trying to convince my parents to go home. They contemplated dessert. I begged them to leave. To go home. {And anytime this girl turned down dessert, that really was something to consider with seriousness.} To hide in the basement so I wouldn't have to die in the freezer with the tiny pieces of ice and the future twist ice cream.

{We did make it home. And the tornado did come. But it spared both the Comet Cone and our house.}

I don't remember when it closed. It was after I moved out of town. But I will tell you what - every time I drive by there, I remember how much I loved that place, and how much I wish it was still open. If I were independently wealthy and had any sort of business brain about me, I'd start it right back up. Complete with the chocolate Cokes {forget the diet now, thankyouverymuch} and the crunch cones. Create a new menu of memories for a new generation.

A couple of weeks ago, Ryan and I drove past, and I made a comment about how much I missed it, so he drove right in and pulled up under the drive-thru awning. I stared through the dusty windows at the empty dining room - and I remembered that whole piece of my childhood that for reasons I don't fully understand - I miss. Seriously. How do crushed ice and sprinkles on cones fit in so unmistakably to the formative years?

I hope you had a Comet-Cone-esque place in your own childhood. The place where you knew you could count on the middle table of retired men drinking coffee...the chocolate shakes for strep throat...and the best crushed ice in the county. And you know what? I hope you have that place now, too. A menu of new memories.

Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday we had a wonderful church service...I thoroughly enjoyed learning from the Lord that day! We'd set aside that weekend as a firm "no plans" weekend - our first one in months, and our souls needed it! We rested, we washed the car, we went for a run, we roasted hot dogs in the fire pit, we made s'mores...it was just a lovely day. So thankful for rest. We didn't realize how much we'd missed it.

* Monday I went back to the dentist to have my appointment with the dentist who will actually do my procedure. He was very nice and I got through the session with no issues. {Although they didn't come near me with anything either, so that helped!} That night, Ryan and I had a great workout and enjoyed some homemade tacos and a night of rest at home. Again. Isn't that like 2 in a row? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE????

* Tuesday morning, I snapped this picture of Braeya while she "helped" me at my desk before work. When I write, she likes to sprawl out and supervise. :) I had lunch with my new friend Elisa - and I would have taken a picture of us, but it was our first time to hang out in real life and I didn't want to look like the weirdo who asked for a photo!! Really enjoyed spending time with her, though! That evening I was busy in the kitchen - making dinner for us and brownies for the nice guys at the car shop...still hadn't properly thanked them for rescuing me from the side of I69 with my flat tire!

* Wednesday we had some CRAZY fog for our morning commute. I so appreciate being on an interstate in fog. No intersections to worry about! That evening, we stayed home and Ryan worked hard on the paperwork end of my upcoming dental palooza. I appreciated all he did to make this go smoothly from a business end! And me? I did laundry. Be jealous. Be soooooo jealous.

* Thursday morning I got up early and put everything in the crock pot for our dinner. I always feel very domesticated when I get up early to cook. After work, we went for a run, and I had my best one in a long while. I was THRILLED! My treat that night was Ryan's peanut butter pie, which he made for me...why does dessert always taste even more delectable when someone ELSE is cooking?

 * We've noticed that fall seems to be starting AWFULLY early around here. We have a tree on our street already dropping leaves, the mums are on sale at the stores, and Ryan is back to wearing Colts shirts to work on Fridays. PLEASE STAY A LITTLE LONGER, SUMMER!!!! In happier news...I got my first free Starbucks drink in the Gold Card program...free tastes GOOD!!! And at the end of date night, we settled in at home to watch TV, and Ryan gave me a foot massage...and someone did not like that. She's so greedy.

* Last night, we were able to have some of our friends over for a cookout - and it was nearly a perfect night for it! We set up a table in the yard, in the shade of the big tree, and enjoyed corn on the cob, hot dogs, grilled chicken, grapes, chips and fresh salsa, and mac & cheese. It was so yummy! Our friends have two kids, so Ryan and I took turns playing soccer and hide & seek with them in the yard. Not gonna lie - it was pretty fun! And I guess they liked it too, since before they left, one of them said they wished we lived next door!

The Saturday Six

One.

So we went to buy cilantro for guacamole this week and Meijer was sold out. AGAIN. They're almost always sold out of cilantro. So we did what we had to do: bought the whole plant. They did have one of those left. So now we own a cilantro plant! I feel so very grown up. And kind of trendy. And I hope I don't kill it.

Two.

Several years ago I bought these chalkboard stickers for my canisters. I wrote with regular chalk, and it looked...rough. My chalk with thick and bulky - too much so for these guys. And we were constantly rubbing off letters; we've been drinking "offee" forever. So I got one of those chalk pens and redid my signs. LOVE the pen. I will say that for me, it needs to be used in a permanent setting because it doesn't come off well, but that's okay for these labels!!

Three.

Source

A post that kicked me {appropriately} in the gut this week - about seeing others through a lens I too often forget to use.

Four.

Source

Loved this beautiful poem written by Max Lucado for his daughter's wedding a few days ago. And I loved it that he shared it for others to pray over their own marriages. :)

Five.

Source

I think I might need this spice drawer insert. Once I have a house that has a bunch of drawers, that is. CRAFT PROJECT, RYAN!!!!!

Six.
And speaking of Ryan, this is his contribution to the Saturday six. How to pick up a girl at the gym. Please note he did not actually USE this method.   

Pray for You?

This week has been beautiful in many ways. We've enjoyed more time at home than I can remember in a long time. {It hasn't rained, so the grass hasn't grown, so that bought us two nights together since Ryan didn't have to mow. YAY!}

That's the good news. The bad news is that so much time at home has given my mind plenty of time to just run...run...run...and that's never good. When I start thinking too much, I start worrying, and then I just want to eat. Cookies. Lots of cookies.

Or this delight that Ryan made for me this week. Be still my beating heart.

But I digress.

Wanted to update you on a couple of the situations that keep our prayer life hopping...because some of you have asked! If you are so inclined to join us in prayer on these, we would welcome that ever so much.

1. The house(s). I told you a couple of weeks ago that we received an offer on the house Ryan owned coming into our marriage. It passed inspection {yay!} but we're still waiting to hear that the buyers' financing has gone through. We've been prepped that it could take a few more weeks yet, so we're enjoying {cough cough} a season of waiting. Our prayer is obviously that it will work out - and even more quickly than we have been told. We are ready to be done with this VERY long season and be able to look ahead. But our prayer is also for the people trying to buy the home. We know they really want this house, and as a person who has known what it feels like to want something so badly...I am praying that they'll get to experience the joy of something good coming their way. And let me just assure you...when that house does finally sell, we are going to have a blogaroo party like you've never seen. Thank you to those of you who have prayed with us on this for...well...ever.

2. The mouth. You might remember that last week I told you I have to have a major dental procedure later this month. I've since had my consultation with the dentist who will be performing said procedure, and I feel very comfortable with him {which is nothing short of an act of God in and of itself}. I do not currently have nagging anxiety about this visit, but then again, I have a couple of weeks before it hits. My biggest concern is my ability to fall asleep. I thought, prior to my consultation, that I would be receiving IV sedation, like I did with my wisdom teeth a few years back. I was told it will actually be an oral sedation and most people fall asleep but some just get loopy. I need need need to be one of the most and not one of the some. And though they don't fully comprehend this, the staff at the dental office needs that too. HA!! So I'm praying hard to conk right out for the whole thing. In addition, I know exactly what my subsequent jaw pain will feel like and I'm prepared to tolerate it, but what I don't know is how long it will last. Could be several days or even weeks. I just want to be able to get through that part without being too whiny. {Essentially = pray for Ryan.}

So that's my plea for prayer if you'd like to join me. But I also love praying for YOU. Are there things weighing on your heart right now that you want to share so I can join you in prayer? {If you don't feel like spilling your guts in the comments, you're welcome to email me at readingrebekah at yahoo dot com.}

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord...The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

~ James 5:13-14, 16 ~

Twenty Months...CHECK!!!

We celebrated twenty months of marriage this past Saturday. We marched right on into the next group of tens!! I love it when our month anniversary falls on a weekend...and when it turns out to be a weekend neither of us has to work...well, YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

And so it was this past weekend!

Our anniversary was on Saturday, and we got to sleep in...Ryan's version of it. {His version is 7 a.m. My version is noon.} We made scrambled eggs for breakfast and then set about doing our errands and chores for the day. Ryan was most excited to clean out the garage and the gutters.

No, seriously. He was really excited to do that!

I was excited he was okay with me scrapbooking while he did all that.

I gave him a card while he was cleaning the garage...which is almost romantic. :)

 But I love to give him cards, so if I have to deliver it in the garage, I will! :)

I'm pretty sure his anniversary gift to me was selling this bad boy:

Yep! That was the day we said farewell to the Old Asphyxiator.

 That afternoon, we headed down toward Indianapolis to eat dinner at Red Robin. It's one of our favorite places to go...and it's also where we ate dinner on our first date. Double bonus! AND we had a gift card. TRIPLE BONUS!!!

 

Two facts you may not know about Red Robin: you can order a petite version of any burger. {Essentially the Whopper Jr. size vs. the Whopper size.} I love that!!! Also, I learned by reading the ketchup bottle that they have a reward program where you can get a free burger after you buy so many. {DO not start with me for reading a ketchup bottle on my date. I have so many issues. I am so lucky he loves me like he does.}

The Red Robin where we ate is part of an outdoor shopping mall, so after dinner, we walked around just enjoying the stores {not actual SHOPPING, you understand...just looking} and then we capped off the evening with dessert at Cold Stone. {Another gift card.} Ryan had never been to Cold Stone. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? {I have failed.}

I got salted caramel yogurt. It was SO TASTY - probably the best representation of a real salted caramel taste I've found. And it was yogurt, so at least I saved a couple fat grams.

We really enjoyed our day together with no agenda...it was so lovely.

Thankful for these last 20 months - though they have been very eventful, they have been such a joy!!! Hard to believe that by the time we get to 21 months, I'll have been through my dental event and Ryan will have had the opportunity to see the "or worse" part of those vows. :)

Wednesdays in the Word: Verse Z

We made it! All the way from A-Z with Bible verses. I want to start by thanking all of you for hanging in here with me for this project. You've left kind comments and emailed me your thoughts - and I am glad to know that along the way, different verses have meant something to you at your place in this life journey. Thanks for sharing this learning time with me!

I was, as you might imagine, a bit limited in verses containing "Z" words - but I think this verse is a PERFECT way to wrap up these memory verses.

Ever feel like giving up? 

When I was in college, I began each semester enthusiastically. Fresh syllabi...new books...the determination to do my best EVER work. And then...sometime around midterms {or the first day of class, at times}...I didn't just hit the wall...I slammed into it with such force, I should have sailed through the other side. I couldn't study one more hour. Write one more paper. Retain information for one more test. I wanted to QUIT. And if not quit entirely...at least quit trying SO hard.

My final semester, I was hired as an employee of the school WHILE completing my degree. While all my classmates were job hunting, I already had an office of my very own, business cards, and a real paycheck. Going to work was SO FUN. Going to class was SO NOT. I begged to quit school. I promised to be the best employee they had ever seen...if they would just PLEASE let me enter the real world right then. Naturally they denied that gracious offer. I was half a semester away from a four year degree. I could NOT quit. {And I I did not quit.}

When I walked the desert road, people told me to quit. Walk away. Be done. He's never coming back, they said. Just cut your losses and go on. But I knew God was calling me to to stay the course, despite the pain and despite the potential lack of a future. And as you all know, he did NOT come back. The relationship was over. But I was so thankful that for the first time ever - I lived out the words of this verse. I kept my spiritual fervor. I served the Lord in a hard spot and stayed faithful and obedient to what He asked of me.

And now Ryan and I wait again. We wait for houses to sell and direction on where to go next. The waiting is tiring. It's taxing. It's out of our control. And it's hard. But we've learned from our previous seasons. From the days when we wanted to quit something entirely. From the days when we wanted to at least quit trying as hard. We want, so much, for people who might be watching, to see that we are hanging onto our fervent trust in the Lord. That we are serving while we wait. That we are striving to learn the lessons He has for us in the waiting.

So as we say goodbye to this particular study, I invite you to serve with zeal. Maybe you're waiting like we are. Maybe you're fighting. Maybe you're being still. Maybe you're delighting. Maybe you're grieving. Maybe you're doing a handful of those things at once. Whatever you're doing, do it with zeal. Keep your fervor. Serve the Lord in it. Let those watching you see Jesus.

Press on, my sweet friend. Press on and press into Him.