One Big Truth

I was reading Kelly's blog the other day and found this link-up that I want to participate in - and you can read the details of it here, if you'd like.

Most of you who read this have been lurking around my blog for a while and you know the story. You know where I was and how I hurt and how God has wildly redeemed the pain and loss.

Last week I got an email from a reader I've never met...and her story moved me to tears, because as she shared her life with me in that email, I read my own story, with slightly different details. I nodded over and over as I read - because she's walking down the very path I took not all that long ago, and she said reading through the archives of this blog is giving her hope that God is good and He can redeem.

She's not the first person to say those words to me, but each time I hear them from one of you, my mind is absolutely blown...because...

...when I was in the throes of that hurt, I didn't particularly want to read about other people's happiness. With all due respect, it kind of got on my nerves. I'd read and think, "Well, yippee for you that you have everything all patched up and happy in life. Meanwhile, I still hurt. My heart is still broken. I'm not seeing any hope at the end of this thing."

It amazes me how many people are able to read our story - all of it - and find hope in it.

When I was in the hottest, most painful part of the desert, I remember crying out to the Lord, asking Him to find me faithful in the journey - and to make the pain worthwhile. To not waste it. I firmly believed that if He trusted me with such incredible pain, He had a reason. And if I could help someone - anyone - in his/her pain, then it was worth it to me to walk the path.

It was in that season that God directed me to these verses in Deuteronomy 6:

And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you - with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant - and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. (vv.10-12)

And I asked Him never to let me forget.

I can look back on that season now without searing pain gripping my heart - and that is something I wasn't sure I could ever say. My heart isn't tugged and ripped with each memory. God has healed my heart and my mind, and I'm grateful.

But I have not forgotten. I've not forgotten how it DID hurt. How it DID cripple me. God's COMPLETE faithfulness. And His unmistakable, undeniable deliverance from that dry, dusty desert.

It's why I'm compelled to share my story...our story...every chance I get. God is good and faithful and I praise Him for bringing me into the promised land.

New Adventure

You know that little idea that sort of sparks on one side of your brain...and then spreads until it's all your mind can think about?

And you think about daring to voice it, but you're just not sure, so you don't...and it grows and grows in your mind until your whole head is in danger of exploding?

Truth be told, that little scenario above can describe me about 90% of the time. And the most recent time was just a few days ago.

I had a little writing dream stirring around up there. It started out little, but it grew, and I was excited about it...but scared, too. It was the kind of writing dream that involves a naked heart, and that's always intimidating to think about revealing to anyone.

But I reached the point where I HAD to say something, so I blurted it out to Ryan one night, while we were sitting on our couch relaxing after work.

I knew it was safe to tell him. He's always supportive...my biggest writing advocate. {Even more than my mother. And that is pretty impressive.} I wasn't scared of his reaction - but I certainly didn't expect the reaction I received.

I want to write with you.

You should know that Ryan's comfort level in the writing world is just about equal to my comfort level in the Big Boy Weight Room at the gym.

But this is one of the things I love most profoundly about him. When he senses a God-placed passion and direction, he doesn't let anything stand in his way. He just goes for it.

Before we even got married, we sensed God calling us to be open to sharing our hearts, our stories, our wounds, our healing...whatever He asked of us. And we said we were willing. We didn't know what that meant, but we were willing.

And this past summer, when we were up at the lake on that crazy fall-like rainy Sunday morning in July, we huddled in hoodies under a shelter while rain pelted the lake, Bibles open, fingers curled around coffee cups and said yes to the next part of God's invitation to us. We still didn't know what form it would take, but we felt compelled to say yes to being used. Being His ambassadors.

And then again a few days ago, we said yes to writing the message He has laid on our hearts.

It's scary. Ryan's not a writer and I've never written with anyone before.

It's exciting. To be chosen as a vessel is humbling and thrilling.

It's serious. To agree to be used is to be vulnerable to attack, and we know that.

It's unknown. We are still waiting for God to unfold more details, and patience is...well...we struggle with that.

We'd love for you to pray for us as we take on this new adventure. We want to make sure we're listening clearly, writing obediently and suiting up in our armor to stand against the Devil's schemes.

Will you be our prayer warriors in this season? We'd love it if you would!

Cruise Tips for Newbies

I know...you all thought you were done with cruise jabber and now here I am again!! But I had a request for a post of tips for cruising, since some of you haven't been on one before. Ryan is the expert in our family. The one we just took was his 8th. So I've asked him to weigh in from the "expert" side - and I will add my two cents as a newbie. All opinions expressed below are based on a Caribbean cruise, as it's all we've done.

Ryan's Tips {AKA - the Expert}

* Four to six weeks prior to the trip, begin increasing your food intake so you can increase your stomach size, thus maximizing the amount of food you can eat on the trip.

* There will more than likely be many kids on the ship, so you should probably go ahead and just act like one. {vis-a-vis...the water slide....the water park...screaming for food at your table.}

* If possible, fly in to the port city the day before; that way you can get on the ship as early as possible the day you set sail. This gives you time to learn the ship and maximize your eating possibilities. {It also lessens the possibility of MISSING the departure of the ship due to delayed/canceled flights.} Photo below taken during our self-guided ship tour before we set sail.

* If you're not cruising with a large group, and the option exists on your cruise, the open dining is a great option, because it allows you to fit dinner into YOUR schedule. You can request the same waiter every night if you want to keep the same one.

* Don't worry that there won't be enough to do, whether on the days at sea or the days in port. There's always PLENTY to do. It's just a matter of choosing what you want to do!

* After booking your cruise, continue checking the price. If the price goes down, they'll give you on board credit for the difference. {At least with Carnival.}

* All your food is paid for with your ticket, so you can try anything...and if you don't like it, you can ask for something else. And if you REALLY like it, you can ask for more! The best way to do this is to go ahead and order two appetizers, two entrees and two desserts when you sit down. {At least.}

and then there are....

Newbie Tips - from Bekah, of course

* Take more tank tops than you think you need/want. I took some tank tops and some t shirts, thinking I would want to switch back and forth. I did not. Ran out of tank tops. Tan lines, people! Tan lines!!

* Actually, beach cover-ups ARE outfits on these ships. I didn't even know that. I should have just bought a couple more of those and skipped regular clothes.

* Though I complained about it endlessly at the time, being on the 11th deck and choosing to take the stairs for almost every single trip {minus three the whole week, I think} was the best thing for not gaining the cruise 15. Seriously.

* Having a room near {in our case, one deck away from} the food deck is great. Not so much because of snacks, although there is that, but because anytime we wanted a drink of tea or coffee, we didn't have to scale the entire ship to get one.

* Unless you are traveling with kids or in a large group and just know you wouldn't use it ever, spending a little to upgrade to a room with a balcony is great. They're so tiny, but it's nice to be able to relax without hunting for a chair or worrying about people taking your stuff. Nice, quiet, serene - and still OUTSIDE.

* Do one thing every day that constitutes adventure - even on the days at sea. And on the flip side of that, don't be so busy doing every possible thing that you forget to rest. It is, after all, a vacation. It's okay to just relax!

And last but not least...when in doubt...TAKE US!!! WE'RE FUN!!

The Shaffers Go to the Gym

Let's just call a spade a spade, okay?

My husband works out. A. Lot.

He was a wrestler in high school...and he's been working out his entire adult life. He's a walking mass of muscles, and I will not lie to you - I really enjoy that.

It's one of the reasons I was so surprised when he picked me. Not that I think he's so shallow that he couldn't like a girl who um...is a book nerd...but because working out is just such a part of his life, that I figured he would choose someone with that passion in common with him.

Since going to work at WBCL, my gym life has been pretty much non-existent. I am scared to go by myself - and the gyms in Fort Wayne are intimidating to a girl like me who had to read the directions on every machine to see how they work. Those gyms are full of in-a-hurry worker-outers who just want to get in, work out, and get out. They don't want to wait in line behind the girl who brings her book-nerdiness to the gym and actually reads the directions on the machines.

So...we decided to get a membership at the same gym, so we can work out together. {Collective awwww, right?}

And last night was our first trip TO the gym to work out together.

I walked in to this room filled with skinny college girls in their cute little spandex workout pants and perfectly form-fitting tops, hair swinging rhythmically from side to side in sleek ponytails, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

You could call my shirt form fitting in that it seemed to have found my muffin top. And right about the time I settled into a machine and put my legs up on the bar -  I remembered the substantial hole in the seat of my pants.

Whoopsie.

Ryan was so in his element as he whisked me around the room and set up the equipment for our reps. {That's what those are called, right?}

Me? I was still back reading this:

I scooted onto a bench and began to pull a pathetic-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things amount of weight down from the bar above, while sucking in trying to cover that blasted hole in the pants.

And that's when I saw her.

Little miss skinny with her curly side pony, kicked back on the exercise bike, putting away the miles without breaking a sweat. She was oblivious to her reflection staring at me from the floor to ceiling torture mirrors on the gym wall, and I knew the look.

"Seriously? HE is with HER? Mr. Muscles and Mrs. Muffin Top?"

I won't lie. I ruffled at first. But then I thought - YOU KNOW IT, BABY!!! That one is all mine and I don't mind if I do sit back and watch him rip down all those weights like it's nothing!

And so the evening went. Ryan scurried around the gym, lifting heavy black discs and I hung out in the corner with these:

He twisted and turned and did all manner of sit ups while I stood like a two year old learning to balance on these bad boys:

Before you judge - if you've not done that - it's not as easy as it looks.

At least if you have the equilibrium doled out in our family genetics.

And so that was the Shaffers' night at the gym, take one. We'll see how it goes from here. I can only imagine the blog posts to emerge.

Meanwhile, I really need to sew up these pants. Or buy new ones.

Our Engagementversary

Again, thank you, Christina, for the term "engagementversary." I love it. It's now officially a Shafferland word.

Friday was the official one year mark for our engagement, and we wanted to celebrate! Hard to do when you have to work all day, but we made the best of it.

We decided, as part of our celebration, to sponsor part of a day at WBCL, so we did that - and it was so fun to hear our celebration message play throughout the day. {Although every time I heard my name being said, I thought someone was actually calling for me...ha!} My mother may or may not have set an alarm at home so she could stop and listen every time it was scheduled to play. She is so funny!

Ryan hid the SWEETEST card in my lunchbox, along with a new car charger for my phone. {As you can imagine, with as much driving as we both do, we keep the car charger/blue tooth industry in business.} And guess what? The charger is PINK! Love it.

So anyway. On to the evening. There's a little BBQ place over in Converse, which is about 20 minutes from our house, and we'd heard great things about it, but we'd never been there. So...we went!

It was a hoppin' place all night long, but we had fun. Robyn, who works in my old office, also works a side job there, and she was our waitress, which made it even more fun. Ryan got brisket and I got brisket and pork, because I'm a pig like that. Seriously. Look at these two servings! Oink oink!!

Just kidding! I made this last for two meals. I try always to order with the next day's meal in mind.

We really loved our dinner, and even got to see our friends John and Sandee while we were out. It was a good little dinner.

So then we came home to watch a movie. I told Ryan he could pick because I didn't really care.

Know what he picked?

For our auspicious one year engagementversary?

Dumb and Dumber.

I laughed and laughed and laughed. I said, "Seriously? To celebrate the one year mark of the most important decision we've ever made, we're going to watch Dumb and Dumber??" So funny!

I confess I had not seen this movie before but I did laugh pretty hard. And that's the kind of couple we are - the kind that can watch Dumb and Dumber for an anniversary and have a great time with it.

Also a great time - our coffee and Cookie Cottage dessert! The Cookie Cottage is a little cookie shop up in Fort Wayne, and that's where our cookies came from that my friend Jeri got for our wedding trip:

Ryan LOVED those cookies and when he mentioned them again the other day, I knew that would be the perfect gift for him. So while ours didn't have the darling little message on them, we did hunker down with some yummy iced sugar cookies and coffee and it was the perfect end to the night.

And then...remember the other day when Ryan was praying and thanked God for 9 wonderful months of marriage, and I asked him which of the months he didn't like because we'd been married for 10? Okay so I'm not EVEN kidding...this was his synopsis of our engagementversary:

"It's been a great 10 months of engagement and 9 months of marriage."

I thought he was making fun of himself, but he was not. I said to him "You do know we've been engaged a year, right?"

We cracked up pretty hard over that one.

Oh how I love that man!!! He makes me laugh so much - and I love to laugh. Thanks, Baby, for a great celebration of some random undetermined amount of marriage and engagement. I love you SO MUCH!!

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday was one of those perfect rainy days that just makes you want to curl up in your jam jams under a blanket and drink coffee all day. So I did. Well. After church, anyway. Ryan and I spent the entire day just resting at home - watching football {him} and scrapbooking {me}. And that evening, my friend Ronda dropped by to return a loaf pan, which MAY have been refilled with a delicious apple dumpling treat.

* Monday was a DISASTER at work. You wouldn't even believe it if I told you what took place during our {attempt at a} show. I declared the day the winner against me by 11:00 in the morning. So that night I redeemed the day by exerting my creativity on a new fall mantel. I like the way it turned out!

* Tuesday, God really put some things on my heart where the writing adventures are concerned. Excited to see where He takes me in this journey - and I know it will be just that - a journey.

* Wednesday was our ten month wedding anniversary and while we kept it low key, we thoroughly enjoyed having a night at home together - AND our inaugural apple pie chai of the fall season. It was heavenly.

* Thursday, during BLT - we sampled one of the DeBrand caramel apples I talked about in the Saturday Six last week. I seriously could have eaten the whole thing. {Except it probably weighs 8 pounds between the gargantuan apple and all the caramel, chocolate and nuts. Heaven on a plate.

* Friday was our one year engagementversary. {Thank you, Christina, for that great term!! I'm using it!} That evening, we went out to eat at a little BBQ joint not far from here that we'd heard great things about but hadn't ever been to. Great dinner, fun evening, MUCH to tell you about later!!

* This weekend was IWU's homecoming, and my friend Natalie asked if I wanted to meet her for the parade yesterday. I said sure...and we ended up running into Faith while we were out and about! Here we are...13+ years after we graduated. Does this mean we're old?

The Saturday Six

One.

Last Sunday was National Coffee Day {I thought EVERY day was National Coffee Day!!} and I read this list of 10 facts about coffee. Some very interesting tidbits there! And I think I have an idea for funding my next vacation now...

Two.

Source

Whilst roaming around Pinterest the other day in search of some hair help {someone HELP HELP HELP me!!!} - I encountered this blog by Kate - who knows about hair. She's beautiful, I'm already engrossed in her story, and I've watched some of her tutorials. Happiness.  

Three.

Source

Are any of you obsessed with the Nester's 31 Days series? I have a feeling Ryan might become a 31 days widower worse than I became a football widow! I love, love, love browsing through and finding new blogs to check out. And this year, she's categorized them! Even better!

Four.

Have you seen this lady? HILARIOUS impersonations of divas...I think I loved her take on Julie Andrews and Celine Dion most of all.

Five.
I feel bad posting this one after the funny one - but I couldn't NOT include this. A couple of years ago, my dear friend Sheryl told me about HER dear friend Chelsea - who had just been diagnosed with cancer. Chelsea just passed away at age 25 - and this video is her testimony. Powerful stuff. 

Six.

Every now and then I like to know when I'm doing something right. I read this article online this week about America's biggest money-wasters. I was so relieved to see that according to this opinion, I'm spending well!

One Year Ago...

Well, by day-of-the-week, it was actually yesterday, but by calendar date, it was one year ago today...that everything changed.

If you're new here and haven't read the story, you can find it in its entirety here, here, and here. It was the ordinary Thursday when the door to the studio burst open and Ryan walked in with a bright smile and a few words to say:




I still love watching that and remembering the mix of pure joy, complete shock, and undeniable wonder - that the moment I'd waited to experience for 30 years had finally taken place. {I wanted to get married starting at age 4.}

Never had so many thoughts and emotions flooded through my mind in so little time. What is he doing here? Isn't he at work? Clearly he's not. He's going to propose. I hope my mother knows. Are we ready for this? Don't cry. Soak it up; this only happens once!

And there he was, on one knee and other than the occasional glance at my friend Sheryl in the next room {to make sure I wasn't hallucinating this entire thing}, I never took my eyes off Ryan once. I had no idea every single staff member had congregated in the room and around the remaining windows to watch. I had no idea photos were being taken. {But thank GOODNESS they were!} I was just lost in Ryan's eyes in that moment.

It turned out that he'd pulled the most elaborate scheme in successfully surprising me, my mother did know, and we were ready.

I didn't know, sitting in that chair that day that 12 months later, I'd have already celebrated 10 months of marriage.

Much has changed in these last 12 months. A whirlwind of wedding planning, a wedding, a honeymoon, moving in together, making my house into our home, dozens of coffee dates, a cruise, some weekender vacations, a new church home...even this studio where he knelt in front of me has been ripped apart for a remodel.

And yet much is constant. Those words he spoke...are true. He has kept every promise. Every day he commits to keeping those promises. He loves me well. He cares for me, he provides for us, he leads us, and we treasure every second of this life spent together. No more goodbyes at night. No more strategic planning to be able to spend time together.

Ryan loves me as Christ loves the church. It's an undeserved, but ever so welcomed and desired love.

I am so glad that one year ago, he not only asked me to share life with him, but that he did it in front of the world. That the girl who had been hidden and broken by others could know what it was like to be claimed boldly.

New life. Beauty for ashes. Redemption from brokenness.

Thank you, my sweet Love, for asking me to be yours. I still say yes! A thousand times YES.

10 Months {?}

Yesterday was another milestone in Shafferland...ten months of marriage!!

We got up so early {as always} and were praying together after devotions, when I heard Ryan say, "Thank you, God, for these wonderful nine months of marriage together...."

After prayer, I said to him, "So which one did you NOT enjoy?" LOL!!!

We had to work, so we spent the day apart {BOO!!!!} but we left each other notes in our lunchboxes, so at least we got a small feeling of being together during the day!

After work, we came home and Ryan grilled burgers for us, and we ate out in our pirogi!

What we feel like we look like sometimes:

And what we HOPE we actually look like...

After dinner and a nap in the hammock, we walked over to IWU...because...GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

That's right, baby!! Apple pie chai for two!!!!

Those things are SO STINKIN' HEAVENLY!!!!!

It was a good night - and we made a little video for you....hope you enjoy! Be sure to stick around to the very end...only in Shafferland...

Family Blessings

Last week was our week to host, it seems! I told you yesterday about the friends we had over during the week...and then on the weekend, we invited Ryan's dad and step-mom, along with his grandma and step-grandpa over for dinner!

I will admit to you - I was a bit nervous! We don't get to see his dad's side of the family very often, and I am still the new girl! I felt that strange bit of self-imposed pressure to make a good impression, because I wanted them to think he'd made a good choice when he chose me. I guess the measuring stick for choice is the ability to serve a good dinner? {??????}

We were blessed with an unbelievable weekend of weather - my GOODNESS it was perfect! - so we set everything up on the patio again, and enjoyed a lovely evening with his family.

We kept it simple with the food...a chili bar!!

Ryan made the chili himself - simmered it in the crock pot all day long, so it was good and flavorful by dinner time. I made some cornbread and put some potatoes in the oven to bake in case anyone wanted chili on a potato. I chopped up some onion and green peppers, dished up some shredded cheese and sour cream, and added a plate of saltines and a bowl of chili flavored Fritos. There you have it! Build your own chili! {Shawn, I entirely spaced the pasta...OOPSIE!!!!}

For decorations, I just borrowed all the stuff I had on hand for my October mantel!

A little bale of straw I bought at Hobby Lobby a couple of months ago...a handful of tiny pumpkins, and a vase with some fresh cut mums Ryan brought home for me. Simple - but cute. And I appreciate the side of the pirogi being a nice fall color for me. :)

I had another little table for the water and tea pitchers...and I put the extra mums on that table.

And I can't forget dessert!! I wanted to make something pumpkin-y, and I wanted to try something new. {Always a gamble for company.}

I've made Paula Deen's gooey butter cake and the chocolate version of the gooey butter cake.  I figured I couldn't go wrong with the pumpkin gooey butter cake...right? So I whipped up a cake....and at the very last minute, decided I might want to candy some pecans to go with it. I didn't have time to do the whole long baked version, so I found this quick and easy version. It's not quite the same as the way I've made them before, but it really does just take five minutes and we all loved them. I was so glad I did that...the crunch was a good addition.

It was a delightful evening. So laid-back...and my worries were in vain. They had a great time and I loved watching Ryan exchange stories with them.

One of the many things I love about this married life...the chance to open our home to our families!

Cookouts, Friendship and Fun

This post is, admittedly, a tough one for me to write, because I have dozens of heart-stopping adorable photos of the event, and I can't use the best of them because I've made a promise to my friends that they can be blognonymous. So just trust me on the cuteness factor. It was over the top.

But rather than skipping it, I'm blogging about it because there are a few important things I wanted to share about the night!

Some friends of ours were sweet enough to house-sit for us while we were on our cruise, and we wanted to thank them for keeping everything and everyone {ahem, Braeya} safe and sound while we were gone.

Of course we purchased gifts for them during our travels, but we also wanted to have dinner with them as another way to express our thanks. So this past week, they came over for dinner one night, and I noticed a few things while they were here that I wanted to share.

It doesn't have to be fancy to be meaningful.

 My mother has the gift of hospitality, and I've got some friends who are Pinterest poster children when it comes to welcoming people into their home. Hosting can seem so intimidating. There's the fine art of getting all the food to be ready on time...or the decor...or...or...or...it never ends.

But the truth is, most people don't care about fancy. They just care about feeling at home and being loved. And I'm not sure there's an easier time of year to host friends than the fall. Decorations are taken care of, thankyouverymuch, God - and food isn't much harder. Build a fire and roast some hot dogs! That's what we did that night.

It doesn't have to be huge to be successful.

 Have a small house? Tiny yard? Think that means no one will want to come over? Think again! We don't have a huge home, and since it's over 100 years old, it's also not laid out in a very open floor plan conducive to entertaining in the way that seems most popular today. But you know what? It's okay! We don't need to have a dozen people over to have fun and exchange blessings with our friends.

That night, there were just the four of us, nestled around a tiny wrought iron patio table, eating off plastic dishes on clearance aisle placemats, with our feet bumping into each other under the table. But it was such a beautiful night of sharing, joy, and friendship. Friendship for four.

If you MUST be Pinteresty, know that it's okay to keep it to one project.

 Even though I was keeping it simple...I couldn't NOT do one little project. So this was my one creative nod to the night. Due to space constraints, we had no centerpiece on the table...and all the food was still its plastic wrapping when I delivered it to the patio. But this one little offering of fruit allowed me to fulfill my need to be creative without going overboard.

It's Okay to Let Guests Help.

 This was one of the to-die-for pics that I can't fully show you.

I was raised in a house where the hostess had ALL the work done before the guests arrived, so they could just walk in and sit down to eat. But I'm learning that it's okay to not have it all together when they arrive, and in some cases, it's okay to let them help.

So it was for us that night - we had a munchkin eager to learn how to roast hot dogs and Ryan was a great host and did all the teaching. And it turns out, that was the munchkin's favorite part of the whole night - being included in the cooking privileges.

Throw Yourself Into the Night.

 Of course the meaning of that sentence will vary depending on your audience. It might mean putting aside your hosting duties to sit and listen...or give advice...or cry and hug.

For us, that night, it meant walking away from refilling drinks and jumping headlong {literally} into games of catch.

What a great night we had! I didn't experiment with any new recipes to share...I don't have any jaw-dropping tablescapes to show...but I did have a memory-making night with my friends. I watched them get to enjoy friendship with Ryan in a brand new way. I got to watch him embrace people dear to me. We laughed...we played...we ate...we had home around a wrought iron table. It was tiny, it was impulsive, it was laid-back.

It was imperfectly perfect.