One Dozen Years of Love!

 

            The morning of our wedding, twelve years ago now, Ryan and I sat on the beach in Siesta Key and wrote each other a love letter. 

            We rolled them up, tucked them into glass jars, and one year later, on our first anniversary, we pulled out the letters, read them, wrote new letters, and rolled them up to hide away in the glass jars. We have repeated this on each anniversary, and for the last several years, I’m pretty sure each letter begins with “What an unexpected year!”

            And this year will be no different.

            I shared with you a few days ago (in the Thanksgiving post) about what a beautiful and yet difficult year it has been. I said then – and say again today – that I could not and would not have wanted to do this year with anyone other than Ryan. He really is the BEST life-adventure-partner. If you’re having a great day, you want Ryan by your side, because he will celebrate it to the max and somehow figure out a way to make it even better than it already is. And if you’re having the worst day ever, you want Ryan by your side, because he will bring you a Blizzard, listen to your venting, and figure out a way to make you laugh without making you angry that he made you laugh. (That’s an actual skill – and very few people have it.)

            To celebrate our twelfth anniversary today, I want to honor some of my favorite things about the last dozen years with Ryan. Does it surprise anyone that I’m using the word twelve to offer this tribute?

TRADITIONS

            One of my favorite things about being married to Ryan is that he doesn’t merely put up with my love of tradition, but he embraces and celebrates it right alongside me. I love the traditions we have made over the last dozen years: decorating our Shaffer Story Trees and reliving each memory as we hang the ornaments, sleeping beside the tree on Christmas Eve, toasting to a new year with sparkling grape juice, celebrating every monthiversary (144 of those celebrations and counting, now!), observing birthday and anniversary celebrations ON THE DAYS, making sure we take time away for a birthday and anniversary trip at the very least each year – and sometimes another little getaway here or there, buying ornaments to commemorate special events, and taking pictures of EVERYTHING.

WORK

            It has been a wild privilege to work alongside Ryan in both specific and general ways. We loved the chance to officially be coworkers when we were at WillowBridge, but even though that only spanned two of our dozen years together, we have purposed to work together no matter what our vocations might be. I have been his unofficial coworker in nearly every single job he’s had since we’ve been married, and he’s done the same for me. We’ve worked together in ministry in the church and we’ve worked together to make our houses into homes. He’s always been my favorite coworker, regardless of the capacity.

EVERYDAY

For as much as I love the big, grand adventures, I also love the everyday life we’ve lived. We’ve made bread, gone for walks, trained for races, raised a puppy, studied the Bible, prayed together, cuddled up to watch TV shows, tended a garden, made houses into homes, cooked together, cheered each other on, cheered each other up, grocery shopped, eaten every possible meal together, done laundry together, and so much more. Life is more about the every day than the grandness, and Ryan makes every day fun to live. We have a rhythm and routine after twelve years, and he’s my safe place, my comfort, and my home. Life wasn’t bad when I was single, but he just makes it so much better.

LOVE AND LIKE

            Mark Lowry said in a comedy sketch that there’s a difference between loving and liking someone. You might cry at someone’s funeral, but you don’t want to go on vacation with them. (Ha! Truth!) I am incredibly grateful to both love and like Ryan and the chance to spend every day with him. I love him with my whole heart. Everything about who he is as a person is easy to love, and I do. But I also really, really like him. I genuinely enjoy being around him – whether we are doing something or just sitting together in the quiet in the same room. People told me marriage was hard work and honestly not that much fun, but Ryan has proved that to be completely wrong. He makes it easy and fun to both love and like him and our days together!

VACATIONS

            I love it that we have come to desire making memories over buying stuff, and I love the trips we’ve been able to take in twelve years together. When we put up our Story Tree last month and read the recaps of all our trips, we kept stopping to say, “We really have had so much fun, haven’t we?” We’ve visited many Indiana counties, a whole bunch of states, and we’ve had some really fun(ny) adventures along the way. You remember the ziplining. And the waterfalls. And the whitewater rafting. Never, in my single years, would I have guessed that I’d have had the adventures we have packed into a dozen years. I might have dreamed it, but I truly never thought I’d see such dreams come true.

ENCOURAGEMENT

            The Bible admonishes husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and in my mind, part of that includes encouragement. Ryan has been one of my greatest encouragers over the last twelve years, and I am so thankful for it. He has encouraged me to pursue every single dream of my heart and to follow the Lord into every calling He has placed on my life. He’s encouraged me when life circumstances have threatened to swallow me whole. He’s encouraged me to eat healthier, get stronger, do things that feel scary, and not give up when I want to quit. He has encouraged in words, actions, prayers, and even the look in his eyes. (He sits where I can see him every single time I speak so I can glance his way whenever I start to feel weary or discouraged. His eyes speak volumes when I need a pick-me-up!)