Love in the Little Things

Right after I turned forty, we seriously cranked up our attention to our diet and exercise. Yes. Forty was a wake-up call. I didn't want to keep slowly regaining what I had worked so hard to lose a couple of years ago. 

So we made changes. We went full force back into clean eating, ramped up the exercising again, and I also made some additional changes to my eating habits. Among other things, I eliminated my morning and evening snack. 

I don't think you can possibly understand how much I loved my evening snack. Ryan and I ate a little mug of cereal every single night. In our defense, we ate pricey, healthy cereal with the best milk we can afford. If we were going to eat, we were going to try to make it the best version of a possibly questionable decision. I looked forward to my evening cereal with all that is in me, and that is not an exaggeration. I also just loved this little tradition we had. For me it was as much about the experience of sharing a snack with Ryan as the food itself.

And then I had to kick it to the curb. I missed it. I still miss it. When I watched all the tutorial videos about the new eating plan, the lady told me that after a while I would be so satisfied by vegetables at dinner, I wouldn't be hungry for my evening snack. (She'd clearly never met me.) She also told me crunchy vegetables are every bit as rewarding as chips. I eat the vegetables instead of the chips now, but I'll go on record as saying I miss my chips with my whole heart.

So we've been going at these new habits for almost exactly four months now, and in that time, I've lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 12-13 pounds. I have more to lose, but I've learned to be content to not lose it all this week and actually enjoy my days as it comes off in a slower, steadier pattern.

Despite the great progress and the fact that my clothes aren't cutting off my air passage anymore, I miss all my beloved foods that I gave up and cut back. 

And literally every single night, when we go to bed, I look at the clock and tell Ryan how long we have until Dan's opens.

Dan's, you say?

Yes, Dan's. The official name is Dan's Variety Bakery. It's a little local donut shop that everyone calls Dirty Dan's. It opens at 1:00 in the morning and is usually sold out by the time the work crowd reports for duty. It's pretty popular with the teen crowd, since the only other things in this city open at that hour are Steak n Shake and the emergency room. (IWU students even drive over from Marion to get Dan's donuts in the middle of the night.)

So every night, we'll go to bed and I'll say something like "Two hours until Dan's opens." And then I try to ignore my rumbling tummy and just fall asleep so I can wake up and have breakfast. (Not a Dan's breakfast. A yogurt/granola/berries breakfast.)

Two nights ago, we went to bed and I announced the time until Dan's opens. I curled up and sailed off to dreamland. At 5:00, Ryan shook me awake and said, "Hey. Wanna go to Dan's?"

WHAT?!!! Is it Christmas?????

I told him we didn't have to. I knew it was cutting short his night of sleep and he had a long day of work ahead. But he got up and ready, so I jumped out of bed to go with him. 

I looked horrible. Bedhead is so much more attractive on the Hallmark movie girls than it is on me. 

But we crawled in the car and drove to Dan's. 

They had already sold out of some things, but they had plenty of options for us. We nodded at the gentleman sitting in the corner drinking coffee and made our selections. 

Even sneaked a couple of donut holes on the way home. 

You know what I loved about this? It wasn't about the donuts, although let's just pause for a moment to observe the joy of Dan's Donuts in the pre-dawn hours. 

(Moment.)

I loved it that Ryan has supported and encouraged me every single step of the way these last four months of hard work. I love it that he's eaten a billion meals that were way healthier than he probably needed, but he wanted to eat what I'm eating. I love it that he's worked out with me just to hold me accountable. I love it that he's given me permission to have treats now and then so I don't give up and fail entirely. 

And I love it that he set his alarm for the middle of the night to surprise me with a Dan's date. It was about being seen and loved way more than a chocolate frosted custard donut.

(Go big or go home, people.)

Thank you, Ryan, for loving me with the little things - like Dan's donuts at five in the morning.

And if you want to go back right now and get more...they're open again....just sayin'. 

:)