I Love You And I Like You

I know I normally only tell you about books on Saturdays, so please do not think that today is Saturday and you can stay home for fun! Or that you need to go to church tomorrow! :)

I did some shopping online a couple of weeks ago - looking for gifts for upcoming birthdays and such - and I stumbled across a book written by Steve and Annie Chapman, called I Love You and I Like You.

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Let me just tell you about my deep appreciation for Steve and Annie Chapman. Many years ago - I'm sure at least ten or more - they came to the church I attended and did a one-day marriage seminar on a Saturday. I was single, money was tight for me, but there was something that nagged at my soul, telling me I needed to be in that seminar, whether or not I could afford it, and whether or not I had a husband. So I sacrificed the money, registered, and went. I sat by myself in a pew, surrounded by couples and quite frankly feeling pretty much like an idiot.

I cannot imagine how my half of our marriage would look today if I had not spent that Saturday in that pew. If I had not forked over money I didn't have to learn from these two passionate champions of marriage.

I'm not saying I would be a failure as a wife. I probably wouldn't. But I'm saying my transition into marriage and certainly my attitude toward it shifted dramatically after spending the day under the instruction of this duo.

Before I left that day, I spent more money I didn't have purchasing a considerable handful of their books, hoping I could take even more wisdom home. And that turned out to be another wise investment.

So I was surprised to see this book online because I thought I owned about everything they'd written. {Later, I learned it's a re-release of a book they previously published, but they gave it a new title. I have the original, but this one has updates in it that I'd not read before.} I snatched it up quickly - and I bought a second copy for some friends of ours. Ryan asked me if I should have maybe read it first before buying it for others. I assured him that I knew based on the character of the authors that the book was worth sharing even if I hadn't read it.

And even though I later learned I'd read an earlier version of this, I still hold to what I told Ryan. If the Chapmans wrote it, that's all I need to know. I'll read it. 

Here's what I love about Steve and Annie Chapman. They've been doing this marriage thing for about four decades, and they're transparent about their successes and failures. They don't claim to be experts or to have all the answers. But they'll let you look right in on the good and bad of their journey. They'll suggest what worked for them in case it might work for you, too. They're funny, they're passionate, and they're real people. And when you are done reading any book they've written, you walk away with the hope that this can work for you too, even if you have to tweak the details a bit to fit your situation.

They're committed to teaching you to be a servant spouse and a good friend spouse. They get it: life is hard. Schedules are busy, money is tight, kids are needy, people get tired. They've lived all that. Sickness and dashed dreams and failed attempts at perfection - they've been there. But they've allowed those mountains and valleys to push them to be great communicators, to reach for intimacy {which is different than sex}, to protect their vulnerabilities, to have fun, to be a team, to serve, and to study one another to learn how to do all of that better. Still. Forty years later.

Ryan and I are a great team, I believe. We are best friends, we have a blast together, and I think for still being newbies at this marriage thing, we're doing a good job. But we still want to learn. We still want input and teaching from those who are a bit farther down the road. People like Steve and Annie.

I Love You and I Like You offers their insights on how to be married {and therefore "required" to love} and still be friends {who like each other and genuinely WANT to be together}.  The stories they tell still resonate, even if some of them are stories from years ago.

The book is easy to read, full of stories, sprinkled with humor, and stitched together with truly practical advice that you can implement in your marriage - or save for your someday marriage. I adore this book. I can't wait to study it in a group with some friends of ours, so we can all learn how to have even better marriages. Not textbook better. Daily life better. I can't wait to buy more copies to share with engaged couples and newlyweds and those starting to falter in the "I like you" category.

Steve and Annie Chapman, thank you for being a constant in your own marriage for forty-plus years, and thank you for the sacrifices of time and vulnerability you've made to teach others of us. Our marriage is richer because of you. Thanks for writing this book so many years ago and for updating it to make it available to me now. It's a keeper.