Waiting for Rewards...and Other Heart Challenges

Yesterday we had a really great guest on Mid-Morning. We've had her on before...Dr. Michelle Watson...but yesterday she joined us to talk about singleness. Michelle is in her mid-fifties and she's never been married.

She's dated...she's prayed for a husband...she's longed for someone to share her life with...and for reasons only the Lord knows, this prayer hasn't been granted in the way she would have planned or hoped.

Michelle is beautiful, vibrant, leads a full life, and has found a way to leave her longings in the care of the Lord, which is REALLY hard to do. I remember. I lived in that place for many years, though granted, not as long as she has.

Her thoughts were so interesting, and she shared some of the typical comments she's received as a single girl. {If you're single, maybe you'll recognize some of these.} You seem so normal!! But you're so pretty! God must be finding the right one. On and on the comments have gone, and for a while, she was left to think she must be broken in some way because the Lord hadn't given her this desire of her heart.

As she shared, and as I sat listening...remembering my own single season...I realized it's been a while since I shouted out to my single sisters. I haven't forgotten you. Even in my love-struck life, I haven't forgotten the ache of the time that came before. So I hoped it would be okay if I just encouraged you today. {Some of these points are drawn from yesterday's show and some are just my own thoughts.}

* Last night, we had some music on while we worked, and John Waller's song While I'm Waiting played. I used to listen to that over and over when I was single. I wrote the words in my journal. And last night, in a whole DIFFERENT kind of season of waiting, I heard the words in a new way, and I found them just as pivotal as I did in days of yore. But the line I love most is...While I'm waiting...I will serve You. SO. IMPORTANT. Sweet sister, if you're waiting, don't give up serving. Serve your heart out, because it is true that when you are married, your time is prioritized differently and it can be hard to serve in the ways you're used to serving.

* Serving {or saving sex for marriage or choosing to court instead of date or any one of a host of options} isn't reward-worthy. By that, I mean that in this season, don't tell yourself that if you just serve genuinely enough, God will reward you with a husband. Or if you make all the right purity choices, you can collect your reward and move to the next part of life...etc. God honors service,  integrity, obedience, etc, but the motive for doing those things shouldn't be receiving a husband as a reward.

* It's okay to hurt. I cannot even tell you the depth of the ocean of tears I cried waiting for Ryan {before I even knew it was Ryan}. I hurt at night when I went to bed alone. I hurt on Sunday afternoons when I knew families were spending the day together and I was at home with my Polar Pop and my Lifetime movies. I hurt when I baked Christmas cookies alone. I hurt when my ex-boyfriend's birthday rolled around every year, and I was reminded that I didn't have anyone to spoil on a birthday. I hurt when I planned vacations on my own. I pushed forward in doing all those things anyway, because I wanted to live life to the fullest, but I didn't squelch the hurt. God gets the hurt, and He sure heard earfuls of mine!!

* When it gets overwhelming, think about the unknown beauty to come! Sometimes when it felt really hard to hear about another engagement or another wedding, I would remind myself that I still had all that joy ahead of me {or so I hoped!!}. I still had dreams unfulfilled I could look forward to - like my proposal, my bridal showers, my wedding planning, my honeymoon. Sometimes our dreams propel us in hope.

* Let God grow you. I wish I could just sit and tell you all the things that have served me well IN marriage because I had been through a hard time in singleness. Things I can understand or relate to in Ryan's life because of something similar I had in my own. Times when I can trust or try because of a foundation built for me in those years. God wastes nothing. Let Him build a foundation in you!

I love you girls so much...I appreciate all the emails you send to share your heart and your story. Keep being faithful. I have no idea what God has planned in the love story of your life, but I do know He honors and blesses the faithful souls!!

Much love!!

{PS - you single guys too!! I don't hear from as many of you, but I say the same things to you and you're just as welcome here!!}