Because Sometimes Life Stops

One of my good friends from church experienced a devastating loss in her family this past week. Her granddaughter died in a car accident...she was twenty-one.

I'll leave it at that, because it's not my family and not my story to tell, but I'll say that while no death is ever a good thing to hear about, this one was particularly gut-wrenching. My heart has been aching for the whole family, even though I don't know any of them (other than Pat) at all.

Sunday I sat two pews behind her, and right beside her sat her granddaughter's fiance and their seven month old daughter. She peeked over her dad's shoulder and her absolutely gorgeous eyes caught my yellow bulletin waving back and forth (because yes, I was having a heat stroke in February). She flashed a slobbery smile at me and gripped her chubby hand on his arm.

Church went on as it always does, and while we did stop to acknowledge the painful loss and to pray for the family, we sang songs and took up an offering and the microphone was passed around for members of the congregation to share announcements.

I watched the two of them as they alternated between wiping their eyes and handing puffy snacks to the baby, and I wanted to say it for them.

STOP. Just stop this service. Stop singing. Stop making announcements. Stop collecting money. Stop being normal because nothing is normal. I hurt and I need to know people hurt with me. Now. Not after church. Not at the funeral. Now.

...I remember the Sunday after sweet baby Carol died. How could they possibly sing to the beat of a drum when the heart of this baby girl ceased to beat and she hid somewhere in the ground, states away?

...I remember the Sunday after my sister's house and town blew away in a tornado and songs of praise blasted from the front. Why are we daring to enjoy the comforts of padded chairs and air conditioning when they have nothing? Nothing!

...I remember the Sunday(s) after Isaac left, when the sermons talked about trust and hope in God. Where is trust and hope in God when He let the man who said he loved me just walk away?
You ever feel that way? Life has stopped and you are offended that it would dare to go on around you? That others would be so bold as to smile and put gas in their cars and do laundry because everything just needs to STOP until you are okay again - which is likely to be never?

If you're there now...well, I wish I could give you a hug. I'd fix a big pot of coffee (and it's okay if you don't drink coffee - I'll take care of your share and fix you something else instead) and STOP with you.

Because sometimes you just need someone to realize that life needs to stop. That you really can't take another step even if it's good for you. Your world is spinning and you need to stop and find something to hang onto so you can take another step.

If you know someone who is there now...stop. Just stop. Stop with the hurting one and don't do anything except STOP.

And to Pat...if you need someone to STOP with you, I will do it. I'm so sorry your world has stopped. Hugs and many prayers...