The Roads Not Traveled

For a girl who honestly doesn't watch a lot of TV, I seem to be pulling a lot of blog fodder from the land of television this week.

Confession: I watch Grey's. Have from the beginning. And last night's show was an episode that explored what would have happened to the characters if they'd made different decisions with their lives. Don't worry, Phats, I'm not going to post a spoiler. :)

I spent the hour wondering the same sort of thing about my own life. Not in a longing sort of way. More in a curious sort of way.

* What if I'd gone to a different college?

* What if I'd stuck to my original plan of being a teacher?

* What if I'd chosen to not self-publish my book?

* What if I'd married my college boyfriend?

* What if I'd said no to being set up with Isaac?

* What if I'd stayed with what I knew...what what seemed "safe" and never submitted a resume to the station?

* What if I'd tried harder to learn to play the piano?

The answer to all those questions is....who knows? I might be living somewhere else...working in a totally different field...raising kids...sitting at a computer wondering what would have happened if I'd just gone to IWU, become a writer, taken a risk on publishing a book, waited for someone else, taken a chance on love even if it meant loss, risked a dream, and...well...I'd probably still be wondering what it would be like to play the piano well. That would have been unlikely to go any other way.

This I do know. I love this life. I love all its quirks and oddities. I love the mountaintops I've seen and the valleys I've crossed. I love the lessons I've learned that have filled journal after journal. I love the gifts and what I've learned from the trials.

If you'd shown me a snapshot of this life back when I was fifteen, I never would have guessed it would be mine. Never.

God's writing = way better than mine.