A Little Give and Take

Yesterday I trekked to Fort Wayne to visit the dentist. Again. :) I have roughly six more months left in my two year dental rehab program, and I'm hoping hoping hoping they'll be able to declare me well by then!

{If you're new here, back in August of 2014, I had a five hour periodontal surgery, and I've had to go to the dentist every three months since then for checkups. I had an advancing periodontal disease, and through the surgery, they were able to get me on the road to recovery!}

I was so grateful for a good day to travel for my checkup yesterday, especially after some snow and ice on the roads in the last couple of weeks. I packed up the car with coffee and snacks and extra coats and hats, and then I called my mom to chat while I drove.

Just like the commuting days of old.

Before I went to the dentist, I stopped by the station to say hi. I didn't get to see everyone, but it was fun to get some hugs and swap stories and see my friends. They asked how I'm doing, what I'm up to, and they were kind to tell me they missed me.

And I miss them too. It's strange to transition from being in a place full of people and their stories to being home with a cat whose constant story is "CAN YOU WATCH ME EAT?" It's strange to give up up hearing the joys and struggles of a work crew that felt more like family. It's strange to miss out on the celebrations of their lives and only read about them from afar.

But as I told Mom during our talk yesterday, I am confident that I'm in the right place for this season. For as much as I miss what I left behind, I adore what I see before me. I love being able to do meaningful work throughout the day that relieves the stress of Ryan's evenings and weekends. I love being able to write and read books. I love so many other opportunities that we've been able to enjoy because of this change in seasons.

God is opening up even more doors, and even though many of them are not open wide enough yet for me to see through them to the other side, I'm excited for the prospect of what I might find when I step through.

I'm thankful for the courage to be able to offer what I had in exchange for what He has for me. It's worth it, you know...the give and take. The offering of a sacrifice and the blessing He offers in return.

200,000 Actual Miles

It was a big week for the Bekah-Mobile!

Yep! We hit 200,000 actual miles on that little thing. What. In. The. World!!

I actually missed the milestone. Ryan was driving it at the time, but he was a dear and paid attention to the odometer and pulled over to take a picture of the momentous occasion! {What a good husband!!}

This little car has been through a lot with me. I bought it back in March of 2003, after trading in a little Neon I'd owned for two years.

I'd purchased the Neon straight out of college, using the title to a little silvery Ford Escort as a down payment. My parents had purchased that Escort when I was in elementary school and it became "my" car when I got my license. It carried me to college - with a quarter of my stuff. The rest was distributed to other cars and all of it was entirely too much for one person to need in a dorm room. By the time I was done with college, little Lloyd {that's what I named it} had developed a leaky radiator, causing me to haul around an old Gatorade bottle filled with radiator fluid. Every time I drove it, I had to pop the hood and fill the radiator. I was the coolest kid on campus every Sunday morning, popping that hood in my dress and heels before I could go to church.

So my parents gave me the title and let me use it to buy the Neon. I didn't particularly care what kind of car I got. My requirements were a steering wheel, a cup holder, and air conditioning. The Neon had all those things. But I'd read that they tended to start falling apart around 60,000 miles, so before we reached that ominous milestone, I wanted to trade it in.

My requirements on the second car were a CD player, TWO cup holders, a steering wheel, air conditioning, and please oh please do not let it be white. I was so over driving a white car.

And that's how the little white car came to be mine.

I got my CD player. I got two cup holders - three, in fact. Of course I got the steering wheel and the air conditioning. And shiny white paint.

Sigh.

I would have waited, but the price was right, the mileage was low, the history was good, and it was available that very night. So I signed the papers and drove the new Bekahmobile off the lot. Had no idea it would end up becoming my car for over a decade. It's almost a teenager to me now. And for the most part, it's been good to me.

We've gone on road trips, we commuted for four years, and we hauled a lot of people, groceries, and potted plants. That car drove over many miles during my personal wilderness five years ago, and it was a safe little haven for me to park in while I journaled and sobbed over life. It's heard a lot of phone calls, had its wheel squeezed thin during snow and ice driving, and received more than a few glares when it broke down upon occasion.

I never dreamed I'd get 200,000 out of this car. And now it's like a game to see how many MORE we can get from it.

It may have been the dreaded white paint I didn't want, but it certainly has been a blessing of a vehicle for the past almost thirteen years. I have demanded much from it, and while it's protested upon occasion, it has served me well.

Good work, little Bekahmobile. Good work.

Bre's Birthday Bash

Last Saturday, Ryan's family got together to celebrate his sister's birthday. Bre has one of the biggest, most compassionate hearts of anyone I know. She pays attention to people and their stories. She learns them, she feels what they feel, and she puts energy into caring about things that most people would overlook entirely.

It was fun to celebrate her, and while we do that every year, this time there were a few more people who joined in with us!

{Photo credit for this one goes to Ryan's mom.} This is Bre with Ryan and their other sister, Lori. Ryan's brother had to work that night, so he's not in the picture.

Ryan's mom made pizzas - like from scratch. Dough and everything. While pizza is not on my current eating plan, I let myself have one little middle piece with minimal crust, and I have to say, i don't think I've ever eaten a more delightful piece of pizza  IN MY LIFE.

And while we're talking about delights I'm not supposed to have, we might as well talk about the piece of cake, too. Our sister-in-law Megan is quite the cake baker, and she made a delicious cake, which our niece helped decorate:

For the record, THAT was not my piece of cake. I just had a sliver of what you see above.

I love catching glimpses of Ryan and his grandpa deep in conversation, mulling over who-knows-what:

Ryan's mom discovered she was out of birthday candles, so while we sang, Bre just pretended to blow them out:

And then she opened her gifts. We gave her the Streams in the Desert Bible. I love that devo book so very much. I've studied it two different years so far, and both times it was so perfectly suited for the days of that year. So when I found you could purchase the devo book tucked right into the Bible, it was perfect.

Eventually the kiddos got in on the fun. They love to help open presents!

Even the big kids.

Jenna caught me up on life in her world, when she was done helping with presents:

And that was the night! We stayed later than we should have, since we still had to work out when we got home - AND we had church the next morning, but it was worth it. A good time celebrating a wonderful sister!

The Dignity Project, Part Two

If you're feeling heavy-hearted, we hope you'll get a good giggle out of this week's podcast. And at the end, I talk a bit more about the Dignity Project, which has been the subject of the blog yesterday and today!

 Click to listen

If you missed yesterday's blog post, go check it out, because it explains more about what you're getting ready to read. I promised I would bring you some tips for hosting your own party with a purpose if you and some friends want to jump on board with The Dignity Project to help others!

1. Location. Angi reserved her church fellowship hall/gym for this party, and that worked really well, because there were plenty of tables, chairs and outlets, as well as elbow room and overhead lighting. If you don't have a space similar to this available to you, you can certainly do this at home, but make sure you have things like folding tables and chairs, power strips, extension cords, lamps, etc.

2. Pitching in. Angi requested that everyone who came bring a minimum $5.00 donation to help cover the cost of the supplies. Depending on how big your group is or how many of these you want to make, you might want to even request a higher donation. In addition, she asked for participants to bring supplies like sewing machines, scissors, rotary blades, cutting mats, etc. It might be helpful, if you're organizing such an event, to get an idea of what people are going to bring so you know what needs to be filled in. Angi had a table with spare supplies on it like thread, measuring tape, etc.

3. Buy ahead. Since the church wasn't particularly close to any craft supply store, Angi did a great job of making sure we had adequate supplies on hand before the day of the event. She'd gone to the store and purchased the fabric and other supplies so when everyone arrived, they could launch right into working. It helps to have a checklist of what you need and a mental goal of how many packets you want to make, so you know how much you need! {Planning a bit in advance also gives you a chance to collect coupons or watch for sales so you can get the most for your money!}

4. Make ahead. The beauty of this set-up is the chance to create work stations, where different people can do different things. Because it's an assembly line of sorts, it also makes the work go faster if you can have some steps of the project completed before the work day begins, so everyone at every station can start at the same time. It's not required, of course, but it was nice to have people immediately begin to sew, even while others were still cutting out new material.

5. Create stations. Angi had something for everyone, regardless of skill level. When people arrived, she asked what they might want to do and helped direct them to something that suited their skills. There were also opportunities for people to switch stations partway through the day, so if they wanted to learn how to do each step while they had people there to assist them, they could do that on this day and then they could take what they learned and make the entire project from start to finish on their own if they wanted.

6. Have some experts. A couple of the women in the group were particularly skilled at sewing and while perhaps they didn't have the most productive day, they were able to readily answer questions and offer advice to those who needed additional assistance. It made the day flow more smoothly because they were able to troubleshoot! And of course, when all else fails, ask Google! The group working on the snaps were struggling with the particular kind of snaps they used, so they watched a tutorial on YouTube and immediately figured out the problem and moved ahead to work efficiently!

7. Create awareness. Although most people there were familiar with the purpose of the Dignity Project, Angi made sure to go through an overview of the impact our work had, reminding us that what we did was important and meaningful. It was good to be reminded in the moment of why we were there and how we were making a difference.

8. Have food and have fun! Everyone is more productive when they're full, right? Angi had a good supply of coffee, water, hot chocolate, and a warm, delicious lunch to keep us all happy while we worked! {If you don't want to take on the work and expense of all the food on your own, you could make this part of what people pitch in.} Above all - have fun while you work! Work in pairs or teams and get to meet new people while you work!

The Supplies
Here are the supplies you'll want to have on hand to make these packets from start to finish:
* The pattern
* Sewing machines/extra needles/bobbins
* Regular Scissors
* Pinking Shears
* Cutting Mats
* Rotary cutters/extra blades
* Thread
* Regular fabric
* PUL fabric {A water resistant fabric}
* Flannel
* Snaps
* Velcro
* Measuring tape
* Markers/Pens/Pencils
* Straight Pins


The Stations/Jobs
Here are the different stations and jobs you can assign. People can do more than one of these tasks, or if you have a bunch of people at your party, they can each do one thing:
* Cutting strips of flannel for the absorbent liners
* Cutting circles of regular fabric for the base piece
* Cutting circles of PUL {the water resistant fabric} for the base piece
* Cutting strips of PUL for the packets the women can use to store the supplies
* Cutting strips of fabric that hold the liners in place
* Sewing the edges of the flannel liners
* Sewing the circles together {top, middle, bottom}
* Sewing the storage packets
* Sewing the strips that hold the liners
* Sewing the strips onto the circles
* Cutting off excess thread from all pieces that have been sewn
* Folding the liners
* Putting one liner inside the strips
* Adding snaps or velcro to the base piece
* Adding snaps or velcro to the storage packet
* Stacking two spare liners alongside one base piece that holds a liner
* Stuffing the entire packet together in the holder
* Supply runner {to move completed pieces onto the next station/get supplies for those who run out}
* Troubleshooter {to help with sewing/construction issues}
* Food/snacks {always need someone to make sure the food and drink table is well stocked and meals are ready}
* Shopper {if you run out of something and need to make a store run, have a designated person to go get whatever is needed}

If you have any questions about the project or how Angi organized it, let me know! If I don't know the answer, I'm happy to check with her! And if you want to know how to contact Jade directly about partnering with her on the Dignity Project, their contact information can be found on this page.

ALSO! One of my friends who owns a sewing shop here in town made a FABULOUS video tutorial on how to make these. You can watch it here if you're curious about the specifics of the sewing parts! She also has a page with the other helpful hints that you can find here. 

The Dignity Project, Part One

This past weekend, I had a chance to witness the most beautiful blend of encouragement and conviction I have seen in a long time.

Maybe you've heard of the Dignity Project, and if not, you may have heard of a similar project for some other region of the world. You can click on the link above to read the story, but the synopsis is this: Nathan and Jade Metz have been serving as missionaries in Uganda for the past year. As they've learned more about the culture of the area where they serve, Jade discovered that many women have to shut down from life every month when they have their periods, because they can't afford pads/tampons/other supplies. So for that week, they're stuck at home, the school-aged girls can't attend classes, and they do the best they can with old scraps of clothing.

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But let's face it, ladies, you know an old scrap of clothing really is no help in the throes of that literal mess. Jade became so burdened for these women and the embarrassment and isolation they felt every month that she started The Dignity project. Women {wherever in the world} who have the means to do so have been gathering supplies to make reusable pads that are sewn, packaged, and sent to Uganda, where Jade distributes them to women in need. {Here is an update post she wrote at the end of October to show you just how much of a difference these make!}

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One of my friends, Angi, has a HUGE heart for other people, and this ministry really struck her. She loves people, she loves projects, and so of course it only made sense that the two would come together and she would organize a day for women here in our town to come together with whatever gifts and talents they possessed, and have a work day to make these packages for Uganda. Saturday was actually her second such work day, but I wasn't able to make it to the first one.

{Excuse our appearance...it was Saturday. Our day off.}

I wanted to tell you about it, because like Angi reminded us on Saturday, this was just a day of fellowship and crafting for all of us. For the women who receive what we made, this is a true life-changer. This allows them to get out and continue living their lives, uninterrupted, without shutting down for an entire week.

I don't know about you {and we try to keep this blog from teetering on TMI} - but that week for me is always just awful in and of itself. I feel fat, I feel ugly, I hurt, and I just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. {And sometimes I do!} But I cannot imagine, on top of all that just comes naturally with this delightful event, the added stress of being homebound. Of missing things I want to participate in. Of feeling trapped. Of worrying that someone will know. I can't imagine it.

For us it's an inconvenience, to be sure. But discomfort aside, we don't miss a beat. They miss it all. 

Tomorrow I want to tell you how you can organize a day like this with your friends, or your church group, or your own family. Angi has a great system down and has graciously offered for me to pass her tips and ideas on to you. But in the  meantime, let me just tell you what I loved about this day.

There are people who make these packages all by themselves at home, and that is certainly doable! But I am not blessed with sewing skills, so this would probably end up frustrating me right into quitting if I tried to do it on my own. But when you come together as a group, there really can be a job for everyone. I went on Saturday to ask questions, to take notes, to overhear conversation, and to take pictures. But in between those moments, I found little things I could do here and there to help. So I promise if you do this as a group, you can find a little something for everyone to do.

This was a purposeful party. Throughout my time with these women, I heard much laughter. I heard storytelling. I saw new friendships being formed and old friendships rekindled. I saw women learning new things and working together as a team for the greater good. We drank coffee and ate lunch and stayed inside from the bitter, icy elements raging beyond the walls. It was fun. It was encouraging. It was no inconvenience. And yet because of what we did, women on the other side of the world can learn for the first time what it means to NOT be inconvenienced just because of a little old period.

So come back tomorrow. I'll tell you more about how to organize a day like this for yourself. A party with a purpose.

 {Photo opp with the lovely Holland ladies. I went to church with these two back in the day and appreciate them so much!}

 {Surprised to get to see my dear friend and former Financial Aid Director there! I have missed her!}

{This girl was my student once upon a time, but we won't talk about that because neither of us are old now. And for the record, she can sing like an angel.}

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday was so beautiful, with fresh snow on the ground. Pretty to look at, but a MESS to drive in, so I was thankful that it was Sunday and we didn't have to commute anywhere! I worked SO HARD all afternoon to finish the last chronological scrapbook for 2015, and I finished it!! That night we {finally, 10 days late!} went through our 2015 box of memories and enjoyed sorting through them and reading the thoughts we'd written a year ago on New Year's Eve!

* Monday was so messy on the roads, so I prayed Ryan to work while giving much thanks that I'm no longer driving to Fort Wayne every day. I enjoyed the beauty of the snow from INSIDE the house. I made a fancier-than-usual dinner of veggie stuffed chicken and more veggies {I'm turning into a veggie, I think} and because it was SO COLD, I worked out in my fuzzy socks. It was hard for our house to keep up with the frigid temps! Thank goodness this isn't supposed to be a Polar Vortex year!

* Tuesday, I moved back into my office to begin working from there again, and Braeya was excited because that meant she could resume her neighborhood watch program. I worked hard on editing the manuscript I just finished - and did some reading in a novel as well. When Ryan got home, we hunkered down under the electric blanket, and Braeya hunkered on top of it. When that thing is on, she will NOT leave it.

* Wednesday was cold and snowy still, but we did have a stunning sunrise that I appreciated from my perch at my desk! Because the cold continued, that day I worked out in warm clothes AND my bathrobe AND my slippers. LOL!! Ryan got a new hat that day - one of the girls at work made it for him, and he loves it!

* Thursday was the first day I got out of the house all week. It had just been too nasty before then. I met a friend for lunch and felt like a real person in real clothes with my hair done. Much to my shock, my scrapbook I'd just finished on SUNDAY actually arrived in the mail that day, so my 2015 regular book collection is complete! After work, Ryan and I went to look for sales, and I found a great long-sleeved workout shirt that, with coupons and sales, we got for $1.87. BOOM.

* Friday morning, I grabbed this picture of a beautiful sunrise, and literally five minutes later, the sky was overcast and stayed that way all day. I was glad I captured it! I did lots of chores on Friday, including menu planning. A good little day, capped off by a Starbucks date and a movie rental that we could watch all curled up in the fat chair!

* Yesterday I attended a ministry project event that I plan to tell you more about this week; the work it does is both creative and much needed, I believe. It was good to be part of the day and see friends I haven't seen in so long! And last night, we celebrated Ryan's sister's birthday with his family. His mom made homemade {delicious, I might add} pizza and we had cake and ice cream and enjoyed a laid-back evening together!

The Saturday Six

One.

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This post written by a father whose daughter was stillborn, is powerful. Goose-bump inducing truths and reminders.

Two.

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One of the mantras of the workout program we've been doing the past seven weeks is that change happens one pound at a time. {Too bad we want it to happen more like one pound a minute, right?} But if you're applying the same kind of pressure to spiritual growth that you're applying to weight loss, you might also be encountering some discouragement in that department! Loved these words from Kelly Minter about growth and change happening one page at a time.  

Three.

My friend Amy sent me this song by sister duo Alanna Story last week. I love the melody, I love the lyrics, and I wanted to share it with you. 

Four.

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In the writing I've done in the last few weeks, I've taken trips back to my teen years, which is never a place I willingly go {and I'm sure a few of you out there could give me a hearty amen on that thought}. Part of what I hated about that time of life was feeling the hurt of others who made life hard or made me doubt who I am. And much like Crystal Stine talks about in this post, those feelings don't go away as easily as we might imagine they will just because we become adults!

Five.

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I am about to do a second cleaning of my closet and this time my jewelry gets a run-through as well. I really need a better system for storing it, because while I don't have a lot of it, I know I don't wear even half of what I have because I can't SEE it. I think I like this system - do you have another idea I should consider??

Six.

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I really enjoy watching medical dramas, but sometimes I have to be careful how much of that sort of thing I take in, because I edge toward some hypochondria and can be sick with all sorts of things by the end of the hour! And on top of that, sometimes the sub-storylines take crazy turns that I know I shouldn't be filling my mind with, so I just don't watch them like I used to. But my love for that kind of show is what drew me to read Step by Step, the second book in the Crisis Team series, written by former ER nurse Candace Calvert.

I didn't even know medical romance was a genre, so this was new to me, and it was an interesting change of pace from other books I've read.

The book centers around ER nurse Taylor Cabot, whose husband died in an accident three years earlier. Taylor has been working diligently through a "survival list" she created - a list she hopes will put her back on the path to some sense of normalcy. Included in the list was moving to San Diego to start fresh, and in that transition, she met a handsome plastic surgeon who finds himself drawn to her and pursuing her.

Also a member of a crisis team, Taylor's attempts to work through her list are skewed when an old friend and fellow team member, Seth Donovan, shows up in town to train new team members. His arrival stirs up all sorts of emotions and new information about her past and her husband's accident, and all of it threatens to completely unravel her carefully constructed checklist.

You know I love learning from fiction {because it's more fun than studying textbooks!} and this book teaches - through story - so much about what it's like to be on the front lines of crisis moments. It gave me a new appreciation for the personal heartache such responders go through as they reach out to the hurting. And much like TV drama, the book was also sprinkled with medical terminology. Interestingly enough, I found that part to be more distracting in print than it is on screen. {I think because I don't know what any of it means and on screen it's sort of just filler information while I watch people work, but in the book, it is the main event on that page and reminds me of how much I don't know about such things!} Even so, the book is not so filled with the jargon that you lose the story completely.

The suspense is very low and casual at the beginning, but builds throughout the book, becoming key toward the end. I thought the characters were easy to get to know, and I appreciated that that Candace didn't smooth things over in the conflict that existed among the hospital staff. We all know that sometimes co-workers are just hard to work with and she didn't make it all nice and pretty just because it was in a book. The friction between them was believable and not neatly resolved for the sake of the story. Even in that, I appreciated the strong presence of faith, Scripture, and the gospel woven throughout.

If you like medical dramas, and you are interested in a book that offers you that kind of story without all the side stories that are not so Christ-honoring, check out this book and series! {NOTE: I realized after reading the book and writing the review that this one actually doesn't release until February 1! I don't normally get them before the release date, so I'm ahead of the game! But you can always pre-order online if you want to make sure you don't forget!}

Thanks, Tyndale, for sending a copy of this book my way in exchange for an honest review.