Baby Julia

Ohhhh people. Bekah is POOPED.

It's been a long week that has taken me from super excited to super melted down - and everywhere in between. Yesterday I finally garnered the courage to put up my Christmas decorations. Most of them, anyway. I could not manage to get started...it was just one of those things that was hard to do without Isaac.

Had I started earlier in the day like I should have...I would have been done by bedtime. But I kept stalling....rearranging 2 rooms of furniture, hauling furniture to the garage, ironing curtains (!?!?!!?!?! When I start ironing, you know I'm stalling.) So, alas, it is not done.

Meanwhile, last Saturday, I got to meet the newest baby in Bekahland. Baby Julia. She was born earlier this month and was MUCH bigger than her sister had been. Oh her poor Mama!! But big or small, she was all cuteness!

Anna and Julia...well, and Bekah.

We were trying to get Anna to give Julia a kiss. So it started with some asking nicely...

And then she decided to think about it for a while...

Okay....there you go!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm excited to get to watch Julia grow up and I'm sure she and Anna will have MUCH fun together!

Cookie Palooza

You know how I love to stamp?

It's for a reason.

My creative skills (when not prefabricated into a stamp)...are questionable at best. But I will give anything a shot! (Almost, anyway.) So my friend Angi asked if I'd like to go with her to a cookie decorating class at Country Kitchen SweetArt in Ft. Wayne. Well, sure! So Tuesday night, after the big book signing, we headed north to learn all about decorating cookies. (I should add here that Angi is a cake decorator - and a good one, at that. I'm a cake consumer. And a good one, at that.)

It was a really cool class. Three hours, sixteen things to bring home! Even though my results are a little on the embarrassing side...I thought I'd share them with you.


All the cookies had been made for us before we arrived. These two had also been iced with what we learned was "Run Sugar" icing. So we had this blank white canvas to work with. I had to draw Santa's face on him...which was laughable at best because I can't draw. I tried to copy off her cookie, but my pen (we used pens inked with food coloring) had a much fatter tip than the one she had used, so my Santa looked weird. I tried coloring his face peach (to separate it from his white beard) but he ended up looking sunburned with a bit of black outline mixed in. Woops. Oh well. And the ornament was painted with food coloring and water...and the silver part at the top was done with some edible powder mixed with lemon oil.

These were fun. We tried our hand at fondant icing. It was all pre-made and pre-colored for us. We just rolled it out and cut it in the shape of the cookie. We also used big plastic sheets that were embossed with patterns. If you rolled it over the fondant on one side, it impressed down into the fondant (which is what I did on the tree). If you rolled it using the other side, it pulled the pattern out of the fondant (which is what I did on the mitten and snowflake). These cookies were extra thick!!

Up close...the snowflake and the tree. I also used a gold dusting powder over the tree.

The mitten was my favorite. I used a little decorating tip to fluff up the white part to look like fur.

This was my favorite part, I think. We used a run sugar glaze, and it was about my most successful adventure. I was too chicken to try to mix up the glaze, but I used what other people had made to decorate these cookies. I did the white dots on the purple candy cane while the purple was still wet, so it all melded. If I'd had more time and could have let the purple dry before I did the white, the white would have given an extra dimension to the cookie.

I would just like to offer a disclaimer on my gingerbread people. When we decorated the cookies, there were all these different stations to visit and I went to this one last. By that time, most of the chocolate (the features were made using melted chocolate in tubes, not icing) was gone, so I didn't have a lot of options on colors. Plus...the chocolate had started to harden up a bit in the tubes from being out of the heat so long...and the tips were thick, so detail wasn't easy.

As a result...my girl looks like she's wearing meat. Even the instructor agreed. She said it looked like Lady Gaga's meat dress.

Yep.

We also tried our hand at using buttercream frosting...which I think I could perhaps come to sort of master...if I could try again. But alas...it was my first time with the decorating tips and bags...so...um....

The tree looked like something out of Monster's Inc.

The snowman crossed the line into inappropriate in a couple of ways.

And my poinsettia looks like a fire.

We dipped Ritz crackers in chocolate and then placed these little squares of plastic over them. They had some sort of edible design on one side and after the chocolate hardened, we pulled off the plastic and the design was on the cracker!

CUTEST project ever. These were snowflake cookies on sucker sticks that we dipped in blue chocolate. After it hardened, we piped white chocolate on it to make the detail. After THAT hardened, we dusted it with silver dust and stuck it down in a flower pot and covered the sticks with blue and white M&M's.

I think I might just try one or two new things at the Christmas baking festivities this year!!

IWU Bookstore Signing

Happy Thanksgiving! I think it's pretty appropriate that I have pictures to share with you from my last book signing...because the book is one of my greatest blessings this year. It has been a bright spot in the middle of the heartache!

This was the first time I saw my book on a shelf with other books...so exciting!

The IWU Bookstore offered a signing to me - which I really appreciated! It was over a couple hours at lunch on Tuesday - and they put me right there at the entrance at a little table!

I had a bunch of visitors - some already had books but just came to support me, which I absolutely appreciated! This is Angi (remember her from the crafting weekend?) and her husband Greg. He works in my office. He was a good boy and wore his nametag that day. I was a rebel. Anyway. They brought me a frappe to energize me. Oh WOW was it good. The most carameled frappe I've ever had!!

Another work buddy - and great support to me this year especially! This is Kristin. She happened to have the day off and was able to come through town to see me! Thanks for making the trip up, Kristin! I miss you this week at work!

This beautiful lady was my second grade Sunday School teacher! It was in her class that I learned to look up Bible verses. She was also a HUGE support to me as I grew up - really a champion for me at church. I appreciate her so much!

Jonathan dressed up for the occasion. Okay that's a lie. He had a recital. :) But doesn't it sound good to say he dressed up just for this? He, by the way, wins the prize for being the first person to ever buy my book! He ordered it online the minute I told him it was live and ready!

These lovely ladies are my work buddies. Sandee and Tammy work next door to me in the Business Office and believe me - they put up with a LOT of stories and drama.

I love this girl! This is Judy, my work neighbor. She already had a book, but she wanted me to sign her hand and she said she'd never EVER wash it. LOL!!!!!

My Dad was manning the front door to the bookstore throughout the signing and when the IWU President wandered by, he ended up inside buying my book. Dad SAYS he came in of his own accord...goodness I hope so! :)

Speaking of Dad...here are my parents with me. The book is dedicated to them! They sacrificed significantly so I could go to college to learn this craft!

Pat Travis...who works down in our Registrar's Office...and is a SWEET friend of mine. She was running behind in getting to the signing and actually called the bookstore to make sure I would stay until she got there. :) Love her!

My work has been beyond understanding this week while I've been out on book stuff. They're great and I'm so glad I had the chance to do a signing right there where I work!

Wilderness Wednesday

I said on the radio Monday, when asked about my blog...that writing about the wilderness was opening my eyes to things I couldn't see in the moments they were happening. This is just such a moment. I remember this day with frightening accuracy...and yet now I see it in a whole different light.

I was still in Tennessee...

Isaiah 8:17 – “I will wait for the Lord who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in Him.”
I did feel like God was hiding His face from me and I had to verbally remind myself to keep my trust in Him even when it hurt.

We headed to the pool that morning, but I wasn’t feeling well, so I stayed on the side of the pool and prayed, read, slept, and wrote:

This is hard. I’m at the pool now and struggling. Fear not…for I am with You...Do not be dismayed, for I AM YOUR GOD. I will strengthen you and help you and uphold you with my righteous right hand. I trust You, Jesus. Trust You with my man. Trust You to love us both. Trust You to work in both of us.
I came home from the pool and misery so engulfed my heart that I absolutely panicked. I excused myself to the front porch and tried to call Sue Ann. (Remember Grandma Sue?) She didn’t answer, and I believe now it was because God had another divine appointment all lined up. I called Julie Crandall, since she had just been emailing me…and she answered. I sobbed in her ear as I confessed my contact with Isaac the night before (he had been online and we chatted for a while even though God had told me to leave him alone) and my absolute inability to let go of him even though I knew it’s what I should do. She offered to pray for me and to keep me accountable in my time of trouble.

Once I stopped sobbing and hiccuping, I went back inside and retreated to the shower again. While I was in there, this hymn came from “nowhere” to my mind: “But we never can prove the delights of His love until all on the altar we lay; for the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows, are for them who will trust and obey.” I had to look up the words to that hymn, because I’d not heard it forever. And when I did, I found this verse I’d forgotten: “Not a burden we bear…not a sorrow we share, but our toil He doth richly repay; Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross, but is blest if we trust and obey." And I told God I would trust Him in all things – even as Isaac taught me to pray. (He almost always said that at some point in his prayers with me – “We trust You in all things.”)

And I journaled, …oh how precious our time earlier on the porch. My heart broke with the disappointment and the enormity of it all.
And I know I won’t even be able to recall it all, but You met me there on the porch – so beautifully and asked me again to trust You. To BELIEVE that my sweet man will come back to me, choose me, marry me, love me. You asked me to leave it with You and to trust You completely. Lord, let the sacrifice of my love for him on the altar delight You. Be glorified, even now in this, oh Father.
(I will admit that looking back on this prayer, I see that the end is very different. I've made peace with the reality that he chose NOT to come back, choose me, marry me, and love me. I do still believe that was God's plan for us. But I will say - and you will eventually see the struggle that got me to this statement - that I do not believe God was lying to me, nor do I believe He was unfaithful because this did not happen. But in those moments, I was called to believe it would come to pass, and I did it. And I'm thankful I stuck to that conviction, even when people told me to walk away from it.)

Sweet Holy Spirit, hold us both. And help me withstand the fire – the refining fire. And I can tell you from this side of the journey - God did that. He helped me withstand the fire.

Holy Father, I’m just tired. Help me to rest in its embrace. You are my Jesus. I choose You. Even in this pain.


It had rained some in the afternoon, so we stayed in that evening, playing, packing up to be ready to leave in the morning…having fun. After the girls went to bed and Faith and I retreated to our computers, I decided to pull out Beth Moore’s Get Out of That Pit book. I had packed it in case I felt like reading, though I highly suspected I would NOT feel like it. But in that moment, I did, so I pulled it out. I could not write fast enough. I share this part with you because it wasn't just a "good quote" for that evening. This particular excerpt reshaped the way I viewed the desert.

This made me cringe. She quotes from Psalm 78 – “In spite of all God’s wonders, they did not believe. So he ended their days in futility. – Here’s the important part: They did not believe in God or trust His deliverance.” Oh precious Savior – DON’T let me go there.
I like this: “If we approach God humbly for instantaneous deliverance, knowing good and well He can give it, yet He chooses instead to use the wagon of time, He’s writing history with each ponderous turn of the wheel and you’re riding shotgun. Good stories don’t jump on a page. They toss and turn, ebb and flow, rise and fall, just like the heaving chest of Adam as God first breathed that soul into his brand new corpse…we may have to wait for deliverance while the vehicle of time jolts and lurches, but we never have to wait on God Himself.” I love that. Thank You.

Oh God! She says here, “As you read the Psalmist’s description of having ‘waited patiently for the Lord,’ Don’t get the idea that he sat around in the mire, sinking deeper every minute, telling God to take all the time He needed. The phrase ‘waited patiently’ is translated…expect…He postured himself in absolute expectation. He had a goal, and his shoulders would not slump till he saw it fulfilled. His Deliverer was coming, and on His way, fighting battles and blazing paths somewhere beyond the Psalmist’s gaze.” I am impassioned by that description.
She also says the word means “to lie in wait for someone…to expect, await, look for patiently, hope; to be confident, trust, to be enduring…adopting a watchman’s posture. After we’ve cried out to the one and only true Deliverer, we are exhorted by Scripture to exercise unwavering and daily confidence that God is coming to our rescue….Anticipate your absolute, inevitable deliverance.” YES!

Sweet Father, thank You! Please inspire me to wait in hope before You. Help me to bless You and delight You with a spirit of eagerness. But I need your help to live in it. Jesus, I want to honor You! Bless You! Glorify You!

Radio!!

I am SO EXCITED to tell you about my trip to WBCL! Of course, because I live for such things, I have pictures for you. :)

Here's a little tour of my day. First of all...I got to see my name on the weekly schedule. That was pretty exciting! (Yes, I took a picture of the screen. Come on...you know you love my quirks.)

So yesterday morning, I left home about 8:00 (vacation days don't always equal sleep, you know) with a big mug of coffee and my attempt at a trendy outfit. Yes, I know it's radio and it doesn't matter what I wear. But you know you can do a better interview when you feel festive. It was my first time with a sweater dress. I was nervous.


The radio station was just a little over an hour away from home - and I could have done a phone interview, but I really wanted the whole experience. And my boss told me I had to go. Had to do it in person. No argument there! So I drove up...no Larry the GPS this time. Also no printer ink at the moment, so I had my hand-copied googled directions in my lap. The bad thing about that operation is the paper doesn't say TURN HERE. So I definitely missed the turn and had to do some hunting. But I found it!!

The Mid-Morning program was actually already underway when I arrived at the studio. I was probably 3 miles away from the station when it began and I heard Lynne, the host, say my name as a guest. I screamed in the car. Yes. I did.


When I arrived, they took me back to the studio, and I got to sit right here:

Jamie, the producer, brought me a water bottle and I put on the headphones and listened to the other guests, who were all call-in interviews. I especially enjoyed the author right before me, because she also wrote a Christmas book! (She's the same author who wrote The Christmas Shoes...) And then it was my turn.

Gulp.

The only technical glitch was that my microphone wasn't turned on when I started talking. So if you listened on the archive and wondered what you missed...it was "Good morning." There. Now your day is complete.

This is Lynne, who interviewed me...

She was SO gracious. When it came time for me to talk, I seriously considered throwing up, but I just turned my chair to focus on her and it really felt like it was just the two of us having a conversation without the hundreds (thousands?) of people out there listening. She put me right at ease. She'd very kindly emailed me a list of possible questions the day before the interview, so I had some time to formulate responses that hopefully excluded the word "um." I really enjoyed the talk - and even though I got some extra questions I hadn't known were coming - I felt right at home answering them!

This is Jamie - who felt just like a kindred spirit. Since I was the last interview of the morning, we stood around talking for a while after, and I just loved sharing with both of them! They were so encouraging...about the interview...the sweater dress experiment...my writing...my current story in life. (Lynne asked me to share a bit about the blog, so I was excited about that!)

It was so fun, after it was over, to see all the texts my friends sent to encourage me - and I had a bunch of notes on Facebook, too, so that was fun! I worry so much about over-Bekah-ing everyone this Christmas. Really do not want to do that. So to feel so loved and supported was great. (Apparently my office buddies all tuned in at their desks and got some simultaneous laughs over some of my Bekah-lines.)

It was just the best possible day. I loved being there with them, I loved the feedback they gave me, and I loved knowing God was and is at work behind the scenes of even a radio spot!

This radio station is very near to my heart. You know the six a.m. serenade?? Yep - this station! It was very special for me to be able to talk about the book on their airwaves. Thank you so much, Lynne and Jamie, for being gracious hostesses! You made my day!

Chapel Pike Book Signing

Yesterday I went to my old church, Chapel Pike Wesleyan, to be at their Thanksgiving lunch and sign books. It was so great to see everyone again!

Right now, they have to hold their all-church gatherings at an elementary school cafeteria, because the church doesn't have a room large enough to hold everyone. (Just explaining the decor you're about to see!)

This is my friend, Cheryl. She and her husband, John, did so much to help me when I was first out on my own! They were the first Habitat for Bekah crew! They helped me paint rooms and hang blinds and put together furniture. Never ever could have made it without them!

This is Karen and her daughter, Kaitlin. I met Karen when I taught the ladies Bible study at Chapel Pike. Kaitlin came with her sometimes. Karen told me Kaitlin bought the book with her own money!!

Kaitlin and her book! (And seriously...she's that tall next to me while I'm wearing HEELS???)

It was great to be in church with Faith again. We were pew buddies when I went there before, so I got to sit with her again. :)

Wanna hear a funny? The church bulletin said "His Advent: Still His Greatest Gift by Rebekah J. Freelan, is available in the foyer for $10." One of my friends told me after church that she was reading that announcement when she got distracted by something. She'd read just as far as the title before she got distracted, so when she resumed reading, this is what she saw: "Rebekah J. Freelan is available in the foyer for $10." I laughed so hard!!!

Ever the professional.

Here I am with Laura Plummer...who was one of my crafting buddies last weekend!

CAIL!!! (I got the wrong name on Facebook.) This is Miss Cail, who is my new buddy. She wanted to know why I was writing in books. :) Great. Hope I didn't start a bad habit.

The Birthday Boy! Mr. Joseph Holland is now FIVE years old. And when the kids shared what they were thankful for...you can know he was most thankful to have a birthday!

Joseph's sister, Jessica, took over my camera for a while....and she found Kaleb Hutchins. He's kind of shy.

No idea. I cannot explain myself.

Brian Holland! You made the blog! How do you feel? :) Pastor Brian has been an amazing support and encouragement to me...even talking me into teaching junior high Sunday School with him back in the day! And rumor has it that last weekend, while I was crafting with his wife, he texted her "Any word on the broccoli salad being at the Thanksgiving lunch next week?" So I hope you got some, Brian!

Pastor Brian's lovely wife, Jaye. We try to coordinate whenever possible. Yesterday we were hair twins, clothing twins AND broccoli salad twins!

Marty and Lori came to my signing at the Greentown Library...but they go to Chapel Pike, too, so we had another chance to have a picture!! I seriously do have to tell you that aisle runner story from their wedding.

This is one of my new friends, Lara. I've been attending Chapel Pike's ladies Bible study this fall, because they're doing a Beth Moore study and you know how I love me some Beth Moore. Lara started coming to church there since I left, so I'm only just now meeting her! She's a sweetheart.

Remember this cuteness? Last time I saw her, she was toothless! Man I've missed her. (I am aware that my arm is freakishly freaky in this picture. But we only had so much room to work with and my camera is big.)

And her brother...who is still a cuddler. I love that.

And her OTHER brother who is one and has no interest WHATSOEVER in sitting still. Even for pictures. Perhaps ESPECIALLY for pictures.

So that was my day with the Chapel Pike gang. Thanks so much for hosting me!! Miss you guys!