Being An Adult is SO GREAT!

Okay, so that's not really true.

I mean, there are bills and alarm clocks and taxes and all that stuff. That's not so great.

But let me tell you the GREAT part about adulthood.

It's called ice cream for dinner.

It happened yesterday. Ryan and I had stinky days. Nothing major happened. Life didn't fall apart on us. But in all the history of days we've ever lived, yesterday wasn't our favorite.

We came home and even before we put our jackets on the hangers...we collapsed on Mo looking a little bit like this:

I told Ryan I could think of only one thing that would fix a day like that: ice cream.

His answer was every wife's dream: Let's go. I'll see if we have coupons.

In no time at all, we were in the car, coupons in hand, headed here:

Ryan was so excited, he started to pull into Burger King.

We got back on the right track and then he got so excited, he pulled into the car rental company. Whoopsie!

At last, we managed to find the right parking lot, and walked inside, trusty ice cream coupon in hand. We'd decided to have ice cream before dinner, because we were adults, and adults could decide to do things like that.

But as soon as we walked in and smelled the burgers we had a change of heart. Dinner first:

THEN it was time for ice cream.

While we waited, the guy at the next table left his food unattended while he went for a drink refill. I'd be lying if we said we didn't consider seconds:

But we remembered that adults are also RESPONSIBLE. :)

And at the end of the meal? The reward we'd waited to enjoy:

And no, he didn't eat them both. :)

Does it count that I got peanuts in mine for protein? Was that a good adult decision?

It made our hard day better - for sure.

Anyone else eat dessert for dinner on the icky days?

A Little Appreciation Goes a Long Way

Every day, when I pack our lunches, I write a little note to Ryan and tuck it inside his lunch box. Sometimes I find a surprise in my own lunch box...he'll sneak a note in after I've packed it and walked away.

Yesterday was just such a day.

I always make myself wait until lunch time to read them, but yesterday, I yanked it out of the lunchbox when I opened it to get out my breakfast, and I read it on the spot.

Thank you for all you do to take care of us. I appreciate that you always plan our menus, make them healthy, make most of our food, and take care of the details around our house. I love you very much and don't take you for granted. Thank you for being the wife I need. Have a great day!

Love,

Ryan

Lest you think we're that 50's couple, let me say that I thrive on all things house-wife-y. I adore planning our meals and cooking them and decorating our home. Those are the very things I always wanted to do in a marriage, and while most guys probably wouldn't complain to enjoy them, I appreciate having a guy who takes time out to SAY he enjoys them.


A note like this isn't unusual for him. He tells me often that he appreciates my hard work - whatever it may be. He notices the details and thanks me for them. And I do the same right back to him. I appreciate the way he keeps my car full of gas {risking life and limb last night to beat the price hike at the ONE station still down in our town}, all the work he does to do the things around our house that I'm NOT great at...like all the yard work, and the way he takes care of details I just don't think to address.

As I stood in the kitchen at the station, a little teary-eyed from my note, thinking about the beauty of KNOWING you're appreciated, I felt a nudge to be a better encourager to others.

I'm great about reminding Ryan that he's loved and appreciated, but I don't take nearly the time to remind everyone ELSE around me of the same thing.

...I appreciate the way Lynne graciously trimmed and rearranged the fresh flowers in the vase on my desk to surprise me when I came in to work today. Given that I have zero florist skills, that was a sweet gesture that brightened my day AND my desk.

...I appreciate our worship leader at church who has the gargantuan task of choosing music {and you KNOW how impossible it is to please hundreds of folks at once} and lead a group and sing for three services in a row every Sunday.

...I appreciate our mail carrier, who trudged through some UNRULY snows and treacherous ice this winter to bring our mail every single day.

...I appreciate the barista at Starbucks who has taken time to not only make fabulous coffee for us, but to get to know us. Is it weird that being known as something more than a nonfat white chocolate mocha with two shots of raspberry is really exciting?

...you get the idea.

Who do you appreciate? What if you stopped appreciating them in your head and said the words out loud? What if you recognized what they do and told them how much it meant to you?

What if?

Small World, Big Impact: The Student

For the last several weeks now, I've been telling you about people who have impacted my life in big ways. They're not people you would know by name. They're not famous. They're ordinary people, living an ordinary life, but along the way, a little thing made a big impact.

I initially wrote these several years ago, but I've never shared them on the blog, so I've been bringing them to this space now and then, just to remind myself - and all of you - that the little things make the biggest difference.

This one is dear to my heart.

I'm ashamed to say I don't even know her name. I should know it. She spoke to me often. I knew her face when I saw her. But even though I don't remember her name, I've never forgotten what she did.

It had been a long day at work, and I was tired. Working in Financial Aid and dealing with thousands of dollars of people's money meant taking the brunt of their frustration and anger. Understandable. Education was expensive, and private Christian education was even more expensive. Back then, the students were paying close to twenty thousand a year to attend school, and my guess is now, it's another fifteen grand per year {or more} on top of that. It's obvious why many needed help, and it was our job to do just that. But as much as our office desired to do so, we never succeeded with making many of them overly happy.

Usually the parents called or came in to the office, all in a frenzy, demanding more help, threatening to pull their kids out of school or asking for special consideration. But now and then, the students themselves showed up with the questions. It was rare, but it happened.

And one particular day, a young lady walked in while I happened to be covering the front desk. She sat down and just unloaded every thought in her mind on me. I don't remember what she was upset about, now. Maybe she didn't have enough money, or there might have been a problem with her loan, or maybe something had been removed from her aid listing. But while I don't remember the problem, I do remember the verbal lashing I took that day. Whatever the problem, it wasn't my fault. She wasn't even my student. But I took the brunt of it, because I was there.

I was used to it, because it happened often, but that didn't mean it didn't sting. I tried to shake it off after she left, so it wouldn't ruin the rest of my day.

A couple of days later, she came back and asked for me. You might imagine why I cringed as I walked from my office to the front to meet her. What now? Did something else go wrong?

I wasn't prepared for what happened when I arrived at the front. It had never happened before, and I'm pretty sure it never happened again - at least from a student.

When I walked into the lobby area, she came up to me and said, "Do you remember me from a couple of days ago?"

I nodded.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know you guys do the best you can, and I know it wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have talked to you the way I did, and I"m sorry."

Stunned.

I knew students knew how to yell and complain. I had no idea they knew how to apologize. Dumbfounded, I thanked her.

I wish I could remember her name, but even though my memory has failed me, that young lady remains forever my Financial Aid poster student.

She came back to apologize. It wasn't easy. She had to swallow her pride and find some serious courage to walk back in that office and face me.

But that day, she became a fine example of how to be adult enough to say I was wrong. I'm sorry.

And that is a rare and beautiful quality.

Who Says Date Nights Have to Be Extravagant?

Last week on the morning show, the guys asked listeners how they keep their marriages strong...how they stay connected. My answer to the question was consistent date nights.

Ryan and I make an effort to go on a date of some sort every single week. They're not always on the same day. Sometimes they're out of town...sometimes they're in town...sometimes they're at home. But we are adamant about carving time out of every week to step away from responsibility and enjoy time together.

So if you think date nights are just for those who have a lot of money...check out our fun from this past weekend.

After work on Friday night, we hopped in the car and headed to one of Ryan's favorite places on earth:

Actually, on the way there, we made a quick stop to rent a movie, because we got a freebie coupon in the mail.

 THEN onto B-Dubs.

We sorta forgot it was a game night, so it was rather packed in there - with enthusiastic sports fans, but we didn't care, because...we were hungry!!

I had my first REAL hamburger since surgery. Oh my word. It's all I needed.

And Ryan?? Well he loves wings.

We had a great dinner, even if we had to speak rather loudly to one another over all the enthusiastic sports fans. And best of all? Gift cards = free dinner, baby!!

After that....it was time to do some window shopping! First stop? My happy place:

Hobby Lobby, baby!!!

I actually did use up a gift card getting myself the cutest little garden flag. It's for Easter. It's stinkin' cute.

And after that - it was just dreaming and goofing off:

{Penelope impersonation}

After that - we ventured forth to a couple other stores looking for an Easter dress for me. {If you've been reading here a while, you know Easter dresses are my one IMPOSSIBLE task each year. I have to start early. Amazingly enough? Found it!!}

And I waited while Ryan tried on clothes. Some, in the dressing room. Some...in middle of the store. Girls can't get away with that.

By the time we were done with all that, it was time to do the grocery shopping, but we couldn't do that without some fuel:

After that...we could handle grocery shopping. Which some in our company confuse with karaoke:

So between coupons and gift cards, it was a pretty affordable date night - and as you can see - no shortage of fun!!

The Shafferland Shuffle

* We won't even talk about how I felt about the return to DST last Sunday. But let's just say that DST plus a late night out the night before plus being greeters at church was an interesting combo! We were ready to crash on Mo come lunch time! And we pretty much stayed there the rest of the day, dreaming and talking and watching TV and napping. And then we rallied in the evening to have a Dashing Dish cooking palooza to get ahead for the week. Texas sheet cake, raspberry chocolate chip muffins, and pepperoni pizza puffs. Ryan made all the oat and almond flour for me; good husband award!

* Monday was re-entry to the work world. I was well-showered with love and even accomplished quite a bit with decent energy! That night, we finally got around to changing our clocks at home. {I'm not kidding about rebelling the DST thing.} AND - exciting news - we went back to the gym for the first time since the entire gallbladder mess began. I only felt safe walking, but I was desperate to do SOMETHING! I did 2 miles on the track and felt really good about that. And then we got to have a delicious dinner delivered to our door by the lovely Lisa of our Sunday School class! YAY!

* Tuesday, I got a fun delivery at work: a big box from Jelly Belly! I interviewed them this week and they sent treats! Do you know how popular you become at work when you have a massive box of treats on your desk? {Hint: very.} I sorted books for our big book giveaway coming up and wrote interview questions, which in my mind, is a fun day. Did 2 more miles on the track that night, and shaved a minute and a half off my time, which was exciting. And then I hunkered down for online work at home - with my number one assistant fast asleep on my feet. HA!!

* Wednesday morning, we had some CRAZY heavy fog, but I made it safely to work! I wore a very cheery {read: WAY BRIGHT} shirt to try to counteract the weather. It must have worked, because by the end of the day, it was sunny and sunglasses weather! I was so happy to drive in that! Ryan and I took the night to stay at home and do tons of chores. Even though we weren't all hunkered down watching TV, I really enjoyed being home together just living life.

*  Thursday morning was SO SPRINGY, so it was extra funny to open the blinds at work and stare at the Santa on the house next door. He stays up a long time!! I guess it's really true that he sees you all the time. Lynne and I hosted BLT together, and she sprung a quiz on me. A vocab quiz. I failed miserably. That night, I walked 2 1/2 miles outside - and I got to pass my beloved prayer chapel! It was really a lovely day.

* Ryan and I had such a long week that we were desperate for Friday and date night. We stayed in town and had fun - including dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings {yay, gift cards!!!}, some shopping, and of course...Starbucks! I didn't care for one minute what we did as long as we got to be together. It had just been a long week for both of us. And best of all? We had a slumber party on Mo!

 * Yesterday we shared a GLORIOUS day at home together. We slept in and had a fun breakfast and spent the whole day cleaning up the house. It had sort of gotten out of hand while I was down for the count. We both love to organize, so it was a good day! We also went on our first for-fun walk of the year. It was so pretty out!!! Let's bring on spring!

The Saturday Six

One.

Can you see the top of your desk? We really do aspire to keep a clean desktop here in Shafferland, but let me tell you what the onslaught of medical bills has done. :) So our project is to tidy up the deck {actually the whole office, but if your office is scary, start small with the desk}. Whether clearing it means the hand swipe into the trash can or actual sorting...go for it this week! Weed out! Simplify!

Two.

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My heart NEEDED to read this post by the Nester about her parents and the little fixer upper they bought and flipped. Ryan and I have lived our entire marriage trying to figure out if we want to stay where we are, buy another house, or build one from the ground up. We talked about it just last weekend - in great depth! To read these words - especially the very last line - was soothing to my soul.

Three.

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I dare you to watch this video without crying and being challenged. My prayer: for my life to hold this much weight to those around me.

Four.

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Ryan? What say you we take a summer off and do THIS trip?

Five.

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Recently in love with this website, featuring authors I've "met" through my work. Lovely ladies. lovely space on the web.

Six.

Lynne gave me her Sally Hansen Miracle Gel nail polish, because it apparently contains acrylic, and it turns out she has an allergy to that! The claim of this polish is to be durable like my beloved Shellac...but without the light. I gave it a shot, and here's my review of it: As far as polishes go, it's certainly better than any standard polish I've ever used, including Essie, and you know how I do love my Essie! It doesn't require a base coat, it goes on very smoothly, the coats go on strong without streaking, and the drying time really is crazy fast. Two color coats and a top coat went on and were dry in less than twenty minutes, and I find that impressive. It's been, for me, far more durable than regular polish - with no cracking and only one chip after several days. I'm impressed by that. It is also cheaper than Shellac, costing {around here, anyway} $7.99 compared to the gel polish at about $13 a bottle. Having said all that, I'm still loyal to my Shellac. I love the shine, the thickness of the polish, and the fact that when I'm done with my manicure, it's fully cured and impossible to ding. {Even though this one dried quickly, I still got some dings before it was 100% cured.} I am going back to my Shellac, because I do love it so much. But I will say that if you don't want to invest in the light and all the polishes of the Shellac system {and you're not allergic to acrylic}, this is a great choice for a polish. 

Man's Best Friend {Dreaming Edition}

When I was little...really little...my family had a big dog. A Collie-ish dog. I think it was a boy. Not sure. Dusty was his/her name, and I have a couple of pictures from my childhood that feature Dusty in them. I'd show you, but the best one of Dusty also shows my mom bending over in the yard, picking up sticks. Pretty sure that would not go over well. {You're welcome, Mom.}

After Dusty...ahem...passed, my parents brought a new puppy home. He was a birthday present to me, and I promptly named him Poky. You remember that Little Golden Book, right? The Poky Little Puppy? I thought they had a resemblance...

{Please take a moment to notice how well I rocked the bangs. Thank you. Thank you.}

I loved Poky and wanted to take him everywhere. And sometimes I succeeded in that plea:

Poky didn't adjust well to life at our house...he was a bit more aggressive than we could handle {though he looks otherwise in these pictures!!} so we found him a new home and our next try with a dog was this little guy:

That's a chihuahua puppy. I named him Lassie. Do not judge.

I loved Lassie. He was the best dog. And when he died at far too young an age, we were all devastated. I think my parents were so traumatized by losing Lassie that they just washed their hands of dogs entirely and moved to cats.

And we had cats from the time I was a second grader until I left for college.

As you know, I kept the cat tradition going - mostly because when I was first out of college, I couldn't afford a dog, and then I was just too busy to have a dog and really spend the time with him that I should.

But my dream of owning a dog has never died. Obviously right now, the queen of the castle wouldn't THINK of permitting a dog on the premises, so it's truly just a dream at this stage.

But I'm a firm believer in planning ahead, so I'm forever trying to figure out what kind of dog we should get - someday.

Here's my main question: big dog or little dog??

Little dogs don't eat much and they fit nicely in the car when you want to go somewhere. And I remember a time {long ago} when one of my friends brought along her big dog when she spent the night here, and he was SO huge that his tail knocked over everything in my little house. I remember thinking big dogs and little houses don't match so well. But then again - big dogs can go on walks and runs...they can be good guard dogs, and I know my niece would tell me that's the way to go.

She's got a gorgeous dog that Ryan and I sorta wanted to keep when he visited a year ago:

So that's my working-ahead-years-in-the-future conundrum. If there is ever to be a Shafferland pooch, what should we get??

Playing Footsie

Do you guys read the Mundane Faithfulness Blog? I've mentioned it a time or two on the Saturday Six.

Kara, the blogger, is dying of cancer, and she's only a couple of years older than I am. She's a mom of four, and her writing is raw and inspiring. She doesn't sugar coat cancer. It can't be sugar coated. It hurts and it's hard and she's about to say goodbye to her husband and four kids. She hates it with everything in her.

But while she's busy hating what she's losing, she's not lost sight of what she's gaining. She knows she's about to meet Jesus in person, and she's ready.

This week she wrote this post about the arrival of her hospital bed. It was delivered to her home and placed in her bedroom next to the bed she's shared her entire marriage with her husband.

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She said this: "No more rubbing feet in the night, no more stealing pillows from my guy. I won’t be rolling into his warm spot as he gets out of bed to make the morning coffee."

Those words punched me.

For the first several years of my adult life, I slept in a twin bed. The same twin bed I had when I lived at home. And somehow it made me feel like a twelve year old playing house. So I upgraded to a king bed. {I don't do anything in small increments.} I loved feeling like a grownup in my big ole bed. But it was also a lonely big ole bed. I could roll multiple times from one side to another...and I was alone.

I got a body pillow and tried to find comfort in something tangible to hang onto every night when I went to sleep. But it was a sleeping pacifier. It wasn't the real thing and other than giving me something to run into if I rolled over in bed, it provided no comfort.

And then I married Ryan. And suddenly there was a person beside me. Someone to snuggle up to when I felt cold. Or scared. Or lonely. Feet under the covers. An arm to pull me close.

Last night, Ryan fell asleep before I did. {Not unusual.} And as he slept there beside me, and I felt warmth radiating from his arm, I thought about Kara. I thought about her in her hospital bed beside her bed. I thought about her feet stretching in the night and rather than finding Jason...finding bars and buttons. I thought about her reaching for a pillow and finding instead a pill bottle on a nightstand. I thought about her rolling over and instead of a warm spot...the edge of the thin mattress.

And there in our big old bed, with Braeya fighting for her spot, I stretched out my foot and touched Ryan's foot. He didn't move. He was already in the deepest sleep. But I reached out because I could. Because for 34 years, I waited for a foot instead of the zipper at the bottom of the body pillow. Because beside me was the answer to so many groan-laden prayers. Because beside me was my healthy husband, and I was his mostly-healthy wife.

Because I never want to forget or take for granted what a joy it is to have someone beside me in the bed. Because I never want to forget or take for granted the gift of health that allows us to be beside each other. Because if our Kara-day comes and we face what she's living now, I want to look back and know that when I could reach out and play footsie under the covers, I did.

Back in the Working World

Well,  y'all, I did it. I went back to work. I was nervous about it because, you know, two weeks of daily naps is a bit on the habit-forming side.

And of course, this past weekend was the start of evil DST {though we won't talk about it}, so my return to work meant a return to driving in the pitch black! I was terrified I would oversleep on Monday, but between 3 alarms, we managed to get up on time.

Back to the old habits of packing lunches and making beds and packing work bags and remembering to grab the Blue Tooth on the way out the door!

I'd love to tell you we were going for some artistic lighting there, but in truth - IT WAS JUST STILL DARK. BOO.

The commute wasn't bad, and when I arrived at work and stepped foot inside my office, I discovered my desk in less of a state of disarray than I imagined.  That's always a plus!

A few stacks of books, but nothing I couldn't handle!

I was especially excited to find these waiting for me:

Lynne knows her producer awfully well, I'd say.

And speaking of her knowledge of me...

She arrived with an armload of caffeine. {I had threatened to fall asleep my first day back, and I'm guessing she believed me.}

 Iced tea and frappes go a long way, my friend. :)

Lynne also brought some pretty for my desk:

And my sweet friend Dana came bearing a gift as well:

I not only felt loved, but I felt relieved that I remembered how to do my job! It was fun to be back on with the morning guys...to engineer Mid-Morning...to wade through all the emails...to sort through the mail and look at the books that came in. So good to see everyone and to get back to a routine, even though I did enjoy my time off!

Date Night: Surprise Party Style!

Because I went to the Habitat for Habitat Ceremony on Friday, we weren't able to have our date night on Friday night. But...never fear! We were invited to be part of a surprise party on Saturday night!

Ryan has some friends who have so graciously adopted me in to be part of their friend circle as well. Right after we were first married, the four of us went on a double date to The Melting Pot - and then last winter, we headed to Indianapolis again to try out the bottomless pit of Fogo De Chao. We had the privilege of attending their wedding last May, and now they're expecting a baby! So excited for them.

Angie's birthday was this weekend...and her husband told her he was taking her to dinner, but he didn't tell her he'd invited a few friends to surprise her!

It was our first real out of town date since surgery, and I was excited!

The restaurant was right downtown in Indianapolis, and we'd never been there before. It was called Barcelona Tapas Restaurant:

We'd never been to a restaurant like this before. All the dishes on the menu are appetizer-esque. The portions are smaller and they're intended to be shared...kind of a social experiment of a restaurant. Of course the two of us are more accustomed to Burger King than menus in foreign languages, so we were pretty much guessing at everything we tried! LOL!!

Angie was so surprised to walk in and see friends waiting on her! We had our own table in the back corner of the restaurant, and the food started rolling out! Everything was really good - even if it all was a bit of a mystery when it arrived. Our table-mates were kind and shared their food with us...and we shared ours with them.

Ryan actually tried on of the mussels. BRAVE boy. I was not so brave.

Mike had picked up a cake for Angie and delivered it to Ryan at work so we could sneak it down for him. There happened to be a birthday celebration at the table next to ours, so we helped them sing to their birthday girl, and then they helped us sing to ours! She wasn't embarrassed or anything.

 I asked for a picture of her with her cake and she got photobombed. LOL!! Angie and Ryan used to work together at the same physical therapy place, and they've been friends for a long time. I'm really thankful that he has had such a good friend in her for so long!

Also a helper on the candles...

Mike and Angie: I really love them together as a couple. They're good. :)

And I especially love THIS guy!! Still can't get over the blessing he is to me.

And here's the whole group!

It was fun to be included in this party - and we made it home right around midnight. Or was it one in the morning? Daggone Daylight Savings Time... :)