Don't get me wrong: I cherished every one of those dates. They were not lost or wasted. We were together, laughing, talking, being a team, and all of those things matter and bring strength and unity to marriage. But I know there is so much value to be found in being intentional in your marriage. (In any relationship, actually.) That's why I paused on the post when I found it on Pinterest.
Would it take some work? Absolutely. Would it take some creativity? You bet. Would it take a commitment from both of us? Yep. But I shared the idea with Ryan, and he was on board completely. (He even planned a few of them himself!) It took us almost one year to complete all 26 dates, and this may be one of the best projects we have ever done as a couple. (Give us about 15 years and the chance to finish the rest of our county tours and we'll have another really cool project completed.)
But today I wanted to tell you why we loved this project, because we really, really did. And while I would never say that something like this is a must for all marriages, I highly encourage you to try some version of this project for your own relationship. You might be surprised just how much fun you have and how much joy it brings as you work together to intentionally create something fun!
First of all, here is a collage of all our chalkboard date pictures:
* Let me begin by saying this is not as daunting as it looks. There are 52 weeks in a year and 26 letters in the alphabet. So basically, if you go on a date every two weeks, you're done in a year. Now, we got a late start last year because of Ryan's gallbladder issues, and sometimes life was so busy that we didn't get the dates in on time. So sometimes we had two or three in a row and then nothing for a few weeks. But we still got them all done in under twelve months. (Yes, I was nerd enough that I had every date planned out before the year began, including the intended two-week spacing of each.)
* We didn't go "out" for every date. If you read here regularly, you know our lives are insanely busy. Sometimes we needed an at-home date. Dates B, J, Q, and Z were all done at home and were lovely, low-key times for just the two of us.
* Some of our dates were more extravagant than usual. I loved that. I feel like we did more things that we had to save and plan for because of this project, and I will cherish each of those times. I felt special and loved when we did something really out of the ordinary. Dates G, R, V, X, and Y were extra special and extra fancy.
* Not all dates were a success. Appropriately, Date F was a failure in many ways. But we still had fun and we think it's funny...now. Not so much on that day. But my point is to understand that out of this many dates, not every single one will be a winner. But learning to embrace imperfect dates can be a great exercise, too!
* We included others in some of our adventures. We spent part or all of Dates A, D, E, K, M and N with other people. Most of the time, of course, those were people we knew. But sometimes we spent part of our dates with people we didn't know! (Example: On Date N, we went to an escape room and were added to a team of people we didn't know.)
* We took help and suggestions from others! Once people knew we were doing this little project, they began to suggest ideas that we either didn't know about or wouldn't have thought of. And in the case of Date U, the whole thing was planned by one of our friends. It was a complete surprise to us! Dates O, T, and Y were all suggestions from others.
* We chose not to be too busy to date. At the beginning of the year, right after we'd launched this project, my mom had a hip replacement. Ryan and I were busy visiting her in the hospital, trying to take care of her needs, getting her settled at home and in therapy, etc. We were technically too busy to date. But we needed that time alone then more than ever. That was the week we did Date C, the Coffee Shop Crawl. Two of those visits on the crawl were done early in the morning before our days got busy, but we so desperately needed that time together to talk, encourage, and regroup.
* Some of our dates were part of vacations and road trips. Two-for-one specials, if you will. Dates G, V, W, and Y were all parts of other trips we took this year.
* We got to do some really cool stuff! I feel like if I mention specifics, I'll leave out something important by accident, but I will mention anyway. The Gaither Vocal Band concert (the next-to-the-last one before David Phelps left the group), trying our hand at an escape room, visiting (and learning about) a sunflower oil farm, dinner at the Eagle's Nest (rotating rooftop restaurant), touring tiny houses and eating at a food truck festival, hearing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and visiting the Biltmore at Christmas were all really fun and unusual things for us.
So with this project officially complete, I'll say that it was so much fun. I highly recommend it to couples looking to try new, interesting, intentional things! And while our list is by no means an exhaustive list of what you can do on alphabetical dates, you can see every date's post here and learn a bit more about our year of fun and intentional loving/living!
3 comments:
It was so fun to follow along!
Very fun- you're so organized. I couldn't pull this off without enduring a lot of stress over planning dates, decision making, etc. You made it look easy!!
Tamar - Well thanks for coming along for the ride!
Maria - There were MANY plan b moments. I probably should have made that a bullet point. LOL. Once you train your mind to think by letter, you'll be amazed the words that come to you that you can fit into dates! :) Some came more easily than others, but they were definitely fun.
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