Do Not Be Dismayed

What a lovely title for New Year's Day, huh?

I love New Year's Day. I love defined beginnings...clean slates...blank journal pages...all things representative of the new. The fresh. The yet-to-be.

And yet, here I sit, on a bright and shiny new day of a new year of a new decade, and I feel frumpled. A quick glance to my left reminds me that I still have odds and ends of Christmas lurking about. A quick glance to my right gives me a glimpse of the day-planner, which reminds me of chores I've postponed for a later day of my vacation...which ends tomorrow.

My frumply New Year's Day began with a rather unconventional New Year's Eve. I love New Year's Eve celebrations. The food, the friends, the ball drop, the confetti and noisemakers, the sparkling grape juice...and of course, the pictures.

The friends I normally spend the holiday with went to a party at their church, which is the church I used to attend, so I tagged along with them.

A kind group invited me to play euchre with them. I don't play euchre. They offered to teach me, and I tried to learn, but when you've not grown up on cards and struggle to remember terms such as "trump" (which isn't something that's sounding) and "suit" (which isn't something you're wearing), it makes for a dismal failure.

So I moved to the Apples to Apples (junior) game. Much more my mentality level. And it gave me an excuse to spend some time with this cuteness and what remains of her teeth...

And be assisted by this cuteness...who never misses an opportunity to squeeze the life out of my leg and announce, "I yuv you, Aunt Bekah."

And because it was my lucky day, I even won a round!

After Apples to Apples and Catch Phrase, it was time for the ball to drop...except we were at the church, where they didn't have a TV connection...and no one turned on the computer quickly enough to find coverage. So our ball drop consisted of the tallest person present holding a ping pong ball up in the air until his cell phone switched to midnight, and then he dropped the orange ball to the floor.

And that was when the frumply feeling arrived. Is it really the new year without the shiny ball on TV? Auld Lang Syne? (Even though I hate that song.) A sip of the sparkling grape juice? Confetti in my hair?

Well, this little guy didn't know any different. And it was fun to hold him and wrestle my hair out of his fist when his first new year arrived.

The party ended, I packed up the food, and I came home...just about the time the first big tear slid down my cheek. This was the new year?

So I knelt down on the rug and pulled out the journal. The whole saga of the night spilled out onto the page while comfort-music played in the background.

And then I remembered this verse...one I learned years ago from the pages of a novel, where it appeared over and over as the main character's favorite verse..."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

God knew. He saw my car circling the city those 45 minutes prior to the party, and He saw me inside wrestling with whether or not to even go. He saw me dialing the phone to try to find an escape route and closed all the paths. He saw the case of the frumplies setting in when the standard mode of celebration deviated. He saw the hurt and confusion and joy all fighting for first place in my heart and head.

My house isn't clean. My chores aren't done. My inaugural page to my scrapbook will look very strange without the normal pictures. I lost a couple hours of sleep. But that time of worship in the wee hours of the morning was a beautiful start to a new year.

2009, Thanks for A Great Year!

Is it possible to will yourself to have a good year? Maybe, maybe not. But I did enter 2009 with great hopes that it would be a truly wonderful year, and it was. I'm sitting here beside my very fat scrapbook, thankful for the opportunity to have so many beautiful memories.

Thank you for reading along with me this year, for leaving me comments, for loving me, or putting up with me, or whatever you did. :) I love my blogging family!

And to close out 2009, here's the year in review! (AKA - watch Bekah's hair grow and change colors.)

January
I rang in the new year with my friends, the Hancocks, and during the festivities, learned that the newest Hancock kiddo would make an appearance in the summer! Despite the snow and ice that came with the month, January was filled with lunches, dinners, game nights, and scrap days with friends. And at the end of the month - a trip to the Gaither store which officially makes the best caramel frappes on the planet. I'm not kidding.

February
The month of love - despised by so many of my friends, was actually a fun month for me. Well, not including the days I got sick and even missed work! Gasp. I squeezed in a few dinners and fun nights with friends and enjoyed a wonderful Valentine's day - with the cutest dates - all my "nieces" and "nephews." That's one of them above - Hannah - who wanted to break out the bubbles she got from me! 

March

March was the month of firsts - first track meet, first time playing the Wii, and first time running. I also was blessed to be sponsored to attend a Brethren Way of Christ retreat - which was one of the best experiences of the whole year! And at the end of the month...I had a fun Aunt Bekah weekend with Liam and Savannah, who wore me out when they had a sleepover at my house. So much fun, though!

April

Ahh, April. The month when I went shopping for that smashing (?) dress above and ended up shopping with a cross-dresser. Good times. Had a couple rounds of birthday parties for the kiddos in my life, survived reading Scripture - in Aramaic - at our church's Easter service, and brought out the lawn mower for the first time. Love that freshly cut grass smell!

May

How to condense the month of May to a paragraph!? I enjoyed my birthday and all the celebrations that went with it. My sister, brother-in-law, and niece came to visit, and I loved spending time with them. And even before they vacated my guest room, I bailed on a vacation of my own! May was my first big-girl vacation...out to Hershey, Pennsylvania with my friend Amber. Long drive on a long toll road, but the beautiful botanical gardens, fun museum, and Chocolate World were well worth it!


June

June...the month my house was struck by lightning, which fried my phone and internet lines, and established literally hours of conversation on the automated trouble-shooting call center. It was bad when I could recite the menu alongside Ms. Fake Lady. When I wasn't on the phone with them...I was helping friends with projects, learning to grill, going to cookouts, and meeting my college roommate's new baby - Brady.

July

The baby-meeting fun continued into July when I was honored to attend the birth of baby James. Love this little guy! He waited the whole month to show up, so while I waited, I spent some time at the fair, went mini-golfing, gave some campus tours (oh such a funny story from that one tour!), and hosted a blogging Bible study!

August

August was a month spent with friends! A couple of my college friends stopped by while they were in town, I got to meet up with my friends at my old church when I visited for James' dedication, and I spent time with high school buddies at the summer game night. And when I wasn't doing all that - I was up at the lake, loving life on the water, and making friends with this little cutie!

September

My fall-o-fun kicked off in September when I went to the David Phelps Concert!! Still cracks me up that the defibrillator is in the background of this picture. I also spent time remembering my nephew (my real nephew, not an honorary one) who was stillborn 21 years ago.

October

Busy month, that October. It kicked off with the Extraordinary Women Conference, which I attended with my friend, Marie. Later that month, I went to hear my friend, Brent, do a concert. At the end of the month, I went to Brown County with another friend, Julie. Great vacation in the peak of foliage! :) Oh, and when I came home, the fun ended and yard work began. And continued. On and on.


November

I took a brief break from yard work to attend the Indy Christian Writer's Conference, where I met some new friends! And I enjoyed a wonderfully relaxing day at the Cherished Moments Craft Hideaway with some great scrapping friends! I foresee another visit to this in my 2010 future!


December

And that brings us to December - a month filled with friend after friend. Baking days, plays, shopping, home tours, concerts, tea and coffee dates, trips through the walkway of lights, candlelight services, presents, and fun. And of course, family. We couldn't all be together on Christmas, but I'm thankful for the family I have and how they put up with me and support me!

And now...I need a nap. :) I'm so looking forward to 2010. I am hoping for an equally fat scrapbook of equally wonderful memories!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

You Go, God!

Remember earlier this fall when I found (after endless research) the perfect fireplace for me?

Remember when I bought it and it didn't show up when it was supposed to? Remember when I didn't get a very good resolution from customer service? Remember when I declared in disgust that I was going to skip the entire thing and said I'd remodel the bathroom instead?

All that time, I kept wondering if maybe God had another plan in mind. I do believe God cares about everything - right down to fireplace drama.

Today I went into Meijer to pick up my 77 cents worth of pictures, and as is the case with me, I decided to case the clearance aisle. I love clearance. I imagined stumbling upon Christmas ornaments or wrapping paper.

Didn't imagine stumbling upon a fireplace.

What I found was one box of this model. On clearance. Half the price I'd paid for the one I never got. And this one has more storage. And best of all? It has a sort of "drop leaf" feature that allows it to become a corner unit...and when it's taken down, it's a flat wall unit. That had been one of my biggest conundrums when deciding on a unit. Corner or flat? This gave me both!

Just kidding about that being the best part. The best BEST part was that I did not have to assemble it at all. Dad and I brought it in the house, pulled it out of the box, and TA-DAAAA! All done!

What a huge blessing! What a great reminder that God does care about all the details - and sometimes the "wait a bit" plan is best.

Picturing...

I'm still slowly wading my way through this Bible study book.

The first question on tonight's list was a good one - and it made me thankful for the way God brings old memories back to teach me in a way that makes sense to my mind.

This chapter talks about how sometimes we're the prodigal and sometimes we're the brother. I haven't had the strength to answer the really hard questions yet, but the chapter began by reading the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Then she says, " Close your eyes and picture the Father running to you...What picture do you have in your head?"

I had to think about it for a while, but it came to me.

Have you been watching that new show on ABC called Find My Family? I am such a sucker for shows like this - beautiful stories that result in much cleansing of the tear ducts. In case you've missed it, the show is about people who have searched in vain for birth parents...or children they gave up...or family members they lost...and the show reunites them. At the end of each segment, the "found" person stands at the top of a hill under the family tree. The "searching" person stands at the bottom of the hill and makes the trek toward the tree.

The show must have some rules about making that moment and its suspense last as long as possible, because the seeker walks slowly...and the sought stands firmly under the tree...but even so, you can tell these people want to do some running. The person walking up the hill takes a little running step or two every now and then, and the person at the end of the path shifts nervously, and you can just tell that desire to break into a run is so overwhelming.

And that is what I thought of when I pictured God running. I pictured myself at the end of that path, looking up toward that tree, and seeing God standing there looking. Only in my mind, there are no TV-show-imposed rules that call for no running. He just runs. An Olympic-race run. Wind blowing in hair. Tripping forward, gasping for air, not caring about form...running.

And of course, at the end of every such run is a hug. And I had a picture for that, too.

This one comes from my high school days. I had an enormous crush on a guy I knew would never like me back. We were in two very different leagues, and I felt fortunate that he even recognized me. He did some local acting and one year he had the lead in a play. My best friend and I went to see him (God bless her for putting up with my ridiculousness), and after the play, he was on the stage greeting some friends. She pushed me toward him, and I gathered all my courage and called out his name just as he was turning to walk away. He looked over his shoulder, paused for a minute, recognized me, whipped around, and grabbed me in the biggest crushing hug I'd ever had. That hug lasted forever...a beautiful gift for an awkward teenager who just wanted to be noticed.

I pictured that, too. I pictured God sweeping me up in the never-ending hug and somehow making all the drama and worries evaporate.

It's a good exercise...picturing that moment. And I have a feeling that keeping the picture in my mind might help answer all the hard questions to come....

Final Bits for 2009!

It did not even occur to me until the other day that we are just days away from not only a new year – but a new decade. While reading some year-end recap list online, I encountered a decade-end recap list. How did this happen? Ten years? The infamous Y2K was ten whole years ago?

This news has me in somewhat of a dither, because I dearly love beautiful, clean closures. And this year, I’ve been so consumed with Christmas details that I’ve barely had time to reflect upon 2009 – let alone the first decade of this century. And even five whole vacation days looming ahead won’t be enough time…or so it feels.

I remember when 1999 rolled into 2000. I remember eating boxed mac and cheese, working on a puzzle, and wondering how I’d get home that night if the world and all its stoplights fell apart at midnight.

I was in college then…which might be why I can’t imagine ten years have passed. I’m not old enough to have been out of college almost ten years!

And yet this past decade has brought so much to my life:

I graduated from college, somehow managing to spend the last semester attending school full time, writing a book project, and working many hours a week in my newfound job.

The newfound job in the world of math was certainly not what I expected to do after college, but I was so thankful for it – and it’s one of the things about my life that hasn’t changed in ten years.
I moved into my grandparents’ house – which hasn’t changed – and began the revolving door of paint colors and furniture placement that continues to baffle my parents.

This was also the decade of professional bridesmaid-ship, and to prove it, I have a lovely selection of gowns in various styles, colors and sizes, and an accompanying interesting selection of wedding stories that could only happen in Bekahland.

My scrapping addiction took on a life of its own, and even though y’all might roll your eyes at the volumes of pictures that inhabit my house, I assure you I love looking at them all. In fact, I read through one of them just this evening.

To finance my scrapping addiction, I spent a few years selling products for Stampin’ Up! – which I’m convinced is what pushed me out of my shy-shell and into a people-loving personality. Didn’t hurt the stamp collection either!

Writing, writing, writing gave way to teaching Bible studies and coming up with more ideas of things to write – and eventually pushed me to take the publishing plunge –but that will come about in the next decade.

I became a cat-mom, which is not to be confused with the crazy cat lady. Kaegan and Braeya, though still currently on probation for the mouse-in-the-house situation, have been such a blessing, and I’m glad they’re part of my little writing house. It seems only appropriate.

Watching so many of my friends journey into marriage and parenthood has been fun and educational. Though there have been many moments when I didn’t enjoy being on the outside looking in (I won’t pretend to be the hero – most of you know better, anyway) I have done my very best to absorb what I’ve seen so that someday I can make good use of their ups and downs!
It’s been a decade of learning I can do more than I thought – including cooking, mowing the yard, cleaning up cat yammy, driving in cities (notice I said learning I can do….not learning to love), paying bills, living on a budget, and changing the oil. JUST KIDDING on that last one. Wanted to see if Dad was awake.

Not every moment was pretty. I had my share (maybe more than my share) of tripping, falling, and sometimes not having the will to get back up. Learned some lessons the hard way, and others are still lessons in progress. What’s that old song I learned as a kid? “He’s still workin’ on me?”

So that’s a decade in Bekahland – in major fast forward. Right now I don’t want to think ahead to ten years down the road, because I’m not ready to embrace being over forty. Let me work my way through being over thirty first. But that aside, I am excited to see what this decade brings. Welcome, 2010 and subsequent decade!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Yes, it's 2 in the morning on Christmas, and I'm up watching Super Nanny, listening to clothes dry and Braeya purr. I had a pretty lazy Christmas Eve - until the end of it! I went to our church's candlelight service and then watched Elf with one of my friends. And now - it's Christmas!

This is a longer than normal post for me, but I wanted to give you a little (big) tour of Christmas at my house...enjoy!

This is part of a beautiful long poinsettia and greenery piece that I got for a steal a few years ago at a Homemaker's Idea party. I bought a Christmas package of random stuff, and this was one of my treasures. Since I don't have a mantle, it sits on the top of the entertainment center.

And if you sent me a Christmas card this year...it went right in this little holder. I love looking through them...and counting them to see if I'm winning against Dad.

The stockings can't be hung by the chimney with care, since there is no chimney, but Kaegan and Braeya do have stuffed stockings - despite their lack of mouse-catching.

This is the main tree. I bought it last year - very skinny, I know, but my living room is small, so it fits it nicely. It has 600 lights and all the Victorian looking ornaments on it. This year's addition were the little cranberry and gold colored berry sprays at the top by the angel.

Went to a friend's house earlier this month and made two of these ornaments - and now I want to make dozens more. The other one I made is more of a rose color. Gorgeous.

Another Homemaker's Idea purchase - these little gold flowers that snap over a light. I keep some up year round in a couple of rooms.

I have several little gold instrument ornaments on the main tree. Breaks up the monotony of all the round ornaments.

Love these rose ornaments. I figure if I ever get married, I'll have to exchange the pretty flower tree for a sports tree, so I enjoy it while I can. :)

A few years ago, my sister gave me a set of these old fashioned looking ornaments - and they fit right in with the theme.

They're not quite brown paper packages tied up with strings, but here is the paper that goes with my "Favorite Things" Christmas theme for this year.

My stocking. Yep, it's empty. This is my original stocking - made for me when I was a baby. Even though there's no one to fill it up, I like having it out for the memories.

I had to do some tree swapping this year. In years past, this tree has been decorated in an Americana theme, but this year it became the home to my S'more ornament collection. Several years ago, I found my first S'more and decided I loved it. One of my friends surprised me that Christmas by bringing me a tiny tree with the start of my collection. Over the years, other friends/family/yours truly have added to it until it is too much for the original tiny tree. So this year the S'more collection moved into the dining room on this slightly bigger tree.

I got this S'more from my friend Amber - and she lives in Hong Kong now. :( I miss her but think of her every time I see it!

And this one (appropriately) from my best friend - who now lives in Virginia Beach. I love it that almost every S'more has a story with it - such great memories attached!

The original S'more tree found new life in the office as the tree for the hodge-podge ornaments. This collection includes ornaments that survived my childhood and a few random additions from more recent years.

Two ceramic Santas - I painted the one on top, and Mom painted the one below. (As if you couldn't tell.) For several years, when I was in elementary school, Mom painted ceramics and would sometimes take me with her. I made several gifts in those years! In fact, this Santa that I painted was a gift for my grandparents. After their deaths, it was given back to me, and now I can enjoy remembering them when I see it!

Throughout high school and college, I babysat for a living. This ornament was a gift from one of the families I sat for regularly.

And of course - baby's first Christmas!

This had been the tree for the hodge-podge ornaments, and that's why it had the colored lights. (They remind me of the trees of my childhood.) This year it took on new life in the kitchen with some fake retro ornaments. This tree needs some work. Hopefully I can hit some after-Christmas sales to spice it right up.

See? Fake retro ornament. I got a whole box of them on an after-Christmas sale a couple of years ago and hadn't had a place to use them until now.

This is a new tree this year and it's pathetically Charlie Brownish. I need to add to it. This is the bathroom tree. I wanted it to be white and silver, because most of the decor in the bathroom is in the blue/purple/cool colors feel.

Also in the bathroom - this super cute candle ring I found for next to nothing at the Hobby Lobby earlier this year.

Love this snowman my friend Kari gave me for Christmas last year. He is in the bathroom too and just completes the look.

This is up in my bedroom and is one of my favorites. The nativity is another of Mom's ceramic creations, and the Bible was my grandparents' Bible.

I always keep it open to Luke 2 during the Christmas season.

The bedroom tree - which I have LOVED waking up to each morning. My bedroom, as you can see, is purple, so this has a blue/purple/gold theme. This year i added the purple sparklies at the top and they look so beautiful with the light reflecting...

Did I mention the purple sparklies???

Love the big gold ornaments. I found those for a super good price at a tent sale down at the Gaither store a few years back.

This is a candle holder that I fill with tiny ornaments

My other bathroom is very tiny - so this tree doesn't even have lights. It needs work too. Until this year it had red bows on it, but I wanted to go with a snow theme. I need more snow.

The guest room tree. Mom made this too - it used to be my great grandma's tree in her nursing home room. I like it because it works for a night light - and the decorations in the guest room are mostly things I inherited.

Some angels I've acquired over the years...

Another thing I inherited from Grandma - some little skating figurines...

An ornament I still have from fifth grade. My teacher, Mrs. Bryan, had an ornament for every student, and until Christmas break, they dangled from the ceiling tiles. On the last day of school, she took them down and gave them to us and I still display mine every year.

The quilt rack int he guest room - the "earthy" look. :)

Hope you have a merry Christmas!