Ryan's Wedding Gift

You thought you were done with wedding talk, didn't you? Well...I had a few things I didn't get to blog about and I want to, both so I can tell you...and so I can include them on our love story page! So for the next few days...we're reverting to wedding-land.

I wrote a while ago about the perfect start to our wedding day, but I didn't write about the gift I gave Ryan. I wasn't sure he wanted me to share about it...because it was a pretty personal gift. But then we had him as a guest on BLT and he talked about it in great detail, so I figured it was now fair game for the el-blog-o. So I'll share it with you and hope you love it too!

We talked before the wedding about gifts...did we want to do them or not? Well I already had a gift all lined up...so I just needed to know if I needed to go spend-crazy on another gift. But we decided since we were doing a destination wedding, we should go low-cost on the gifts.

He had no idea I'd started his wedding gift in 1997.

Yes. 1997.

Not even 19 years old and already aching to be married. Aching to know who I'd spend my life with. Bubbling over with dreams, wishes, hopes, fears, and thoughts to share with the person I'd live with for life.

And I didn't know who he was or where he was.

So I started writing letters.

And I wrote...and wrote...and wrote.

Careful handwriting, dreams transcribed on paper...
...hoping one day the man who wanted to make me his would understand my dreams and hopes and desires and my choice to put them on paper out of love for him.

And in all honesty, as I dated now and then, it was a question I always asked myself. Would this man love, understand, and treasure those letters buried in my dresser drawer? Or would he cast them aside and call them stupid?

As time went by, my heart began to lose hope that this man existed, and the frequency of the letters slowed. It was almost painful to hope that he was out there. That he would find me. That he would take the risk to actually choose me.

And in late November, 2012, just days before our wedding, I penned the final letter in the collection. The first in three years. The first to actually bear a real name. The first time I returned to a dream born in an 18 year old heart.

I stacked them up in order and hid them in this treasure box...and with a mixture of hope and nervousness, I tucked them in a gift bag and packed them with the wedding boxes to travel to Florida.

That morning we sat on borrowed beach towels on the sands of Siesta Key, our shoes resting beside us, our toes digging into the sand, and Ryan pulled the box out of the bag. He looked at it in confusion and opened the lid. He stared at the top envelope and looked at me.

I explained to him what I'd done, and he looked at me with a combination of amazement and deep love...and pulled out the first letter.

I sat across from him in the sand, sipping coffee while the sun crept higher in the sky and watched as my husband-by-nightfall read the first letter. The one written in March of 1997. The one by the 18 year old girl who was a whole different girl than the one who sat on the sand. I saw a tear escape his eyes and relief flooded through me.

He liked them. He understood them.

He didn't read them all that day. In fact, we're still reading them. A couple of nights each week, before we go to bed, he'll pull the next letter out of the box and read it aloud to me while I bury my face in his shoulder, remembering that time in life and sometimes giggling at my own early-twenties silliness.


It was the perfect wedding gift for him. So glad I did it.

The Shafferland Shuffle

I figured the weekly recap needed a new name since I have a new name! (Or at least I'm trying to have a new name...would go a lot better if I could actually make headway with SSA!)

* Last Sunday I had the most putrid attitude on the planet. I could not shake it to save my LIFE! I cried at church...I took a LONG nap in the afternoon and was STILL grumpy. I felt so bad for Ryan. I wanted to get away from me, but I was sort of stuck with me. He chose to sit there and be nice to me, and for that, he deserves a medal. The one good moment of the day was a new keeper slow cooker recipe!! Salsa chicken...and it was YUMMY.

* Monday I had to work a half-day, and they allowed me to work from home to save gas, so I really appreciated that! And of course, that evening was the New Year's Eve party at my friends' house! Much laughter, many hugs from the kiddos, way too much really yummy food, and some fun games! Great way to end the best year of my life.

* Tuesday was New Year's Day, and I so appreciated the chance to have an all-day date with Ryan. From breakfast in bed...to organizing things at home...to cooking together...to watching a movie...to reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the new one...it was pretty much the perfect way to start a new year!

* Wednesday I went back to work, and we had our first live show of 2013...which introduced our theme for the year. We are going to focus on how God writes our stories and how each of us has a valuable story to share, regardless of how "big" it is in the eyes of the world. The show was so powerful to my heart...one of the most meaningful interviews I've ever done. God is up to something big!

 * Thursday evening I stopped by Meijer to pick up some things for the last minute menu-switch dinner for Ryan and while there...happened through the granola bar aisle just to see....if by chance...they had my favorite Kind bars. {Been looking for about a year. They never have them.} BUT. Never say never:

 THEY HAD THEM!!!! I'm ashamed to admit that this little box of goodness made my whole day.

* Friday night, Ryan and I went on a date! I still get really excited about those. We had a gift card to Red Robin, so we drove to the same one we ate dinner at on our first date. {Sigh of giddy love.} I ate about 4 bites of my burger and focused on downing the bottomless fries. Burgers reheat. :) But my favorite moment of the date was when we were driving down and Ryan said to me, "You have something on your face." I grabbed the visor to look in the mirror and found this clipped to it:

* And then there was yesterday. The day of the mad cleaning adventure. We tore our house APART. We put away all the Christmas decorations, swept up the remnants of Chuck, Ryan cleaned the carpets in the dining room, kitchen, and hall...we cleaned out the storage closets under the stairs and relocated some of the kitchen cabinet stuff in there...and we started tackling the crazy messy office. We worked HARD! And apparently...it seems...we actually have one of these. Haven't seen it since we've been married:

{I mean the tabletop...not the candle.}

A great week...I loved the way we were able to combine MUCH productivity with great times together...some dates, some rest, and even some {gasp} exercise. My thighs hate me. {No matter. The feeling is mutual.}

A Little Peek into Shafferland

My house is becoming our house...and I love it. LOVE. IT.

Many of our rooms are in a state of um...disarray...but our living room is pretty well arranged, and I love it. I love the way it reflects who we are and how it brings us comfort in its cozy little way.

 My best friend gave me this frame a couple of years ago - right after the desert - and I fell in love with it. It says "Life is fragile. Handle with Prayer....If God brings you to it, He will see you through it." Seemed fitting after the desert. All this time, I've had in there a picture from this vacation...when God began to heal my heart.

What an absolute joy it was to take out that picture and put in the picture of redemption...

One of our newest acquisitions...Ryan's giant clock. He'd wanted one of these the whole time we were engaged, so I was excited to get it for him for Christmas. He loved it, and hung it up right away. I love seeing it hang in our living room...a strong reminder of how precious our  time together is.

This was a gift from Ryan's sister and brother-in-law...and I just love it. She read my blog post of my vows and knew I'd included this Scripture passage in my words to Ryan, so she hunted around for this wall art and gave it to us as a wedding gift. We put it near the clock...a wonderful reminder to me of the promises I made that day.

One of my favorite parts of the living room is our fireplace. We love sitting by it every evening while we watch TV, eat our dinner, drink coffee, and have great heart-to-heart conversations. And most of all, I love the pictures on top...one from our engagement...one from our 10K race...and one from our first dance (with a bottle of Siesta Key sand beside it....) This is our life.

 Pictures...dances...races...and coziness.

Our sign that we bought for our engagement photos and then used again at our wedding. Love what it represents.

We are an and now.

Ryan bought me this sign for Christmas. It says "Life is a journey. Enjoy it." I love that. This is how we strive to live...enjoying and soaking up each moment and not wishing away the seasons as they come. Enjoying the hard times and what they teach us as well as the fun times {which are just easy to love.}

I love it that we put this over our door...as a parting thought for ourselves and for anyone who comes to visit.

And speaking of parting thoughts...he gave me this one for Christmas too, and I love what it represents. We hate being apart by so many miles every day but trust the Lord to do this for us.

Our little couch-nest, where we curl up every evening to rest and watch TV. Our ottomans, which serve as laptop tables...dinner tables...{yes we are one of those couples who has a table but doesn't use it}...coffee holders...you name it. It was sitting right here that our relationship began, in its most fledgling form, in the first place. I love this spot.

And one of the most beautiful sights to me in the whole living room...is Ryan's Bible. I bought it as a gift to him when we first started dating, and he puts it right here after his devotions every day. I love seeing it there and being reminded that someone else dwells here now too. And that someone leads me so well...God is good.

So that's just a little peek inside the organized part of our home. It's small, it's a little quirky...but it's so us. We love it here. And we hope those who visit see God in these walls and in our marriage.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Ryan and I were blessed to both have New Year's Day off work {something that doesn't necessarily happen automatically in his profession} and we thoroughly enjoyed our day together. Because we commute in opposite directions throughout the week, our time together is very precious to us and we don't take it for granted.

We "slept in" {Ryan's definition of sleeping in is 8 a.m. Mine is noon. We go with his version and get a lot more done during the day. Don't tell him but I don't even mind.}

I'd put together a breakfast casserole the day before, so I got up and put that in the oven so we could have breakfast in bed on New Year's Day!! I added 12 grapes on a skewer...supposed to be good luck to eat 12 grapes to ring in the new year. We don't believe in luck but it sure is a fun (and pretty!) way to eat grapes!

And then we enjoyed the most leisurely morning together....taking our time to do our devotions and watching some TV. It was just lovely in every way.

Thought you might like to see this little printable I framed for our New Year's Eve celebration. Pretty cute!! I'll save it and use it again next year!

In the afternoon, we....

...ahem...

went to Wal-Mart.

I don't even want to talk about it. I went because I am in love and people do crazy things for love. :) There are no photos of this event because...well...it wasn't a highlight. :)

And for dinner, Ryan grilled steaks. Oh my word. SO GOOD. He's amazing with the grill and I'm happy to let him treat me to dinner whenever he likes! I tried my hand at baking butternut squash. Have y'all ever cooked with butternut squash? You need a hatchet to get into one of those things! My WORD! We went through about half a knife block trying to find the right knife to cut through that stupid thing! About an hour, a sink full of dirty knives, and two exhausted cooks later, we had these yummy little treasures.  

We did try to work some...cleaned up the living room. And by cleaned, I mean Ryan even steamed the carpets and got two old unidentified {probably hair dye} stains out of them! I put new pictures in frames. Don't you love our definitions of cleaning?? :)

And then we watched the movie Click. I'd never seen it - and it was funny AND made me cry my fool head off. The mark of a good movie.

We wrapped up our New Year's Day by filling out this little questionnaire I found online last year. {And he listened to me read my answers from last year. Can't wait for us to read our answers next year!}

Oh! And we went through the time capsule I started last year during my celebration with Faith. I bought an "R" initial to add to the box so we can share the capsule this next year. It was SO FUN to go through the whole thing and relive the memories of the year! Lots of good giggles and a few tears.

You know this man loves me when he'll sit there and fill out a questionnaire to put in a zebra striped box with a purple glittery initial on top. God has blessed me beyond what I deserve. :)

Amazing day with my sweet love. Bring on 2013!! We're ready to enjoy!

What Were We Doing New Year's Eve?

I'd been SO looking forward to my first New Year's Eve as a wife!! 

If I go anywhere at all to ring in the new year...it's usually to see my friends, the Hancocks. Ryan had only met them once...last September...very briefly at church one morning, when we went to see their daughter, Savannah, get baptized. So we decided to go there for New Year's Eve! 

As always...the food was uh-mazing. {Including those bacon wrapped bbq shrimp thingies. Sigh. Be still my beating heart...}

 Two-thirds of my kiddos. These two almost always knock me over at the door with much love and many hugs...and then they like to sit as close to me as possible. I am quite sure I burned at least a few extra calories....enough for one of the bacon wrapped bbq shrimp thingies to be a cancel-out....I mean surely.

 Much to Ryan's surprise, I agreed to play Wii Bowling. I don't think he expected me to so readily agree to a game. Not much can damage me in this one. I'm unlikely to break a nail {like in real bowling} and the risk of yelling out something stupid {like in Catch Phrase} is minimal. So yes. I am happy to Wii bowl.

 See? Toldja!!!

 I was trying to cause Ryan to mess up by flashing the camera light...but he's a good one and did not let that bother him IN the least. Can't blame a girl for trying!

 I mean I hate to brag and all...but um.... LOOK WHO WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Even though it was a lot of fun to spend the evening with our friends...I was also glad we sneaked out about 10:30 to come back home and ring in the new year in our own home...just the two of us. I'd planned a little New Year's Eve/New Year's Day date...so that started when we got home from the party!

We spent some time in prayer before midnight...it has been a very full year - with heartbreak and joy for both of us - and we wanted to spend time acknowledging that before our God. I am so thankful that Ryan is the kind of man who wants to pray in a new year. Can't even tell you how much I love that.

I had one more bottle of Biltmore Sparkling Grape Juice saved from this summer...so I pulled that out and added this tag, which I found through...of course, my friend Pinterest!

 HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2013!!!!!!!

 I found these little number candles at the dollar store...so I put them in 3...2...1 order and put a star in for the HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Cake is an ice cream cake I found in the grocery store freezer.)

 And of course...noisemakers. {It occurred to me later that noisemakers + cat + open flame on the candles might NOT have been the greatest of ideas...}

 I had also filled balloons with confetti, and we broke them to celebrate. {And we will be cleaning up confetti until NYE 2013, I'm sure.}

 Of course there was the New Year's kiss...and a toast with our sparkling grape juice! The PERFECT way to ring in the new year!!

Love you so much, Sweetheart! Thanks for making this New Year's Eve my best ever. So excited to be by your side in 2013. And let's live this way:

"Your 2013 doesn't need to-do lists like it needs to-God-be-the-glory lists." - Maggie Pluim

Happy One Month Anniversary To Us!

One month ago today....

Today...well...we're behind the wheels of two different vehicles, navigating the snow-covered roadways to our separate jobs in separate towns. My hair was "done" this morning with significantly less effort {and hairspray} and Ryan, to my knowledge, is not wearing a tie chain. {Funny how those don't work on scrubs.}

Please, oh please take me back to the beach!!

But I digress.

I told Ryan the other day that our wedding feels like a lifetime ago. It feels like we've always been married.

It. Feels. Right.

Our first month of marriage has been anything but ordinary.

We spent the first week of it on our honeymoon...

...enjoying the beach...

...and then we came home and launched, headfirst into decorating for our first Christmas....

...and then, of course, there WAS Christmas. Our first Christmas together...less than one month after we said our vows.

...it's been a busy month. Since slipping rings on each other's hands, we traveled over 1200 miles in 2 days...we moved into the same home and began to learn each other's routines, habits and schedules...we began the {seemingly never ending} tasks of combining our "behind the scenes" lives, changing my name, and bringing two physical households into one...we continued to learn each other's quirks...we made it through the first {albeit minor} sickness...and we did a lifetime of laughing.

And just a whisper before this month-anniversary milestone, we ushered in a brand new year...full of glorious unknown.


 And we welcome it eagerly, knowing that our God has written the year ahead just for us...and we are excited to live out its days together.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

SSMT Verse 1

Today begins a brand new Scripture memory adventure for me! Beth Moore is doing her Siesta Scripture Memory Team (SSMT) project again this year, and I {oh girl who stinks at memorization} will be joining up again to try to hide more of the Word in my heart!

The first verse I've chosen to memorize is also my verse for the year. {You know how I always love having a verse for the year.} A few weeks ago, my heart was broken over something I'd said to Ryan, and I spent some time in Psalm 51. I ran across this verse and have not been able to get it off my mind since:

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

Psalm 51:6 (ESV)

The part that particularly got me was that second half...you teach me wisdom. Becoming a wife has been one of the most wonderful things I've ever experienced. I've prayed for YEARS for this to come to pass in my life, and I'm so grateful to now be living the answer to the prayer. I read so many books about relationships and how to be a wife...and it's true that in their pages, I learned so many things that I'm now grateful to know.

But.

There's not a manual for Ryan and Bekah. No two people with our two particular sets of quirks and habits have ever before come together to live and love. And there are times I am not sure what to do...not because Ryan is difficult. Far from it. {Probably because I am difficult!} But because I've never been a wife before, I don't always know the right reactions...the right heart to have...

...And it is in those moments that I've found myself whispering a prayer to God...teach me. I know that the only way I can be the wife God made me to be is if God Himself teaches me how. The books...the seminars...the observations...all those things I did in preparation for marriage...are still good. They still taught me. I still glean from them. But ultimately the only way I can be the best Bekah and best wife...is for God to teach me wisdom in the secret places of my heart.

I ache for that this year. I know there are going to be times when I mess up and my heart will ache deeply from things I say or do {without thinking} that hurt Ryan. But I also know that when I sit in this spot one year from now, I want to be able to look back and say "I asked my Beloved to teach me, and He did. He taught me truth and wisdom in the innermost places of my being and because of it...I could be what He called me to be."

My Bible's study note says this about Psalm 51:6 - "The proper posture of the penitent is to crave a fresh sense of God's presence, a deeper purification of the moral life, and a credible witness to the unfaithful. The focus is on the inmost self, from which obedient actions flow...the goal of this confession is...the renewal of the joy and gladness that the faithful have in God's presence."

I ache for that. So this year...Teach me, God.

New Year...New Habits

You can like new year resolutions or hate them...but I have to tell you I love the way a new year gives me the opportunity for a fresh mental start. Yes, I know it's all in my mind...that I could start new habits any day of the year...but I like the freshness of January 1.

This year is a different one for me. I not only take stock of my own life...my own heart...my own future...but I take stock of what my life needs to best serve the life of another. What my own heart needs to cultivate to not only give love to Ryan, but receive love from him. What my future might entail...that will in turn affect HIS future.

He and I have our hopes, of course. Hopes of finding a job for him that is closer to mine so we don't have to spend extra hours each day apart from the other. Hopes of selling both our homes and finding a new house that together we can transform into a home. But it might not happen that way. A year from now, we might still be sitting in this same house, working the same jobs. And if that's the case, it's okay. We'll just pray for extra commuting grace. :)

But here are some things I'm doing in hopes of making a busy-commuting-new-wife life the best it can be. Things that hopefully will cultivate my relationship with God and in turn help me be what Ryan needs.

1. USE the day planner. I bout this Planner Perfect planner partway through the year last year, and I really like it. There's a lot of freedom in it to use the pages how I want to use them...customize them for daily to-do lists, shopping lists, date-planning, and more.

So the goal is to use it to the max...not just to write appointments in the boxes of the monthly calendar, but to use it as its creator intended...to make life dreams and goals a reality on paper.

2. Read through the Bible. A few years ago, I read through the Bible in a year. It felt like a marathon...and we all know how I do with running. NOT WELL. I said I'd never do it again. But I stumbled upon this over at Melanie's blog a few days ago and thought I might give it a shot again this year. She's taken the daily reading plan and transformed it into a weekly reading plan. I like that concept. If I have a day that is packed and I don't get to read...it's okay. And if I have a day with 2 spare hours...(what is THAT!?!?!?) I can catch up...get ahead...whatever!

3. Read a daily devo again. This past year, I really floundered with daily devos. I didn't have one that I read consistently and as a result, my quality time with the Lord every day really suffered. That is not a good way to start a marriage. If I had one thing to do over about this past year...it would be that. I should not have slacked off with my God-time!! So, at my request, Ryan got me this devo book for Christmas:

The book is called Praying the Promises of God by Cheri Fuller and Jennifer Kenned Dean. Lynne told me they are both phenomenal prayer warriors so I'm excited about what the book holds.

4. Participate in Beth Moore's SSMT again. I did this two years ago (she only does it every other year) and it was great accountability for me in working on Scripture memory...which is something I'm TERRIBLE at doing. It urges women to memorize two verses a month - one at the beginning of the month and one halfway through. I'll give it my best shot!

5. Work out 3 times a week. UGH. After the 10K, I completely fell off the exercise bandwagon. Ryan and I got engaged less than a week after the race and the next two months were packed with urgent wedding planning and then there was...you know...Christmas. So I've just done NOTHING. And it shows. I feel disgusting. (Not a great way to start a marriage either...I'm just a slacker!!) So here we go again. Back to the routine. It's really important to Ryan and I want to make sure I stay faithful to that!

6. Date planning once a month. I love theme dates and have some already marinating in my mind. My goal is to plan a fun date for the two of us once a month. I'm excited about sharing them with you after they take place! (Can't tell you before then because Ryan reads the blog and that would ruin the surprise!

So those are some of my goals!!! Hoping for many successes! :)