Thankful, Indeed

Well, I figure today, half of you will be sleeping off your turkey consumption from yesterday, and the other half of you will be out shopping. I'll be doing neither. I didn't eat any turkey and I am NOT a Black Friday shopper.

But did you have a good Thanksgiving? We did!!

It was so nice to sleep in {until Braeya decided we'd had enough and woke us up}. I had grand dreams of running a 5K {of our own} that morning and watching the Thanksgiving day parade, but instead, we slept in and I dyed my roots.

Before we headed out for the day's festivities, we worked to push Ryan's truck into our garage {yes, it's under the weather again}. When yours truly is half the muscle of such an operation, you can know you're in pretty big trouble. We strained and worked...and right about the time we had the truck completely blocking the road, a car drove up behind us. We felt horrible for holding up their travels, but we couldn't do much to make it go faster. Imagine our surprise when they hopped out and told us they lived down the road, saw us pushing, and drove down just to help us! Talk about thankful!! What a way to start the day!

We packed our crock pot of Swedish meatballs in the car and set out over the river and through the woods to find our Thanksgiving lunch!

This year was an unusual year in the land of Shaffer. It was the first time we did not go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving lunch. We went to Ryan's side this year, and it is pretty opposite from our get-togethers. Ryan's immediate family has more members than my whole family. We gathered for lunch at Ryan's aunt and uncle's house, and it was a "small" year with probably 30-40 people in the house.

 One of Ryan's cousins brought the appetizer I could have eaten for the entire meal: dill pickles wrapped in cream cheese and ham. Seriously...mouth watering just typing that.

We had a great time talking with cousins and family members we rarely get to see - and I had a good long talk with Ryan's grandpa, too! And somehow, by the end of the day, Ryan found himself outside with the kids:

We did stop by to see my parents on the way home, and we were home in time for a good nap before it was time to wake up and go to bed!

And can we just pause to mention how amazing the weather was? To be able to run around outside without a coat on Thanksgiving is a rare treat in Indiana!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear bloggy friends:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I know this day can bring emotional collision for many of you.

Some of you are dreading it because of who might be missing this year, whether that missing person was there before and now is gone or has yet to arrive at all. Some of you are dreading it because you know it will escalate family drama or punctuate the truth that you're separated from family, even if family brings drama. Some of you are dreading it because you really don't like anything turkey or pumpkin.

But some of you are excited for it. Excited for a day off, a day of rest, a day with family. Maybe some of you are excited for the turkey and pumpkin.

Regardless of the camp you land in today, it's a day to pause and be thankful for what is good and right. Even if you have to think hard, there is something good and right in your world.

We're thankful, here in Shafferland, because we're wrapping up our third year of life together, and while it has been all kinds of interesting this year, we celebrate the things that have transpired since this same day last year.

* We are thankful our Greentown house sold. Last year at Thanksgiving, we were still biting our nails waiting for Ryan's house in Greentown to sell. It held {probably still holds, actually} the record for the longest sale in our Realtor's career. Not exactly what we were going for, but I guess it's good to hold a record in something. This year of just owning one home has been beautiful. And every time we drive by it, we're thankful for the family who gets to enjoy it now. They've had a hard year, and we hope the house has made it a little brighter.

* We are thankful for our health and the fine folks in health care. After a year of continued dental rehab AND gallbladder surgery, I am thankful to be feeling healthy this year. I'm thankful for insurance, for the nurses and doctors who took care of me, and for all the many friends and family members who came to visit and brought delicious food. And I'm really thankful Ryan is so great about health care. He was encouraging and helpful and a prayer warrior when I was so scared.

 * We are thankful for the change in seasons. Leaving WBCL was a hard act of obedience, but we are grateful we said yes to this major life change. This new season of life has brought about much adjustment, but it has also brought about much freedom and much rest that we had sorely been missing in our lives. I am grateful for Ryan's sacrifices so I can pursue writing and homemaking, and Ryan is grateful for the additional rest and free time he gets since he doesn't have as many home-chores anymore!

* We are thankful for Mo. That may be a first - a couch making a gratitude list. But last year, we stepped away from tradition and scrapped giving each other Christmas gifts so we could get our beloved couch {which we named Mo, in case you're new here and don't have a clue what I'm talking about}. It was one of the best investments we made in our daily life. We love Mo! He was so helpful on my gallternity leave, he's been a great place to curl up and read, to take naps, to offer to guests...we love Mo!

* We are thankful for new opportunities to serve. This year brought about a couple of new ways that we can serve together at church, and we have so enjoyed them. We get to help with greeting and with the little cafe, and both have been a blast for us. Sometimes finding your place in a church can be hard, especially when you go to a big church, so we've been thankful for these opportunities that come our way.

* We are thankful for simple. One of the big things we've taken on in the past year - and are continuing to take on in additional forms - is simplicity. Part of quitting my job was about simplifying. Taking on the capsule wardrobe project was about simplifying. And there are many other things as well. Getting to comb through our house and get rid of what we don't need was freeing. {And I'm about to go for round two.} Having a yard sale and getting to see the fruit of the labor was freeing and financially helpful. So we're just thankful to be at a place where we don't need more stuff as much as we need more simplicity.

* We are thankful for vacations. Vacations are a privilege, not a given. This I learned during about the first seven years of my post-college life when I could not afford one at all. :( So I am hyper-sensitive when it comes to appreciating the opportunity to sneak away, even for a little bit. This year we had the chance to spend a long weekend in Tennessee, a long weekend at the lake with Ryan's family, and a long week running around the eastern half of this nation. We are grateful for safety in our travels, amazing weather, and the beauty of this country that we got to see while we drove and hiked around. Thankful, thankful, thankful.

There's much more, but you have a dinner to go eat, I'm sure. Thank YOU, dear friends, for hanging out here with us, reading our adventures, and chatting with us in the comments. We say frequently that we don't understand why people want to come over and read our crazy stories, but sure are thankful you do.

We love you!!!

The Early Anniversary Gift

It's hard to be the OCD girl when it comes to gift giving. ESPECIALLY when you know there are lists that categorize the themes for gift giving. Anniversaries have themes, you know. Perhaps my gift planning would go more smoothly if I didn't know this, actually.

The theme for the first anniversary is paper, so when that day rolled around, I gave Ryan subway art chronicling our first year. The second anniversary theme is cotton, so I gave him a canvas with a quote he loved. And then comes the third anniversary: leather. What do you even get for a leather anniversary? {Maybe just don't answer that out loud, mmmmmkay?}

After wrestling with it for a while, I finally decided it might be okay to stray from the all-consuming list just a bit and get something that might {are you ready for this???} NOT be leather.

GASP.

Ryan and I love to window shop, and one night, as we strolled slowly through TJ Maxx, he saw a metal rhino head on the shelf. Yes. You read that correctly. A metal rhino head. It was intended to hang on the wall much like a deer head.

I've never seen a human being get as excited as Ryan did in that TJ Maxx aisle looking at that glorious piece of wall art.

You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not. He loved that metal rhino. He looked at the price and put it back on the shelf, declaring it too expensive.

Whew.

But he talked about it the rest of the way through the store. About what a great coat rack that rhino would make for his office at work.

And so it was that a few days later, I tip-toed through the store again, hoping the rhino would still be there. On one hand, I really didn't think I had much to worry about, because hello...obvious. On the other hand, if it wasn't there, I knew I would never find another one, because hello...obvious.

It was there, on the shelf, and even on sale. Bingo. I carried that silly thing to the front, and when the cashier asked if I found everything okay, I said, "Interestingly enough, yes." She laughed.

I'd been hanging onto this little gem for our anniversary, but last week, Ryan started talking about shopping for a coat rack for his office - now - so I decided to give it to him early. After all, it seems coat weather is officially here to stay. So last Friday, when I went to his work to meet him for a date, I took the gift.

I think he liked it.

He was SO excited.

He was even MORE excited after he said "You didn't pay full price for this, did you?" He loved it more when he found out it was on sale.

His new coat rack!!

He said it was the best gift he'd ever gotten in his life. I'm not even sure how to take that, but I am so very happy he liked it.

Even if it wasn't leather. :)

Something New...

You know how it goes when you have a great idea...and then it takes 800 times as long to put it into motion as you expected?

Welcome to our life.

Months ago...like back at Easter...when we knew God was calling us to commit to my resignation from WBCL, we also knew we were going to sorely miss the world of radio. It's hard when the thing you love so much is also the thing that consumes you, and God asks you to go hands-off.

But the beauty of this age is that when you love something like radio, you can have a taste of it at home...in a little thing called a podcast.

Before I even left the station, we'd purchased the equipment, dreamed up a name, talked to friends about help, and had begun brainstorming our first episode.

But then the pesky little parts of new projects crept up and we were delayed...and delayed again...and delayed again.

But we are so very excited that as of this week, we have a podcast up and running!!!! It's just something fun we wanted to do together, and it's something we hope you'll enjoy as well.

I would like to introduce to you to...

Here are some things you should know:

* Our plan is to record a new podcast each week and make it available to you on Tuesday right here on the blog.

* The format of this podcast is similar to the BLT show I used to do with Lynne. We are not trying to duplicate what she and I did, because that's just not possible. But we loved the fun, banter-y, lighthearted nature of that show and that is what we hope to deliver in the podcast.

* We are shooting for each episode to be about a half hour long...long enough to have some fun, but short enough to not take your entire day.

* There is a big difference between recording a show in a studio with a full staff of talented and experienced hosts and engineers and recording a show at home with the two of us. We beg for grace as we find our groove and as I learn to do the technical stuff in full.

* We also beg for grace as we find our voice in this thing. Every week can only get better, right?

In this particular episode...
  
 * You won't want to miss my blooper, found in the first MINUTE or so of the show. Good grief. I retracted it as soon as I discovered it, but seriously, Bekah. SERIOUSLY.

* This photo goes with the story in the second segment. Pausing for a moment of sadness.

* The poor, poor fern, post trimsie. 

* The more serious thoughts come from the first chapter of my Advent devo - a chapter about Mary. We're planning to share some thoughts inspired by that book each week leading up to Christmas.

We hope you enjoy Spill the Beans! {Who knows what kinds of beans might get spilled each week!?!}

To listen to this week's episode, click on the link below the photo:

Click here to listen.

First Snow

One weekend ago, Ryan and I stood in our backyard, in t-shirts, tearing down the remnants of summer and raking up the remnants of fall.

This weekend: snow.

The snow surprised me, actually. Sure, they predicted it, but we were on the southern bubble, and it seems like in the past few years, when the first snows are predicted, the promised accumulation is actually a dusting. So this time, I expected the dusting.

We still went to the store the night before, because I figured there would be the panicked folks who would go buy up all the bread and milk, and while this would NEVER be my choice of food staples for a blizzard, both things were actually on my grocery list, so I wanted to be sure to beat the crowd to get them.

The first flakes were the kind you have to squint to see - the kind that count only if you're in some kind of a contest to see the actual first snow. I figured the flurries were about to fizzle out, and then they didn't.

I sat in a restaurant with my friends and watched as snow-globe-esque flakes fell. We watched as they stuck to the cars and then the road. We watched as other people entered with giant, almost fake-looking flakes clinging to their coats.

Not just flurries.

We picked our way home from lunch, respecting the heavy, wet snow that sloshed against the wheels, and hoping those coming toward us were kind enough to do the same.

I grabbed the camera and headed into the yard to capture a winter made more beautiful by the safety of the yard.

I prayed as I took pictures, because I knew somewhere out there, people were wrecking cars and finding the hard part of first snows, even as I was overwhelmed by the powdery beauty of the same snow.

The snow was lovely but so thick and wet...I had to let my coat and hat dry out when I came inside, and I had to dry off my camera with a towel.

I heard from some of you {east and west coasters, I'm looking at you!!!} who didn't get snow, so I wanted to share some of ours in pictures.

I have to say...it's so much more fun to enjoy snow when you're not driving in it. Here's to a winter of not commuting!

Linking up!

The Shafferland Shuffle

* We were in charge of breakfast for Sunday School last week, so I did a Pinterest experiment of a coffee and donut trifle. I will not lie. It was quite delectable. I will make it again. Just for myself. {Kidding.} {Kind of.} Anyway, we watched some football that afternoon, attempted a family photo {which did not go well} and enjoyed another stunning day outside; we are so spoiled by this warm late fall weather!

* Monday morning, I hunkered down to write again; I needed to add a chapter to the manuscript I just finished. I worked hard until I got it done - in draft form, anyway, and then I moved to being a wife and working some around the house. I tried to fluff the ferns we brought in from the yard...trying to keep them ALIVE through the winter. The mums? They aren't faring quite as well. The frosts have been unkind to them.

 * Tuesday was a busy day! Ryan had a dentist appointment that morning and sent me this cute picture - and a glowing report. {Sigh. Happy for and jealous of him.} I spent the day learning audio software...it was like being back in school! That evening, we had the opportunity to go watch our niece in her dance class. We have never seen her dance before, so this was a special treat! She did a great job, and all the little dancers were so cute in their line!!

 * Wednesday was gray and rainy - the kind that chills you to the bone. I went to lunch with my friend Jenny and came home with teeth chattering! But when sunset time came, there was a hint of sun that reflected off the trees in the most beautiful way!! We went to the gym that night, and I tried out the new exercise bikes. Pretty fancy! We decided to use our wedding mugs for our evening coffee, but Ryan poured creamer in the wrong one and had to drink out of my mug all night. LOL!

* Thursday I went to visit my friend Julie, and when I arrived, her son had arranged a massive game of Memory for us to play. {Two boxes mixed together.} This is so beyond my short term comprehension level, but we had a blast playing - and catching up all day. Ryan, meanwhile, was at work, being silly to make his patients laugh. He really is the best. If I had to have therapy, I'd pick him. That night - I spent some time filling up pages in my journal. It had been too long and my brain was FULL.

 * Friday morning, Ryan sent me this picture of the sunrise...gorgeous!!! I went to Kokomo that afternoon to meet up with him for our date night, and while I was at his office, I gave him one of his anniversary presents early. He said it was the best gift he'd ever gotten. And yes. That is a rhino head. Obviously there will be more on this story later. We went window shopping around town and ate giant salads at Ruby Tuesday. They have such good salads!

* Yesterday I got to see a couple of my WBCL friends! I had lunch with Amy and Cindy - and while we ate, the first snowfall of the season hit - like CRAZY. We were just supposed to get flurries and ended up with somewhere between 3-4 inches. We had slushy driving ,but man was it ever beautiful!! I had a great time taking pictures, and when Ryan got home from work, we just enjoyed watching the snow fall. {This stuff is so much easier to like when I'm not commuting!}

The Saturday Six

One.

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Found a great new capsule-y post for the fall season! I found Audrey on Pinterest and have enjoyed reading her posts about making great clothing choices. I like her mix and match options on this post!

Two.

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Last week, I sent a group of test readers a manuscript I'd written...a "book baby" to read. Scared me out of my mind. I think I screamed every time I hit send. So oh yes, I completely understand the utter emotion Jill-Lynn Buteyn describes in this post. {By the way - if you haven't yet seen her book baby Just Show Up, you're missing a powerful and helpful book.}

Three.

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You know what? Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all. Whether it is true or not, this just made me giggle.

Four.

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I have not experienced the loss of a child, but I have experienced deep loss. And I think this article holds good reminders heading into Thanksgiving and Christmas. The coexistence of blessings and bereavement is delicate.

Five.

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Speaking of holidays...if you're looking for some healthy {yet still tasty!} recipes for Thanksgiving this week, check out this recipe roundup by one of my favorites, Katie Farrell from Dashing Dish. Delicious looking dishes, I promise!

Six.

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Earlier this year, I read Marie Monville's memoir, One Light Still Shines, and I've mentioned it here several times on the blog. Marie's husband, Charlie, was the shooter  at the Amish Schoolhouse in Pennsylvania back in 2006. Marie's book was an unforgettable read, so when I saw a few weeks ago that Charlie's mom, Terri Roberts, also just released a book related to the event, I hoped I would be fortunate enough to get a copy to review. And I was!

Terri's book is called Forgiven, and it's quite a bit different in voice and in story, even, from Marie's book. That surprised me, because I figured when two people told the same sort of story, the details would be remarkably similar. While the story is certainly recognizable between the two, the similarities end there. Marie's book was much more about the event itself, her inner processing as a widow and how she moved forward with her life, mothering the children she and Charlie shared, and then even her redemption love story with her now-husband, Dan Monville. {POWERFUL.}

Terri's book, Forgiven, is unmistakably the story of a grieving mother who still lives without knowledge of why her son would choose such an unspeakable act. In this book, we learn more of Charlie's background, his upbringing, his joys and sorrows while he lived at home with his parents. And while she touches on "The Happening" {the name the Amish have given to the shooting}, she doesn't spend as much time recounting that particular day and week, but she moves on to how her life has changed because of The Happening.

She gives a voice to many of the Amish families affected in the shooting and shares about her interactions with them after The Happening. Her relationship with these families has actually grown to a deep level. She sees them often. She visits them. She helps them. She, in many ways, sees them as an extension of her family now. Her writing lets us see right inside the homes of these forever-changed families and lets us see forgiveness and grace in action.

Terri also brings up a really important point throughout the book, as she shows how storms she weathered earlier in her life {miscarriage, cancer, etc.} began to shape her faith in ways that came back to strengthen her in this storm of all storms. I think it's so important for believers to recognize how each piece of the journey fits into the large puzzle of life, and Terri pulls that practice into the spotlight in that book.

While she is not a counselor, she shares so many pieces of wisdom that could be helpful and insightful for anyone struggling through the loss of a child, especially one that was unexpected and surrounded by unanswered questions. She speaks as a mom...a grieving mom, a faith-filled mom, a searching mom, a hopeful mom.

I appreciated her vulnerability, her truth, and her heart within these pages. Though I know this story is never one she would have chosen to bear, she carries the weight of it in ways that point to the Lord and His grace, as shown through the compassion and love of the Amish community.

* Thanks, Bethany House, for making a way for Terri to share her viewpoint in this piece of history, and for sending a copy my way for review. *

Snickerdoodle Brownies

I love snickerdoodles. Who are we kidding? I LOVE DESSERT!! But I really do love snickerdoodles. The chewy, sugary delights make me so very happy. But sometimes I just do not have the patience to make them. It's that whole extra step of rolling the cookies in the cinnamon and sugar that gets me, because it just delays the baking process that much longer.

Yes. I know that is pathetic.

But I found these little gems here and tried them...and loved them! All the chewy delight of snickerdoodles, but with the ease of a brownie. Oh. Yes. Please. I love it that I almost always have everything on hand to make these, they go together quickly, and of course, they are delicious.

I changed the original recipe just a bit to try to make it more healthy, and by that, I mean I did more than just sprinkle less sugar on top! {Although that too...}

Snickerdoodle Brownies

* 2 2/3 cups flour
* 2 teaspoons baking powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2 cups brown sugar
* 1/2 cup butter, softened
* 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
* 2 eggs
* 1 Tablespoon vanilla
* 2 Tablespoons white sugar
* 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

In a small bowl, mix together flour, baking powder, salt, and brown sugar, and set aside. In a mixing bowl, combine butter, applesauce, eggs, and vanilla until well-combined. Add in dry ingredients a little at a time until fully combined. Batter will be very thick. Pour in a greased 9x13 baking dish. Combine white sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over batter. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes or until toothpick in the middle comes out clean. Cut and enjoy!

A Few Tips
 
* I use wheat flour, so my brownies are a little bit darker than yours will be if you use regular white flour. I've made these using both and they taste the smae to me.

* If you don't have unsweetened applesauce or you don't want to use it, you can substitute another 1/2 cup of butter in. I just wanted to cut out using a whole cup of butter, so I swapped the 1/2 cup of applesauce for it. I buy the little individual cup servings of applesauce and keep them on hand for substitutions. {I can't stand eating straight applesauce. Texture thing.}

* We have a little shaker that we keep a cinnnamon sugar in, so I just used that to sprinkle some on top. It was considerably less than the full amount of white sugar and cinnamon called for in the recipe, so that made me feel better, too. :)

* If you under-bake it just a little, it will be nice and gooey.

* We warmed up our leftover servings and possibly added a little whipped cream. Just for kicks. :)

SOMETHING TO READ!!!!

Maria emailed me last week and asked if I would put together a post that compiled book suggestion in one place. She said as I offer reviews and other book suggestions throughout the year, sometimes she thinks oh, that would make a nice gift, come Christmas...and now Christmas is coming and she has forgotten what books she particularly liked out of the bunch of them.

Sooooo, if you're working on your Christmas shopping list, and you need some suggestions, allow me to offer you a list of ideas. Some of are books I've reviewed, so in those cases, I will link back the post that contains my review, so you can see it again if you want. Others are books I might not have written about, but I'll include a quick idea of who the book might fit. Happy shopping and happy reading!

For Single Friends
* The Dating Manifesto by Lisa Anderson. {This is geared a bit more toward singles in their 20's but is also a great read for parents of teens or college students - or anyone who works with that age group.}
* Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. {This is not a new book, but it's a classic. I received it in high school and STILL refer to it for quotes. It's a wonderful, timeless book on balancing a life of passion and purity. PS - there are updated editions with added material by Josh Harris. I am confident anything he added would be good, because I respect his viewpoint, but the link here reflects the copy I have and read.}
* When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton is Empty by Jackie M. Johnson. {Haven't blogged about it before, but this book was especially helpful to me after my breakup with Isaac. Very helpful insights about grieving and starting over.}

Memoir
* Wild in the Hollow by Amber C. Haines. {A raw and vulnerable book with a very lyrical feel to it.}
* In the Footsteps of Jesus by Bruce Marchiano. {A compelling and faith-changing look back at Bruce's journey of portraying Jesus in the film "The Gospel According to Matthew."}
* One Light Still Shines by Marie Monville. {Marie's husband was the the man who entered an Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania several years ago and killed several girls. This book is the story of his family and how God redeemed their brokenness.
* Nobody's Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle. {A funny memoir on friendship. Melanie also wrote a memoir on motherhood called Sparkly Green Earrings and one on marriage called Antelope in the Living Room.}
* The Road to Becoming by Jenny Simmons. {A truly dynamic read on how to learn and grow in moments of muddling through.}


Inspirational Reading
* Let's All Be Brave by Annie F. Downs. {I did not write a review on this book but interviewed Annie about it when I worked at WBCL. The interview has been removed from the internet - sadness!!! - but the book has tremendous insights on bravery, which shows up in places you might not expect!}
* Girl Meets Change by Kristen Strong. {FABULOUS read on learning from and embracing changes in your life - perfect for ANYONE going through any kind of change. I served on the book launch team for this one and remain ridiculously proud of Kristen for her words and her vulnerability in sharing!}
* The Hardest Peace by Kara Tippetts. {You know how I loved the words of Kara Tippetts and this book was so motivational and so honest - about learning to allow Jesus to meet you in your hard.}
* Just Show Up by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn. {A book published after Kara went to Heaven - but a powerful and practical guide on walking alongside those in difficult seasons.}

Spiritual Growth
* Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George. {A powerful book on learning to bring your thoughts into line with God's thoughts so you can love Him more fully.}
* Your Sacred Yes by Susie Larson. {I cannot possibly say enough about how much I love this book and how much every over-committed person should read it.}
*Just Give Me Jesus by Anne Graham Lotz. {I read this book years ago when our Sunday School class studied it, and it absolutely revolutionized the way I read Scripture and thought about Jesus.

Fiction
* Last Chance Hero by Cathleen Armstong. {Contemporary fiction, the fourth in a series, about a tiny New Mexico town named Last Chance. Loved it so much I plan to get the whole series.}
* Five Brides by Eva Marie Everson. {Set back in the fifties, this book tells the stories about five young women making their lives in the heart of Chicago, and the wedding dress they pool their money to purchase.
* Murder at the Courthouse by A.H. Gabhart. {Murder mystery meets Mayberry Jr. It's got all the charm of a small town with a good batch of suspense. I can't wait for the next book in the series!}
* Hope Harbor by Irene Hannon. {Another small town delight...an easy read but characters that are so lovable!}
* Vendetta by Lisa Harris. {A good action book that lovers of TV crime shows would enjoy - and it has a faith base...BONUS!}

Kids' Books
* The Gingerbrood by Brent Vernon. {The adventures of a batch of freshly baked gingerbread cookies who escape Mrs. Claus's kitchen.}
* The Audrey Amaka Books by Brent Vernon. {A children's trilogy about Audrey Amaka, the neckless giraffe, and her adventures.}

**** Gotta brag on my friend Brent, who wrote the books in my recommended kids' reading. I don't have kids, so I don't know much about children's books, but I know that his are fabulous and fun. He writes AND illustrates them himself, and I can't recommend them ENOUGH.

Living Too Big?

Last Saturday, in the Six, I referenced an article about a study done on a Norwegian community whose residents show a remarkably positive outlook on life even in the months that are remarkably dark and cold, thanks to its extreme northern location. I told you I had some thoughts marinating, and today...I share the thoughts.

Back when I still worked at WBCL, God and I had a number of conversations about the future. About staying vs. leaving. About the motivation behind either decision. And I sensed at that time that God was impressing on me something about learning to live smaller. I didn't really know what that meant, but it was an impression I had, so I nodded and quit my job.

Radio is a big deal. It reaches farther than you know and touches lives you never see with your eyes. The station {the building, I mean} might have been small, but the job was big. People ask me often if I miss it. I miss my work family. I miss the fun of being on air with them. But I don't miss the bigness. I don't miss the big commute and the big schedule. Being home has brought the exact calmness to our lives that I imagined it would.

Ryan even mentioned the other day that he likes having me home more than he thought he would. Not that he didn't want me to make the change, but it has affected him more than he thought it would - and those changes have been good for him. This accepting of smallness has allowed us to rest more. Sleep in longer in the morning, have more free time in the evenings, have more weekends...and he likes it. And so do I.

God took smallness to the next step and urged me to work on simplifying our home. That's why for the first month or so after I left full-time work, I spent all day many days just combing through the house, weeding out, paring down, having a sale. Less is more.

Even my adventures with the capsule wardrobe have helped me understand the benefits of less. Of not buying things just because they're cheap, but only committing to them if I love them and they fit in the parameters of what I truly need.

Less. Small. Breathing space.

So. Back to the article. In the article, they talked about how the residents made the winter months cozy, but they went on to say that didn't mean they became hermits. "Leibowitz reports that Tromsø had plenty of festivals and community activities creating the sense that everyone was in it together." {Source} My first thought, when I read that, was "Well that would be hard to do here, because to plan such things, you would have to travel and winter is too unpredictable."

Then I realized that I really probably don't have a clue about real inclement weather in comparison with a place so far north, it goes several months without seeing sunlight. So what's the difference? I think the difference is that their community is...their actual community.

You can get out and visit your friends when they all live right by you. Even if it's a million below zero. I think the difference is that for us, our community is spread over a four hour radius. Seeing friends means you might need a whole weekend because you might have to drive 3-4 hours just to get there...then you spend your quality time...then you have 3-4 hours ahead to get back home.

It reminded me, actually, of what Lisa Anderson talked about in her book, The Dating Manifesto, which I reviewed a while back. She said, "A couple of centuries ago, you  married the girl who lived down the dirt road from you. You'd grown up together. Her family farmed too. You were about the same age and, her freckles notwithstanding, she seemed like a nice girl."

Then Lisa went on to say, "Today's myriad of choices makes it harder for us to focus. Because we're not forced to look in one place, we end up looking everywhere. And we get distracted, frustrated, even paralyzed by the options before us." {Source: The Dating Manifesto by Lisa Anderson, page 138}

We're just too big. We date too big and can't find anyone  to marry because we're looking at everyone. We're friending too big and finding ourselves exhausted from the sheer need to keep EVERYONE we've EVER known in our closest friend circle.

The internet is a beautiful thing. It allows us to have access to the lives and thoughts of people who live far, far away. It allows us to be in touch in ways people two hundred years ago {or twenty years ago} could not. But we're wearing ourselves out. We live in a warmer climate than the Norwegians in the study, but we don't live in a warmer circle. I think we could learn a thing or two from them. They make up for the lack of warmth by living warmly in smallness.

I bet they borrow eggs from neighbors and know the name of every person on their block.

What would that kind of life look like?

Jury Duty

My dad has always wanted to serve on a jury. The government/history teacher in him made him crave the chance to serve. I think he's the only human being I've ever heard about who wanted to serve that badly. {Except Pauly Shore in the movie - but that was only because he needed the free housing.}

So a couple of weeks ago, Ryan got the paper in the mail about how his name was in the pot for the upcoming months. You know the paper. The one that lets you say what dates don't work for you and that kind of stuff. THE NEXT DAY he received his notification that he was up for selection.

Thanks a lot for the swell lead time with that first notice!

So he called a week ago Friday night after the appointed hour stated on the paper and found out he had to report.

I know jury duty is never convenient for anyone. That's kind of the nature of the thing. But it didn't stop me from being a little agitated that he had to get up Monday morning and commute to work for three hours and then commute back this way to report for jury duty. But he did. Showed up in his scrubs and began the long afternoon of phone-silence.

Ryan's work isn't conducive for regular contact throughout the day. When he's with patients, he has to be WITH PATIENTS, and I get that. I want him to be focused and the patients to be safe. But at least he can text me a "hey I miss you!" on restroom breaks and such. Not so with the world of the courthouse. I couldn't breathe for him that he couldn't take his phone in. And about 8 million times throughout the day, I thought of something to tell him...and I remembered he couldn't read it.

Ryan's brother, who is a police officer, had "jokingly" warned me that depending on the nature of the case, he could be sequestered to a hotel and not be able to speak to me AT ALL until the case was over.

I really don't need to pause here to tell you my thoughts on forced separation, do I? But Rod instilled the fear in me and I jumped to the ceiling when my phone rang Monday night and it was an unknown number that I assumed represented some approved phone in the courthouse.

I skipped "hello" entirely and said "Please tell me you don't have to go live at a hotel." Ryan laughed and said no, he could come home every night, but the trial would last a week.

NO.

He said they weren't quite done for the night, so I decided to run to the grocery store to kill the extra time apart. An hour an a half later, Ryan found me, socializing in the aisles. Pitiful, isn't it? I was still so sad about the upcoming week, but actually, he was pretty excited about the whole thing. He said he was looking forward to it.

You guys, it was the longest week ever. In happy news, it was lovely to have him "working" in town. We got to sleep in every morning, later than we ever do. He came home for lunch every day, and that was fun. The time between his call to say he was on his way home and actually BEING home was practically nothing. Loved all those things about it.


What I didn't love? The secrecy. We don't do secrets in our house. I don't even like keeping birthday gifts a secret from him. So to have him spend all day doing something that was really important and then to have him come home and say NOTHING - well, that didn't work for me.

Didn't love the lack of contact either. It makes me panic to not have access to him if I need something. {Like the day the judge held them over 45 minutes for lunch and I was home panicking that the defendant shot him as he left the courtroom. Seriously. I have to stop watching the crime shows.} I think I called five times and sent three texts in fifteen minutes that day.

But I persevered. I did a lot of cooking and baking:

And Thursday night, since he assumed jury duty was going to kill our previously scheduled Friday night date, he took me out ti Starbucks, which was so lovely.

It was good we did that, because Friday was the longest day OF OUR LIVES. Braeya and I were so over it by about 7 p.m. but we needed to buck up because we would not see the most handsome man on the planet until 11:30. That's p.m. As in right before midnight.

It is POSSIBLE that I drove TO the courthouse at 10:00 just to make sure there were still people there and that he hadn't gotten assaulted on his way to his car. {Not sure what I thought I was going to do if he had, but whatever.} And while I was out, I went ahead and got dinner, since I gathered by that time, we weren't going to get a pizza.

I decided that as the week progressed, I just looked older and more tired and bedraggled, so I was ridiculously grateful to have this journey behind us and to be back to whatever comprises our normal. 

So we survived jury duty. I was really proud of Ryan for how seriously he took his commitment, for the level of time and prayer he put into thinking through the evidence and offering a fair verdict, and for being a way better sport about it than I was.

And now I'm once again enjoying a life of being able to hear from him randomly, to not have secrets, and to get my socializing from him and not from roaming the grocery store aisles. LOL!