...the fact that I spent my Friday night meticulously tending to my yard...receiving mosquito bites in the oddest of places...and doing my own pedicure (because it's cheaper) makes this even better.
While said pedicure "sets," I'm watching Conan take pot-shots at celebrities and reading
this blog entry sent to me by my good friend, Rachel. She and I understand these things. I'm not going to post the whole blog here, because obviously you can go read it yourself, but I am picking my favorites for further commentary.
The entry (in case you haven't looked yet) covers "the different stereotypes and challenges singles have to navigate when they go to church." I don't post this out of bitterness. Being single at 31 isn't where I thought I'd be when I made my own life plan at age four. But it's not so bad. I post this
simply because I've been on the receiving end of some of these comments and some are...unpleasant. Some are
stinkin' funny. But most of them just
get old.
#5.
Someone pays you the world's most backhanded compliment: I just don't understand how someone as great as you isn't married yet. Well....clearly I'm either not that great after all, or it's just one of life's great mysteries. And thanks for reminding me I'm single. I'd forgotten.
#6.
Someone told you, "If you stop looking for love, you'll find it." In this case, I will never find love. I adore stories and I do not want to miss one second of my love story. So no, I won't quit looking for it, because when I find it, I want to know when that moment happened. I will journal it and treasure it.
#10. Your friends that have been married for 15 minutes act like they suddenly don't remember anything about dating and therefore can't give you any advice. "It's been so long since I dated; things have changed so much. I'm just out of that whole scene." I think my experience has been more that a friend who has been married for 15 minutes says to me "I'm just so glad I'm done dating. That was such a hard time in life."
Mmmm thanks. I'll send you a postcard when I arrive to let you know how I feel about it.
#11. People are constantly volunteering you for things, because "you're single...you've got so much free time." I would like to contend that those who are single are twice as busy because they have no one with whom to divide the chores. When you're married (hypothetically speaking of course) there are more options for things like...who will mow the lawn...who will do the laundry...who will clean the house...who will grocery shop...who will service the car...who will pay the bills. When you're single - you win by default!
#15. Whenever married friends call you at noon on a Saturday, they start the conversation by saying, "Did I just wake you up?" You better believe you did! This is the one thing I love the MOST about being single and childless. Saturday mornings? If I choose to sleep til noon, I can.
#16. You assume that if you don't get married by final exams of your senior year in college, you'll never get married. Oh you mean that isn't true?
#17. You've secretly always wanted your own cat but are afraid that ownership of a single kitten will become some sort of gateway drug to becoming "the cat lady." Truly, truly, truly the reason I stopped at 2 cats. I got
Braeya to give
Kaegan someone to play with...but after that I told everyone that if I got a 3rd cat, I would officially be the crazy cat lady.
#23. Your married friends tiptoe around you during February because they think you're too delicate to handle the made-up holiday, Valentine's Day. I actually LOVE Valentine's Day. I love the excuse to tell people how much they mean to me...and I have been sorely disappointed by my married friends who meet my offerings with a shrug and "It's no big deal. It's just a day." HEY! Let me believe a holiday of love could be a good thing someday.
#30. Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that until you get married too you can't be close again because you just don't understand each other anymore. OH MY WORD. Actually I need to first say that my best friend has not changed ONE BIT since she got married. And I love hanging out with her and her husband...and I don't feel like the third wheel. It is so refreshing. But in relation to this comment, I would like to say that the gap hit big time when kids began appearing in my friends' homes. It has been probably the single hardest transition in my friendships.
#36. You've ever said the rhyme, "I'm a bachelor 'til the rapture." I haven't said this, actually, because I'd never heard it. But it cracks me up!
#39. You've developed a highly sensitive, "They're about to throw the bouquet" radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding." There will be NO bouquet toss at my wedding. I hate it, hate it, hate it, and what I hate even worse is when I hide from it and the entire toss is put on hold until the crowd has been carefully combed to extract all single hiding girls to force them into the front.
Okay I'm done now. :)