Sunday, January 21, 2007

It’s been a thankful sort of week for me. Friday, I posted a blog about how thankful I am for all the things my parents taught me…a surge of thankfulness brought on after I watched George O’Malley say goodbye to his father Thursday night on Grey’s Anatomy.

But even before that reminder hit, I had a thankful sort of week. Good things happened – and I even found a few hiding in the hard parts.

* I eagerly climbed on the scales (don’t ever look for that phrase again) Monday morning to see how much I’d lost – and the number remained firm from the Monday before. I started to get mad and head to the kitchen for a cookie, but I reminded myself that it’s not all about the pounds. As the week went on, I found myself not sucking in quite so hard to button my clothes. So even though the pink Princess scales may be firmly fixed, I think things are changing – and that is good news.

* My visit to the dentist was uneventful – which never happens in Bekahland. I got a gentle hygienist, the Today Show was running an hour-long special on the highs and lows of the Golden Globes, and I have no cavities. AND I weaseled my way out of the fluoride treatment and a lecture on flossing. That might possibly be my best visit to date!

* Tuesday’s visit to the prayer chapel during lunch turned out to be a great time. I went in expecting God to say something, and He sure did! I even got goose bumps! I know you can’t base everything on goose bumps, but it sure is nice when they show up every now and then.

* Wednesday, when I felt like the day was a total loss, I found a card in my mailbox…just a note from a friend thanking me for being me. And the words on the card, written by Luci Swindoll, said, “Vision is when you see it and others don’t. Faith is when you do it and others won’t.” What a great reminder to keep on the road of faith!

* Friday, everyone in our office got a free coffee. And by that, I mean free coffee drink of our choice. For me, naturally, it meant a big fluffy drink – sugar free, of course. Remember item one on the list? Anyway, what is it about being offered a free coffee that can suddenly make you feel like the employee of the month? Such a little thing – but so big.

* Yesterday I had a great day of fun scrapbooking with a bunch of scrapaholics. I didn’t turn out pages as fast as I usually do…but I had a wonderful time just enjoying the process. Thinking up designs. Sharing ideas. Trying something different. As I drove to the church where the crop was held, I was talking to Mom on the phone, and she asked if I had any friends going with me. I said no, and then I backed up and said, “Well, except the ones I met through scrapping at that church.” And I realized that is a blessing in itself! These are people I never see outside of scrap days, but they are still friends. And that’s a good thing.

* My elliptical machine is assembled, functional, and killing me. I’m thankful for the extra working-out option, and I’m thankful for friends who were willing to assemble it for me. Furthermore, I’m thankful they were willing to accept a home cooked dinner as payment. (Even more thankful that it was a successful dinner and two new keeper recipes were found!)

* Probably most of all, I’m thankful for the blessing of things not always working out the way I ask God for them to happen. He’s reminded me in a very specific way this week of just where I’d be if He’d said yes to something I wanted. It’s hard to find thankfulness in a no at the moment you hear the no. It’s much easier to see the point of it years down the road. But it’s this new thing I’m learning. I’m trying to be thankful for the no at the moment…not because I understand why it’s happening, but rather because I know there is a reason, and whether or not I ever know what it is, it’s a good one. Because the One making the decisions is completely trustworthy.

Gratefulness

I will admit it. I cried all the way through Grey's Anatomy last night. Part of it was relief that I had an excuse to cry after a particularly soul-confusing day. Part of it was great acting by the cast. And part of it was the reminder of reality. Watching George (whom I love) say goodbye to his dad way before he should have had to do so...well it reminded me that I don't know when my own turn will come.

In those moments, I realize how really grateful for my parents I am. I pick on them. I roll my eyes. I shake my head. I pick fights every now and then. That's what kids do. As I used to tell them, "Should have thought about that before you had me." But for all my picking and eye rolling and argument starting, I love them and don't like to think about the day when I can't pick on them anymore.

This morning, as I listened to Money Matters on the radio, I heard the hosts talking about teaching kids about money. And I remember the day when I was about six and Mom sat me down in the living room and started me on a one dollar a week allowance, all paid in dimes. She taught me to make envelopes (yay! a craft project!) for tithe...and savings...and spending...and vacation...and Christmas. She taught me to divide up my dimes and manage my money all year long. Because she did that, she taught me a great skill that I still use today. (Thankfully work doesn't pay me in dimes.) I've learned that a lot of people my own age are skilled at credit card use, but not at budgeting. I'm grateful she taught me that.

I'm grateful that Dad told me Bible stories every night before I went to bed and that he let me take quizzes (when I was in kindergarten) alongside his high school Bible History students - and I beat some of them. I'm grateful they both taught me to go to church unless I was puking, no matter if I felt like going. I'm grateful they stuck to their convictions even when their choices were unpopular and no one understood them. My convictions are sometimes different from theirs, but at least I know how to stick to my passions.

They taught me to go to work - to be early and stay late. They taught me to treat my possessions well and to love the underdog. They fostered my love of reading and writing and respsected my wish (eventually) to quit playing the piano. They sacrificed so I could go to a college I couldn't afford and even let me take Lloyd (the really old car) when I moved on campus.

Dad loves his grandcats and Mom tolerates them. They have let me grow up and be me. And for all of this - I'm grateful.

Golden Girl vs. Golden Tickets

Well...I watched all four hours of the American Idol auditions and have decided, hands down, that my first pick of the season for WHAT?!?! is definitely the golden girl from Seattle. I even watched her audition twice tonight. I watched it when it aired, and then I played it back at the end for Jessica and Sharon, who showed up just after she sang - or whatever.

And I still have no words. The hair...the shirt...the tennis shoes...the song...I have no words. The worst part is now that song is going to be stuck in my head all night. I do have to say, though, in her defense, that she exited gracefully. I much prefer her composed and dignified departure to the guy from Minneapolis whose farewell speech was more bleeped than not. So for that - good job, Golden Girl.

As for my favorites after week one...well...if only I could remember their names. I'm terrible with names. The competition will probably be to the final three before I know who is who. But by description, I really liked the girl from Minneapolis who had the rough life story. I thought she had a great attitude, she was confident but not ridiculous, and I liked her voice. I also liked the guy from the USS Reagan...for a variety of reasons. :) Tonight my picks were the girl with the brown curly hair whose Dad played in the NFL. I just liked her. I also liked the really really tall girl - because she was sassy. Simon needs some sass up against him every now and then.

So those are my picks for week one. Christina? Phats? Closet fans? Thoughts?

Christina Tagged Me

I never even PLAYED tag when I was little (chubby girls don't run well) but I sure am the tag favorite on blogger! :) It's okay - it's kind of fun. This one is different from the one Phats hit me with before Christmas.

1). What's the most fun work you've ever done, and why? (two sentences max) – Though not a lucrative career, my most fun work was when I used to do child care for the pastors’ camp when I was part of the Quaker church. The denomination held a four day camp for pastors and families at the campgrounds, so I worked mornings and evenings – playing with babies – and then got free housing, free food (GOOD food) and my whole afternoon to play at the beach – AND I got paid!

2A.) Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did. (one sentence max – I used to be fairly good at sign language, and I miss it now that I’ve stopped practicing regularly.

B.) Name one thing you've always wanted to do but keep putting off. (one sentence max) – I have been putting off the attempt of publishing a book…but it’s one of my 25 commitments/covenants this year, so I at least have to try!

3A.) What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (two sentences max) – Well, I’d like to be better at driving…I hate city driving and winter driving because I’ve never had that much experience at it and I’m just too old to pull a whiny excuse about it now. I also wish I were better at yard stuff…now that I have a house of my own, I need to make it look put together from the outside too.

B.) If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and what would you hope to learn? (two more sentences, max) – I would love to study under Beth Moore, both to absorb some of her hunger for the Bible and to learn how to write and relate like she does.

4) A. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you? – OCD (hopefully in a good way), hospitable, dependable

B. List two words you wish described you – spontaneous, adventuresome

5) What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes-- three sentences max) – I’m working on developing my relationship with God, trying to discern my next steps on this faith walk He has me on, and growing as a writer.

So there you have it!! If I were going to tag someone else, I'd pick Amy R. and Kristin - and call this five weeks' worth of LBS "question of the night."

A Brand New Season

I try to keep my blog relatively free of commentary regarding my television shows...except when they lead to trips to Paris. It's not that I find it offensive when people discuss their shows...it's just that I quite frankly never think of it.

But tomorrow night...in less than twenty-four hours now...a brand new season of Idol begins. Oh boy - I just lost a couple of you on that one, didn't I? You thought I had some sense to me and now I've admitted I'm just a shallow member of the reality TV world? Technically not true. Idol is my only reality show. I even gave up on the Bachelor after the ridiculousness of one season made me mad. (Couldn't even tell you now which season it was.)

I missed the first season of Idol entirely and only happened upon the hilarious auditions of season two during a channel surf. I stopped surfing and found myself hooked. I was a Clay fan to the bitter end, and though I said I didn't care who won between Mr. Aiken and Mr. Studdard, I lied. I wanted Clay to win.

Here's the thing about the show...I get so stinking opinionated!! There's always the one singer that lasts about eleven rounds too long and the one that is eliminated without warning and certainly without fairness, and the one person that no one else agrees with me about, but I know I'm right anyway. And I take it all as personally as I possibly can. So anyway - I'll try not to drone on and on about it as the weeks pass, but if I get caught up, I might not be able to control that very well.

At any rate, I love the first night every season - I love laughing at the bizarre display of lack of talent. In fact, in my scrapbook from last year's Idol kickoff party (yes, I watch with friends), there is a picture of me face down on the floor trying not to spit out my coffee while a girl tried to go up the down escalator in heels and a dress. Hey, it was a good moment for scrapbook history, if nothing else.

So with all that said, please, my blogging friends, do not abandon me now. It could be a very good season.

Keyboards and Pink Fuzzy Sweaters

It is so GOOD to be blogging from my very own uncomfortable wooden folding chair. After fourteen days of internetlessness (like that word?) at home, my hard drive is feeling better and my faulty keyboard has been found out and discarded. Thank you, Jim, for letting me borrow yours until I can get a replacement! I told my Mom I feel like a smoker who was just handed a pack. Not my finest analogy, but amazingly enough, she laughed.

So now that I'm back in the game, I thought I'd post a couple of pictures...you know...because I can. Here you will see the new pink sweater that caused all the fuzzies (post somewhere below) at work this week. I didn't wear the scarf at work, but I do love it. Very sassy.

And the other picture is just another random Christmas one. Those are my parents...and in the background, the tree that Braeya knocked over. (Obviously picked back up before Christmas Day.)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

At 7:00 this morning I returned home from Paris, France. Thank you so much, Mom and Dad, for taking me.

Hello? Mom? Dad? Do you remember any of this? Okay so maybe it was a dream. Yes, I had one of “those dreams” last night. Mom and Dad took Sarah (one of the girls in my office) and me to Paris for a vacation. Paris was located somewhere in the Dakotas – and had a very tropical oceanic view. We stayed in a very prestigious resort located in an old, condemned cement building with occasional working plumbing. And our trip home was delayed by a plane crash. All flights were grounded until the FAA could determine what caused the crash.

Interestingly enough, Mom and Dad mostly ditched me (Sarah too!) during the vacation – which left me to forage for dinner alone in little bistros along the tempestuous ocean front. During one such lonely dinner, I looked up to find a family across the way – a family I knew. The husband distracted his wife somehow and sneaked over to me. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I just want you to know that I know.” I gave him my best quizzical look and he said to me, “I know that you liked me for a long time. It’s okay and I’m truly flattered – it’s just not going to work out.” I was trying to pull my hair down over my red face while I asked him who spilled the beans. He told me – and it was a friend I really thought I could trust!

The frightening part of this entire situation is that this family actually exists – I did at one time have an annoying crush on the guy – and the girl who did NOT guard my secret is really my friend. And the next time I see either of them, I’ll probably do some serious blushing.

How do these things happen? I’m not one to try to figure out dreams…but this one was so bizarre that I had to try to decipher just a little of it. I watched about ten minutes of Under the Tuscan Sun yesterday while I was waiting on some friends to show up for dinner. One of two scenes that I saw took place on a dock of some sort where water was crashing up against the shore. I suppose that is where the idea of an overseas vacation and the ocean view came in. A few weeks ago I watched a scary documentary on a plane that crashed years ago – and the cause was never determined. And last week I watched an episode of Dirty Jobs – and the scruffy guy was helping an exterminator clean out an arena infested with rats… part of the Katrina aftermath. I’m not really sure how the rest came to be…but thank goodness it was really a dream!

Funny, though, how those pesky dreams play with the mind. I told you that God has asked me to walk this mysterious road of faith. I know enough details to walk, but not enough to really see the next destination on the journey. Last night before I went to bed, I was journaling about how frustrated I had become on this walk. I knew when the new year started and the journey simultaneously grew more intense, Satan was going to worm his way in somehow and try to derail me.

In my OCD way, I even tried to figure out exactly how he might go about that so I could be prepared. And I should have known where he’d sneak in…probably I did know. I just didn’t try very hard to fight it. And so there I sat last night, frustrated that what I really wanted was over here to the left, but what I knew I should want was clearly to the right. And there’s no reason not to want what is on the right…except that the left is easier and closer.

And then I woke up after my trip to Paris and even more confusion swarmed around in my little pre-ten-o’clock brain. I pulled out the journal and started writing again – why, why, why do things like dreams even pull my mind aside from the track it should be on?

In our ladies’ Bible study, we’ve been learning about choices…and it seems like no matter the specific topic each week…it all comes back to a choice that ultimately rests in our hands. God reminded me of that this morning. I could let myself be sidetracked by purposeful thoughts and by dreams that I can’t control, or I can choose to stay faithful even when it’s hard.

God was even so nice as to follow up that discussion with an entire church service about surrender. I sat on the end of the pew realizing that He very much expected me to make a choice before I left. I could continue to be sidetracked, or I could hand over the thoughts and the dreams and choose to keep walking the faith walk.

So God gets the Paris guy – and all the rest of the sidetracking thoughts. I get to keep walking one step at a time.

Out With the Old...In With the Old

I seem to attract friends who inadvertently call me old. One of my really good friends is ten years younger than I am; we meet every week for mentoring and accountability. It is not uncommon for some sweet and innocent comment to slip out of her mouth that insinuates I'm just shy of a hundred and four. I love watching her face turn red after she realizes what she said. It makes me laugh. Well, now she has company in her boat. Someone else slipped a comment out and once he caught the "I can't believe you just said that" look on my face, it has become his mission in life to try to work in as many related comments as possible.

Which reminds me...I have a card in my office (which I would scan in for you, but you know...computer's still sick) of a very very old, very very wrinkled lady in a wedding dress. She's puckered from every angle. You open up the card and the message says "Never give up." Harsh enough, but do you know who sent it to me?? MY MOTHER!!! Just when you think SOMEONE is in your corner...

So I showed that card to "you're old" friend number two yesterday. Even he thought it was harsh. :)

But despite my knee and heel and back agreeing with all such comments (thank you, exercise), I have to say that these new year changes I've made have really made me feel like a brand new person! I'm not sure if it's the exercise or the four pounds I no longer own or the lack of pop or the vegetables (what are those again?) or the extra prayer time or the deliberate donning of the armor of God every day - but who IS this girl? I sure don't know her. She's perky before ten, which is nothing short of a miracle. She hasn't lost her temper in Wal-Mart for two weeks - an even bigger miracle. She has only cried once at work during one of the craziest weeks of the semester. I think I like her.

Even if she IS old and falling apart - I think she can stay.

I Am Wonder Woman

A few minutes ago, one of the office girls said to me, "You are wonder woman today." I said to her, "Yeah, I wonder why I'm still here and when this day is going to end. "

I prayed up extra hard this morning because I knew it was going to be a crazy day. And don't you know that I had already been in tears once before 8:30? But I got that out of my system and proceeded to have a great day!!! Things are definitely picking up here in the work world, but I suppose it's better than being bored.

My favorite part today was my festive new sweater I wore. If I ever have a computer and scanner together again, I'll post a picture of it. It's really cute - pink and striped and soft and comfy. AND apparently after the first washing, FUZZY. I looked down at my black pants right after my little meltdown and there was fuzz everywhere. I had to go home at lunch and get my lint roller and bring it back to work with me. And here I am with an office full of people, trying to act professional, with pink fuzzies all over my patootie.

So anyway. It's five and I wonder why I'm still here. I also wonder what happened to 2/3 of my brain. I can't even answer the easy questions right now. Guess that means it's time to go exercise...and go to Bible study...and pay some bills...and lint roller AGAIN.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

I have survived my first round of accountability for the goals I set forth this new year. I am choosing to pursue this year one week at a time. I can’t look ahead to December – or February – without becoming overwhelmed by all that I feel called to pursue and accomplish. But I can look ahead to next Sunday. And that was pretty much the way I tackled the week behind me. With each choice I faced, I just thought of the accountability phone call that I knew would happen this afternoon and made my decision according to how I wanted to answer the questions posed to me.

The week has been delightfully exhausting. Falling asleep each night was no problem – with the exception of the times that my sore, surprised-by-exercise muscles were screaming at me. But there is a marked difference between going to bed tired because I’ve stayed up too late just wasting time and going to bed tired because I put in a good day’s work.

I learned some things along the way. James 4:8 says “Come near to God and he will come near to you…” I learned that verse back when I was about four years old and the way to learn it went more like “Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you.” But either way you look at it, the message remains. This week I did some coming near…some drawing nigh. And on more than one occasion I got the “God-goose-bumps” as I call them.

Friday was such a day. I woke up at the way too early crack of dawn and scooted up in my fleece sheets (trying not to knock the cat out of the bed) to get my Bible and my journal. I read my short morning devotional, I read my faith verse of the day, I read the passage about putting on the armor of God, and I was scribbling away some early morning thoughts to God. Now typically neither of us expect those thoughts to make too much sense, but on Friday, my mind had a worry. This faith study God has drawn me to do is eventually going to result in some sort of hands-on training. This both excites and petrifies me.

For some reason, that day, I had a money worry on my mind. I wrote in my journal something to the effect of “would I really be able to live a life of financial faith?” Part of me hated to ask, because I was afraid God would say, “Well how about we get rid of your job and have everything in your house break down at once and see how you do?” (And given that this week I’ve had two light fixtures re-break, my computer spazz out, and my hairdryer bite the dust, this seemed a very real concept.) So I just posed the question, shut the journal, and crawled out of the oh-so-comfy bed to start getting ready. As I stood up, I noticed my other devotional book on the bottom shelf of my night stand. I’d been reading in it only at night, but that day, I decided to go ahead and pick it up.

There were several paragraphs that day – sometimes it’s a short reading, and sometimes not. But right in the middle of all it had to say was the sentence “Do not fear poverty.” Well! I guess that takes care of that!

And so the week went – I asked questions and somehow God sent answers. And I went back to James 4:8, remembering (how I remember this, I do not know) the hot summer day of long ago when I learned that verse from Mom’s construction paper alphabetical scripture lesson. (It was the “D” verse.) Back on that day, it was just a verse to learn because it was time for the next one in the alphabetical list.

But this week that verse came to life – as it has before. Some people may look at my five covenants for my relationship with God (as well as the rest of my list of 25) and call the whole thing too ambitious. But God is out to prove to me that it’s not too overwhelming. It’s just a week at a time of drawing close to Him and depending on Him to give me the energy for that day of that week. And in the process, He’s out to show me so much more than I know right now.

He keeps His promises. He expects me to keep mine too.

The Grouchies CANNOT Stay

I have given this week the most valiant effort that I have had within me to give. And it has been so rewarding. I've had the best week I can remember having in a really long time. I've tried to be conscious of my attitude and my nearness to God every minute. I even (brace yourself) enjoyed two visits to Wal-Mart this week.

And today Satan showed up to rob my joy. I have reminded myself over and over of the Joyce Meyer devotional I read first thing on New Year's Day - about not allowing the things of the day barge in and drag you down.

Today has been my first real test. I've whined a couple of times and found myself immediately offended by my own whine. I don't want to be "that girl" anymore. I tried to suck it up and smile through the phone calls that made me want to move to a far away land where phones don't exist. I took back the eyeroll when the SAME COMPANY THAT CALLS ME EVERY DAY called again my lunch hour. I didn't give "the look" to the very unhelpful CVS lady who looked annoyed that I had a question about the photo scanner. I stopped complaining about a couple of things that about pushed me over the edge.

Because you know what? It has been a good week. I've had good friends give me good encouragement. I've had rest. I've survived a lack of pop and the introduction of rigorous exercise. I'm not going to let a little bit of grouchy keep me down!

I Would Like to Thank...

The seventy people whose combined efforts of seventy-three cards made me this year's winner in the annual Dad-n-Bekah card contest. The official final score was 73-49.

Why is it that every year I am driven to absolute obsessiveness to win, and then I feel bad when I do? Dad's such a good sport to put up with it. I think I take comfort in knowing that he does not send a single card and I send a ton - so if you look at it in that light - he actually wins.

And you can know that next year's card design is already under construction!! I'm excited about it. Although I realize that having the design in mind on JANUARY FOURTH says something about my OCD nature. Probably not a good thing. I prefer to think it's part of my charm.

Congrats, Dad, on a race well run!

Fond Farewells...Okay, JUST Farewells

Saying goodbye is sometimes a fun thing. I enjoyed saying goodbye to the "Bekah of Yore" from 2006 and working on new things for 2007. But I have to say, there are some things that I did not anticipate kissing goodbye. And so far - not really enjoying it.

#1. My trusty string of Christmas lights in the kitchen. Let me explain to you my lighting situation. I believe my kitchen light fixture was the original light bulb. It is one of those SUPER old fluorescent circular situations. I learned earlier this year that to replace said set of bulbs costs $18.00. At that time, I began making plans to just replace the whole thing with something that uses NORMAL bulbs. In the meantime, the fixture has decided to only work on a part time basis. Usually it works when natural light shines in and doesn't when it's pitch black outside. So I depend on my string of Christmas lights in the area above my cabinets to provide light. But last week when I took down my string of garland from above the cabinets, I must have slightly moved the strand of lights. And as a result, last night I broke two bulbs in the cabinet door. I saw smoke, so I'm guessing I need to replace the whole strand. Sigh. And that strand had been working so well for so long!!

#2. Half price nights at the local coffee shop. I'm sure this is one of God's ways of trying to help me out in my "road to health" in 2007. As I walked into the bookstore/coffee shop last night to get a new set of highlighters for my Bible, I saw a sign posted on the door saying that they would no longer have half price latte/cappuccino nights on Mondays and Thursdays. I go EVERY WEEK on Mondays and Thursdays whether I need to or not - just because it's a good deal. I have to say that this decision of theirs is very disappointing to me. It's the second rather significant change that store has made in the last WEEK regarding their cafe section, and I think both choices were bad ones. I think this especially considering that lots of people buy gift cards there. As you'll recall, we just had a major gift giving holiday, and there are some people who received cards and counted on using them for food and half price drinks!! I will refrain from climbing on my full soapbox about it, but it makes me sad. I won't be able to go as often now, and I had really enjoyed that.

#3. My hair dryer. It broke this morning - fortunately at the END of my drying extravaganza. I've had that dryer since college, so I suppose it has done well for me. But a girl loves her hair dryer. I'm trying to see the positive here...so also fortunately, it broke (the on/off switch broke off) while it was ON, so I can just plug it in and go until I get a new one. Still...I wasn't ready to say goodbye to it just yet. Oh the annoyance of replacing the practical things of life. Not nearly as much fun as buying a new book!!!

They say things come in threes, so maybe now I'll get three hellos??

PS - after I wrote that, I said goodbye to thing number four. It was a piece of mail. I was on my way to the office mailbox to put in a letter. It was in my right hand. In my left hand was something I needed to shred. Our office doesn't have a real shredder anymore. We only have a "shred box" where we toss everything and then some company comes and picks it up for us and shreds it. I knew this was going to happen to me eventually. I shredded the mailing. I threw the wrong thing into the box. I kissed the mail goobye and kept the shredding in my hand. Good grief.

I Loved Iced Tea

I say that more to remind myself that I love it than to tell you that I love it. See, I have these 25 things I'm working on in 2007. I prayed about all of them before I committed to doing them - because I wanted these to be areas of my life where God and I worked together to improve the person I'm becoming. But there was this one...the one that I did just to prove to God and to myself that I'm serious about some of the other things on my list.

I gave up pop.

I'm a bit of a carbonated beverage addict. Of the non-alcoholic variety. Coke is my favorite - the straight up, fully leaded, fully sugared variety. NO diet. NO caffeine free. NO artificial sweetners. REAL. I also like root beer, I learned to be okay with cherry coke, I didn't so much mind vanilla coke.

But I liked it all a little too much. So since it would be a sincere sacrifice to be without it for a year, I gave it up. I've done without for Lent before, but that's only 40 days. This is 365. That's nine Lents back to back.

So yesterday I had "the last pop." I savored every drop.

Truthfully, there are days that I don't crave pop but I drink it anyway, because I don't want to get behind. I was hoping today would be one of those days when I didn't crave it - but as I drove to the gas station for the Polar Tea (to replace the Polar Pop), I really wanted a Coke. I suppose this is the disciplined part of me starting early.

I know I can do it. I was a Mountain Dew addict in college and had to give it up cold turkey right after I graduated because the doctor said it was either that or treat an ulcer. Now I don't even like the taste of the good old Dew. So maybe the same thing will happen now. I don't know.

And I really do love tea. I am just going to have to learn to love it more.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

I love New Year’s Eve, because I love a time of reflection and a chance to have a marked fresh start. I’m one of those strange people who enjoys being home on an evening such as this to spend time journaling and thinking and praying. Don’t get me wrong…I love a good party. But sometimes I love a good staying home, too.

For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been praying about what God wants me to work on in 2007. I have a list of 25 things. Five areas…five things in each area. A couple of them might kill me, but if they don’t, just think how strong I’ll be in a year! Yesterday I was excited about the list. Today when I stared at it, I could only think, What have I done?

So while Extreme Makeover: Home Edition plays on my TV, I sit in preparation of Extreme Makeover: Bekah Edition that begins in less than four hours now. I am not quite sure what to think of it, because I don’t quite understand it yet.

Last year in my “New Year Address” to you, I wrote this about the man by the Pool of Bethesda (John 5): “Did the man have any clue where he was going after he stood up? Nope. Why would he? He hadn’t spent the last 38 years imagining this moment would ever happen for real. Oh I’m sure he’d imagined the moment. But never life beyond the moment, because the moment, he knew, would never actually come. But it did. And though we have no written record of what happened to this man after he walked away from that pool, I’m sure God didn’t leave him hanging. Didn’t heal him just to dump him into a life of confusion.”

And then I said about myself, “I accepted the Hand offered to me. I still don’t have any more of an idea today than I did yesterday what is ahead of me this year. But I don’t feel like a paralytic out of options today. I feel like a healed paralytic walking down the road carrying my princess blanket, singing a David Phelps song, just waiting for my next instruction.”

The year had its adventures. Seven Tuesday lunch hours spent in the prayer chapel. Thirty days of praying in bold faith for something that seemed crazy. Reading through the Bible in a year – which at times felt more like being dragged along – though I tried valiantly to keep up! Writing about new things. And all the while…walking down the road waiting for my next instruction.

Last night as I channel surfed between sappy movies and President Ford’s funeral, I happened past TBN long enough to catch an “inspirational spot” by some TBN regular (apparently) that I’ve never seen before. He had four quick thoughts to share for the new year and I liked them so much, I wrote them down. In all my commitments and covenants for the new year, keeping these principles before me just might make life seem manageable.

1. Do something to move forward every day. I heard Beth Moore say (on TV, not in person) the other night something like this: if whatever you’re doing doesn’t bring you closer to the goal, then you can clear it from your life. Of course she said it much more eloquently, but the point is the same. The things God has asked of me for the coming year are things designed to move me forward. Some of the things I’m currently doing aren’t really bad, but they’re not helpful in getting me from my spot in this chair to whatever spot in whatever chair God has waiting.

2. Don’t try to figure it out. Oh boy. That’s just what I do best. Even as I made my list of commitments and covenants, I tried to imagine exactly why God put those precise assignments on the list. It’s not my job to know why…it’s only my job to do it. I’m not a CSI. I don’t need to inspect the evidence and know the why of any of it.

3. Ease up and enjoy. Part of the journey is the journey. I’m so busy trying to figure out where I’m going that I’m missing everything that is happening to me along the way. Sometimes I take life too seriously. Sometimes I don’t take it seriously enough. But always, along the way, I need to enjoy this plan that God has written.

4. Don’t settle. I love New Year’s because I love the fresh start. But December tends to wear me out. I’m tired of last year’s news and ready for something different. And it’s in those end weeks that I get frustrated and try to figure out the easiest way to finish one project so I can start a new one. But I’m not to settle. Not on any of the commitments I made.

I like to have a “verse of the year” every year as well. I found mine for 2007 a couple of days ago. God pointed it out to me as I read through a passage for my Bible study. “The Lord said to Samuel, ‘How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king” (1 Samuel 16:1).

Seems like a strange theme verse, doesn’t it? Well I’m not Samuel, I’m not in mourning, and I don’t think I’ve been called to declare anyone king. But, God is having this same conversation with me – just with different details. How long am I going to hang onto the past (fill in the blank with about fourteen different things) since those days are over? Fill up with a fresh start, be ready to go, and wait for His direction!

So these are my thoughts to close out one year and start a new one. Thanks for listening in on my New Year’s Eve reflection time. I hope that you are enjoying your own celebration, wherever you are, and I also hope that you allow yourself a chance to fill up and be on your way to God’s plan for you in the coming year!

FOR example...

To further explain how the whole stamping thing works...

This is this year's Christmas card.

See the stars? That's a stamp. (One stamp - used multiple times.)

See the white tree? That's a stamp.

See the gold squiggles over the white tree? That's a stamp.

See "The world in solemn stillness lay..."? That's a stamp.

See the white ribbon? That's a ribbon. Just in case you didn't know.

The buckle is a pop can tab sprayed gold. I didn't come up with that idea. I found it online.

So that's how the stamping works. And if you do it for over 8 hours, you get a complimentary KILLER backache that is SO worth it.

Hey, There are Worse Addictions

Last night I was pleasantly surprised to find that the UPS man had paid a visit to my house while I was at work. In fact, I about knocked Braeya off the recliner in my hurry to get to the front door to retrieve the box. The box turned out to weigh a lot more than I imagined, so I had to resort to dragging it into the house.

My stamp order arrived.

Not postage stamps. Rubber stamps. And ink pads. And ink refills. And some new stamp sets. And LOTS of card stock. I used to sell stamps to feed my addiction...I mean build my collection. It really was a great gig for a fresh out of college, rather broke girl. But then my schedule got too busy and I couldn't fit in the time to be the demonstrator that a demonstrator should be, so I gave up selling. And in doing that, I also gave up my stamp buying money. So now I only get to place one or two big orders a year - after a tax refund or a Christmas gift or something. This year I think I owned the little bit of money for about fifteen minutes before I placed my order.

And now it's here. I am ready to book a vacation day so that I can stay in my jammie pants all day long, forget makeup and hair, and just stamp my little heart out.

I'm a little crazy, I know. But it could be worse, don't you think?

Oh and in other crazy news...I started planning next year's Christmas card last night. I need therapy, don't I?

Biker Bekah?

There was some question as to whether or not my recent gift of a leather jacket puts me in the category of a Biker Babe. Well, the babe I'll admit to, but the last time I tried a bike, I ended up spending six weeks in a pink cast. Granted that was about 18 years ago and it was actually a bike and not a Harley.

So anyway - to clear up any further confusion...

Here is the old coat. I really don't understand why Mom had such a problem with this collar!

And here is the new version.

As you can see...not so much the black and silver variety.

Christmas with the Fam

Pictures from Christmas Day!

My sister Julie and her husband Tom were able to spend the day with us. Julie is sporting the scarf that doubles as a tube top (see post below).

Mom and Dad - not sure why they look so scared. Dad is totally hooked on all books about the Amish.

And everyone else joined us via webcam. I think the modern technology fits in so well with the Nativity scene - don't you?

Table for five please!

Ahhh...Sweet Success

I commented around the beginning of the month that I really had a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit this year. Yet looking back across the month, I'd have to say this has been one of my favorite Christmases. I really settled down and enjoyed being IN the season.

A couple of nights ago, Faith, Hannah, and I went driving around looking for the biggest light displays on the smallest properties...and pictures of that adventure will be available soon. There were some garish ones, for sure!

Last night I went to an 11:00 p.m. Christmas Eve service. I think I was in college the last time I did that. I enjoyed that way to end the day.

And this morning I just ran around hoping and praying that all the food would turn out ON time and that no one would die. It's four hours later and everyone is gone. Hopefully they're only gone home and not GONE gone.

I found a couple of recipes that were keepers!! Always dangerous to try out the new stuff on the family, but that's what I did! :D The meal was a success, and with the exception of Dad, I got great compliments on it. Dad said "Not bad." That translates to "Not really what I would have chosen, but it could have been worse." He says it translates to "really good." Then why not just say "really good?"

Got some great stuff - in fact, I'm about to curl up with my first ever Beth Moore book and start reading (and underlining). Mom and Dad gave me a new leather jacket. I think it was mostly because Mom is MORTIFIED by the fifteen dollar Goody's special I've been sporting for the last three years. It's all cracked around the collar, and the pockets have huge holes, but it's my FAVORITE! Until now. Now of course, I love the leather. I'm all stocked up on Mary Kay now - so I should eventually become beautiful. Ooh! And a big girl power drill. How sad is it that I ASKED for that?

Dad had it easy this year - usually I send him on a wild goose chase for his gift cards, since that's ALL he ever wants, but this year I was too tired to process a new scheme. Mom acted surprised at the jewelry she picked out when we shopped together. My brother-in-law mulled over a calendar of the world's most difficult golf courses and wondered how they could be real. My other brother-in-law got from me the same Beth Moore book that I received from Mom and Dad. So now we can be Beth friends. (Beth Friendth?) And both my sisters tried to figure out how in the world the scarves I got them legitimately could double as tube tops. I gave Cassie the newest season of Gilmore Girls so she asked if I wanted to come over (to Kansas) and watch. Sure - just as soon as I catch up on the first five seasons!

The web cam was a success - we all gathered round and watched each other open gifts. In person is better, but hey, this was better than nothing!

And now...I CAN TAKE A NAP!! Because do you know what time you have to get up to cook ham on Christmas? Well it's before 11. I can tell you that.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Seventeen years ago today, on a Sunday a little bit colder than this one, right about this time in the afternoon, my niece was born. My parents and I went straight to the hospital right after the morning church service. We did not pass go or collect $200 (or lunch, I might add) – just hurried up to sit and wait.

The nurse brought Polaroids into the waiting room and we all about knocked her down, trying to get the first glimpse of the baby. I was so hoping for a niece…and I got my wish. Best Christmas gift ever!

I remember the first time I held her. I got a little bit lost in the shuffle of people vying for the first baby holding. Some things never change. I still won’t ask to hold a baby. But as we were leaving a few hours later, Mom realized I’d not gotten my turn, so she asked me if I wanted to hold Cassie. Silly question.

The picture of our first bonding moment is a little scary. Even though I’d held many babies before and was a regular “junior helper” in the church nursery, I’d never before held a baby who was only hours into life outside the womb. The look on my face in this picture is one of “I have no idea what I’m doing here. Help!”

And yet, Cassie slept peacefully, totally unaware that the arms that held her weren’t a bit sure of themselves. And that day, despite my worries about dropping and breaking the baby, I knew that this little girl was going to be not just my niece, but a very special friend.

My nerves didn’t last long. By the next day, I was an old pro at the newborn thing. I still sported collapsing hair and questionable stonewashed clothing (ahhh, the 80’s!), but my confident smile and mothering skills had kicked in.

History leads us to believe that Mary was a teenager when Jesus was born. Maybe a very young teenager at that. In fact, she might have been barely older than the eleven years I was when Cassie was born. I wonder if she had a brief moment in those first few hours of Jesus’ life when a Polaroid (had it been available) might have captured that same unsure look on her face. Maybe the first time He cried and she wasn’t quite sure what that particular whimper meant or how to fix it. Or when she wondered if she might accidentally break Him as she carried Him across the stable.

If she had such a moment, I just imagine that it didn’t last very long. As the hours passed, and she grew familiar with Him, and He showed her that He was perfectly content with her, she must have gained confidence as His mother.

Chris Eaton and Amy Grant wrote a great song – a song from Mary’s perspective. My preference is the Point of Grace version, but the lyrics, regardless of who sings them, capture what I think that moment was all about. The song is called Breath of Heaven.

The life of a newborn holds such power. Cassie taught me that. One week after she was born, I made a covenant with God to have a new kind of relationship with Him. I had been a Christian since I was six, but as I held Cassie, fed her, changed her, and rocked her to sleep in that first week of her life, I realized I needed more than just that title. I needed a real relationship with God. I needed God to show me how to be an aunt – a good aunt. The prayer I prayed that night was full of my own stammering version of Help me be strong…help me be...help me.

All of that happened seventeen years ago. Cassie has become a special friend to me – just like I knew she would. And I hope that I’ve done a good job in the aunt department. Perhaps not always the best, but hopefully I’ve done well. Happy birthday, Miss Cassie. I love you, and I’m thankful that you, even as a tiny little baby, inspired me to turn to the Breath of Heaven.

Merry Christmas!

Bekah

P.S. – Since I’m out of Sundays to share my favorite Christmas songs, can I throw in one more? I heard this one on the radio this week for the first time and loved it. It’s called One Silent Night and was sung by Jaci Velasquez and Burlap to Cashmere. The song combines the traditional carol Silent Night with Jaci’s song God So Loved. I loved the combo.

Some Things Never Change

Christmas 1981

It wasn't my first visit with Santa, but I think it was the first time I sat on his lap. I wasn't too sure about that the first time they tried. They were good parents and let me keep my distance. I'd have made me sit there just for the photo opp alone. Even if it was a screamy face.

Christmas 2006

Not sure what I asked for the first time around, but this time I asked for my mortgage to be paid off. Apparently this is why Santa visits children. They're cheaper.

Christmas with B

Last Sunday, I had Christmas at my parents' house with my Aunt B. She is my Mom's much YOUNGER sister. (Important to remember that!)

Mom usually makes a birthday cake for Jesus, but Sunday we had birthday pie. We each got to blow out a candle, and despite what it looks like, I did not have a headache. :) I was getting frustrated with the camera.

My gift from Aunt B was a Tree of Life gift card...I sense some coffee in my future!!!!

Dad, Mom (the OLDER sister) and Aunt B (the YOUNGER sister).

Further proof that Dad is feeling more normal these days. Aunt B gave him this warm shirt/coat thing with a hood, and, well...he had to try it out.

How Smart Do I Have to Be? Good GRIEF!

It was all my idea to begin with, so I have no one to blame but myself. I got this brilliant idea to host Christmas here at my house so that the Indiana family could share Christmas with the out of state family by having a webcam Christmas.

Such a simple idea, no?

That's right. NO.

My sister and I have been working for about 3 weeks now to get our webcams to work WHILE the microphone works. That way we don't have to have a pantomime Christmas.

It has nearly exhausted us both. We are both college educated people, but CLEARLY that does not make us smart. She's a lot smarter than I am - and a billion times more patient. We had success just now with sound AND video - for one brief shining millisecond. Most of the time, we only have video...

She's still not giving up - but we might have to start practicing exaggerated reactions anyway. Gives new meaning to Silent Night, doesn't it?

A Successful Party!!

I had a little dinner party at my house last night - pictures will be around sometime, I'm sure. Anyway. I had the work girls over for dinner. I love to cook and do so all the time - even though it's just for me - but I always get nervous when other people eat my cooking. If I make something and hate it, I can say yuck and go to plan B. But if I made something and the company said yuck and asked for a plan B, I'd be mortified!

Despite my nervousness, all seemed to go well. We had lasagna. It was pretty yummy, but it made a 9X13, so I'll be eating lasagna for quite a little while now. :) All the food was done at the right time - which made me very happy. And the cats didn't knock over any candles, so the 248 of them that were lit did not prove to be a fire hazard.

My favorite part (sorry cat-haters) was when Braeya tried to get up on the table. She was on my ONE dining room chair that has arms. I was moving toward her rather quickly and she KNEW she was in trouble. I tried to pick her up to ground her to the upstairs during the meal, and she seemed stuck on something. I leaned over to look closely, and that little booger had both her front paws wrapped securely around the arm of the chair. It was like a two year old with fur! I was laughing so hard - but she still found herself banished to the upstairs. She sat right on the other side of the stairway door and stuck one paw out through the crack under the door, waving wildly. Cute, baby girl, but not cute enough to buy your release until dinner is over!

Now I have to start cooking for the big Christmas Day extravaganza!! That means one more braving of the Wal-Mart......

mama.

Longest Week #452

I appreciate the slow days of Christmas break. It's nice to be able to park closer than 250 miles from my building. It's nice to not have a bunch of voicemails and emails rolling in faster than I can respond. It's nice to dust the desk and clean the drawers.

But it is so boring!!!

At 8:15 this morning, someone asked me how the day was going, and I said, "Well I'm just waiting for five!"

And now - one coffee, half a water bottle, half a coke, and three pieces of pizza later, I'm still waiting for five! Tonight I'm having the office girls over for dinner, so I keep thinking of all the things I could be doing at home. Maybe I'll get to go home early since I do need to preheat the oven. :) One could hope!!!

Well - I have absolutely nothing of importance to report. I was just blogging out of boredom.

Christmases of Yore

I have been inspired by Deb's post of Christmas memories, so I dug into the recesses of the closet to find the baby pictures that are awaiting permanent placement in a fully decked out scrapbook. Clearly that hasn't happened yet.

I tried to put these three in here in a very specific order and Blogger has very randomly mixed them up. So you know...imagine.

This was my third Christmas. If you scroll down two pictures, you'll see this same baby on the day I initially received her. That day she was clothed and had hair. You can see what a difference a year makes. I carried this doll around for years, naked and hairless. What did I do to the hair? DO YOU SEE NOW WHY THE PREDICTION OF TWO BABY GIRLS IN MY FUTURE SCARES ME???

This was my first Christmas - the year I was the baby. I've carefully cropped my sister out of the background...I know better than to tick people off with almost 30 year old pictures of themselves. Especially right before Christmas!!

Christmas #2. Such a little Mama. HA. Little did this baby know that one year later, she'd be naked and bald. (That would be the doll, not me.) Is anyone else enjoying the Polaroid camera in the background??

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Well, as I write this, American Idol Rewind is playing on WGN, and I’m hearing some frightening sounds coming from the living room. They’re showing the highlights (and lowlights) of season one, which unfortunately was not the season that Keith or William Hung made an appearance in the auditions, but there are some that are just as bad.

And speaking of bad auditions…this afternoon when I was home at Mom and Dad’s, having Christmas with my aunt, Dad unearthed several “takes” of me offering renditions of Away in a Manger. I was probably about three. It was no doubt done around the same time I recited Luke 2 that I told you about last week. Wow. Child prodigy I was not. I cried laughing at my own self. I will give myself credit for knowing the words. Tempo and tune seemed to have escaped me entirely that day, however.

So between the memory of my toddler-auditions and some caterwauling wannabes in Chicago singing in my ear, I move my thoughts to more pleasant Christmas music. Oh dear. Just as I wrote that, some guy on TV started singing “Si-ya-lent night.”

Well, away from the world of American Idol, I heard a song this week that I’d not heard yet this season. I’m not sure why my radio station hasn’t been playing it – because it’s a great song! The choir sang it at our Christmas chapel this week and refreshed my memory of its existence.

This is one of Chris Rice’s songs, and it’s called Welcome to Our World. (Julie C. – just so you’ll know, you are my pick to sing this song – even over Chris. Don’t tell him.)

You can go here to read the lyrics and hear a clip.

As I’ve been writing about Advent and studying the Bible to read more of those familiar passages in hopes of seeing something from a new angle, I’ve been caught up in just how real all those people were. All of them were special and chosen to have a part in that moment of history, but all of them were just the you and me of 2000 years ago.

They were people with dreams and worries too.

Mary was a mother who resourcefully found around her the things she needed to make a home for a baby. And she accepted everything that happened – from the change to her marriage plans to a bunch of smelly men barging in on her makeshift nursery when her baby was only hours old.

Joseph was a man who found himself filling the role of a father, even when he wasn’t sure exactly how to do it. He obeyed immediately and without question, even when the things he heard God asking him to do seemed to make no sense.

The shepherds were the least of the social ladder and had probably never been close to babies who were not born with a woolly covering. And yet suddenly they were the first on the visitor list for a baby they didn’t even know.

Simeon was an old man who held to what he believed God had said, even though everyone might have called him crazy. And maybe sometimes he felt crazy. But he still clung to what he knew he heard.

And Jesus – though an extraordinary Baby, was still a baby. Still had to breathe our air and walk our sod. Still had to feel what we feel and experience what we experience.

The Christmas story isn’t a “story.” It was real. And those people weren’t well-groomed, halo bearing, perfectly serene men and women. They were us. Just earlier in history. And He was as real as they were. And He still is.

Back to the Name Quandry

Back on October 22, I posted a Sunday blog about names. I would explain it to you - but you can very easily read it for yourself, so I'll just let you. But I ended it this way:

"Having said that, Braeya was one of my girl names. I had picked it out and had it on the famous 'layaway list' for my someday baby girl. But when I got my little Braeya, I had decided I wasn't having kids after all. So rather than waste a perfectly good name, I used it for her.

"Now I've decided it would be nice to have kids someday. But we're going to have to stick with boys - because those are the names I still have."

Guess what? It appears my boy names are up for sale.

No, I'm not having a baby. But tonight at a party (a Sunday School class party, no less) one of the ladies asked me if I'd ever seen her baby predicting trick. I'd heard about it but never seen it. So she got it all set up and demonstrated it to me on one of the other ladies from our class. The trick is supposed to tell you how many kids you'll have and what gender they will be. So I watched as the results came out for her...girl, boy, girl, boy. And then I swung my eyes across the room to view her girl, boy, girl, boy.

Scary.

And I've heard from others who have volunteered to have it done that it has been accurate on everyone so far.

Since I have absolutely no intentions of finding out the gender of my someday children until they pop out in the delivery room, I thought it might be kind of fun to see what the "trick" has in store for me.

So I sat down to watch and wait. The outcome?

Two girls.

I asked for a redo.

Two girls.

I said, "But I wanted three boys!!!! Those are the names I have."

Fortunately, just this week, I came up with a good girl name that I've never heard before. So I guess this next weeek I better come up with a second one.

And maybe, by the time I'm fifty and these kids exist, the names will still be good. :)

Just for You, Phats

Earlier today I was informed "Tag, you're it" by my friend Phats. Turns out it's my turn to answer this stuff...so here you go!

A - Available/Single? The single I will claim. The available depends on who asks.

B - Best Friend? Lynnette - we even had those Best/Friend half in half necklaces when we were younger! That makes it official!

C - Cake or Pie? Well unless my Mom is the pie baker, it's definitely cake - chocolate please. But Mom makes a mean cherry pie.

D - Drink Of Choice? Toss up between coke (none of that diet business) and a caramel frappe

E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? ALARM CLOCK. Since you know...work feels the need to start before 2 p.m.

F - Favorite Color? Purple - and the people at work know they had best leave purple ink to my use alone!

G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Worms - the sour kind

H - Home or Homesick? Not sure exactly what that means either, Phats, but I'll go with home.

I - Indulgence? Coffee or chocolate - or both together!

J - January Or February? Oh boy that's tough. January because I love new beginnings, but February because it's the same pay for 2-3 days less work! :) (I'm not lazy, though, I promise!)

K - Kids & Their Names? If cats count, I have Kaegan and Braeya. Otherwise, nada.

L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Gonna hafta go with God on this one - this week has made me extra aware of that!

M - Marriage date? Yes I've heard that dating leads to marriage.

N - Number Of Siblings? 2 sisters

O - Oranges Or Apples? Can't have oranges, so I'll go with apples. I do actually like them.

P - Phobias/Fears? Used to be deathly afraid of storms. I'm doing better with that now. I am not fond of the dark, and I'm really scared of driving on ice.

Q - Favorite Quote? I have lots - but the one I use a lot lately is "I hate that for you!" I didn't even know how much I said it until someone said to me the other day (when I was upset about something that happened to me at work) "Well, to quote you, 'I hate that for you!'"

R - Reason to Smile? Because I have great friends and an amazing God.

S - Season? I always like the current one the most. I get really into all of them.

T - Tag 3 or 4 people? Well, I never was very good at tag, so I might not actually tag anyone.

U - Unknown Fact About Me? I can sing a song in Japanese - I actually remember it from when a friend of mine taught it to me about 15 years ago.

V - Vegetable you don’t like? Can you think of a veggie? That one.

W - Worst Habit? Worrying incessently.

X - X-rays You’ve Had? My leg when I broke it. My mouth and jaw a million times. I'm a dental nightmare.

Y - Your Favorite Food? Whopper Juniors from Burger King.

Z - Zodiac Sign? I understand I'm a Taurus. This was news to me.

More Decking the Halls!

A couple of Sundays ago, Angela called to see if I would help her decorate her Christmas tree. So after evening church, I went over and learned all about trees that come in three pre-assembled pieces. How much easier was THAT!!!?? So much better than sorting branches by color and all the crazy stuff I did more than once. Anyway - so here are some pictures from the deck the halls extravaganza!

My job was to put the ornaments on the tree.

I think this look definitely needs to be left to Rudolph. What happened to my hair?

Angela was in charge of lights.

And because it was her tree - and because she's taller - she was also in charge of putting the star on top. :)

Thanks, Angela, for letting me come over and help you! I had a great time!!!

The Amazing Christmas Card Race

Dad and I have a contest every year to see who can get the most cards. The man never sends a single card - and yet there have been some years when he's come dangerously close to beating me. And that's after I labor over dozens of them!!!

Anyway, just thought I'd tell you that as of today my count is 17 cards (I think!) and Dad is at - what was it - four?? YES! This might be my year to win by a landslide!!!

Thanks, Laura, for boosting my count! Mom said it wasn't fair, but I say all is fair in Christmas cards!

Road Trip!!

I'm behind on pictures...how did this happen? This is from my trip to Frankenmuth right after Thanksgiving. It was my first time ever to go to Frankenmuth, and I've decided I must go back. With shorter shoes. I wore my however many inch heels and by the end of the day, I was ready to amputate both feet. I wanted to take off my shoes just for a minute, but I was afraid I might never get them back on.

So this was the official photo of the day - with Lynnette. She's stuck by me since I was a fifth grader. That is true friendship! I had a blast spending the weekend with her and her husband - just shopping the time away!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Well I have another great new Christmas song to share with you this week. Wanna know something? I don’t know it. I’ve searched the internet high and low for the lyrics and they’re either not there or I am an inept searcher. (Choice #2 probably wins there…I have the same problem using the stupid “helpful online handbook” at work.) Anyway, so this song is one I’ve only heard one time, and that was this morning at church. It was part of our Christmas cantata. And given that I was not in the cantata, I don’t even know the words. I had to call four people before I finally found someone still in possession of a book containing the words!!!

But first, let me fill you in on why it made my list of great songs for the Christmas season. You know…given that I don’t actually know the song.

Let me back up to this morning while I was getting ready for church. My Dad has a radio program – just in case you didn’t know that. One program airs at an hour far before my day of rest begins. So I listen to the second one while I get ready. I try never to miss it because as sure as I do…that will be the Sunday he talks about me. Or worse (given that it’s the Christmas season) the Sunday he plays that recording of me reciting Luke 2 from the King James Version when I was only 3 years old.

So this morning I was rushing about (typical start to the day of rest) applying the finishing touches and as I flew past the bathroom door on my way to get shoes, I heard him say something about “How is your faith level today?” I yelled to the radio, “I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!”

I knew right then that God was up to something. I had just been complaining to Him that the faith walk wasn’t going so well lately. Apparently He’s determined to work on it with me.

That brings me to the song. I settled back in the pew in church, ready to listen to the cantata while remembering days of yore when I used to be in cantatas. I think my last one was in the day of some extravagant bangs. It’s on video. Unfortunately. Today’s crowd looked much more normal – all in black rather than the baby blue maternity-esque robes we used to wear.

The cantata had a nice flow of nice songs – including one by my precious David Phelps. You can know I was lip-syncing to that one from my pew. And then came “the song.” I could just envision God peering over the side of the Throne watching to see if I’d notice it. I did.

Everything about the song was different from the rest. It was the “fun song” of the set. The upbeat one. The catchy one. Apparently for a reason. The song was sung by the Innkeeper, trying to defend his position as a businessman who needed to make money and clean up the bad rap he’s gotten throughout history for throwing the Son of God’s mother into a barn to give birth.

The chorus of the song said this:

We simply settle. We end up with so much less than the miracles God has in mind to do. Oh yes we settle. What we get is not the best – not the wonder that He planned for me and you. Instead of all He wants to give us, we end up with so little. And we miss out on so much more because we settle.

Gulp. Okay God, I got the point. God could see the wheels turning in my little brain, feverishly trying to gain a plan B and C in case the A He told me about fails to work. And I have a feeling that A is going to sit in a stalled position until I quit trying to form B and C.

These days of Advent that I’ve been studying and writing about – well, this song could be the theme song of each person’s life. If any of them…all of them…had settled for something else, they’d have missed out on God’s plan to involve them personally with Jesus’ life – somewhere from birth to the cross. And I’m learning that the same is true for me. And I have a feeling it’s the same for you.

So, Dad, to answer your question – today it’s not so great. But God hasn’t given up on making the answer a super!!! I know He is anti-settle and determined to get me there as well.

The Resident Thief

Last night I decided to wrap as many Christmas gifts as I could. I had a dilemma I was trying to fix in the cheapest possible way. Have you looked at the price of Christmas tree skirts lately? They are ridiculous!!! Especially when you have five trees in your house! Anyway, my two big trees do not have tree skirts yet, and both are prone to falling over (thanks to my less than level floors) so I have them propped up with outdated magazines. It's quite a picture...all the lights...all the ornaments...and then the magazines. So I decided that if I wrapped some gifts and put them under the tree, people could look at the gifts and not the magazines!!

So I hauled out of the closet the paper that I bought on clearance last year...found the scissors, tape, and bows, and dug the white tags and Christmas card stamps out of the craft room. I have to make my tags match the paper and cards...it's a bit of an OCD illness with me.

I wrapped the first gift, stamped the tag with the little star, wrote the to and from, and moved on to gift number two. But when I started to stamp the tag for that one, I couldn't find the little star. I had JUST had it two minutes before!! I ran my hand under the couch, lifted up store sacks filled with gifts, shook the wrapping paper roll, even dumped out all the bows and shook out my clothes. No stamp. You can well imagine that at this point, I figured I was absolutely losing my mind.

I was determined to not get behind because of one silly stamp. I mean I do own other star stamps. Just not others like THIS one. Sigh. So I finished about half the wrapping and decided to take a bathroom break. As I headed down the hall, Braeya went rip-tearing around me, so I said, "Hey, did you steal my stamp?" When I walked into the bathroom I saw her diving into the tub (one of her favorite places to play) and underneath her furry little belly was my star stamp. That little rascal had carried my stamp from the living room into the bathroom and hidden it in the tub!!!! I'm telling you....she's part dog!

So I went back and stamped all the tags and rewrapped the one gift I'd UNwrapped just to see if somehow I'd put the stamp IN the gift. I didn't get as much done as I wanted, but hey, at least I can't see those magazines anymore!!

Trees...Trees...There are More Trees!

I have been told I am a blog-a-holic. To this I say, true, but there are worse kinds of a "holic" that I could be, so if blog is as bad as it gets - I'm doing pretty well.

Anyway, I had a request for my tree pictures, so here they are...some of them.

Let me explain. I grew up in a normal home where the family had ONE tree in a central location. I am aware that life should still function that way. But along the path, I encountered Lynette. She is the secretary in our office and she LOVES Christmas trees. I think she has nine in her house this year. She wraps each branch of each tree with lights - it's not uncommon for her to have 1300 lights on one tree. And from her I've caught the tree fever.

Which is why I have five in my house.

Gulp.

I only have three pictures because one turned out really dark and the other one has a couple of finishing touches before it is picture-worthy. So for now, I present three trees.

This is the little tree in my office. It's just a little foot and a half Charlie Brown hodge podge tree. I have on it the ornaments I've collected over the years...Baby's First Christmas...Scrapbooking Pals...#1 Babysitter...Princess...one from the piano teacher...that sort of thing. I put the multi-colored lights on it because that's the way our tree always was when I grew up and I wanted to pay tribute to that!

This is the tree in my dining room. It's about four feet tall and it's my Americana tree. My dining room is decorated in Americana "stuff" and so I had make the tree match. White lights, red and blue ornaments, and very fun red and silver twisty rope garland.

And THIS is the living room tree. The seven foot tree that Braeya sent crashing to the floor when I wasn't looking. You can't really tell here because it's so "lit" but it's a Victorian tree - all kinds of old fashioned ornaments and gold trumpets and French Horns and little tufts of gold bows. (And about six really old magazines propping it up so that she doesn't get the best of it again!!)

I have more pictures to post - but to try to pacify everyone, I'll do them later.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

I’ve had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I went through all the motions. I picked my card design this summer and had all of them made by mid-November. I wrote my Christmas letter in October, and the whole card project was complete before Thanksgiving (including signing and addressing). I planned a few parties, signed up to attend a few more, made my shopping list, and even spent three days decorating the whole house, complete with five trees. I’ve listened to Christmas music at work and in the car, and I’ve begun taking in as many Hallmark and Lifetime made-for-TV-Christmas-movies as I can stomach.

And still…blah.

I thought maybe it was the single bug biting. Sending in an RSVP for one at parties and signing one little name on a card can eventually get the best of even the most spirited Christmas lover. Collapsing on the bed after lugging around an entire attic of Christmas boxes alone can give a rather painful reminder that no one is around to help. And while I do my best to not dwell on that (and usually succeed) – it can worm its way in now and then.

So last week as I did the same old same old at my desk sometime between 8 and 5, I heard a radio spot by one of the ladies on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries. She talked about a woman who incorporated a daily advent reading into her first Christmas together with her husband. Aside from the memories of her first Christmas as a married woman, she always cherished that extra measure of worship she incorporated through that reading.

Hmmm…Advent. More than just an extra ten minutes in Sunday morning’s service while someone in a bathrobe and a towel tied around his head lights a candle? More than just a piece of chocolate hiding behind a cardboard number?

I decided that maybe Advent is just what I need. Not the bathrobe and towel version…not the chocolate version. A study version. I have committed to spending at least ½ hour – and much more than that if I can – in extra Bible study for these 25 days. I’m doing a little writing project that you might see more of later.

I’m only 3 days in, and I have to say that the Spirit has arrived. I’m thoroughly enjoying Christmas! In fact, I can’t wait to sit down each day and think over my designated Scripture and see what new things I can learn! And I am learning. God always points the spotlight on something new in even the most familiar story – if you’re willing to sit long enough to look for it.

Last weekend, on my way up north, I listened to a new CD, courtesy of my friend, Marie. She has introduced me to the music of Todd Agnew – and this year he released his first Christmas CD. One song in particular made me cry, because it put Joseph in a light I’ve not seen him in before. And this is what has allowed me to look at Advent the way I am this year.

The song is called "This is All I Have to Give" and it shares a list of things that perhaps Joseph had dreamed he could give his son - and then his Son ended up being a Child he couldn't even fully understand.

We’re all Josephs of sorts. We sit around and feel like we don’t have much to offer – but He’ll take whatever we do have to offer and count it a gift. We don’t have to understand it – we just have to be willing.

And if you haven't heard the Todd CD, it's called Do You See What I See? Definitely worth checking out!!!

Recovering!!

Watch out...Dad is on the road again. Friday he received his clearance to drive. I called their cell phone on my lunch hour to see if he'd gotten his keys back and Mom answered. I could hear Dad hollering at the drive through lady (I think he thinks she has to hear him from his window to hers...not through that nifty little intercom), so I knew he was back in the driver's seat!!

He continues to recover - and I'm quite sure he continues to do more than he should. It's the Freelan way. We had a festive little bout with wind here on Friday, so today he and Mom were headed outside to dig icicle lights out of the gutter. I'm so sure that was not on his list of doctor-approved activities. Come to think of it, I bet Mom stands around and points at the paper to Dad like I did with Braeya after her surgery. The two rebellious patients and the two follow-the-rules caretakers.

The picture is from Thanksgiving. I was trying to show him how to do a self-portrait, but it came out looking more like a bad still from a helmet-cam. Oh well.

Braeya Just Being a Blessing (eyeroll)

So I'm a little behind on the pictures...sorry!!!

Braeya decided to be quite the helper with the Christmas trees. The first tree I put up was the red white and blue one in the dining room. It's just a little 4 foot tree - not a huge one. Anyway, I think she thought it was done expressly for her...I've found a few of the ornaments in the scrapbook closet. I think she intends to relocate them one by one throughout the month of December and see how long it takes me to notice that they're gone!!!!!

The other picture is from the weekend when I tried to get her to like the cat carrier so she would not fight me on the return trip to the vet. Unfortunately Kaegan was the one who climbed in, and she just took advantage of an opportunity to torture him!! You can see how she amuses him so....

PS - Amy C, where are you??

Amy C - I had to recreate all my links because I lost them in the template change. When I tried to add you back in, I couldn't get to your page from your profile. Can you send me an email with your link?? I didn't want you to think I removed you out of spite!!

Tree Casualty #1

I'm definitely coming down with something. Cold, flu, I'm not sure. But something. So this morning I stayed in bed forever, debating whether or not I was even going to mess with working today. Then I remembered the meeting I couldn't miss. So that answered that question. I dragged myself out of bed and down to the bathroom where I discovered that the hair definitely had to be started over from scratch. Sometimes I can get away with a quick and dirty (literally) fix but not today. So I started over. By the time I got done washing my hair it was already 7:05. I'm supposed to leave home at 7:30.

Can you already see the problem?

On my way to the kitchen to make coffee, I noticed that the litter box was beyond problematic, so I stopped to clean it. Then when I got to the kitchen, I remembered I needed to finish loading the dishwasher and start it because I have major baking to do tonight.

By that time it was 7:15 and I was still in my robe and my hair was still in a towel. I found the end piece to my counter on top of the counter, and the bottle of super glue next to it. Mom and Dad are coming to town today and I know they're stopping by the house. If they found that end piece not glued back on yet, they'd do it for me. I decided to fix that before work.

That's when I saw it.

On my way to the office (at home, not the work office) to get tape to hold the glued piece in place until the glue dried, I saw the seven foot tree dead on its side in the middle of the living room. Two NOT so innocent felines sat next to it with completely expressionless faces.

I said (in my calmest voice), "I don't know which one of you is responsible for this, but it had better not happen again." They left. Wise choice.

So I had to put the tree back up and redecorate the side that had become suddenly naked. Time finished? 7:28. Guess what? I didn't leave on time.

HOWEVER, let the record show, I made it to work on time with hair and makeup in place. About that counter piece, though....I hid it on top of my desk amid some picture frames. I doubt they'll find it there.