Three Words

We all held our breath, I think, as 2020 slid into 2021 almost a month ago now. We wanted to be hopeful. We wanted to grab hold of a thread that would swing us into some freshness and newness. We craved leaving behind the uncertainty and fear that dominated so many corners of the year before.

We wanted to, but most of us were also afraid. After all, we know there's nothing magical about the midnight stroke. Life isn't a Cinderella script. 

So we reached forward hesitantly, wanting to believe the best of a new year, while simultaneously throwing a backward glance, aware of what we'd just lived for so may months.

This weekend we cross off the first month of 2021, and a question I saw this week really struck me: what three words would you use to describe your January?

I had to ponder that one. Just three words?? You know I'm not known for brevity, right? But I welcomed the challenge and came up with these three words for my January:

1. Pause. 

Though the month has been busy, I have carved out time to pause this month. I've paused to read. I've paused to dig deeply into the Bible. I've paused to walk and pray. I've paused to think deeply about hard questions. I've paused to ponder what God wants from me in this moment and in the moments to come. 

Pausing, at least for me, has been a challenge. It's forced me to consider difficult changes. It's opened my eyes to subjects that may not be easy or pleasant. But it's been good for me. I've come to welcome the pause, even when I know it may bring discomfort. 

2. Courage.

My job is growing me. When Ryan and I sat in our interview last summer, Rob asked some tough questions about areas where we might need to grow as people. They weren't questions meant to keep us from being hired, but rather questions that challenged us to recognize that we are never done growing or learning. Courage in the face of conflict is a difficult area for me, and I shared candidly about that in our interview. I'm usually the peacemaker in a room, and conflict isn't my favorite thing.

But this month found me exhibiting some boldness and courage in ways I've never done before. I will probably always lean toward being the peacemaker and calming presence, but it's exciting to me to learn a courage lives in my heart that I didn't even know I had until now. God promised me He would equip me for this job - not ahead of time, but just in time. I've seen that in new ways this month and I'm grateful. 

3. Faith.

Like I said, God doesn't equip me ahead of time, but He does give me what I need just in time for the moments I need them. As life twists and changes - almost daily - I find myself gripping tighter to my faith in God. 

Faith for the right words in the right moments. Faith to believe He has answers to the questions that run deep. Faith that God will care for situations that seem silly to me even when I pray about them. Faith that He has a plan, even when I don't see what it could possibly be. Faith that even the things that didn't turn out the way I'd hoped aren't lost causes.

Yes. Pause, courage, and faith. Those are words that describe my January. (I started to say they described our January, but I didn't figure I should commit Ryan to all three of my words. He might have his own!)  What would you say described yours?