I Choose You: Understanding

We did it! We reached the end of our mini-series! (I will do a wrap-up tomorrow, but today is the last letter in the acrostic.)

I choose you ends with a U, and in our acrostic, that stands for understanding.

Want to know a secret?

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.

Not even the marriage you hold in highest esteem as the marriage you want to emulate right now or someday. Not even our marriage - I figure I should be very clear about that since you've been looking at so many parts of it over the last few days! 

You want to know why no perfect marriage exists?

You aren't perfect.

Your spouse isn't perfect.

Life certainly isn't perfect, is it?

In the course of your daily life, you're going to make mistakes. You are going to say and do things without thinking and immediately wish for a do-over. You are even going to say and do things intentionally and regret them later. 

When (not if, but when) those moments come, you can choose to be bitter about it, or you can choose to understand that you are two imperfect people living in an imperfect marriage in an imperfect world. You can choose to offer understanding, forgiveness, and love.

Here's the truth of it: I have disappointed Ryan in our almost five-and-a-half years of marriage. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. And yes, there have even been moments when he has disappointed me. But I understand that at the core of his heart, my husband loves me with everything he is, and he wants to serve me well and love me completely. That is his heart's desire, and I never question that. And he knows and believes the same to be true about me toward him.

That's how we get through the challenging moments. It's true that most of the time, things are smooth in our household. We don't fight (in the true sense of the word fight) and we don't even argue or disagree very often. I know that's not the case in every home, but that's the norm around here. But there are difficult moments for all the reasons I've stated above. And when those moments hit, we choose to fall back on what we know to be true: we love each other, we're in this marriage for life, and there is nothing at all about either of us that actually wants to hurt or disappoint the other. 

Because of that, we say choose to understand your imperfections. Choose to understand the truth of who you both are at the core. Choose to offer the benefit of the doubt. Choose to repent (to each other and to God) when you fall short of your best behavior, and choose to offer forgiveness. 

** We hope that you have found something helpful in this mini-series we've done over the last couple of weeks. We don't claim to be marriage experts. We just claim to have stumbled upon some practices that have helped us enjoy our life and marriage, and we want to share our thoughts with you. **

If you missed any of the earlier posts, you can catch them all here!

I Choose You: Introduction

I Choose You: Intentional

I Choose You: Chronicles

I Choose You: Help

I Choose You: Optimism

I Choose You: Openness

I Choose You: Sacred

I Choose You: Exciting

I Choose You: Yoked

I Choose You: Only

I Choose You: Understanding

I Choose You - Works For You