I Choose You: Intentional

Welcome back for the first official day of our "I Choose You" blog mini-series! Before we hop in to that, it's podcast Tuesday, so here's a fresh round of stories for you! Enjoy!

Listen here!

And now...on to I Choose You. If you missed the introduction yesterday, you can read it to see what these next few days will be about! Today's post is all about the I, which stands for intentional.

If you're married (or have been in a relationship for a long time), do you remember the days when you were first dating and you could not spend enough time together? If you're single right now, are you looking forward to the days when you have someone to share special moments with? 

Ryan and I have not forgotten those early days of our own relationship. (We actually aren't sure how we managed to stay up so late every single night before finally saying goodbye and returning to our respective homes. We seriously survived on an average of four hours of sleep - sometimes less - in that season.)

Those were fun days. We planned all kinds of dates for each other! (The top picture is from our first date, which was a whole day's adventure planned entirely by Ryan. The middle picture is from the day we officially declared we were an exclusive couple, and I'd planned our adventures that day.) 

We texted incessantly when we couldn't talk out loud and were on the phone or together in person the rest of the time. We counted down hours and minutes until we could see each other. So sappy, but so fun!

We celebrated milestones and anniversaries. (I even threw a half-birthday-party for Ryan because we hadn't been together on his birthday, and I didn't want to wait until the next birthday to celebrate him!)

We started establishing our own inside jokes, which totally cracked us up, even if no one else had a clue what was so funny!

You know what all those examples represent? Being intentional. We lived a crazy life back in those days. I lived in one town, Ryan lived in another town, and we each worked in two other cities. When we arrived at our jobs each morning, we were 105 miles apart. I had a long commute, he had different work hours on different days, and we were both often busy working weekends. Seeing each other and investing in this new relationship of ours took intentionality. And we loved each other so much, we were glad to make whatever sacrifices we had to make in order to see each other, talk when we were far apart, and foster this budding relationship. 

As we've observed marriages together in the last five years, we've both noticed that the whole being intentional thing tends to fade quickly after marriage for a lot of couples.

Maybe they get busy, maybe they get lost in the convenience of just being together without making a lot of effort, or maybe they think it no longer matters, but it seems way too many of them put their desire to show love on the back burner and let other things become more important. 

It makes us sad!

We think it's so important to continue being intentional, even after you're married! (Maybe it's even more important then!)

We acknowledge that your intentional doesn't have to look like our intentional. Most people think we go overboard, because we tend to make a celebration out of e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. We aren't embarrassed about it, because this is how we choose to show love to each other. Sometimes we're extravagant in our intentional displays, and sometimes we're simple about it. Either way, the main point for us is being intentional in conveying love to one another.

Here are some of our favorite ways to intentionally show love:

* We hold hands whenever we can. (In the car, during prayer, walking through the mall, while watching TV...you name it!)

* We plan weekly date nights that are reserved for just the two of us. 

* Ryan always brings me my first cup of coffee in the morning.

* We take turns thinking up date ideas and sometimes even surprise one another with an idea we've found.

* We send "I love you" and "I miss you" texts throughout the day - and we also say I love you out loud about 150 times a day.

* We reserve important days to be present in each others' big moments. (Birthdays, surgeries, work events, etc.)

* We observe our monthiversary every single month (64 months and counting!) and always try to do something special, even if it's little, like getting cupcakes or lattes.

* We write notes to each other anytime we have to be apart overnight, so we have mail to open while we're separated. (Also, we try really hard not to be apart overnight.)

* Ryan says he feels loved through the way I maintain our home - planning and cooking our meals and taking care of the happenings of the house while he's at work.

* We surprise each other with treats on hard days. (Sometimes I'll take Ryan a donut or latte at work if I know he's having a hard day, and sometimes he will come home with a Frosty for me!)

* We exercise together and encourage each other when we're tired and want to quit. Like after the treats!

* We make sure we actually talk to one another every day. It's about more than just sitting in the same room staring at the same television or looking at our respective computers. We tell each other stories about our days and ask questions about what's happening in our adventures.

Hopefully those ideas will get you started in thinking about how you can intentionally show love to your spouse (or give you ideas you can store away for someday)! 

One of our favorite keys to showing love is to choose to be intentional  on the good and bad days, through the easy and hard times, and in the beautiful and ugly parts of life!

Catch the introduction and the remaining posts in the series right here!

I Choose You: Day One - Introduction
I Choose You: Day Two - Intentional
I Choose You: Day Three - Chronicles
I Choose You: Day Four - Help

I Choose You: Day Five - Optimism
I Choose You: Day Six - Openness
I Choose You: Day Seven - Sacred
I Choose You: Day Eight - Exciting
I Choose You: Day Nine - Yoked
I Choose You: Day Ten - Only
I Choose You: Day Eleven - Understanding
I Choose You: Day Twelve - Works for You