I Choose You: Only

We are almost done! Can you believe it? Also - can you believe that in a ten letter phrase, there are three o's? We've made it to the last one today, and in our acrostic, this O stands for only.

Years ago, when I was very new in my job, I worked with a guy who left quite an impression on me, and not in the way anyone should want to leave an impression. He was older than I (though I'm a terrible judge of age and I'm fairly certain now that he wasn't nearly as old as I thought he was), and he tended to treat women with a bit of disdain. It didn't particularly bother me that he didn't treat me well, but it made me furious to hear how he talked about his wife.

Looking back on some of the things he said, I realize he was probably all talk. (I'm pretty sure he overcompensated for his own lack of self-esteem by being a big talker.) But whether or not that's true, he certainly gave the impression that he wasn't warm and fuzzy to his wife. In fact, he flat out told me one day that he didn't often tell her he loved her. He'd told her that the day he married her, he said, so she should know it.

WHAT?!

Again - perhaps it was all talk, but what a terrible thing to say to an impressionable young lady hoping for great things in love and marriage!

Suffice it to say, we do not run Shafferland that way.

In fact, we tell each other we love each other about 1500 times a day. It's one of the many ways we are purposeful in saying you are the only one for me.

We've been married almost 65 months now, you know, and people still tell us all the time that it seems like we're stuck in the honeymoon phase. Best. News. Ever. If they're still telling us that after 25 years of marriage, I'll be thrilled!

A few weeks ago, when we were at church one Sunday, a gentleman we didn't know came up to us and introduced himself. He explained he'd been the photographer at the wedding of a couple from our small group, and as soon as he said that, we realized why he looked familiar! He told us he wanted to pay us a compliment, and of course, we were listening! :)

He asked how long we'd been married, and when we told him, he said, "Well, I watched you two at the wedding, and I could tell by the way you looked at each other, you truly love each other. I don't often see that kind of look from people who have been married a while, and I just wanted to tell you you're doing a good job!"

Day. Made.

(Here are two pictures he took of us at that wedding.)

We figure if someone who photographs weddings took notice of our love for each other, we must be accomplishing at least one of our goals! And it brought joy to us, because we really want our marriage to be an example to others of how great marriage can be!

Because both of us brought heart-hurts into our marriage, we make a point to often say to the other, "You at the only one I want...for always." This has been a huge source of healing for me, particularly, because in all earlier seasons of my life, I'd been a pretty jealous person in my relationships. I didn't like it when other women showed attention to the guys I dated, because that made me worry. (Sometimes that worry was warranted!) Through a combination of God's grace and Ryan's intentional words, that's not a worry I've ever had in our relationship. Not for even half a second.

Say. The. Words.

They are important. They're even important past the wedding day. They're especially important past the wedding day. It is easy to assume your spouse knows you choose them and they're the only one for you, but say it anyway. This is a love-gift of words that can go a long way in keeping love alive and well long after the wedding at!



If you've missed the other posts in this series and want to catch them, here's the list!

I Choose You: Introduction
I Choose You: Intentional
I Choose You: Chronicles
I Choose You: Help
I Choose You: Optimism
I Choose You: Openness
I Choose You: Sacred
I Choose You: Exciting
I Choose You: Yoked
I Choose You: Only
I Choose You: Understanding
I Choose You - Works For You