Grace...Is Now

One of my favorite parts of each morning is scrolling through the posts "on this day" from all my years on Facebook. I enjoy seeing what I've been up to over the past few years and watching my journey. You know how all the versaries make me so happy, so to see them neatly organized for me while I drink my coffee and plan my day is about the best thing ever.

Yesterday, the thought I shared "on this day" in 2010 included words to Selah's Unredeemed song. "Life breaks and falls apart, but we know these are places where grace is soon to be so amazing. {Would love to know when the SOON part hits...}"

I remember 2010. Yes. Life indeed breaks and falls apart, and I was in the throes of it that month. And I had heard just about all I could bear of hang in there and all things work together for good and all the other good Christian answers. I knew they were true. I just couldn't bear them when I wanted an actual date and a time of when grace would soon be so amazing.

Anyone there today?

We've ached for some of our friends so much lately. People our very own age, losing spouses to cancer. When I think about them and I consider my own dreams for Shafferland, and all the items on our bucket list yet to be crossed off, I can't imagine knowing the whole list itself could be crossed off because of an ugly disease.

One of my friends wrote to ask me to pray for her husband because something was not right and they were hoping for answers soon, and before she even wrote me with the answer, she wrote to tell me he was gone. My jaw dropped clear to the floor when I read that email.

Life breaks and falls apart. Oh yes it does.

And in 2010, mine broke and fell apart, and I'm pretty sure some pieces rolled so far away that I never found them. The only sufficient answer, I felt, was for a guarantee of a specific time when it would all be fixed and I could do things like smile and breathe and eat more than four chips at once.

{Be careful what you wish for on that chip thing.}

For me, the grace I was seeking the most came two years later when Ryan entered my life. But let me tell you...there were buckets of grace poured over me even before he became part of my days.

Grace was amazing when I got the job at WBCL. Grace was amazing when I published my book. But you know what else? Grace was amazing when I opened my eyes every morning.

I didn't see it as grace then. I saw it as another day to be endured. But it was grace. Grace kept me going when my heart wanted to die. Grace urged my co-workers to cover for me when all I could do was sit at my desk and cry...when working wasn't an option. Grace sent friends to drag me out of the house and make me participate in something. Anything. Grace shuffled songs on a radio playlist so I heard every lyric I needed to in the right moment. Grace ordained sermons and devotions on pages of books published decades ago.

All grace.

Grace was amazing much sooner than I recognized it as such.

And so it is for you. If life is breaking and falling apart, and you just want to shake my shoulders and scream "WHEN? WHEN IS GRACE SOON TO BE SO AMAZING? TELL ME!"

Now.

Right.

Now.

Look. It's there. All grace.