Easter Sunday, April 8, 2007

This past Monday, our Ladies’ Bible Study talked a little bit about grace. It was all part of last chapter in the book we were studying, but it caused me to look up the word in the dictionary just to see what it really means. Among the definitions, I found the following: a sense of what is fitting…favor…unconstrained and undeserved divine favor or goodwill.

And this week I received a little taste of grace. So much grace, in fact, that I had to shake my head just a bit.

Most of you know that I was in the Marion Easter Pageant for 23 years. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how much I miss it and the completion it brought to my Easter season each year. Well, I had seen an advertisement that this past Wednesday, there would be an “Easter Pageant Sing” at a church in town. There would be a choir and orchestra playing the music of the pageant. So I made mental plans to attend.

Wednesday was a disastrous day…one of those days when nothing goes as planned, including the thirty degree weather two days after summer-like temps teased us. I couldn’t get out of work on time, I had many errands to run, and every imaginable setback seemed to hit me. I had a coupon for Fashion Bug that expired that day and I was determined to use it, no matter what. So as I scoured the store for a suitable Easter dress (more on that next week), I watched the hands on the clock scoot closer to seven – which was when the music was scheduled to start.

I dashed out to my car shortly after 6:45 and almost went straight home. I was tired, cold, and hungry, and by this time, I just knew the church would be packed. Besides, I was alone, and I hate going to things alone. But yet I felt nudged to at least drive by the church. Just to see. So I pointed my car in the direction of the church and started driving. As I pulled up alongside the building, I could see the parking lot was completely full and the side streets were starting to fill. It wasn’t the best part of town – and did I mention it was cold? I started to just zoom on past and head home when I saw the nose of a police car just two blocks ahead. Well if I have to take my pick between cops and cold, I’ll take the cold. I made a quick turn into the parking lot – to avoid the cop if nothing else. Just as I pulled in, the car in the second parking space left.

By this time, I was getting the distinct impression that God wanted me at this thing. So I parked, went in, and found dozens of empty seats. Apparently the cars were all the choir and orchestra people. I found a nice aisle seat near the back and settled in to listen to the music. Much to my delight, they not only had music, but they had a video of the Pageant as well! It seemed to me that I’d remembered talk of a taping years ago, so I searched the screen for a short version of myself. Couldn’t find me. Then I saw myself – but I was all grown up! When had they done a taping since I’d been an adult?

As the music played on, though, I realized just how significant this was about to be for me. In this taping, I was playing the one part that had a monumental impact on my spiritual life. Here it is as I wrote it a few years ago:

I chose a new part in the pageant. I wanted a change of scenery, and the part needed filled, so I took it…Really, the part wasn’t much different from my old part. Wander around…fill empty spots…make sure you don’t get in anyone’s way. But there was that one tiny part that was a spotlight of sorts. I was to sit on a bench with the little boy who played my son, and watch the man who played Jesus walk through the crowd and greet people. As he came closer to me, the disciples were to gather around him, drape a royal purple robe around his shoulders and bow to him, signifying that he was the “king.” The man who played Jesus was to look at the robe, shake his head, remove the robe, turn, place it around my (and my son’s) shoulders and make a gesture that said something to the effect of “honor the poor and needy…not me.” And then the pageant was to go on, and I was back to spot-filling.

During the first performance, when everyone was in costume for the first time, that little one minute part became one of the most significant moments of my spiritual life. I was overacting a little, trying to be as “into” my part as I could be. I leaned forward on the bench, trying to see everything, and then when the disciples put the robe around his shoulders, I found myself looking down to the ground. Not because the spotlight was too bright in my eyes, but because I realized that I felt in the way by being that close to such an important group of people and an important moment. Then I realized he was removing the robe and I saw it swing around my shoulders. I looked up and made eye contact with him for one moment…just long enough to see a slight smile from him, and then his gesture, which said to me, “Look at her. I know all about her. I know why she’s looking at the floor…why she doesn’t feel important enough or worthy enough to be a part of this moment. But I am choosing her. I love her. She is worth not only enough for me to give her this symbol of royalty, but enough for me to keep right on walking, even when I know that when I get to the end of this road, there will be a cross waiting there for me, and I will have to die on it. But I will do that…for her.”

I can’t prove it without hauling out all the journals (and frankly I’m much too tired) but I am fairly certain that the performance on the screen that night was this very performance. I had tears in my eyes just watching it and remembering how God met me there on the bench by the well. I even muttered under my breath, “I wish I could buy this taping!”

At the end of the music, they announced that DVDs and CDs of the performance were for sale. Don’t you know I was the first one in line!

I watched the Pageant a couple of times this weekend. I even stopped and watched that part in slow motion – just to see the look as my eyes met His and His heart met mine.

Wednesday night went from being a night of disaster to a night of grace. A night when God sensed what was fitting and sent unconstrained favor my way – from planting a cop to force me into the parking lot, to clearing a space for me, to leaving an aisle seat in the back just for me. I can imagine that up in Heaven, He had a huge smile as He sat back and waited for me to realize that the night I’ve remembered so clearly was actually captured on film and I could have my own copy. God knows that little things like that make me happy. What a great Easter gift!