Sunday, April 29, 2007

At the beginning of the year, I told you about my list of 25 covenants and commitments I made with God. The ladies of my Bible study have been hearing more about that list – and doing their best to hide smiles at some of the sillier ones…like my commitment to floss every day or my commitment to clean my house once a week. But this past week, I was able to cross off the list one rather big accomplishment.

I went on a personal retreat.

Let me explain how that one was born. Last year I was in a short term small group that studied the book Every Woman’s Battle. At the end of the book, the author, Shannon Etheridge, challenged her readers to take at least one personal retreat every year. Shannon’s view is that every woman, regardless of age, income, marital status, or number of children, should take at least a day every year to go away from her home and experience a time of retreat and refreshment.

So I decided to try it. Back in January, I called a hotel up in Amish country and booked a room. And for the last four months, I’ve been praying about what I should do while gone. What did God want to say to me? What did I need to learn? What should be my focus? I needed a theme. (I know…I know…OCD even about a retreat.)

I kept coming back to the book of Song of Solomon. Great. That’s all I needed. Hidden away in a hotel room reading the most controversial book of the Bible. But I felt very strongly that God wanted to teach me more about the love He has for me…a love I though I knew about…but maybe I didn’t know as much as I thought.

A few weeks ago, while listening to the radio, I heard an author interviewed…a woman whose works I’d not read. Her name is Lisa Harper, and she recently wrote a Bible study book on Song of Solomon. I decided to purchase the book and read it while I was gone. And I’m so glad I did. This woman is like a long lost sister. (I have two wonderful not-lost sisters…but if I had a lost one…this would be her.) Reading her book was like reading my own journal. I completely connected with her approach to Bible study, life, and love.

The book “Song of Solomon” – as I learned it in my King James upbringing – is called “Song of Songs” in the NIV and some other versions of the Bible. The footnote in my study Bible said that it’s called “Song of Songs” because it represents the best of the best. The best song Solomon wrote…or perhaps the best love song of all time. And I went away this weekend with the desire to make my relationship with God a “song of songs.”

Last year I taught a whole Bible study based on Dee Brestin and Kathy Troccoli’s book Falling in Love with Jesus. Last fall, I spoke at a women’s retreat and used that same theme again. You would think I had a bit of a handle on this whole “loving Jesus” thing. But this weekend, I learned in a new way that I really didn’t have a clue about how much He actually loved me.

All the parts of who I am (inside and out) that I find quirky…even annoying…He loves. And He’s been sitting around waiting for me to decide to love that part of me too.

I had imagined that the weekend would contain at least one blaze of light moment where angels would sing and a giant organ chord would sound somewhere. That didn’t happen. I wasn’t disappointed…just surprised. (I love moments of brilliance.) But I found that moments of quiet affirmation and understanding actually infiltrate the soul and last much longer than a major moment…which eventually fades and is forgotten.

So I have returned…seemingly ready to reenter the world and its wacky normalcy. I suppose reporting for duty in the morning will confirm or deny how much of this retreat actually embedded itself in my heart.

I’m glad I took Shannon’s advice and tried the retreat. I think God takes much delight in anyone’s effort to get closer to Him and hear His voice. I think He blesses those sorts of attempts.

If you’ve never done anything like that, I highly recommend that you try it at least once. It could be just the rejuvenation your heart needs!