SSMT: Verse 10

Yesterday was a new SSMT verse day again. Seriously. Where did the first half of May GO!?!?!!? I am late in posting this here because, of course, yesterday was weekly recap day.

My life, right now, is in what I like to call pleasant upheaval. Nothing bad is happening. I'm fine. (Please do not call my parents to see if I'm okay. I really am.) But so much is happening and I can barely make sense of most of it. I've long given up trying to figure out what God is doing as He moves. So right now, my MO is to hang on for dear life and fly through each day.

This verse came to me this week as I was actually studying another verse around it. But when I prayed for a new verse to focus on right now, God drew me to this:

Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed,

you would see the glory of God?"

John 11:40

I have to tell you why this verse means so much to me right now.

Last summer, I read Angie Smith's book, I Will Carry You. God ordained it that I would read that book right around the time my relationship with Isaac crashed for the final time. And to be honest, there were a lot of things about that ordained time that I still don't understand. But I learned to trust that in HIS time, He'd reveal the answers.

This week I encountered a devo that brought me back to the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, which is the section of Scripture Angie's book also follows - as she tells her own story of grief. She talked about this particular verse, and God urged me to believe Him for the healing and restoration of my relationship - which I did.

With everything in me.

Even when I stood alone.

Obviously, you know Isaac chose to walk away, and I was left - have been left, all these months later - to wonder what God meant for me when He urged me through the words of Angie's book - to believe that His glory would be shown.

I think He's beginning to show me.

Jesus said right away Did I not tell you?

Um....Jesus said that to me this week. I have to say, it's not particularly a phrase I like, because I know it's offered as a gentle (yet loving) rebuke. And yet better to be rebuked by the Creator than not have a relationship with Him at all.

A week ago today, as I drove home from my outing with Kristin, I was pouring my soul before the Lord, and He said this to me. (This is my first act of bravery to write this, as I have no idea if Isaac still reads my blog and this is one of those things that makes me nervous for him to see if he does. But I can't change that it was impressed upon my heart this way, so I can't withhold it out of nervousness. Here goes.) Stop saying "When I lost Isaac." You didn't lose Isaac. Isaac lost you. And you need to start looking at it that way. And furthermore, you need to take care that your own actions don't cost you a similar loss in your future.

Gulp.

And as would be the case in the land of Bekah-can't-possibly-learn-the-easy-way, by Friday night, I was sprawled out on the bed before the Lord, confessing that my own Bekah-ness...my own actions...my own decision to succumb to paralyzing fear and Satan's schemes...had very possibly cost me a good friend. One thing I've learned from my mentor, Lara, is that you have to learn to own what you do. Don't blame it. Own it. So I pulled out the journal, and with tears on my cheeks, I wrote, "I hurt over the apparent loss of a good friend. I'm sorry, Father."

And I heard, Did I not tell you? Yes. Yes You did and You were right.

He did tell me, but He was also merciful to me, and a short time later, I was able to have a conversation with that friend and find out that I hadn't ruined everything. Don't think that I take the second chance lightly.

So I know the did I not tell you is reliable. And because of that, I have to believe the rest as well. If I continue to believe Him, I'll see His glory. I have much that I need to believe Him about right now. Many questions. Much uncertainty. He's not asking me to figure it out. He's not asking me for a spreadsheet with solutions and timelines. He's asking me to simply believe. And in return, He promises I'll see His glory. Maybe not in the way I thought I would. But I'll see it. And I need to know that.

It's the Weekly Recap!

* Last Sunday was Mother's Day, and as you already read, I hosted the family dinner. I always feel like I've arrived when I'm the host of a family dinner. All grown up! I was glad my sister and aunt could join us - and the day also served as the opening event to birthday season!



Sunday night, Miss Jamie Bennett stopped by to see me on her way through town and surprised me with a caramel macchiato from Starbucks...and a birthday present! She gave me a book I've heard much about but had not ever read: Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. (It's a daily devo book; each day's reading is very brief.) I started reading it that very night and immediately found its timing to be perfectly ordained. THANK YOU, JAMIE!!

* Monday I took the day off work and went to Indianapolis to hang out with Kristin. We went to Chick-Fil-A (praise the Lord!) and she took me to the most darling little hole-in-the-wall ice cream joint in Noblesville, where I ate this waffle bowl full of delicious ice cream. I forget the exact name of it, but it was peanut butter ice cream with itty bitty buckeyes in it. (Think moose tracks, but with peanut butter ice cream and the buckeyes instead of the Reese cups.)

* Tuesday evening I assembled a dinner to take to our youth pastor and his wife, who just had their second baby. Because I live a distance from them, I wasn't sure what to take that would be ready pretty quickly after work on Wednesday. I came up with...breakfast for dinner! I put together the Amish Breakfast casserole in a disposable pan, added a loaf of pumpkin bread, some fruit dip, strawberries and grapes. I was kind of hungry for it myself by the end of the cooking fest!
* Wednesday was pretty uneventful. I successfully delivered the dinner, and then I came home to make this little bit of deliciousness...Twix Bars! I will post the recipe soon. For now, I'll just say Oh. My. Word. * Thursday, on the other hand, was very eventful! I had lunch with a former co-worker, Natalie, who now lives out of state. An hour wasn't quite enough time to catch up, but we still had fun. Then, of course, I had the book club speaking engagement that you already read about, and then Rachel came over to watch Grey's with me. I shared my ice cream cake with her and someone thought she should have some too... * Friday was l.o.n.g. An eight hour day that seemed to last about twenty. The highlight of the day was receiving birthday balloons at work! But you already saw that. And then after the day that wouldn't end, there weren't enough hours in the evening to get it all done. Of course.

* Yesterday was my birthday! I will tell you more about it next week, but I spent the day in Indianapolis with my friend Cara. We had so much fun, and among the fun activities: I got a free cupcake at The Flying Cupcake - because it was my birthday! I felt so loved yesterday; can't even tell you how much! Books I'm Reading: My devos have taken a different turn from the norm this year, but I'm still reading Sparkling Gems from the Greek and have added my new mini-devo of Jesus Calling. I almost finished reading Jody Hedlund's novel The Preacher's Bride - and am absolutely loving it. If you like fiction, check it out. I am so proud of her! Good job, Jody!! And finally, I read in the first chapter in a six chapter Bible study that I'm going to be doing with Marie. It's from the Women of Faith Bible Study Series and is called Entrusting Your Dreams to God - A Study on Hannah.

Favorite God Moment of the Whole Week: I was at work one day this week when an emailed devo came across my desk. I started to just delete it but felt compelled to read it and when I did, God unleased an epiphany on me that felt so healing. I loved it. I want to blog about it but feel I still ahve to sort through more of it first.

Update on Last Week's Goals: Second slump in a row. SO close to finishing Jody's book but I ran out of energy to read last night! Still don't have that writing project done. I got sidetracked by other writing projects. Shame on me. Did spend much time in prayer about my upcoming decisions and feel perfectly at peace about each one.

Goals for the Coming Week: Must, must must finish that tiny writing project. Third time's a charm. It will happen this week. Also want to get my scrapbook caught up this week. May has been a busy month and I've just not had time to sit and scrap. Weather-permitting, I'd also like to do a little cleanup work outside.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday! Last year on this day, I woke up in Virginia Beach and met the ocean for the first time. This year is a little scaled back compared to that, but I'm still excited about it!

I've already done some celebrating, though, so I thought I'd share that with you.

Last Sunday I celebrated with my family. Mom brought an ice cream cake (YUM!!!) to our Mother's Day lunch. When I got it out of the freezer, I thought it said, "Happy birthday, Sarah."I was trying to figure out who Sarah was and why I had her cake. Turns out I just can't read.
I'm also out of candles, so I had to just pretend.

PRESENTS!! This one was from my sister, Julie. Back when I had the March Pancakes with the Princess (with the Hancock family) I got out my plastic dishes for the kids to use. Savannah said, "My plate is dirty." Of course, it wasn't...but it was so old and scratched up that it looked dirty. So I decided this was the year to replace the summery plastic dishes. I bought super cute blue and green polka dotted ones, and Julie gave me some really cute serving trays to use with them.

And these napkins: "What part of Princess don't you understand?"

Mom and Dad gave me the glasses to match my dishes...and a gift card to Lowe's. :) I have big plans for that thing.

Ohhhh Rachel is going to kill me for posting this picture. She thinks she looks like an 80's workout girl. I don't think so. But anyway. Thursday she came into my office with a present...a book on writing about life. I'm SO excited to read this book because I think it's going to be extremely helpful as I work on my latest project.


And Friday, Miss Marie had these delivered to my office!

I LOVED them. The card said "Birthdays really DO start on Friday even if you are at work." Love that girl! (By the way - I consider work deliveries to be one of life's greatest treasures. So if you ever want to get on my good side REALLY quickly - there's one way to do it.)

I have to share this with you, too. About 10:30 last night, I was grocery shopping, and as I walked past the cupcakes, I thought, Oh...what a great birthday treat that would be. Oh my goodness. My birthday is in just a little over an HOUR! It just didn't feel like a birthday, for no good reason.

But about 11:30, my sweet mentor, Lara, started texting me. And every five minutes for that half hour, she'd count it down with me. I loved it. It started to feel like a real birthday! And here's what she texted me at midnight, which I just adored: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! It's your birthday! How little did I know how blessed I was on this DAY! Thank you God for Rebekah! Now if that doesn't just start a birthday out with a bang, I don't know what will.

So there you have it! My birthday so far. I can't wait for next week, when I can show you the events of today. I'm so excited about them. :)

My First Book Club Dinner

*Thank you, Blogger, for FINALLY coming back up. I missed you! Today's post is, as a result, very late, but it's here. And if you were the nice person who left me a comment on yesterday's car wash post, can you leave it again? I saw I had one but because of Blogger's issues, I couldn't read it and now it's gone. Sadness. Okay. On to today's business.*

Doesn't it just sound so fun to say you're in a book club?

I'm not in a book club.

But I was invited to speak at one last night! One of the members of the Fairmount Book Club heard me speak at the IWU Staff Council Luncheon back in December, and she emailed me a few weeks ago to see if I'd be willing to speak at the May meeting of the club. Well, of course!

The meeting was held at the Hostess House:
Kind of reminds me of my house! Okay, maybe not. If you're not from around here, you can't possibly appreciate the goodness that is the Hostess House. It's this old historic home where you can have little tea-room-esque lunches. They also host group events in the evenings and will even do wedding receptions and such.

We had a fantastic dinner. Chicken salad (happiness) and fresh fruit and lemon poppyseed bread. Fortunately I didn't get stopped on the way home. I'd have tested positive for opium. :) And carrot cake for dessert. (HEY - serving of vegetables!!)

After dinner, the leader said, "And Rebekah, we'll let you entertain us now." No pressure. :)

I thought I'd begin my entertainment with a little opera. A little Nessun Dorma.
I'm kidding, of course. But it kind of looks like that's what I'm doing, don't you think?

There were 20 ladies in attendance and they were delightful. They paid attention, acted interested, laughed in all the appropriate places, and put me very much at ease.

While my planned talk was supposed to be mostly serious, it's virtually impossible for me to keep it entirely serious. There were many stories to be told...and they seemed to love them all.

Always a flare for the dramatic.

Since I was speaking to lovers of the written word, I spoke about how our lives are stories...and how God delights when we embrace the plan He's written for our days...the good along with the bad.

I'll leave you with a little excerpt of what I said...but before I do that, thank you so much, Fairmount Book Club, for inviting me to spend the evening with you. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and sharing with you.

The words themselves work in us in ways we sometimes can’t understand…but we love the way they transform us.

But what I’m growing to understand more and more…and love…is that we’re all living a story. Each day, we live a new page…and just like the books we are drawn to, our lives are filled with heroes and villains, cliffhangers and resolutions, tears and laughter, questions and answers, heartache and healing, love and hate.

I want to encourage you to love your story as you live it every day. Rejoice in knowing that He has crafted each scene with great care and deepest love. And He is honored when we choose to embrace this life-gift with reckless abandon.

Car Wash Drama

I posted a couple of days ago about my only-Bekah talents, one of which was getting stuck in a car wash.

Twice.

I had a request to elaborate on that story...so I bring you...the elaboration.

The first time, I very clearly remember, happened on a New Year's Day. I don't remember which one. I'd gone shopping in Kokomo with my mom, who mentioned that my car really could use a wash.

So we went to this little car wash behind a gas station. A car was inside when I pulled up, so I maneuvered my tires into the tracks (which is honestly my least favorite part of any car wash experience) and rolled up to the little token/payment machine.

I put in my dollar.

It spit it out.

(Reread the last two sentences about six times.)

I found another dollar...same thing...a few more times.

By this time a truck had pulled in (and by that I mean he was also secured in the tracks) behind me, and I was stuck.

Literally stuck. I couldn't even open my door because of the token machine. Happy New Year!

Mom crawled out her side (Mr. Truck was, I'm sure, at this point regretting his decision to start off the new year with a clean vehicle) and traipsed into the gas station to find out what might be wrong.

Turns out the cash portion of the machine was broken. Apparently they thought they'd posted a sign but maybe it blew away. Maybe? Mom paid for a token, brought it back to the car, crawled back inside...and off we went into the land of clean cars.

Lesson learned on that one. Don't go to a car wash with a long track.

So the next time (which was a good 2 or so years later) I went to a car wash, I again took someone with me...I think it was Dad that time...and went to a little car wash over here by my house.

I pulled up to the automatic wash door, prayed over my dollar bills, and put them in the machine. It gobbled them right up and the light ahead turned green.

That's when I saw them.

Tracks.

My nemesis.

I felt my car jolt into them and the spray began (which is actually my favorite part of a car wash). I rolled slowly through the wash, enjoying every moment, and when I reached the end, the light turned green for me to exit.

I stepped on the gas. The engine revved and I went nowhere.

I checked my gear. Yep, it was in drive!

I pressed the gas again, a little harder this time. Nothing.

It's not possible that this is happening to me again!! I thought.

Just a few short feet in front of me was a wooden privacy fence, and I knew on the other side was someone's back yard.

Super. I'll press on the gas and go flying through the fence and into someone's evening barbecue.

I prayed hard, floored the gas and my car squealed out of the track with a huge jerk. I slammed on the brakes and managed to miss the fence.

And in case you're wondering, Jesus washes my car now. I'm done with automatic washes.

A Post for the Mama

By special request....of my mother...I bring you this post.

As you may or may not remember, I've attended four childbirths in my life. (Same family - four kids.) During childbirth #2 and its accompanying 21 hours of labor, I spent a lot of time staring at a sign in the hospital room. It had a variety of faces drawn on it and below each, the explanation of what said face meant. This was supposed to help us interpret our laboring friend. (Personally I just took my cues from the degree of hand squeezing and the intensity of the crying, but I can see how cartoon faces could be of assistance.)

My Mom has mentioned that I have a variety of facial expressions and wanted me to do a post on the many faces of Bekah. So...in case you aren't sure what they mean, I thought I'd give you a little guide.
1. HELP!!! (Seen most often when touring the south of Florida in my bathing suit without my ID.)

2. Now listen here, Missy!!!!

3. Check THIS out! (Meaning the pen. Come on, people.)

4. Oh look! I've gotten myself in yet another awkward situation so I'll just laugh my way out of it!

5. So close.

6. YUM!!!!!!!

7. Rebel in action. Don't tell.

8. Please don't let me kill anyone.

9. Whew.

10. Watch it, buster.

11. What's my next line????

12. Can I have another one of those brownies??? (That will only be meaningful to you if you remember the story from Jonathan and Austin's open house.)

13. Brrrrrr.

14. Shoveling is for the birds.

15. Are you KIDDING ME????!?!!?!?!?!!!!!!!

16. It's a good little day.

17. Please don't make me go.

18. This is a bad idea.

19. Don't mess with me. I haven't percolated yet.

20. Seriously?

21. Focusing......focusing....

22. Fear.

30 Days of You and Me: Day Nineteen

* I interrupt my post to share a link with you. I don't normally do news story links because...I don't normally read the news! But someone posted this link on Facebook and I thought it was a "good" piece of news, so I wanted to share it. It's about a former IWU student who now teaches music at a struggling, low-income school in Indianapolis. They've been invited to sing at Carnegie and the article is about the massive financial obstacle they face. I remember this student, Spencer. He spent a lot of time in our office talking to our secretary. Great guy. I'm proud to read about the work he's doing, and I think you'll like it too! Okay...back to day 19. *

It's been so busy here in Bekahland that it's been a while since I wrote a 30 days post! Alas, we've hit a slow spot in the happenings of life, so I bring you day nineteen: a talent of mine.

My talents are many. Most of them are not things that will earn me much (okay, any) money nor will I win an award for them. But they are many.

I have a talent for being a giant embarrassment to myself. Say...for instance...when I was shopping in Penney's yesterday and my giant Mary Poppins purse whacked a mannequin as I walked past. I instinctively reached out to steady her and, well, let's just say I grabbed a really inappropriate location. Super. Right there in the main aisle of the store with dozens of shoppers milling about...I felt up a mannequin. And a headless one at that.

I have a talent for saying things that make me want to amputate my own tongue. I don't remember if I blogged this when it happened, but within the last few weeks at work, I got ahead of myself while talking to a parent on the phone at work. I needed to put him on hold while I checked something and this is what came flying out of my mouth: "Hold on just a secs." (Say that out loud for its full effect.) Good grief.

I have a talent for being a complete klutz. A couple of weeks ago I tripped over an ice cube in my kitchen. That's pretty special, Bekah.

I have a talent for finding myself in some interesting predicaments. Like the time I got my car stuck in a car wash. Oh wait. That happened twice.

And then there are my real talents. You know...like writing and scrapbooking...cooking and hospitality...giving backrubs and listening to my friends' stories. The things that make me...me.

So that's me! What about you? Do you share any of my extra special talents? :) Please, oh please if you've tripped over an ice cube, you have to tell me!

Mother's Day

Yesterday was, of course, Mother's Day. I always try to spend the day making it up to my Mom for making her go through labor on that one Mother's Day a few years ago. :)

This year my heart was extra sensitive to how fortunate I am to still have my mother here to talk to - even if we do get cantankerous at times. (Not that this would ever happen.) One of my friends recently lost his mom and hearing his perspective on this day made me realize the importance of valuing what I have so I don't live with regrets later.

I hosted the family meal this year, which consisted of hot chicken salad, dinner rolls, fruit and dip, veggies and dip, and cupcakes. I thought it was very colorful; my high school home ec teacher would be proud.
Cut some fresh lilacs from the yard to pair up with the Mother's Day balloons - and that was about the extent of the decorating.

The orange cupcakes were very springy and Mother's-Dayish, but they weren't the greatest. I preferred the frosting.

My sister Julie drove up to have lunch with us, and my Aunt B came too. And of course, Mom and Dad. I told Dad to take off his coat and stay a while but he said he was cold. Sorry. It's May. I refuse to run the heat.

My Mom HATES having her picture taken. How in the world did she get stuck with a Bekah-razzi daughter then? :) This was her solution. I think she lives next door to Tim Taylor.

Her gift from me: flowers. I bought impatiens because I thought they best described both our personalities. HA!

Aunt B, Julie, and Mom - who was, of course, THRILLED at the opportunity for more photos!

I wanted a picture with Mom, so we ended up taking a whole series of them to try to get a good one. She started with her Wilson impersonation again - and here are my thoughts on that.

My favorite of the FIVE takes:

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!!