Growing and Learning

I've been doing a lot of growing and learning lately. I am a pretty scheduled person, as you know, and life with the pink day planner has been...well...under construction.

I've learned things like:

* exercising 3 days a week can be as productive as 5.

* some things are more important than sleep.

* prayer can be exhausting and yet exhilarating at the same time.

* houses should be above the reproach of the health department but not necessarily spotless.

* change is good.

Today I had a conversation about change. I admitted it's tough for me. And it is. But it's also beautiful. When I think back over the last decade...oh how thankful I am that I have changed. I am thankful I don't live in that bondage anymore. I am thankful I have experienced freedom and healing and second chances and beautiful gifts that I don't deserve but am delighted to have.

I hear my mom-friends talk about their kids going through growing pains. Literal physical pain that is necessary for the kids to grow into healthy adults.

Heart growth can create a "pain" too. Sometimes hurt...sometimes just stretching that leads to inexplicable emotion.

But I'm so thankful for it. My heart wells up with joy this evening because while I am exhausted from the stretching, I'm thrilled to go to bed tonight saying "I've learned something today." And while I'm subject to stumble over it again in the future, I can wake up tomorrow and say, "I'm doing better than I was yesterday!"

Thank you, Lord.

Book News!

You all have been very good to be supportive of me in this book journey, and I appreciate that!

In our writing classes in college, the professors told us that writing a book was much like having a baby. A long birthing process.

For me, today, another phase of labor ended. I received an email containing the proofs of the book!

In typical Bekah-fashion, I would like to say...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Seeing that preliminary cover for the first time brought a rush of emotion that I can't quite sort out. It was definitely exciting to see my name and picture...and bio. Loved unveiling the mystery of what the cover would look like. I knew the picture they were working with, but I had no idea what they would do with it. I was pleasantly surprised.

I loved opening the attachment that had the inside design as well. Loved seeing what each page would look like.

I still have some work ahead of me as I look through the pages and make the final tweaks. But it feels real now. I remember the excitement I felt that day back in February when I finished it, burned it onto the CD and put it in the mail. Since then, I've just been waiting (semi-patiently) and now that flood of joy and anticipation has surged again. I love it.

Can't wait to share the design with you!

The Sound of His Voice

I had a conversation with my brother-in-law recently, in which he told me that he had confidence in my connection with the Lord. He told me I know when God is speaking and he trusts that I will know the Voice when I hear it.

Since I have a lot of respect for my brother-in-law, that was a pretty high compliment that I appreciated.

But today I've been challenged to focus on that Voice. This morning I was worried about something and was praying rather...okay, in a panic. And as I drove to work, praying hard, I really sensed a peace settling over my spirit, telling me everything was okay...He had it all under control...and I could stop worrying. And there in my car, I said out loud, "But God, how do I know that's You saying it and not just my own need to make myself feel better right this minute?"

Later, when all was resolved, I knew God was saying, "See, girl? I tried to tell you..."

I know that I know His Voice. And in these past few weeks, I've been more sure of it (in many ways) than I've ever been. But Satan loves to attack me in this area of my life. He knows if he can just get me to doubt a little...fear a little...he's got me and he's got me good.

Instead of going home at lunch, I drove to a park and sat under some beautiful white flowering trees. With the sun shining down its warmth, I spent some good time in prayer. I'm excited with what I heard God say - and I KNOW it's God.

You might remember that a couple of years ago, I spent every Tuesday lunch hour in the prayer chapel here at work, praying hard. I have a feeling that practice might be nudging its way back into my life....

...because I can't afford to doubt His Voice.

Bits for Sunday, April 11

Ohhhhh the adventures.

Life is never dull in Bekahland.

This weekend I had the opportunity to take a little road trip and visit a friend. So I packed up the car, got on an interstate (yes, you read that right!), drove through a city (yes, you read that right too!) and followed directions to my intended destination.

Please let the record show I did not get lost a single time. I thought I did once. I saw a sign that had the road number I needed, so I flipped on the turn signal…and realized I was about to turn into a McDonald’s parking lot. I almost grabbed the phone to call for rescue, but I said to myself, “Rebekah, you are a college educated person. You are certain that the McDonald’s drive thru is NOT a major thoroughfare. If you will keep driving, you will probably find said thoroughfare. Do not call for help when you are going to admit you can’t distinguish a road from a fast food parking lot.” My pep talk must have worked well. I kept driving and found the road.

Now you know me well enough to know I’m a planner-girl. Life goes by the method of the pink day planner, and there are no two ways about it. Whenever I travel, I begin weeks ahead of time researching hotels. I read dozens – sometimes hundreds – of reviews. I pick my pillow based on continental breakfasts, safety levels, and how many floors the buildings have.

This trip was last minute. No time for research. And truthfully, since I wasn’t spending a lot of time at the hotel (other than to actually sleep), I didn’t care about much of anything. If the door locked, the bed didn’t have bugs, and the toilet flushed, it worked for me.

Enter the Motel 6.

I don’t think I’ve stayed at a Motel 6 since I was a kid. But the price was right, the location was good, and I was satisfied. After I did (triple) lock the door behind me the first night, I immediately went in search of the heating/cooling/fan system. I can’t sleep without a fan. I’d considered taking mine from home with me but didn’t. I knew I’d be alone in the room and could crank the fan all I wanted.

Problem.

No fan. No nothing under the window. What!? A hotel without a heating/cooling system under the window? I began to inspect the room. After some time, I found a tiny thermostat box on the wall. I turned on the fan and heard a hissing similar to a gas leak. I refused to let my mind think about THAT and hoped the hissing would suffice as white noise.

I went into the bathroom and flipped on the light to listen for THAT fan to see if it was better. No fan. No fan…and I could hear the people in the hall. That pretty much told me they could hear me too.

I’d been told that the location of the hotel was just on the other side of the time zone change. My cell phone dutifully changed with it, so I began to mentally calculate the difference, but just to be on the safe side, I decided to check the bedside clock.

No clock.

No problem. I had my cell. What I didn’t know was that it was randomly changing back and forth between time zones. Literally from one minute to the next I had no idea which zone it might choose. Allow me to admit it made for one really embarrassing phone call at 5:45 a.m.
But my favorite…favorite…moment came this morning as I got ready for church. I’d plugged in my flat iron and was getting the clothes out…things arranged…teeth brushed…and I smelled something funny. After a couple of moments of not being able to figure it out…I looked down and saw thick, black smoke literally billowing out of the flat iron.

Leave it to me to burn down a motel.

I managed to get it unplugged…waved away the smoke before it could activate the sprinkler system…and said a mournful farewell to my trusty iron.

Let it never be said that life with me is dull!

Hot Chicken Salad

Remember these?? Recipes?? I finally have a new one for you. This is one of the newest recipes I have in my collection, but it was an INSTANT favorite. Hope you love it too!

I first had this dish around Christmas when my friend Marie had some left from a family dinner and brought me a helping because she thought it sounded like something I'd like to eat. Does she know me or WHAT!?!? I immediately asked for the recipe and have made it more than once since!

I'm a big chicken salad fan and love it that this one is extra comforting because it's warm. It also heats up well as a leftover. It's pretty easy to assemble...and you can actually assemble it ahead of time, refrigerate it, and bake it when you're ready, which helps save time!

The Recipe

3 cups chicken, diced
1 can water chestnuts, drained & sliced
1 cup slivered almonds (1 1/2 oz package or smaller)
2 cups celery, chopped
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tbsp lemon juice OR vinegar
1 1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 small can fried onions

Mix all together and bake for 30 minutes at 350 in an 11x7 baking dish.

You will be so proud to know that DESPITE the fact I forgot to buy celery the day I made this, I still took pictures to post the recipe. This is Bekah learning to be less OCD! But I must say...the celery really does add to it. I don't want to make that mistake again! Tip about celery: sometimes when I make a dish that calls for it, I end up throwing out most of the celery because I need just a stalk or two and I end up not eating the rest. Last time, I just bought a little cup of pre-cut celery in water. It was clean and I ended up not throwing away a bunch of food. Worth the little extra bit of cost to purchase.


Sometimes when I make dishes like this, I use canned chicken just to speed it up. This time I decided to boil and chop the chicken myself. I started out with 2 packages of chicken tenders. I prefer cooking with them instead of chicken breasts because they're smaller and cook faster.

I put the chicken in a pot of water and bring it to a boil. I let it boil until it is cooked all the way through (which I find out by checking inside to see if it's still pink). The water gets kind of a scaly white thing on top as it cooks.

Very hot chicken! I pull it out of the water and chop it on the cutting board. I kept the extra pieces of chicken to use on top of salads or in other recipes along the way.

I shredded up the chicken once it cooled a bit.

I'm lazy, so I just measure the chicken in a liquid cup (Home Ec teacher would think I'm a failure, but it works for me) so I can see when I get to the 3 cup mark.

After I drain the water chestnuts, I just chop them up. I don't have the finesse of the Food Network people when I do it, but I do get the job accomplished, thankyouverymuch.

I use the Pampered Chef Measure-All cup to measure the mayo. I do not have the patience to dig it out of regular cups.

I literally dump everything into a big bowl. No rhyme or reason.

I try to stir it up really well so you don't get a bite of all one thing.

Spread it out into the baking dish...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Oh the Adventures

It's been an eventful week here in Bekahland. Here are some of the events, in no particular order.

* Yesterday I had a first at work...I received a business email signed XOXOXO. Financial Aid isn't really an office where we're prone to "feeling the love" so that was kind of a new experience.

* Last night was the first official lawn mowing of the season. I do not love mowing but I do love the smell of freshly cut grass, so it pays off. My "mowing shoes" are always my retired running shoes. I was in such a hurry to get outside to exercise after mowing and before dark that I forgot to change my mowing shoes to my running shoes. This particular pair of shoes became retired because the left heel broke through. Let's just say it was quite an experience to exercise on a broken shoe. (No time to come home and change into the right ones.)

* The reason I was in such a hurry was because in between mowing and working out, I tried to order some pictures online. I just needed pictures of Easter. Six pictures...two copies of each. As I hit "submit" on my order, I noticed I'd somehow...DON'T KNOW HOW...ordered NINETY PHOTOS. Easter was okay but it wasn't 90 pictures good. So I had to scramble to call the store (three times before I got an answer, of course) to cancel that bad boy before it printed.

* This is a great story in full detail but unfortunately my pride/interest in keeping my job prevents me from printing it in its entirety. Yesterday in a conversation with my boss, I COMPLETELY insulted her. Absolutely spoke before stopping to consider how my words would come out. Thank the Lord she has a good sense of humor and just cracked up over both what I said and the horrified look that followed.

* Last night - literally smack in the middle of my broken shoe walk - I developed an ear problem. WHAT?!?! How does that happen? One minute...fine. Next minute, passed a runner, smiled, and thought - OW! My ear hurts! By the time I got home, it was hurting pretty badly and I was starting to get that "I can't hear anything but my own chewing" feeling. I had this a couple of years ago and it took a while for it to go away. So today I began the routine to try to cure it. I do feel better than I did during the day today, when I was basically in excruciating pain. And I'm so over hearing myself chew. ANNOYING.

I think that's about all the adventure I can remember. OH! And I got "snooze" and "off" confused on my alarm this morning. Good thing God bailed me out on that one. :)

Easter!

Sunday was, of course, Easter, and this year our family lunch was at Mom and Dad's house.

Mom made a fabulous fruit dessert, which tasted as good as it looked. I had her pose with it...and of course she talked to me the entire time instead of just smiling at the camera. Sigh. Will she never learn??

Then it was time to turn over the camera TO Mom. She stood in front of Julie and me and literally lunged forward at us to zoom. Hence our laughter.

Photo of the Papa.

This year's Easter dress. I loved it, it fit, AND I could afford it. BINGO!!!!! And I did not have to shop with cross-dressers to get it.

For This I'm Thankful...

If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37:23

Bits for Sunday, April 4

I haven’t shared with you in a while the progress on my book project. Back at the end of February, I submitted it to the publisher I’m using, and since then I’ve been waiting to see a copy of it in the format they’ll use to print it. That may happen even yet this next week! So excited…and so nervous all at the same time.

Odd that an Advent project would be something to talk about at this Easter time, but I’m an advocate of remembering, even at Christmas time, that the point of Jesus’ birth wasn’t just to celebrate a cutesy baby. Jesus was born so He could grow…and minister…and sacrifice His life for ours. So my project goes, as I like to say, “from Mary to Mary.” From Mary His mother to the Mary who went to the tomb Easter morning to find an empty cave before her.

So to celebrate this Easter with you today, I want to share an excerpt from that last chapter of the project. Hope you enjoy!

Mary stood alone outside an empty tomb. She didn’t conceal her tears, nor could she have done so if she’d wanted.

The tears started Friday morning when Pilate sentenced Jesus to death.

The tears intensified Friday afternoon as He breathed His last.

The tears hadn’t stopped all weekend while she waited for the Sabbath to end so she could hurry to the tomb and tend to His body. He deserved a proper burial and she intended to see to it personally that He received it.

But when she arrived at the tomb, His body was gone. Anger had risen in her heart – even in death they couldn’t leave Him alone? These leaders and teachers hadn’t tortured Him enough in life? They had to steal Him in death? Anguish dug even more deeply into her soul as the thoughts swept through her mind once more.

Some of the disciples had been there with her just moments before but they had gone back home. She didn’t know why they left her, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the opening of the tomb that should have held Jesus’ body.

She bent over to look in one more time – wondering if perhaps her eyes had been so blinded by tears that she just didn’t see the Body. Maybe if she looked again, it would be there right where it should be.

Much to her surprise, the tomb was not empty – but it wasn’t because the Body had suddenly appeared. Angels – clothed in white – stood in the tomb. She had heard talk of angels, but she’d never seen them. And yet now they stood before her and even spoke to her.

“Woman, why are you crying?”

Mary felt a little strange talking to angels, but she was desperate for answers. “They have taken my Lord away, and I don’t know where they have put him.”

The hurt and grief rose up so greatly in her heart that she had to turn away. As she turned from the tomb, a man stood before her.

It wasn’t the disciples, returning to be with her. She didn’t know this man. Perhaps he was the gardener. It would make sense. He would want to be out tending to his property after the Sabbath.

He spoke to her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Hadn’t he heard her answer to the angels in the tomb? They had just asked her that very question!

Perhaps she quickly hoped he hadn’t heard her conversation with the angels. After all, maybe she was the only one who could see the angels, and if someone found her conversing with herself, he might think the demons had returned to possess her. And if they did return, she would be stuck with them for life. Jesus wasn’t here to cast them out again.

Mary rushed into an explanation before the gardener could think too much of the situation. She pled with him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” She could understand this man might not want Jesus of Nazareth resting in his tomb for all eternity. Given the way He had died, His presence in that tomb might be inviting trouble for the good gardener. She wouldn’t blame him for wanting the Body gone. But Mary just needed to get to that Body and demonstrate her love by giving it a proper preparation. She realized she had said she would get the Body if he’d just tell her where he had put it. She wasn’t sure how she planned to transport it, but it didn’t matter. She had to find it.

And then The Voice broke into her thoughts.

Mary.

Warm relief encased her heart. It was His Voice. She could hear it. Her memory hadn’t lost the sound of His gentle Voice.

But wait.

It was His voice. Not just memory speaking to her soul.

She turned to face the Man. “Rabboni!” Her teacher had come back. He was here. He wasn’t in the tomb because He wasn’t dead! He was alive! He was touching her hands! He was gripping her arms as her knees buckled beneath her. She grasped tightly to His clothing and held onto Him in a grip that continued alongside her tears.

Open Hands...

This past month, as I've mentioned in other posts, has been filled with moments in which God has spoken strongly to my heart.

While I'm not one to share the most intimate details of my relationship with God, this one was so pivotal, I want to share it with you.

The struggle I've faced this week has been a particularly irrational fear. Logic tells me I shouldn't fear; history tells me otherwise. The fear has, at times, been paralyzing to my heart and finally, yesterday, I begged God to release me from it. To allow me to live in the joy that really does overwhelm my heart. To rest fully in the peace He has showered over my mind.

Today I came home from helping decorate the church for Easter, and I laid down on the bed, my heart vacillating between fear and peace. I didn't even say words out loud...I just asked God in a heart-whisper to please teach me. Please speak to me. Please show me how to gain victory in this situation.

And He did.

He reminded me of something I heard long ago and had completely forgotten about until I asked for help today. I don't know if someone told me this or if I read it somewhere, but I remember learning that someone struggling with fear and control learned to open her hand. Physically open her hand until her palm was flat toward the sky and her fingers spread wide. And in that physical act of opening her hand, she learned to let go. Let go of the fear. Let go of the control. Let go of whatever consumed her. It reminded her of Who really is in control.

And so, stretched out on my bed, I uncurled my hand and spread my palm wide toward Heaven. And I knew He had everything in His hand...and was much more able to work with me now that I'm not trying to run the show.

God has blessed my socks off in recent weeks. Never really thought about it until I started to type this sentence, but I think I've been able to see more of the fruit of His Spirit in me now than ever before. My heart overflows with joy and there's absolutely no other aura I'd rather show than the joy and peace He's placed in me. And while I know letting go of fear is going to be a process, it's one I'm ready to tackle with open hands.

Missing the Pageant

Today felt like Saturday. I zoomed my way right through a school zone because I totally forgot it was a weekday. Woops.

But tonight, as I have given extra thought to the reason we observe Good Friday, I have missed the Pageant. The Easter Pageant, that is.

I've written about it before, but in case you're new to my blog, here's the synopsis. For years here in Marion, the community presented an Easter Pageant to portray the Holy Week, Jesus' death and resurrection.

My first time to be in it, I was in utero. I don't remember much about that. I was just short of three years old the next time I was in it...and I participated every year after until it stopped production when I was in my mid-twenties.

And Easter hasn't seemed like Easter since.

Tonight would have been a performance night, and right about now I'd be in the shower trying to scrub off dark brown makeup from my arms and face. (Not to mention fetching blue eyeshadow and deep brown lipstick. Oh yes. Fetching.) Instead I'm curled up on the couch ready to share these pictures with you.

Until the very end when attendance waned, this was the type of view you could see if you drove past the Coliseum where the pageant was held. Lines started early and tickets were sought after. (The performance "stage" was the entire basketball floor of the Coliseum, along with the actual stage at the end of it, and the audience sat in the bleachers all around.)

The Pageant didn't have a script of spoken word. The story was told entirely through music, provided by a choir and orchestra. I have the whole thing memorized. Love singing it.

Sorry these next few pictures are in a very random order. Issues with the album. This was one of the most spectacular sights of the whole pageant. I never saw it until I was in my twenties. The role I played prior to that had me backstage during this part, but I remember the first year I had a new part and got to see this live. Breathtaking. The curtain came up to this sight, and then they broke the scene to take communion and returned to this as the curtain went down.

The year I saw the Last Supper for the first time was also the first time I got to watch the resurrection scene. Very moving. The tomb would be dark when the women first arrived and then the light came on and the angel appeared.

In the pageant, we called Jesus "the Christus" - and he was always in costume, even in early rehearsals when everyone else wore regular clothing. He was always portrayed by a member of the clergy.

Judas accepting 30 pieces of silver in exchange for his betrayal.

Silent before His accusers.

Agonizing in the garden.

The crowd shouting for crucifixion as Pilate deliberates with his counselors.

He bore our sins and our sorrows.

Take this cup and drink...

Going into the garden to pray...

Today (and all days) I'm thankful for His sacrifice.

God is GOOD

Not that this is new information.

He's always been good.

This week has been full of some of the most beautiful moments and some of the hardest moments...and in it all, God has been good.

Several months ago, I walked...no, I crawled...perhaps I was dragged?...through a significant spiritual drought. My prayer life was embarrassing; my devotional life worse than that. I felt like an utter failure to God and the person He made me to be. And I told Him so. (Why hide it, right?)

It is no coincidence to me that these past (almost...hallelujah!) forty days of Lent have been days of silent driving for me. The prayers that have been offered up behind the wheel have far surpassed "please make this light turn green" and have become beautiful moments of conversation with the Lord. And those moments have spilled over into my non-driving life, too.

Chris, you've told me over and over the merits of praying on your knees, and I have to say...I get it now. Many days recently have found me on my knees or just flat out on my face before the Lord, and I love it. I love the peace He gives. I love the whispers to my heart. I love the acceptance of my prayers...which have ranged from screechingly giddy to deep cries.

My heart is full of joy and hope. God is good. He has been good to walk this journey with me, to meet me at each turn with just the strength I need. Just the calm I need.

I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. - 2 Timothy 1:12

We Now Resume Our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

PRAISE THE LORD.

My computer is back. Actually it never left. It just now has a cord that works. My discovery of its arrival was virtually something out of a movie as I tore (in slow motion, I have no doubt) across the house, to the porch, into the box, and retrieved it LITERALLY while shaking. I'm such a connection addict.

So in honor of my return to blogland...the promised pictures of the Gaither event. :)

The convocation was held in our brand new ENORMOUS chapel. IWU inducted Bill and Gloria Gaither into the Society of World Changers (I think that's what we call it...) to honor their life of work in the music industry.

This was at the very beginning. Knowing me, it was probably during prayer. Leave it to me to mar a sacred moment with photography.

Such events begin with the unveiling of the bust. (Boy now there's a thought, huh?) I won't lie to you. These bronze busts freak me out. I don't know what I'd do if I ever saw myself in bronze. Anyway. The great unveiling.

There they are! Bill and Gloria in real life...and in bronze.

Our University Chorale and University Singers did a BEAUTIFUL tribute to their music. It was very moving.

Right before the music, they also showed a video montage of the highlights of their life and successes. After the music, Bill took a moment to share his thoughts on what they'd just seen and heard.

And then Gloria talked. (I mentioned part of her speech a couple of posts ago...) I loved it that she didn't script this one. She's a masterful writer and I love to read her works, but I also have a deep appreciation for her unscripted wisdom. And that's what she gave us that day.

Bill and Gloria sharing from their hearts. (I will admit to a tear in my eye, but please make a note that a student in front of me was hiccup-crying. I may never again be outdone by crying.)

Gloria spoke at an IWU graduation a few years ago and received an honorary doctorate at that time. This day was Bill's turn.

Right about this time he called out "Don't mess up my hair!"

I'd say they did a pretty good job, Dr. Bill!

So there you have it....the convocation. Once again...I'm THRILLED with my camera zoom. SWEET from the balcony!

Food Poisoning 101

I had THE most amazing weekend. Seriously, best ever. So relaxing, so filled with joy, so beautiful.

Then I came home.

Got food poisoning.

At least I think that's what it was. I felt FINE on Sunday until about 10 pm and then my stomach just started feeling funny. I thought it was a combo of a couple other things but then they calmed down and the stomach still hurt. I couldn't even sit down or lay down without feeling sicker.

So I began the traditional bartering with God. I hate throwing up, people. I will volunteer for virtually anything in the Kingdom if God will just not make me throw up.

Bartering lasted until 4:30 in the morning, at which point, I lost my battle.

I tried to come to work. It took me 2 hours to get ready, I came to work, lasted for two hours, and then threw in the towel. Went home, hit the couch and did not MOVE again until 8 pm.

I'm much better today. Lots of rest, lots of prayer, lots of sympathy have made me feel just about 100% again.

But please, I beg of you, don't ask me to eat salsa for a while.

Writing Because I Can

I figure while I have the advantage of actually having a computer in front of my face, I should write you something!

I was going to wait to post about this when I had pictures to go with it, but I want to go ahead and say it now. Pictures to follow in 5-8 days. :) Or 4-7. Or whatever I'm down to now.

This week, I went to the World Changers Society convocation at work. They started this about 7 years ago, and every year they honor someone by inducting them into the Society. The names have been pretty big sometimes...Dr. Dobson...Joni Eareckson Tada...you get the idea.

I never go to the convocation because I'm not into messing with the crowds. This year, however, they inducted Bill and Gloria Gaither. I do not need to explain to you how many weeks ago this event was blocked out on my calendar, right?

The ceremony was very good...the pictures are good, I promise...but what really spoke to me most was what Gloria had to say in her remarks. Granted, she was addressing college students, but I'm just an overgrown kid, so I heard her words loud and clear.

She talked about the ever present question of What is God's will for my life? And bless her heart she didn't try to cram some huge pressure to dream big down anybody's throats. She simply reminded us to do whatever is right in front of us today and know that this is God's will for this moment. Is it to pass a math test? Pass a math test. Is it to pick up your dirty socks? Pick up your socks.

And little by little, He will reveal the next step in the plan.

Why do we make it so much harder than that?

Oh People......

I’m here! I’m here!

Oh people….what a WEEK!

I have so many things to tell you. I have so many pictures to post. I have recipes. I have running cards. I have very fun pictures from something I went to this week.

AND I CAN’T TELL YOU ABOUT ANY OF THEM BECAUSE….

I’m computerless.

I do, however, have a fun Bekahland story regarding said computerless-ness, so gather round.

I noticed earlier this week that when I tried to plug in my computer to charge it, the cord seemed finicky. I’d have to jiggle it a little or switch it to another outlet to get it to work properly. I knew my outlets were fine because other things were working in them. Well…Tuesday night I came home to a nearly dead battery and a very dead power cord.

Nothing worked. I wiggled it. I moved it to every outlet in the house. Basically I did everything but stand on my head, and the only reason I didn’t do that is because…well…need I explain the disaster that would ensue if I tried THAT?

In a moment of pretend brilliance, I called Staples to see if new power cords could be purchased. The Staples lady said, “No, you have to purchase those from the manufacturer.” So, using the last morsel of battery power in my computer, I looked up the number for the manufacturer and placed the call. Amazingly enough the menu didn’t have a specific option that said “If your power cord is dead, please press three,” so I guessed my way into the troubleshooting department.

The man who took my call was quick to inform me that my warranty expired a week ago. Well of course it did! Why wouldn’t it? So he asked me a bunch of questions – largely centered around whether or not there was physical damage to my cord. He didn’t seem to want to take no for an answer. After reminding me no less than five times that my warranty had expired a week ago, he gave me the phone number for the warranty department so I could check with them, “just to see.”

So I called the warranty department. “Well I’m sorry, ma’am,” they said, “but your warranty expired a week ago.”

I KNOW.

I explained that I called because that’s what Mr. Troubleshooter Man told me to do and I was supposed to ask if there was anything they could do.

“No ma’am. Your warranty expired a week ago.”

Really!? I didn’t argue. I work in customer service and I understand that a deadline is a deadline. I am not any more special than anybody else whose warranty expired. I do not need to make an appeal. It is what it is. Let the record show.

He explained I’d need to talk to the parts department to order a new cord…or…I could order it online. Mustering my kindest voice, I said, “I’d be happy to…IF I HAD A COMPUTER THAT WORKED.” I asked if he could transfer me to parts and he hastily said, “Oh no, I can’t do that. I can only give you their number.”

Okay then.

So I called the parts lady. She asked if I knew my warranty expired a week ago.

Need I dignify that with an explanation?

She said I’d need a new cord and quoted a price so outrageous that “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” flew out of my mouth and I refuse to even put it in print. But that wasn’t the worst. The worst was when she said, “That will be there in seven to ten days.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I’m sorry – did I move onto the set of Little House on the Prairie and no one told me? Does Oleson’s store not carry power cords?

I recovered quickly, in the interest of wanting to bear a good witness. But get this.

She closed our call with, “I’ll send you an email receipt. Just email me back if you have any questions.”

To which I replied, “I sure will. In seven to ten days.”

Bits for Sunday, March 21

I have a lot of quirks.

They’re why you love me, right? :)

Back when I turned 30 (as if that was sooooo long ago) I made a list. List making is one of my quirks, so this should not shock you. It was filled with things I wanted to do to improve my spiritual life, my ministry life, my home life, my relationship life, and the enjoyment of life. Some of the things I’ve done well. Others…not so much.

But something I wrote down to go along with the list was my theme song for this decade. And I hope it’s actually my theme song for life. Also not shocking to you, it’s a Gaither song. You know I love their music, but this may be my most favorite song they’ve ever written.

Since I’m still music-less in my car for two more weeks, I decided to sing this one to myself on the way home from church today. I won’t put all the words here, but I wanted to list some that spoke to me a little extra today.

I then shall live as one who’s been forgiven. On one of the Gaither tapings, Gloria talked about that line and how she wondered how we would live if we did, in fact, live as forgiven people. I’d never given it much thought before I heard her say that. I have been forgiven. I am forgiven. I know that. But I don’t always live that way. A more accurate line for me might have something to do with…I then shall live as one who’s caught up in fear. I then shall live as one consumed with worry. I then shall live as one who doesn’t believe. But to live as one who’s been forgiven. Now that’s some freedom, right there.

I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges. Hmmm, back to the fear! This has been a big one for me this week. God chose this time to make me aware of just how often I build a wall instead of a bridge. And He’s made me aware in a call-to-change sort of way. It has been a tough week in that respect. This is a hard lesson to learn. But if I don’t learn it now, I’m going to have to learn it later anyway, and in the meantime, I’m going to distance people who shouldn’t be distanced.

I’ll dare to see another’s point of view. You know about my praying on the run cards that I use to count laps when I’m running. One set of cards has to do with lessons I am trying to learn now for when I’m married someday. One of the quotes on the cards talks about understanding that there might be more than one way to solve a problem, and my opinion may not be right – it may just be one possible solution. I’m working to understand that.

Your Kingdom come around and through and in me. Gloria didn’t talk about this line in her interview, but I wonder the same things she said about the first line…regarding this one. How would we live if we did, in fact, live as people who invited God’s Kingdom to come around and through and in us? It’s what He wants of us, anyway. Why not live that way? Think of the blessings we would receive and those we would be privileged to give if we lived with His Kingdom infiltrating us that way!

The song has many more lyrics that are equally wonderful. These are just the ones that hit me today. And truly, if someday when I’m old and wrinkled(er), I would hope that those around me could look at every line of this song and say, “She lives just that way.”

Update #2 -

Y'all, one person should not have enough happening in life to do two updates in one week. That is just pure ridiculousness. But it's true. So here I am.

* Remember the night I worked late? Turns out my work computer's hard drive DIED. I've never killed a hard drive in 13 years of work. I felt really bad about it! But the IT people were so nice and fixed me right up with a new one. The good news was, it was fixable. The bad news was, I lost everything. The odd news was, I didn't care. Once upon a time, that would have completely unglued me - to have to start over with my music and documents and tracking down the work sites. Today I just shrugged.

* Yesterday was an INCREDIBLE day. Best day I've had in a long time. And you know what honks me off about that? I had this perfect day - a million memories of joy. And I fell asleep for just a few minutes, woke up, and realized I HAD DREAMED ABOUT WORK. Are you kidding me? I had this perfect day and fell asleep to visions of my office and verification papers? That is wrong. WRONG.

* My cat (or some combination of the two) threw up THREE TIMES in this house this morning. I finally just started walking around the house with the carpet cleaner. Just like a little squirt gun.

* I have more news, I'm sure, but I just got the call that my "We're going to teach you to play cards" crew is en route, so I must go gear up my brain to learn. Oh heaven help us all.

Kinda Crazy!

So in my silence...here's what's been happening in Bekahland

* We are O-ficially in our busy season at work. In fact, I'm taking a fast break from returning to the office tonight just to pop in and say hi. The phones have been ringing like crazy, I'm pretty sure lists now grow out of my actual person, and appointments abound. BUT - I'm so thankful to have a job!

* I did an UNHEARD OF thing on Monday and took half a sick day. I know! Sit down! Shut up! As most of you know, I do NOT believe in sick days. Much like Mark Lowry's mother, my philosophy is unless you're throwing up, you get to work. Unfortunately at noon on Monday, I had to halt my standing Monday lunch date about ten minutes into our meal. My sweet friend rushed me home because I thought I was going to have to do the dreaded V word. She really was so wonderful. We got in the car and she said, "Do you need air?" I said "NO...YES!" So she frantically switched air on and off as suited my need that second. She turned off the main road when I made wild gestures to move NOW! She even knew to just stop talking because I needed to focus on NOT throwing up in her car. I decided that was close enough even for Mark Lowry's mother, and stayed home the rest of the day.

* Fortunately I was much better by Tuesday and guess what, guess what, guess what!?!!?!? The Sonic is open again! It opened Monday but you know the rule...too sick for work...too sick for strawberry cream slushes! But yesterday was beautiful, so a couple friends from work went with me and we sat out at a picnic table and indulged in amazing Sonic-ness.

* Today I became the owner of a pack n play. I know! Sit down! Shut up! And no, I don't have an announcement. :) A friend of mine is having a baby soon and I wanted to have a bed for baby at Aunt Bekah's house, so I now own one.

* In keeping with the family sickness, my Dad spent the night in the hospital last night. He became ill while having the tires rotated yesterday (I can see how that could lead to illness) and my Mom had to go get him and take him to the emergency room. He had some tests, including a cat scan - which revealed he is, in fact, NOT having kittens - spent the night and came home today. And by came home, I mean drove himself home. Mark Lowry's mother would be proud.

* So that's a quick catch-up on life in Bekahland. It has been great here lately. God is GOOD. He always is...that's not new. But His blessings have overflowed extra lately and I want to be sure to thank Him out loud!

Bits for Sunday, March 14

Today (okay technically yesterday since I am not writing until after midnight...) began EDST. I think by now most of you know my disdain for this practice. I’ve never liked it and don’t intend to start now. I comply with it by mentally adjusting my work schedule to 7-4. The rest of the world may call it 8-5, but it’s 7-4. This is why, when flex time is offered in the summer, I can’t participate. What non-morning person works from 6-3? Are you kidding me?

I gave in and changed all the clocks in my house, out of respect for those who might visit me and need to know the time. But let the record show, I will not change the clock in my car. And it has nothing to do with not knowing how to change it. Oh I know how! I just refuse. They can have every other clock in my world, but they’re not getting my car.

Today, though, has been a strange adjustment to EDST. I didn’t sleep well last night…I woke up early…even earlier than the early early…and I didn’t take a nap. And still I remained civil! I do fear for the attitude tomorrow, however. Sometimes it takes a day or two to sink in.

I’m going to do a complete about-face in topic here. I would apologize, but these are my Bits and I’m really not sorry. :)

Despite the start of EDST and my lack of sleep and all the busyness that has been taking place around me lately, I have to say that this was an incredible Sunday.

I drove to church in silence, which today I was actually grateful to have. I had much on my mind and needed the time to spend in prayer. In fact, upon arriving at church, I wanted to just continue praying. I wasn’t sure how I was going to juggle listening to the sermon and moving forward with the prayers I’d begun on the way.

God was way ahead of me.

Our entire service today was built around prayer. We didn’t have a traditional sermon. We had little thoughtlets and Scriptures about prayer…and then we prayed. For minutes on end. Then we had more thoughtlets and Scriptures…and then we prayed again.

I don’t remember ever having a service quite like that one since I started attending this church. How good of God to know that’s just what I needed today. How good of Him to provide a whole atmosphere of prayer. How good of Him to keep me awake during it!

So…no, I don’t like changing the clocks. No, my internal clock is unlikely to change with it. But if I could have another prayer day like this one sometime soon – I’d welcome it! (I’d also welcome it an hour later in the day.)