A Little Fall Fun

First of all, thank you all SO much for your comments and emails of encouragement yesterday. They meant so much to both of us! Thanks for hearing this excited bride's heart.

PS. Still SO weird to write the word BRIDE. In reference to ME! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Thought I'd lighten the mood a bit today by showing you a fun date Ryan and I had a few days back.

Tim Hawkins was in Fort Wayne, so we went to see him! I'd never seen him live - and neither had Ryan - so we went and laughed until our cheeks hurt!!! He is SO FUNNY!! If you've not seen him - check him out on YouTube - and if you find out he's in your area, go hear him!!

 THEN we lost a short period of time of our life waiting to get out of the parking lot. With nothing better to do, we took pictures.

 THEN...we went on a little outing to Steele Farms in Decatur, IN. I love this place!!! I went last year with Rachel Ashley and had so much fun....

We ate dinner there - hot dogs from the concession stand, which we loved. (Because we love hot dogs!! Hate it that the weather has prevented us from having hot dogs out at the fire pit this fall!)

 While there, Ryan got to meet the Crandalls - because they bundled up all of their kids and came to meet us! We love meeting each others friends and family - and this was a fun night of doing more of THAT! By the time we were done socializing with them, it was pretty dark, but that didn't stop us from doing a little photo opp with the cutouts...

 You'd be cranky too if you woke up with that much of a beard (for me) or a bun (for him)!

 Lookie what they have!! A CORN MAZE!!!!

 Never been in a corn maze after dark before, and I'm not going to lie - I was nervous! But check out my rockin' outfit - rain boots, skinny jeans, a hoodie, and gloves. Again - so lucky he loved me BEFORE this.

 Yeah we were lost from the get-go.

 And cold. It was SO COLD that night!!!

 We wandered around for a while and finally found an exit, so then we headed over to the pumpkin patch, where you can pick your own pumpkins!

 I shouldn't play with tools.

 A quick stop in the market before we went home to buy our pumpkins and some fall treats - peanuts and candy corn for the trip home!!!

We loved our day so much. And if you're in the area, Steele Farms is open until the 28th of October (I think) so check them out! Such a fun trip!

Formulas

I'm writing this post today because it's weighing on my heart, and I want to interrupt the Ryan 'n Bekah scrapbook long enough to share my heart. Sit with me and hear my thoughts?

I dearly wish I could find my Experiencing God workbook from this summer because I wanted to quote this to you outright...but alas...I've hidden it in a house showing adventure and I don't remember where!

But the bottom line was this: the authors said that the problem with Christians (and I would dare even to say the problem with people) is that we want a formula. We want to crack open the Bible (or any book) and find this perfectly tested outline that tells us exactly what steps to take - and when - to live this life. But life isn't like that. Life is not a formula.

And in all the joy...in all the excitement...in all the whirlwind that has been my relationship with Ryan, I find that I'm peppered with a lot of questions. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind the questions. I welcome the questions. I'm not afraid of them. Some of you have commented questions or emailed me questions and I love that. Ask me! Sometimes it helps me see what things you want to know about this love story, and already some future blog posts are swirling in my mind because I'm eager to fill in the gaps in this story so you can know it more fully.

But my heart is burdened today because (as with anything in life) there are skeptics. There are the eyebrow-raisers. There are those who feel nervous because of the crazy speed at which this relationship has moved. There are those who question things about it. There are those who are angry because things don't look...well...to be honest, they don't look like a formula.

* It is unorthodox, I understand, to date for two months, be engaged for two months, and then get married. People tend to expect a nice two year dating span, followed by six months to a year of engagement. Any shorter and people call it rushing. Any longer and people wonder which one in the couple is afraid of commitment. But let me tell you this. I spent the entire decade of my twenties preparing for marriage. I have read books and attended seminars and prayed Scripture and done a host of other things (some of which I shared with you and some of which I did not) to prepare for marriage. Ryan and I took time apart before we ever dated to pray about whether or not to even pursue a relationship. We sought counsel. We sought Abba. And we know - we are sure of each other and we are sure that God is leading us together. We realize some are surprised at the timing, and in some ways, we're surprised too! But as the verse on the left of my blog (ironically my 2012 verse, given to me by God at the start of the year) says - my ways are not His ways. His are higher.

* We have chosen to have a small wedding, not the big hoopla that I had long envisioned and that most probably expected me to have. There are those who are disappointed in this decision, and I do understand that. But I also know that this wedding fits us. Our entire relationship (proposal excluded) has been filled with moments that just include the two of us and God. We want to continue that with our wedding. We'll have a big party later - don't you worry. We'll give you a chance to celebrate with us. But the wedding - that is our sacred time with God.

* I am not pregnant. (I hate even writing that but it's been asked and I want to be SURE to shoot down that rumor.) Ryan and I have not had sex and will not until our wedding night. We are getting married quickly because we desire to begin our forever life together - and that is all there is to that.

* I realize there are A LOT of holes in this story. I love it that you all read this blog. I told Ryan the other night that it baffles me that the girl who was utterly invisible for so many years, now has a family of readers so big - she doesn't even know them all. And I can't imagine for the life of me why some of you hang out and take interest like you do, but I'm GLAD you do. And I know you are itching to know more - to know the rest of the story. But I only write one post a day. And they all can't be as long as this one. :) So I'll get to it eventually. I'll tell you the bits and pieces - about Ryan, about us. But it will take some time.

* There might be some unanswered questions. I believe God has asked me to use this blog as a ministry and I love it when I get emails from you saying how much you have been encouraged by something you read. I'm so grateful Ryan is open to having his life shared on the blog along with mine. I'm grateful he shares in my calling. Embraces it as his, too. Having said that, we won't tell you everything. Some things are just sacred and they're ours. There's a difference between hiding something and protecting the sacred. If I don't tell you something, it's not because I'm hiding it. It's because I'm protecting it as ours.

I love you...all of you who read. You bless and encourage me with your comments. I love it (we both do!) that so many of you are SO excited with us. I can't tell you how many women I talked to Saturday at the wellness fair who said to me, "Oh you're the girl who got engaged! I loved that!" We love it that you rejoice with us. We do.

It's hard to not let the two or three hurtful comments speak louder than the dozens of supportive ones. But we are convinced that God has ordained our love, and we're anxious to begin this life together. Even if it looks nothing like a formula.

Thanks for hearing my heart today. I hope it made sense. And I hope you'll still love hanging out here at Bekah's Bits!

Day Trip to Brown County

If you're not from Indiana, you're missing out on the treasure that is Brown County. It's in southern Indiana, and it is GORGEOUS. I think it was three years ago, now, that I spent a weekend down there with Julie Crandall - and then last summer (as in a year ago), right before I started my job at the station, I went down there for a week with Rachel Ashley for a writing retreat. It's just such a serene place!

Ryan and I had on our bucket list to go down there for a day this fall, but it seemed like every time we tried to schedule a day, one of us couldn't get out of work. Sadness indeed. So at the last minute (but before I knew about the engagement) we decided to take Friday off and head down there. I was SO GLAD we did that, because after the Thursday proposal, I'm not sure I could have focused to work on a Friday!!

We drove down that morning, making wedding plans the whole way down. The area was scheduled to be yucky and cold all day, but when we arrived, it was sunny and not too cold, so we decided to go to the state park first in case the rain showed up later.

 First order of business was to climb this fire tower. Let me back up and remind you I'm afraid of heights. And objects in photo are taller than they appear...

 It took several come-to-Jesus moments, but I made it to the top. You'll notice I did NOT let go of the railing or of Ryan. He told me later he considered proposing to me here. I'm glad he didn't. He never would have gotten my fingers uncurled enough to put a ring on my hand!

 He had to take over all photography once we got to the top because I seriously COULD NOT let go. My hands are cold just typing about it.

 We were really REALLY up there.

 We thought maybe this would be a good first home...and we plan to register for doors. What do you think??

 More self-timer/tripod magic.

 We hiked around Ogle Lake, which is the same lake Rachel and I hiked around in the 23904 degree heat last summer. The trees were starting to turn and it was GORGEOUS out there.

 I am in love with this man who carries a tripod for us. (His idea, no less, thankyouverymuch.)

 Hiking...hiking...hiking...

 We took our time, stopping several times just to talk. It really was the perfect morning. PERFECT.

 Photo opps outside a little picnic cabin at the end of the trail. We got some strange looks from passers-by, but do we look like we care? Didn't think so.

 I love this one!!!

 By the time we were done there, it was past lunch time, and we were hungry!! So we drove into Nashville (which is the little touristy town in Brown County) and had some massive tenderloins for lunch. They were SO GOOD.

 Then, you know - a quick trip to the courthouse...

 HA! Just kidding. I mean we did go up there for the picture, but we did not get married. HELLO!!!

We spent a couple of hours just shopping around. We got some stuff for ourselves and we did some Christmas shopping too!!

Then it was time for our afternoon coffee break.

 During which time, it started pouring....and we finally gave up and ran (or galloped, as he described my running in ballet flats and too-long jeans) through puddles back to the car.

 One look at that hair makes me glad he already loves me!! :)

On the way home, we stopped at these outlet malls and did a little shopping!

And that was our post-engagement day-trip!!

Post-Engagement Festivities

I'm now going to try to catch you up on the activities that ensued after the engagement!

My office went ALL OUT that day - and even had a post-proposal party planned! We were instructed, after leaving the studio when Mid-Morning went off the air, to go into the conference room for a little party. They'd decorated the table and had a cake waiting and EVERYTHING!!

 We call this piece, "Smile fast before the cake slides off the board." Wouldn't THAT have been a tragedy?

 Name spelled right. CHECK!!!!!

 The newly engaged couple with the lovely Lynne Ford, whose hard work (and deception skills, though we won't mention them as such) made this all possible.

 We were somewhat interrogated by the work crew (in a good way, you understand). I was still slightly (totally) stunned, so Ryan took over as the master storyteller. :)

 Lynne said I could take a long lunch, and Ryan had researched a place to take me - a little tiny Italian restaurant called Toscani's.

 Sausage roll - apparently they are famous for these.

 I got one too - sorry about the glow in the picture. It's no doubt a glare from the ring. :D

 Because we have to get a picture of the outside of every restaurant...

And after that, I had to go back to work and figure out how to function!! Easier said than done. But I did it! As for Ryan? He went back to my house and mowed my yard for me...with my lawn mower, which once again had a wheel fall off. Remember that time a long time ago I had to mow with a 3 wheeled mower? He was not a fan. Anyway. So I came home to a freshly cut lawn and dinner in the oven. Yes, please. I will marry THIS MAN!!!

It's the Weekly Recap!!

* Last Sunday afternoon, I made my pilgrimage to Middlebury, up in Amish Country to begin a planning session with Lynne!

We had this on the books long before Ryan and I were engaged, but we kept our plans and had such a great time! We stayed at the Essenhaus - which was just homey and heavenly. Any time spent with Lynne is just FUN time. No two ways about it.

* Monday the planning continued. We got so much work done to plan shows for the rest of the year, which was really exciting. I love being able to be creative with her...and you know, it doesn't hurt when you can be creative BEFORE makeup, thankyouverymuch.

* Tuesday I made a trip to (sigh of contentment) Hobby Lobby - to purchase props for our engagement photo session! WHAT!?! Engagement pictures already? Well you better believe THAT! :) We wanted to have fall foliage in our pictures and around here, some trees are already half-naked, so we had to hurry to get them in before it's all gone!

* Wednesday night...engagement photos, session number one!! Want a sneak peek of the pictures? Ryan's mom took them and she did an amazing job. Oh my goodness. We picked out all our poses ourselves, but she did a great job capturing the fun and love we share!

* Thursday evening, Ryan and I went to Kokomo to meet up with some of his friends for a coffee/dessert date. On the way - this gorgeous sunset!

And after that, he took me to meet more of his family. They were so sweet...made me feel incredibly welcomed and loved!

* Friday evening (sorry about this, Kristin), we went to Mi Pueblo and then over to McConn with our friends Adam and Sara. Sara read my raving reviews of Apple Pie Chai from McConn, so she wanted to try some...and she LOVED IT!!!! It was our first official double date and it was much fun!

* Yesterday I worked the Health and Wellness day fair for the station. I was assigned to work in the ticket booth with Jeri and Sheryl...Sheryl and I were twins!!!

Pinterest Inspiration: I didn't really have time to make a Pinterest board for engagement pictures - since we had them taken so quickly. But we did find something similar to this as we searched through Pinterest for ideas. The whole "pinky promise swear" phrase is a joke between us, so when we saw something like this, we knew we wanted to do it. This one is ours, though:

What I Love

If you watched the proposal video, you got about 2 minutes of really wonderful things Ryan said about me. It was so comforting and affirming and such a blessing to hear him say to me all the things he loved most about who I am. I knew them...but who doesn't love to hear those things out loud?

So you might be wondering...what is it that drew me to Ryan? What do I love about him? How could I know so quickly that he is the kind of man I can entrust my entire life to? What made me certain he's the one I want to spend every day with for the rest of my life?

Read on.

And these are in no particular order.

* I do have to start with his heart for the Lord. I've gone to church with Ryan for the last four years, and in that time I've seen the way he serves in the church. He's on the praise team, he taught our Sunday School class for a big chunk of that time, and he was involved in a lot of other things at church too. I'll be the first to say that church involvement is good (great, even!) but doesn't always tell the true state of the heart. Anyone can serve in church and then go home and be someone else. But as I've gotten to know him, I've been able to see that the man who serves in public is the same man who goes home and prays...and studies Scripture...and does everything he can to live a life that follows Micah 6:8 - to live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with his God.

* He is an amazing spiritual leader. I've never dated anyone who willingly took on the role of spiritual leader in our relationship. Ryan does. He leads us in prayer together, he leads us in devotions together, and takes on that role with confidence and with much grace. I love it.

* He is SO FUNNY. We have a great time laughing together. It took us no time at all to develop a long list of jokes that we love - and we just laugh all the time. He has such a sense of humor. We try to enjoy the hooey out of life and so far, we do a pretty good job.

* He pushes me out of my comfort zone, all the while making sure I'm safe and loved. I'm a big fat chicken, y'all, and he sees in me the potential I can't always see in myself. He pushes me with such love and affection that he's helping me to become more than I knew I could be - and yet I never feel unsafe.

* He loves coffee. He loves pictures. He loves scrapbooks. He loves shopping. He loves cooking. And he loves to share all those things with me. We drink coffee together every single day that we see each other. We took 118 pictures on our first date. He helped me pick out an outfit for our engagement pictures. He looks at my scrapbooks and encourages me to make more to preserve our memories. He will pilfer through stores with me, hunting for treasures. He loves to not just be in the kitchen with me but help me make every meal and we love sharing all those things.

* He brings me gifts. Flowers, journals, coffee, clothes, cards, notes, surprise lawn mowing, surprise gas-tank-filling - he does a million little tangible things all the time that make me feel so loved. So cared for. That's brand new for me.

* He's a planner. He plans dates, he's taken on the lion's share of wedding planning, and he has a plan in place for our future in every aspect. I love to plan too - so it's such a blessing to have a husband-to-be who not only understands it - but he does it too.

* He is so affectionate. He loves to hold my hand and snuggle and kiss me (sorry for all the pictures of that) - and I love it. That is a HUGE love language for me, so it means so much to me that he's excited to do those things.

* He's vocal about his love. I get dozens of texts every day telling me how loved I am - and morning phone calls and evening Skype dates and a thousand other ways in between he out-loud tells me that he loves me.

* He sees me. This girl who felt invisible for so many years finally feels SEEN. He sees everything about me and loves me. He loves the heart of me - the heart that was afraid to show up again for fear of being rejected again. He loves that heart.

* Not gonna lie - because you all have eyes. He's one handsome man!!

* In 1999, I wrote a list of 25 things I must have in a husband. It's a detailed list. I pulled it out and looked at it - and he meets EVERY SINGLE THING on my list. Every one.

God has blessed me - and I can't think of anyone better suited for me than Ryan. We are an example of a couple of broken roads that led straight to the other. We love our love story - despite the pain we had in the past. I love the man he is and I love the hope of a bright future together - honoring God for what He has done!

We Have So Much Fun!!

I feel like this whole story has gotten all out of chronological order. Oh wait. That's because it has. I had to skip our dating season to tell you about the proposal I loved so much. So it seems sort of anticlimactic now to go back and tell you dating stories.

BUT.

I really want you to see how much fun we have together - because we do. We just completely enjoy spending time together. That's one reason we got engaged so quickly and are planning to get married so quickly. We just love being together. We love LIFE together. Whether we're grocery shopping or heading somewhere in the car or fixing dinner or watching football on TV - we just thoroughly enjoy being together.

So here's a peek at the kind of fun we have had since we began dating!

We went to visit the prayer chapel at IWU - where I spent many, many Tuesdays sitting in this very pew praying for the man who would one day be my husband. Loved being able to take him there and show him where I prayed for him before I even knew it was him!

 We shop. Kind of a lot. Don't buy a lot because that would involve spending and we prefer not to overdo that! But it's fun to look. Here...indulging our inner HGTV.

 We love traveling in the car together! We do a lot of talking and dreaming there. And drinking coffee and iced tea. :)

 Random photo shoots. Yep. He is fine with the Bekahrazzi. We had this photo shoot one day and lucked out with a great dancing picture. This one captured courtesy of a tripod and a self-timer. I was pleased.

 Did I mention we drink a LOT of coffee?

 Sunset at the lake. (In case you can't tell - it had done set by this time.) His parents go to the lake now and then and invited us to visit!

 Our first concert together! This was the night of the Selah concert...my first time ever to go on a date to a concert!

 And we LOVE to cook together. We cook a bunch of meals - and sometimes he's a sweetheart (well - he's ALWAYS a sweetheart, but you know what I mean) and cooks a meal for me! This one was omelets. One of the things I can't make. But he makes really good ones!

Life is definitely much sweeter and a whole lot more fun with him in it. And now I feel satisfied that you've at least gotten to peek into what got us from a day in Indianapolis to a proposal! :)

The Ring

You girls are mad at me, aren't you? You're mad because I haven't shown you this amazing ring. Well...here's the story of the ring...

Let me back up first to talk about my ruby ring. Several years ago, Olivia and I studied Elizabeth George's book Beautiful in God's Eyes, which is her study of Proverbs 31. A well written study, if you ask me.

On January 6, 2006, I read a chapter called A Sparkling Jewel, which talks about Proverbs 31:10 - "Her price is much higher than jewels." In some Bible translations, that verse says her price is higher than rubies. That always confused me, because I thought diamonds were the most valuable jewel. But Elizabeth said this:

The rich red ruby is truly a unique gem, and because of their rarity, large rubies even surpass diamonds of equal wight in value!

Then she said this:

Each of these sparkling jewels is quite rare and valuable. Each is hard to harvest and few are found. And that's the imagery our young prince's mother uses to impress upon him how extraordinary a woman who is beautiful - in God's eyes - would be. Once found, she would be of inestimable value!

And next to that, in my book, I wrote, "Become a ruby!"

To remind myself of what I wanted to become for Mr. Missing (now Mr. Found!), I bought myself a ruby ring and wore it on my ring finger on my left hand...every...single...day. And I told myself I would leave it there until the man who chose to marry me replaced it with another ring...the ring that he felt represented our love and relationship.

And so it was that this ring...

...was replaced by this ring.

Isn't it lovely?

We'd gone ring shopping and in that adventure, I learned this: I wanted a white gold solitaire ring with a thick band and a princess cut stone. And for a wedding band...a plain white gold band. I wanted something with a little character - but very simple.

I tried on several rings but none of them made me tingle in my toes.

We went ring shopping a second time and that time, I spied a ring in the case that caught my eye. I asked if I could try it on. The ring had far too many diamonds on it to suit me, but I declared if it were just a solitaire, I might like it.

You know what I liked about it? The diamond was set in a "kite" setting (meaning the diamond looked like a kite rather than a square box in the setting) and it had edges all the way around the diamond instead of prongs. I'd never seen either thing in a ring and I loved it. I also loved the way the band curved ever so delicately.

And I had no idea that Ryan had already purchased a ring. A ring he had designed himself. A ring that looked suspiciously like what I was in the middle of declaring I loved.

I love everything about this ring. I love how thick it is. I love the two pieces that come over the ring and hold the diamond in place. Reminds me of how we are two people with a foundation on the Lord. I love the character of the ring. I love it that no one else in the whole world has one just like it.

I kept my ruby ring. I want to remember my calling from God to become a rare jewel in Ryan's life. After we were engaged, I slipped the ruby ring inside the ring box that once held my engagement ring. I might wear it on my right hand now and then.

But now, I am SO in love with this ring. It is what I would have designed if I'd known to design a ring. I love it that Ryan knew my heart well enough to know this is what I'd want.

God's beautiful Proverbs 31 woman was the sparkling jewel in her husband's life! She brought the love, the color, the joy, the life, and the energy to the home. - Elizabeth George.

Beside those words in my book, I wrote "My dream!" Abba, may my dream come true just as he has made mine come true.

The Proposal, Part 3

And now...would you like to know exactly HOW he managed to pull this off? (AKA the series of lies told to me that resulted in me becoming engaged?)

Well you haven't seen this part yet, because I had to skip the dating stories for the time being in order to deliver the proposal story, but a while back, you might remember that I went to a Selah concert. Ryan was actually my date to that concert. We sat with my co-worker Amy and her son, Seth, that night, and Ryan got to meet and talk to both of them.

He knew he wanted to propose to me on the air, so one morning, he called the station while my show was on the air, knowing I'd be busy, and asked for Amy. He told her his plan and she gave him Lynne's phone number so the two of them could figure out all the details.

After ring shopping with me the first time, he knew the ring I wanted did not exist in a case, so he had one designed for me.

When we went to Lynne's house after the 10K, I had no idea that although she was truly just meeting him for the first time, they'd been texting, emailing, and talking on the phone planning this entire proposal. She said she nearly gave it away as we left, because she almost said to him, "See you Thursday!!!!"

When I talked to him on the phone Thursday morning remember how I said I wondered why I hadn't heard the phone switch over to the hands free set? That's because he wasn't in his car going to work. When I said "Are you on the road yet?" he said yes...because he was STANDING in the street outside his house.

So technical.

Sheryl knew about the proposal because he clued her in when he met her at the race. That's why she looked horrified when she saw my lack of makeup that day. She knew there would be a million pictures and if I had no face....

Lynne thought I'd figured it out when I was polishing my nails at my desk. Not true. Just didn't want to have naked nails!

Sheryl had to pick up the frappes because I wasn't allowed to leave the building - because they thought I might run into Ryan in the parking lot!

He hid his car behind the station vans in the parking lot...and they brought him in through a back door I didn't even know existed in the building. They hid him in a back office until I was safely on the air, and then he did an army crawl through the hallway, because the studio where I sit has a large picture window on every wall, so I can see most everything that goes on around me. He hid in the morning guys' office while I prattled on and on (and on and on and on and on) about National Frappe Day.

And those phone issues we were having??? WERE ENTIRELY FAKE. Craig came in to work early and crawled around in two studios PRETENDING to fix phones to keep it authentic for me.

The segment about memorable moments was contrived just to set up the proposal.

And that's how it happened that he PROPOSED TO ME!!! LIVE! ON THE AIR!!

After the proposal, we pulled up a chair for him and Lynne interviewed us both about what we loved about each other....and about our love story.

Then Ron graciously offered to take over my engineering job, so Ryan and I could go down to Lynne's regular studio with her to finish out the show. We did...and I told about the race and that whole process with Ryan...and then we got some sweet phone calls on the air. My best friend, Lynnette, called in, and so did my sister Julie. The last phone call of the day was my Mom...and what a beautiful way to end our show!