I'm Not Hopping Back to the 90s.

Let's just state the obvious up front, okay? I am not a fashion statement. Never have been, never will be...and I'm just fine with it. 

I'm in the middle of growing out my bangs, and they're in the helloooooooooooooooooo, awkward stage. The color has needed refreshed for a while now. I own ONE pair of jeans right now, because you're not allowed to try on anywhere and I cannot leave the store without trying on. I'm a mess. 

But I'm not as much of a mess as I was in the 90s.

Bless. 

But I gotta tell you - I've been seeing some of these 90s/early 2000s fashion trends that are coming back, and I can't be here for it. I just can't. They didn't work for me the first time around and I can't try again. At least for most of them. 

* Slip dresses. Now to be fair - I think slip dresses are super cute. But they don't work on me. See the final picture above for an idea of why. I was in a version of a slip dress the first time someone ever touched my food-baby stomach and congratulated me on blossoming. This girl needs a defined waist. Even if she doesn't always have one. 

* Tie dye. My aversion to tie dye has more to do with the fact that I once (BRIEFLY) dated a guy who was all about tie dye at all times. Ryan enjoys teasing me about this every time we encounter tie dye, so you can see why wearing it would be a problem. Having said that, I do think making a tie dye shirt would be fun. I feel like I did that once in a Vacation Bible School a hundred years ago. Perhaps it's time to try again.

* Scrunchies. I just can't with the scrunchies. Perhaps this is just too much of a revisiting of junior high. I was a scrunchie girl all the way. And the big bows and barrettes. (See middle photo above.) I've been watching Josie Balka (formerly Josie Bates from Bringing Up Bates) introduce adorable barrettes in her shop, but I can't even get on board with that yet. I am confident I'll feel good about this right about the time the trend sails right back out the door.

* Oversized blazers. I can't with that, either. Also see the middle picture above. I actually did buy one blazer at the Goodwill a few months ago, so I have it when I need something business-y, but it's pretty tailored and had NO shoulder pads. I can't go back to shoulder pads. I don't need to add bulk. ANYWHERE.

* Headscarves and bandanas. I never wore these before, but I am intrigued by headbands that are more like hair wraps. Especially since I'm growing out the bangs...

* Fanny packs. Again. I don't need to add bulk. Anywhere. I won't be rejoining the fanny pack world. I did have a fanny pack in the 90s. It was neon. It was the neonist, fanniest pack EVER. I don't miss it. 

* High waisted jeans. These look awful on me. AWFUL. Even if I liked them, they don't like me. If, when I go buy more jeans to add to my wardrobe, I can only find high waisted pants, I will be forced to find a fanny pack to cover it all up. 

* Overalls. They hate me as much as the high waisted jeans. They put bulk in all the wrong places on me, though I do find them to be awfully cute on other people!

So that's where I am with 90s fashion. I might just have to wear jammies for the rest of my life. High waisted, tie dye jammies. ;)