I had a conversation with a friend who was struggling with feeling unappreciated in a friendship of hers. She called me, crying, because she felt like she had invested wholeheartedly but she wasn't receiving much in return.
Have you ever felt like that? It's not fun, is it?
As she continued to share her heart, I asked if the other person in the friendship had specifically said they weren't interested in continuing or if they just hadn't said anything at all.
She said they just hadn't said anything.
I know them both, and my guess is her friend really does still care and really does want to continue the relationship. But the silence spoke loudly - and probably sent a completely inaccurate message!
And that's when I realized of the truth I'd lost sight of in the busyness of life.
Silence is so loud.
How many friendships do I have that I've not spoken words of life into lately? Do my friends feel like my silence is indifference? Or worse...lack of commitment?
Our lives have been ridiculously busy lately. We've worked so hard to carry the WillowBridge torch without our work partners, and in the process, I fear I've missed some birthdays, some milestones, and some follow-up. When my days weren't packed so full, I was so much better on keeping up with those things. I was so much better at checking in. There truly isn't time in the day to do it all, but I would never want my friends to think I've stopped caring. That certainly isn't true!
I'm sorry my friend was hurting the other day. But I'm so glad she shared her heart with me, because it reminded me just how loud silence can be.
As we look ahead to the day our new coworkers arrive, I am looking forward to retrieving extra moments that will allow me to speak into those silent places in my own friendships.
Your people matter. Don't just assume they know you're still all-in with your friendship. Say the words. Affirm them!
1 comment:
Silence can be deafening, and speaking up can take such courage!
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