Another Year

Today marks my final day of matching Ryan in age. (For another 50 weeks, anyway.) 

I remember when I turned 30, and I didn't have a crisis about it at all. I loved it! I loved all the celebration that accompanied it and feeling a little grown up. Then 31 arrived and brought the crisis with it. Thirty-one was SUCH a letdown after a milestone the year before. And then 32 came and I was in the middle of a breakup, which was no fun.

It was no surprise to me that 40 was fun, because...well...you remember the Beauty and the Beast party! How could that NOT be fun!?! And then 41 rolled around and we had just come home from the Caribbean, where we celebrated Ryan's 40th! So no crisis there! (Unless you count the waterfalls.) And then 42 came and we were in the middle of a pandemic, so Ryan threw the best ever party for two at our house. I loved it.

Saying I'm about to be 43 sounds very strange to me, but I'm not dreading it. I'm spending the day with Ryan, so I'm pretty excited, actually! 

When we had that little Anne-of-Green-Gables party for two last year, neither of us had any idea how life changing the year to come would be. No clue at all. 

My heart is overwhelmed with all that God has entrusted to me in this year of my life. I'm not equipped for this work in a way that makes sense to my mind, but I am equipped in the way that He offers strength each day as it's needed. 

The year 42 has been the year of dreams realized in most peculiar ways. 

My dream of working with Ryan? Came true. Never in a bazillion years would I have guessed it would come true in this way, but it has come true, and I love it as much as I thought I would. On these hard days when we're trucking along as the solo couple, I am so grateful to do this with him. I couldn't do this with anyone else. He works hard, shoulders his portion of the load, champions me as I shoulder mine, and together we are thankful to be together in this work.

My dream of working in full time ministry? Came true. Again, I never would have guessed it would look like this, but it has. Earlier this week I wrote an essay for Rob to share with the board members at Gateway, and I read it out loud to Ryan before I sent it. Boy, was that a mistake. The out loud part, I mean. Both of us were crying (and not lightly) from about page .5 forward. We weren't crying because I'm that great (or bad) of a writer, but rather because this work means that much to us. With each word I read, we relived the moments and realized the gift we have in this work we do.

My dream of owning an RV? Came true. It could only come true because we sold a house, which obviously I had no idea we'd be doing, but oh goodness. We love our sweet Abby! (Funny story: she's in the shop right now having a couple of things fixed, and the shop had to relocate her to an offsite building with a larger bay. She was gone for over a week and we had driven everywhere trying to find her. I was convinced she'd been RV-napped. Then just a couple of days ago, we drove by a parking lot and saw her sitting right there. I screamed, "ABBY!!!! I MISS YOU!!!!!" And then I said, to Ryan, "Is it weird that I'm talking to our RV?" He's a smart man. He said no. ;) But we do love Miss Abby, and we are still not sure how to believe she's ours. 

My dream of living in an apartment? Oh wait. Maybe that wasn't a dream. But it's true that we don't mind apartment life! It's not as quiet as life in our own place, but we love this apartment. We love the memories we've made here and I am pretty sure we are now ruined entirely for a commute. Through the front door is the best commute ever.

I'm grateful for this year, even as strange as it was. 

Thank You, Lord, for taking a chance on me with this year and this life. I hope I've represented You well. Thank You for reframing my vision and helping me see more of what You see. (And there's so much more of that growth yet to be done, I know!)