What I Learned in May!

I'm not sure why May seemed like such a long month, but it did! Did it for any of you, or is it just a weird Bekah thing? We had a full month, and you would think I might have learned a little more than I did, but alas...here are the things I noted this month!

1. This is the latest our farmers have gotten into the fields in over a decade.

We have had a crazy, crazy wet spring here in Indiana. So. Much. Rain. Ryan's step-dad, as you may remember, is a farmer, and he told Ryan this year is the latest he's gotten into the fields in over a decade. Normally our fields are planted and crops are peeking up by early May. This year, most farmers hadn't even gotten into the fields to do prep work before mid-May. (Some still hadn't harvested last year's crops, thanks to a lackluster-weather fall!) And as it turned out, the second half of the month was still so rainy that even the few who made it in for prep work didn't get to plant. I actually haven't seen a single planted field anywhere around where we live. Maybe there are a few, but I haven't seen them. It's reached just plain terrifying for farmers at this point.

2. Sometimes delivery is worth the cost.

Ryan, being the able-bodied, project-oriented guy that he is, hardly ever pays for anything to be delivered to our house. (Including pizza.) He would much rather pick it up himself and save the delivery charge. But when we purchased our couch, he decided to spring for delivery. The store where we bought the furniture was in Indianapolis, and the pieces were WAY too big to fit in his little tiny pickup. We would have had to arrange to borrow his step-dad's truck and trailer, and there's the extra little detail of Indiana's recent monsoon season. Hauling a couch an hour in the rain didn't sound fun. So we paid the extra charge for delivery, and it was 100% worth it. The fact that we didn't have to coordinate schedules to borrow trucks and trailers, worry about weather forecasts, or wrestling bulky pieces into the house was worth the cost. (Ryan still set it all up, but at least they brought it in the door!)

3. Turning 41 wasn't as traumatic as turning 31.

Even though I was still single when I turned 30, it wasn't traumatic, because my friends and family treated me to parties, gifts, and so much love. I didn't even think about preparing for a "normal" birthday like 31, and...WOW! That one turned out to be the one that traumatized me. It felt old, there was no pomp and circumstance, and it was hard. After the dynamic celebrations of turning 40, I feared turning 41 would be the same way. But the birthday was great!! It was sunny and warm outside, I got to spend time with Ryan, and I relaxed as much as I wanted to. Perfection! So far, anyway, 41 has been a much smoother transition!

4. It's amazing to see what God can do in a short time.

Back around the end of February, our church formed a new team of women to begin an official women's ministry for the church at large. We immediately began planning a big kickoff event to take place in the middle of May. With just over two months to plan, we weren't sure how many would come or what the night would be like. As it turned out, almost 200 women came, we had a waiting list for tickets, and the room itself was breathtaking when the night arrived. We had no idea it would be such a huge thing, but we were grateful for what God did!

5. It may rain for the remainder of 2019.

Okay, so perhaps not. But it sure feels like it. I guess I don't have to worry about watering the flowers. I may have to worry about them rotting, but I won't have to water them. I miss warm, sunny days.

6. Our friends have kids graduating from high school.

We didn't think we would be invited to any open houses this year, and we have four invitations so far. And the kicker is most of them are from people our own age (or awfully close to it.) They're the parents of high school graduates. How are we this old? Didn't we just graduate from high school ourselves?

7. The actors in the Hallmark movie I watched this week are married in real life.

On Memorial Day, Hallmark ran a marathon of summer movies, and one of them was Love at Sea. I'd seen it before but kept it on while I was busy working on my chores. The next day, I discovered the lead actor and actress are married in real life. In the movie, Carlos PenaVega played a cruise director, and Alexa PenaVega played an event planner working on the cruise. I'm sure, if you've ever seen a Hallmark movie in your life, you can imagine what happens from there. I just had no idea they were a real life couple! Clearly I didn't pay attention to the credits.

That's what I learned this month! How about you? Anything fun?

Little Letters

Back on my birthday (so...eeek!...a while ago!) my blog friend Callie did a really fun post called Little Letters. She loves good, old-fashioned blogging as much as I do, so she "tagged" me to write a similar post of my own! I was in the middle of vacation recaps and post-vacation recaps, so this is the first chance I've had to construct such a post!

At first I worried it might be too similar to my "What I Learned This Month" posts that I do on the last day of every month, but after giving it a shot, I really do think it's different enough. So...here's my attempt!

Dear rain...can you please, oh please, go away and not come again another day for a long time? Yes, you have gotten to the point where you just exhaust me so (and make me slightly cranky) but more than that, you're putting the farmers in actual crisis mode. It was annoying at first. Then it became debilitating. Now it's just flat out crop-threatening for this whole season. Can you just stop so they can plant and have an income this year?

Dear wildflower bouquets from Aldi...you really are the best deal in the world. I love being able to spend (very) few dollars and get flowers that last close to three weeks. My kitchen table is brighter because of you and your affordability.

Dear new couch...we love you. You look like you were made for our home, and you feel like a blanket. Everyone from age four to eighty-six has agreed about that. Perhaps we didn't fully think through how people may never want to leave you when they come to visit.

Dear America Says...if I ever took a shot at being on a game show, you're the one I pick. I'm far too dumb for Jeopardy and far too ditzy for Common Knowledge. But for some reason, I'm pretty great at your clues. (And I am also aware I'd freeze in fright if actually given this opportunity.)

Dear Bates girls...I love your weddings. I may have urged the magazines to HURRY with the obligatory first pictures so I could start seeing your pictures on Instagram. Every single one is lovely in its own way.

Dear Bible commentators...thank you for devoting your time to preserving your wisdom on paper. I love being able to look up passages and learn all behind-the-scenes things like cultural context, original word meaning, and more. I'm sure the hours of research, study, and writing exhausted you at times, but this girl is so grateful. 

Dear humanity...can I please implore you once more to not comment on a woman's pregnancy unless you actually see the baby exiting her being in that exact moment? Thank you! (Says the girl whose pregnancy was commented on yesterday...only I'm not pregnant. I do, however, have a new level of self-esteem. Spoiler alert: it didn't go up!)

Dear pretty glass jars...I love how you brighten up my kitchen. Shopping the house to rearrange a few things all for show totally paid off. And I guess this little letter should be co-addressed to Pinterest, which is where I got the idea to display things in cute jars. 

Dear inspiration...I'm in the middle of a writing project, so could you please do your best to show up on a regular basis? I have goals of completing this in a very timely manner and need you to be present and accounted for so that can actually happen.

Dear warranties...you rock. Thank you for taking care of the blinds we had that woke up one morning refusing to work properly anymore. And thank you, blinds, for conking out before the warranty expired. 

Dear scrapbooks...you make me so, so happy. I love sitting with you and reliving the good and the difficult of this Shafferland life. Thanks for holding our story and keeping it safe. (And settling the answers to the questions of what everyone wore on last year's holidays so we don't do it again this year.)

Those are my little letters today...do you have any little letters to write? 

Making the Goals and Finding the Balance

Is it okay if I think out loud with you today? (If not, maybe you should stop now.)

It's been just short of nine years since my world was upended by a relationship loss. I distinctly remember Memorial Day weekend that year being sickeningly, sticky hot. I wandered aimlessly outside for hours, pacing through the grounds of the IWU campus, because for as miserable as the outside proved to be, the inside of my house felt just as suffocating.

The whole summer looked a lot like that weekend, actually. Lots of pacing and praying in conditions that were probably way more unsafe than I knew. But I also remember the day in late summer/early fall, when I knew in my heart that I had to start living real life again. The loss was permanent, and though I feared it may hurt forever, I had to start being an active participant in humanity again.

One problem: I had no idea how to do that.

So I did the only thing I could think to do: I went to Wal-Mart, bought a day planner, brought it home, cracked it open, and started planning.

I planned silly little things at first. Laundry. Cooking a meal. Paying bills. But for the first time in months, rather than doing those things out of last-minute desperation, I planned them ahead. I made them important.

And slowly, I started planning actual fun things that I knew I would enjoy. And eventually, the routine of planning ahead ushered me back into real life as I had once known it. (Well. Life as I had once known it was actually completely over, but a newer, healthier normal replaced it.)

I've never looked back from being a day-planner girl since then. I'd used them randomly, on and off, prior to that season, but since then, I've learned I function best with a planner in hand. And what a delight it is to know that I married a man who loves planning ahead just as much as I do. We're the planner people.

The problem is...not everyone in our lives adores planning the same way we do. And one of the hardest parts for us is finding that balance between planning ahead so we can function at our best and leaving enough margin in the squares of the planner to make room for last minute things that pop up.

The months since Nita's death have been a bit on the floundering side for me where schedules are concerned. I told Ryan that from the moment I quit my job almost four years ago, until the moment his mom died, I've had almost a constant stream of obligations roll my way. It started with organizing our house, and then we moved. I organized a new house and then my mom had a hip replacement. Then she had double knee replacements. Then Ryan's mom got sick and passed away. Suddenly, I had no idea what to do next.

I determined in the last couple of weeks that I needed to establish a new routine, and yesterday was the first day. I have a morning schedule and an afternoon schedule, and my hope is to stick to them as closely as I am able, so I can begin to see what I'm capable of achieving in each time frame. (My morning work is completely different from my afternoon work.) Taking on these new roles means some of the regular-life stuff I've done throughout the day might need to be moved to the evening, so I've been trying to figure out how to make room in our typically-packed nights to get everything accomplished.

And in typical Bekah-fashion, unexpected things crept in that very first day. I had to remember the importance of putting aside some of my own goals (which were really important to me) and roll with what the day brought.

If you're a fellow-planner, you know that's a tough one!

(And if you're not a fellow-planner, but you know and love some, hopefully this helps you understand how our plan-loving minds are wired!)

I fully believe with every part of my soul that this ongoing tug-of-war in my heart is part of the way God is pruning and shaping me right now. I believe He has things He wants me to learn about how to be a responsible, proactive planner girl and yet hold those plans loosely so I can be available for Him to bring into my life the plans He has for me. (For us. They usually involve Ryan too.)

I don't have an answer on how all this works. (Sorry! If you were reading along hoping for an answer, there isn't one. Spoiler alert!)

But I said this to Ryan last night: "There are a lot of things I don't know. But I do know this much - I love Jesus with all my heart and I want to serve Him and do the work He has for me. And I love you with all my heart and I want the best marriage we can possibly have. Those are the two things I do know."

So for now, I'll keep filling in the squares on my planner. I'll ask God each day how I can best serve Him and love Ryan that day and then I'll do it all over again the next day. And in all of that, I hope He will teach me the balance of making the goals and letting Him interrupt as needed.

Memorable Memorial Day

We had the biggest case of the giggles this week! So if laughter is the best medicine, I'd call us awfully healthy. Laugh along with us if you'd like!

 Listen here

We had a pretty full weekend around here - memorable in mostly good ways. (Appropriate for Memorial Day, right?)

After Ryan got off work Friday night, we met my parents at the phone store so Ryan could help dad with some phone stuff. Ryan is so good about all that. He's knowledgeable, patient, etc. So while they talked shop, Mom and I hung out on the sidelines and had our own fun.

And then we all had dinner together at Culver's. Ever had their Strawberry Fields salad? It's delicious. I mean, it's not a butter burger, but it's still delicious!

In a rare holiday weekend twist, Ryan had Saturday off work, and we had a full and wonderful day of doing chores at home. We were so behind on everything from the busyness of the year to this point, so it was refreshing to have a day at home to work!

He started out by doing the Murph workout at his gym. (You may be familiar with it - I have read a lot about it on social media this weekend. If you're not familiar, it involves running a mile, doing 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 squats, and running another mile.) He did GREAT! I was so proud of him!

Before:

After:

The whole gang:

Great job, Ryan!! :)

Ryan took down a tree that was in a really bad spot in our yard. We didn't plant it...it was here when we arrived, but we decided it was better to remove it before it got completely out of control. We are going to replace it with something much more appropriate for that space.

It rained and stormed on and off all day Saturday, so we sort of had to do the work in shifts, between bouts of rain.

After we both got cleaned up from our sweaty, smelly selves, we went to Dairy Queen to try out the Blizzard flights before they go away. We split this one, and it was SO DELICIOUS!!!

(The flight includes three mini-Blizzards in any of the six summer flavor choices. We did caramel cannonball, Oreo cookie jar, and s'mores.)

We had a HORRIBLE storm here during the night Saturday night, and our yard/porch/house had debris everywhere when we woke up Sunday morning. (Sampling below.)

But Sunday itself was really nice outside, and we were even able to go for a walk that evening!

Ryan did have to work on Monday, so I made it a work day for myself too! :) We both got a lot accomplished, and when he got home in the afternoon, he suggested we go on a quick date. Ice cream was involved - which made this the most perfect holiday weekend ever. We went to Scoops, which is SO GENEROUS with its servings. This is actually a single scoop serving. SINGLE!!!

We had to lick fast...it wasn't sweltering out, but our ice cream melted quickly!

Then we went for a walk in the park. It was so crowded out there. Everyone was taking full advantage of the sunshine while it lasted, and it was fun to see so many people out!

We had invited one of our friends over to have a cookout last night (or cook-in if it rained). This was brilliant. She showed up with our version of a bottle of wine:

She said, "I know you're supposed to bring wine when you are invited to dinner, but since none of us drink, I chose this instead." BRILLIANT!!!! YES!!!!

Ryan grilled burgers for us, made tater tots in the air fryer, and grilled this zucchini (Dashing Dish recipe). I also made the cake I'd made for the trifle on Mother's Day and used it for the base of a berry shortcake.

Ryan ate tater tots in his shortcake. Something like fries in a Frosty??

And then...the fun began. (Insert sarcasm here.)

It started as just a little rain...

And then it escalated:

And then the sky turned weird colors:

And I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time our friend has waited out severe storms at our house. I fear she may stop accepting our invitations.

It eventually passed over us, and while there were tornados around us, we were fine.

A memorable Memorial Day weekend...but mostly for good reasons!

Some Graduation Fun!

Howsabout a little Monday fun?

If you're on Facebook, you might have seen this fun little quiz circulating recently. I decided to do it today, since the post I planned to use today isn't quite done yet. It's been fun to read people's answers and to think about my own senior year, which took place twenty-three years ago now. (WHAT?!)

1. Did you know your significant other?

Well, there's a big difference between knowing him and making eye contact with him. Did I know him? Yes. Did I talk to him? No way. He was way too popular for this wallflower!! But for those of you who may not know, yes, we did go to the same high school, and I was a year ahead of Ryan.

2. What kind of car did you drive?

I was the proud driver of a little blue/gray Ford Escort that my parents bought when I was in elementary school. (The photo above is from my freshman year of college, but it's one of the few photos I have of that car. I hadn't learned the value of documenting just yet.) Once I got my license, this car became "mine," and it's also the one I took with me to college. After my college graduation, my parents let me use it as a trade-in on the purchase of my own first Bekah-mobile.

3. Where did you work? 

I was a babysitter! I started sitting in junior high and continued throughout high school. I had four primary families, though I would occasionally sit for others, too. Those four families kept me busy most weekends - and every now and then, weeknights, too.

4. Where did you live?

Good old small-town, central Indiana! Same county where we live now, in fact. God hasn't led us too far from home so far!

5. Were you popular?

Oh goodness, no. That wasn't so fun back then, but I am so thankful for it now. As I look back on what sorts of troubles and temptations I could have found myself in if I'd run with a more popular crowd, I'm thankful God kept it simple for me. Having said that, I would also like to say I had a fantastic group of friends that are still dear to me to this day. They were good to me, loyal, and I'm grateful to still have them! (This isn't a complete photo, but I didn't have many group photos, so this encompasses a good number of them.)

6. Were you in choir? 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I can't sing. Ryan was in choir, though, and he loved it! I did take a music history class one year, and that proved to be one of my most favorite high school classes I ever took. I did participate in the talent show my senior year and got to hang out with my friends who WERE in choir! Does that count?

7. Ever get suspended from school? 

Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even have dared to get sent to the office!! Suspended? Nope.

8. If you could go back, would you?

Absolutely not. I am grateful for the growing I did during that year, but you couldn't pay me any amount of money to go back. It was not my favorite season of life.

9. Still talk to the person that you went to prom with? 

Well, I didn't go to prom, so that presents a pickle, doesn't it? I believe on prom night, I went to Fazoli's for breadsticks and Coke. I survived my senior year on a significant dose of carbs. :)

10. Did you skip school?

Technically, yes, but also technically, no. How's that for an answer? Our senior class trip was a long weekend trip to Washington D.C. Those who didn't go were required to come to school. I didn't go on the trip, but everyone knew that coming to school on that day meant you were the ultimate nerd, so I arranged a college visit day. (Skipping outright would not have been permitted.) So one of my friends and I spent the day at IWU. And it's not documented at all. Oh, Baby Bekah. You failed your future self.

11. Go to all the football games? 

How about never went to a single one? My first high school football game came on the night of Ryan's 20th class reunion when he and his classmates went to the homecoming game.

12. What was your favorite class? 

Hmmm. Probably Home Ec. I took pretty much all the Home Ec classes I could. I liked playing house, so those were fun. But I also really enjoyed cadet teaching. (If that's not a thing where you are...it was a class where juniors and seniors could spend a class period over at the elementary school, helping out in a classroom there. I helped in my mom's class.) 

13. Do you still have your yearbook?

Yes, although it's in storage. I was actually on the yearbook staff my senior year. Our teacher was a first-year, fresh-from-college teacher who had no experience in teaching yearbook and had no idea she was going to BE teaching yearbook when she took the job. It may not have been the best situation. She gave it her all, but she had no idea what she was doing. 

14. Did you follow the career path you wanted? 

Pretty sure I didn't know what I wanted to do, and some days I still don't know! I wanted to be a teacher, but I didn't want to do all the non-teaching requirements that were already starting to show themselves even back then. I wanted to write novels until I got to college and found out I'm terrible at writing fiction. I wanted to be a secretary (which I did do upon several occasions early in life) and a pastor's wife (which is off the table unless God calls Ryan into the ministry)!

15. Do you have a class ring?

No, but I always wanted one. I had a friend who would sometimes let me wear hers for a day so I could enjoy the experience. 

16. Who was your favorite teacher?

Senior year? Boy, that's a toughie. I'm not sure I had a favorite that year. 

17. Did you graduate with a 3.0 or higher? 

I forgot, until I saw the quiz on Facebook (posted by a fellow Eastern Comet) that our school ran on a 12 point scale, so I'm not 100% sure of my GPA. I did graduate in the top 10% of my class (barely) so I am sure it probably was higher than a 3.0. (If I had been one class higher or lower, I would have been waayyyyyyyyyyy down the academic line. Those two classes were saturated with tons of super smart people.)

18. How old were you at graduation? 

Barely 18. Since the calendar year that year matches this one, I know I turned 18 on Tuesday, had my last day of classes on Wednesday, and graduated on Sunday. So I hadn't even been 18 for a whole week when I graduated. (Big week!) 

So how about you? Any fun answers to any of these?

The Shafferland Shuffle

It's been a good little week around here. A bit more of our return to normal, and we are grateful for it! Here were some of our favorite moments!

* Last Sunday, we picked up Phoebe on our way home from church and kept her for the rest of the day. The majority of the day was rainy (okay, stormy) so we did a lot of hunkering down on the couch and cuddling. :) And in the one break in the storms we had, we dashed outside for a potty break. (That part was all her. I prefer indoor plumbing.)

* Monday morning was office time for me and nap time for Braeya. That afternoon, I had to scurry to Marion to take some senior pictures for a friend. I looked awful, but the senior was photogenic, which is all that really matters. And the park looked lovely, despite the lack of flowers (thanks, cold and rain!) That night, Ryan mowed the yard, I had a meeting at church, and we had to have our picture taken for the new church directory. There are no pictures of any of that, because we were so busy running from one thing to the next that we failed to document any of it!

* I took our car in for a tire rotation on Tuesday morning. The shop had rearranged all its furniture, which I don't think is a sentence I've ever typed before. I liked the new setup much better! You can see out the windows now, instead of staring at tire inventory. I worked all day, and then worked out at the gym that evening. (It was so hot in there. I better have lost five pounds of sweat!!) And I made a fancy little chicken and asparagus dinner.

* I drove down near Indianapolis on Wednesday to meet some ladies for a lunch meeting. I'd never been to Applebee's before on a weekday at lunch, so I didn't know they had a nice little lunch menu! Delicious! By the time I got home, there was this mysterious blue in the sky...what is that? Whatever the cause, we took advantage of the chance to go for a walk!

* Thursday morning I watched one of my friends' kids for a little bit and then took him to preschool for his last day this year! Ryan had to grill out at his work for lunch, so I met my mom and some of her friends for a lunch and coffee! And that night, we worked at Ryan's dad's house again. My painting game resumes!

* Friday night we met up with my parents for my dad to explore the world of phones. Mom and I kept our distance and let Ryan handle the whole thing. He's so good with all the detail work. :) They took us out to eat at Culver's after. I got a salad just so I could get ice cream. LOL!! And I won't lie. I wanted to get ice cream to go, too.

* And yesterday was b.u.s.y. Ryan didn't have to work, but our to-do list at home was about 400 miles long. We had a tree in our yard that was here when we bought the house, but it was way, way, way too big for where it had been planted. We feared it was going to crack our driveway, so we took it down and are going to replace it with something much more appropriately sized. So that took most of the day (and was done in segments in between rain showers/storms). I mowed the yard and did a bunch of cooking, and when we were done with all our work, we went to Dairy Queen to try the mini-blizzard flight. They still have them through the end of the month if you want to try it out! Three mini-Blizzards that feature their summer flavors. OH! And I forgot - Ryan started the day with this crazy long, involved, HARD workout at his gym. It was a Memorial Day weekend special. I was proud of him for doing so well!

The Saturday Six

One.

I'm really more of a grab-a-paper-towel-on-your-way-to-eat-on-the-couch kind of girl when it comes to napkins, but maybe it wouldn't kill me to learn some pretty REAL napkin folds. Are you a fancy-napkin-folder kind of person? Here are a few ideas if you are (or want to be)!

Two.

My Little House on the Prairie nerd emerges again with this part. I had been looking on Pinterest for (future) road trip ideas for visiting the various Little House locations. I've been to some, but not all. Because of my search, I ended up finding this post by a homeschooling mom who did a whole summer-long unit study on the entire book series. Her kids had their very own Little House in their backyard, they learned to cook the food, make the crafts, and all sorts of other things! Absolutely FASCINATING.

Three.

I hadn't planned to write an article for Annesley this month because of all the busyness of speaking, but I ended up writing one anyway, and they published it this week! Here it is!

Four.

I am so weird about decorating. Part of it is that I'm ridiculously cheap. When I read decorating blogs, and I read that someone found some itty bitty thing for "only" $300, I about choke. Part of it is that I like my décor to tell a personal story. It's not about a theme as much as it's about a story for me. So I wasn't sure I was going to find anything to fall in love with on KariAnne's "best finds under $50" post. But I love her writing, so I read the post. And I must stay that there were some real keepers on the list!! Check it out!

Five.

I follow pretty much the whole Bates clan (Bringing Up Bates) on Instagram, and I've enjoyed watching Erin, Whitney, and Carlin begin their new boutique!! I think they have some really cute stuff! (I haven't recovered from floral dresses from the 90s, but I can handle the rest. And the floral ones are cute. I just can't bring myself to go back to it.)

Six.

Monday is Memorial Day, which TOTALLY crept up on me. One of my friends texted me asking about our weekend plans, and that was the first I remembered it was a holiday weekend! Here in Indiana, it's all about the race (which probably has a good chance of getting rained out if our weather patterns continue) and I know many people kick off summer this weekend. Lake cottages open up for the first time, people go camping, there are a gazillion cookouts - and there's nothing wrong with any of that! But if you need a little something to read/inspire you about the true meaning of Memorial Day, check out this post. It's not a heavy or long read, but it might teach or remind you of something you need to know!