Surprise Kids

Last summer, I posted a couple of times (found here and here) about a Focus on the Family broadcast that quickly touched a very raw spot in my heart.

For several weeks after hearing the broadcast and reading the book, my blood pressure remained in the upper registers, because I wanted to scream from the mountaintops that unexpected kids are worthwhile too. But I put the topic (and the book) away for a while. Last Sunday, I felt that I could bring this topic back into my life and do some writing of my own.

This is why I post now. If you were a surprise kid, and you have any feelings (good or bad) about what it has been like to grow up knowing that your presence wasn't planned by your parents, and you don't mind sharing your thoughts, I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at bekahsbits-at-yahoo-dot-com if you would like.

As a side comment, just today when I went back to locate those two posts to attach them here, I discovered that the author of the book Surprise Child left me a comment in the first post - apparently after I stopped checking for comments. I was not ignoring her feedback - I just didn't know it was there.

So my response to her words, in case she ever stops back to see, is this: Leslie, I do not think you are a horrible woman. I tried to make that clear in the letter I wrote to Focus on the Family and also in the things I posted on my blog. My hurt came not from you as a person but simply from the approach of the presentation. Let me reiterate that I don't begrudge you the feelings you experienced nor the right to share those feelings. I am aware that I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, because I have not faced the situation. I have taken the time to wonder how I would react if I did face an unplanned pregnancy, and in those moments of wondering, I have thought of the fear, the questions, the uncertainty that I would no doubt face. I know those things are real and I am thankful that you were given the opportunity to share your story (as I said in my letter) - because other women do need to know they are not alone. I am truly happy to hear from your comment that women have written to you and found hope in your words and that lives have been saved. I in no way want to detract from that blessing and miracle. That is wonderful! But just as God gave David permission to call out from the depths and He gave you permission to share your call from the depths, I believe He gives permission for surprise children like me to call from the depths as well and explain that we have feelings in all this. I do not think that women surprised by pregnancy need to be told to shut up and enjoy the blessing. I think they need to be deeply loved, comforted, supported, and upheld, just as my mother was in her experience of giving life to me. But I also think that the resulting children need to be affirmed, loved, and given a reason to hope for their existance. I hope that though you may not have walked the road of being an unexpected child yourself (although perhaps you were...I do not know), you can somehow see that we also have struggles and it's okay for us to voice them...because in doing so, we can find a way to better understand the answers to the questions of why that we have. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment for me, and please know that I did not respond earlier simply because I did not know you had left a note.