Bits for Sunday, January 20, 2008

Those who know me well know that change is not necessarily my best friend. I’ve written about it before…the combination of baby steps and big steps I’ve taken away from my comfort zone and into something different.

I don’t mind change so much when it’s my idea. Proof positive of that would be found in my house…where I’m forever repainting, changing the furniture, or at the very least, dreaming up the next big plan. Mind you, the plan is probably only going to take place when I win Publishers Clearing House (which I don’t play) or get married (which currently is about as likely as winning PCH). But at least I have a plan ready. When I have time to think about things and ease into something new, I dearly love it. But when it’s tossed to me…well, that’s when I start to scream “Mama!”

For example…I walked into church this morning and the sanctuary had been rearranged. (Now there’s a sentence you never used to be able to say!) A few months ago, we replaced our pews with chairs (an idea I had enough warning on to embrace nicely). When the chairs arrived, the new seating pattern moved from being two sections with a center aisle to three sections with two aisles. That took some adjustment. But I had comfortably settled in…and this morning we were back to two sections with a center aisle. I think Pastor Brian had some fun watching me just stand at the back and stare, wondering where I’d find a new seat for the day.

Another example…at work, we’re moving toward becoming a paperless society. I don’t think anyone can truly understand how much I love paper. I love paper. I love books, I love scrapbooks. I love files. I love binders. I love card stock. I love paper. In fact, I told a couple people at work last week that when the paperless plan goes through, I intend to move a stack of paper to the end of my desk just so I can look at it if I so desire. They all know that this is about as appealing to me as removing my own spleen. Fortunately I have a kind office, and they’re willing to slowly encourage me toward this new and frightening world of dual monitors and on-screen sticky notes.

But for all my hesitation…resistance…firm opposition…whatever you want to call it…here’s the bottom line. Progress exhausts me.
A few years ago, I wrote a little article about the modern office – and how things had changed so much in the few short years I had worked in the real world. I stumbled upon that the other day and found myself longing for the simplicity of that modern office. I gotta tell you that the progress we’ve made since then has absolutely worn me out. Let me just give you an example of that.

This past week, I simply tried to get into a website to discover some information. Once upon a time, that was the extent of the exercise. Want to know something? Get online and find it. Then with the ever-increasing security risks, you had to remember to check for the little lock icon in the screen before entering too much personal information…and I accepted that extra measure with gratitude. Now I have to check for a picture to make sure it appears as I selected it to appear. I also have to hunt down a secure phrase (also of my own choosing) and if it does not appear or does not appear in conjunction with the chosen picture, then I must not pass go, not collect two hundred dollars, and probably not ever be able to use the website again. In addition, I have to answer a revolving security question, which sometimes has trick questions and is always case sensitive…therefore causing me to panic each time that I’ll answer it wrong and be turned in to the authorities for simply trying to be…myself. Once I pass that test, then I must remember my ID and password.

Another site I use requires that I change my password every so many days (which feels like five) and never at any point in time from now until the nursing home, can I use any form of the previous password in the new password. I don’t even know that many words, let alone have the capability of remembering them on the shifting basis.

My favorite one came at work this week, when I logged in (incorrectly, because I forgot I had just changed my password to something it has never before been and can never be again) and had to pass the “are you a human?” test by retyping the mystery phrase. The combination of letters, spaces, and numbers was so distorted that…you guessed it…I typed it in wrong and had to try again. Once I finally copied the hieroglyphic wannabe correctly, it let me in, only to tell me I needed a combination of information about the student…and of course I didn’t have that. I got into the screen I wanted just in time to remember that because of heightened security measures, I couldn’t access everything from that screen…so I went jumping from screen to screen writing down the information as I gathered it (gasp! The use of paper!) so I could find what I wanted.

The problem?

By the time I got there, I forgot what I wanted to know.

So there I sat, irritated, forgetful, and exhausted.

And amid it all, I had a piece of paper that required shredding at the conclusion of the matter.

And change is good????