I MADE IT!!! - Day Thirty

That is code for "the greatest of these is love." Thirty days of focusing on love. Thirty days of learning to live a life consciously centered around loving others. Thirty days of retraining a mind mostly centered on self and ick...before.

I have to admit it wasn't an easy day. One time I found myself wallowing in a pity party when someone wasn't giving me the attention I thought I deserved. But I quickly reminded myself that it's not about me. I had to catch myself mid-eyeroll on a few occasions and remember that people's quirks are part of their charm - and I need to cut them some slack.

And at the end of the day, I have to say I was quite put out. I'm a girl who likes to live based on principle. And at the end of today, I found out one more of my carefully crafted principles had been shot down the tubes. I hate it when those things are out of my control and I am forced to succumb to someone else's rules. And on the walk to my car this evening, I had to sternly lecture myself on not letting myself become all uptight...easily angered, in fact??...over this unimportant-in-the-grand-scheme-of-life situation.

The greatest of these is love. The greatest goal is to love. To love God first and then to love everyone around me - whether they fit into my principles or not.

I'm not perfect at this (clearly). And I know that there will be many times in the days to come when it won't be my first nature to love. It may not even be my second or third. But, to go back to Jaena's admonition from the early days, I am very excited to see the changes in my heart since I did this 30 day experiment. I'm excited that I think about what I'm doing wrong WHILE I'm doing it instead of three days later. I think it's great that I'm beginning to stop the unloving behavior actually before it starts. I'm a work in progress...but I'm getting there.

I remember in some of those first days, I really thought I would not make it to this point. I thought I would surely die. And I haven't. I don't intend to give up the love now that the appointed time has passed. And it will seem odd to not report on it daily.

Would I take the challenge all over again? Of course!! If only I could be allowed to wait until the bold faith experiment is done..............