Last week I told you about my retreat and some of the lessons that God taught me about faith. There was so much more to the weekend than a duck and some candy, though. Here are some other things I learned.
The first day, before the retreat even started, I sat on the pier with my feet dangling in the rather chilly water. It was such a warm day, though, that the cold water felt good lapping over my feet. I was content to stop with my feet, however. I had no desire to be as bold as the couple behind me who actually donned bathing suits and went swimming. But as I sat there, I thought of the old Cathedrals song…Step into the water…wade out a little bit deeper…
It was just a little moment where I was laughing at my southern gospel overload coming back to get me, but God actually brought that moment back to me the next day when I parked under the tree and sat for two hours just listening and learning.
The morning started with a pretty spectacular sunrise – one of the very few I’ve seen in life. Sunsets, I’m all about. Sunrises – well, they’re pretty. If only they came later in the day!
By the time breakfast and our first session had ended and I was back by the water, the brilliant orange sunrise had also gone, but the sun still shone over the waters of the lake. A thousand sparkles glittered in the far reaches of the water…or was it more like a million? I sat there staring at them as they twinkled and fishing boats drifted over top of them. It was like God had opened the gates on the jewel-house of Heaven and poured out all of the finest just for me to see that day. Just a very sweet reminder of His love.
When I looked beyond them, though, toward the other shore of the lake, I realized I couldn’t see it. Though the sun shone, it was a hazy morning there on the water. I squinted, trying to see a large building that I knew stood just across from where I sat. If I studied hard, I could see the outline of the building. But all the detail of its magnificence was lost in the haze.
The first day, before the retreat even started, I sat on the pier with my feet dangling in the rather chilly water. It was such a warm day, though, that the cold water felt good lapping over my feet. I was content to stop with my feet, however. I had no desire to be as bold as the couple behind me who actually donned bathing suits and went swimming. But as I sat there, I thought of the old Cathedrals song…Step into the water…wade out a little bit deeper…
It was just a little moment where I was laughing at my southern gospel overload coming back to get me, but God actually brought that moment back to me the next day when I parked under the tree and sat for two hours just listening and learning.
The morning started with a pretty spectacular sunrise – one of the very few I’ve seen in life. Sunsets, I’m all about. Sunrises – well, they’re pretty. If only they came later in the day!
By the time breakfast and our first session had ended and I was back by the water, the brilliant orange sunrise had also gone, but the sun still shone over the waters of the lake. A thousand sparkles glittered in the far reaches of the water…or was it more like a million? I sat there staring at them as they twinkled and fishing boats drifted over top of them. It was like God had opened the gates on the jewel-house of Heaven and poured out all of the finest just for me to see that day. Just a very sweet reminder of His love.
When I looked beyond them, though, toward the other shore of the lake, I realized I couldn’t see it. Though the sun shone, it was a hazy morning there on the water. I squinted, trying to see a large building that I knew stood just across from where I sat. If I studied hard, I could see the outline of the building. But all the detail of its magnificence was lost in the haze.
Just about then, I turned back to my Bible and found myself in Ephesians 5. A verse said, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” I wrote in my journal, God, Your will is about as clear to me right now as that big building across the lake. I know it’s there, but I can barely see it through the haze. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s enough to know that Your will is there and to trust You to remove the haze when the time is right and I need to see it. Any time before then – it doesn’t matter. Maybe the biggest part of understanding Your will is understanding that it’s YOURS. The haze that shrouds the details will leave only when You’re good and ready for it to.
A breeze kicked up just about then and the water really started to rise and fall beneath its power. I looked out to see waves reach up and then collapse into a valley and even out – and then the process began all over again. I wrote, Fill me up with You just like You filled up this lake with water. And whether this water rises or falls with the wind, there is still water. Let me be so filled with You that whether I have a rush of the Spirit or a dry time, I still have You.
And then came the reminder – of the day before – of stepping into the water. About the will thing, God. Looking out over this lake – it’s just so big. The only way to get from here to there is go get in it. Step into the water. Wade out a little bit deeper. And I bet that as I get closer to the center, I could more clearly see what is across the way.
I am not really any closer to knowing God’s long-term will for my life today than I was that day on the lake. But it was such an eye-opening experience for me, because it taught me that I don’t have to know the whole thing right now. I only have to know the part I can see. And I have to be willing to step out into water that might be cold and deep and big. But just imagine what amazing thing might be on the other side of it!!!
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