Childlike Faith

This is one of my most favorite pictures I've ever taken. Yep, you read that right. I took it.

This little guy is four years old now, but this is still my favorite picture of us. His parents dropped him off at my house one afternoon while they took his older sister to see a movie. It was my first time to watch just him (normally I'd have his sister too), and we had a great time together. When he fell asleep, I just snuggled with him and decided it would make a great photo...

I share this with you because last night I had a dream. Well, it was really more like this morning - in between snooze hits. I know it was a quick dream - because it had to be packed into a 9 minute span - but it was pivotal.

If you've read much of the Bible, you know that God often spoke to people through dreams back then. I don't know how often He does that today, but I know it's not often for me. Or if He does, I need some serious help with interpretation, because I have some WEIRD dreams. Actually I'm waiting for him to bring back the writing-on-the-wall method. I like clarity.

But this dream made an impression. And it included this sweet baby - who is now a cute little boy who delivers the best one-liners I've ever heard and can force you out of any exasperation you may feel toward him with one bat of his long eyelashes.

I walked into the church sanctuary, which was nearly full of people, and the music drifting from the front told me the service was about to begin. The room was very dark. The lights above were shut off, no windows flanked the walls, no candles flickered. The only light came from the open doors at the rear of the room. Though the building was completely unfamiliar to me, as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I was surprised to recognize many who had gathered to worship.

The pews near the back, of course, were full, so I moved forward, carefully picking my way through the dimly lit room. At last I arrived at the front row and found an empty seat next to my good friends. I noticed that the space between the front pew and the platform seemed to serve as the church nursery. Toys were strewn about and small children crawled around chewing on them. That could get distracting.

I don't remember much about the beginning of the service, but a few minutes later, the minister dismissed the children to their own church and all the kids toddled away from the space in front of me toward some destination in the back.

All but Liam.

He stood and looked at me, and I could see even in the dim light that he had a rash on his face and just did not feel good. He looked around at all the toys and then walked right to me and held up his arms. I reached down to pick him up and he looked at me with those big, beautiful eyes. He scratched his face and then curled up and knelt in my lap, snuggling close against me. His lashes fluttered and he fell asleep there in my arms.

The sermon began, and those in the front row kicked stray toys out of their way and settled in to listen. My friends next to me clasped hands and opened their Bibles. And I just sat there, gazing at this little boy. Now and then he'd stir, scratch his face, wince a little, and then he'd settle back in and sleep soundly, cuddled close to me.

And then my nine minutes were up and the alarm blared.

I thought about the dream, including the not-so-spiritual part where I walked in and saw the one person who got on my nerves the most. Seriously? I can dream about all these great friends and THAT'S the person who shows up in the sanctuary first? I'm sure there is a spiritual application to be learned there but I haven't learned it yet.

But it wasn't until I walked in to work, still thinking about the dream, that I found the parallel to my life. Last week in our midweek Bible study at church, we studied the passage where Jesus talked about coming to Him like a child. That imagery has stayed with me and I've been thinking about it a lot. Childlike faith. Childlike trust.

In my dream, Liam was just living life...just playing with toys...just living a Sunday. But then the thing that wore him down got the best of him and he just needed loved and held. All the other kids were going on with their Sundays. But he didn't need to play right then. He needed held. And even in the dimly lit room, he found his way to someone he knew would love him and hold him. He knew that because ever since he was a baby, he'd been held and loved by me. Without hesitation, he climbed up into my lap, curled up, and rested, knowing he was safe.

And isn't that what the Lord is asking of me?

Tightening the Armor

I wasn't sure how to get one of these bad boys in my suitcase when I flew home from Virginia Beach, but today I'm kind of wishing I would have found a way to fold it neatly and bring it home.

Ephesians says to be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. (6:10-11)

I've been telling you a bit about this journey I'm on, and it's had many different stages along the way. This week has been attack mode, apparently. It began Sunday morning and is still going strong. Satan has lashed out at me from nearly every angle.

I'm exhausted.

But I am determined to overcome his schemes. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I am thankful that many times this week I've recognized immediately that Satan is at work, and I've been able to stop and pray or journal or cry out to the Lord for help. This discernment is new for me. I've not really been that great at recognizing attack quickly. And I'm sure I'm not proficient at it now, but I'm thankful for the way God has helped me and has been so faithful to come to my rescue when I have asked Him for help.

Remember that really old Twila Paris song, The Warrior is a Child? That's how I feel this week. A little wounded in my fight. Running to the arms of my Jesus for comfort and aid.

But y'all, I am tightening my armor. I am determined to stand firm. I am determined to quote the Word of Truth against the enemy's lies. I'm holding up my shield and dodging those flaming arrows as best I can.

He is faithful.

McGee's Maiden Voyage

Tonight, the adventures in Bekahland expanded yet again.

I've been blessed with some great friends who have taken me in as part of their family. I'm not related by blood at all but I feel as loved and welcomed as if I'd always been there. They've been so kind as to include me in all sorts of things, and tonight was another moment I got to share with them.

Tonight was the maiden voyage of their boat - McGee. This is Jonathan, who was thrilled to get McGee in the water. I received hourly update messages from him today, letting me know how close to the end of work we were getting. He was ready to go about 8:15 this morning!

We had a great night for a boat launch! I'd never seen such a thing before. We all climbed in McGee and the guy who hauled the boat for them backed right up to the water and Jonathan got us going! This picture was taken when we were still in the parking lot and he was "driving" us toward the water. Such a funny guy.

Side note...one of the things I get to do during this journey is work on some of my fears. This week, God has seen fit to present me with numerous hands-on opportunities for this task. After the boat was in the water, we had to get it to the other side of the road, and our path was through this enormous pipe tunnel. Jonathan drove and his mom and I tried to "steer" the front of the boat through the pipe by pushing against the top of it.

Y'all, there were spiders everywhere in that thing. Not grandaddy longlegs (which I scream at anyway) but actual fat spiders in webs. You have no idea how much I'm petrified of spiders. But I couldn't crash McGee on the maiden voyage, so I had to suck it up and survive the spiders. Mission ACCOMPLISHED.

Jonathan, once out on the lake, was quite thrilled with the adventure.

I found it hysterical that I wore my "Pray" shirt. It wasn't a reflection on his driving skills. Really!

Anytime I'm invited to be a Bekah-razzi, I'm thrilled. So when Jonathan and his cousin, Evan, wanted pictures of their kneeboarding adventures, I was a pretty happy girl. Isn't this just the best sight? Sunset, water, joy.

And of course, what water sporting night is complete unless tricks are involved? They did some 360's on the boards...I was just impressed that I caught it!

Goodnight, sweet lake! I will miss you, but I'll be back to visit soon.

After McGee rested safely and cleanly in his bed, we packed up the SUV and headed home. But the adventure was not done yet! We (all eight of us) pulled into a Taco Bell drive-thru that had an actual path carved out for driving. It wrapped tightly around the building and was not much wider than the vehicle...which, by the way, was still hauling a boat trailer. It's a wonder we made it out of there without taking a good chunk of the landscaping!

We also made it out of there without a spork. And what had I ordered? Cheesy fiesta potatoes. No worries. God gave me two good hands! So it was my first time to eat cheesy fiesta potatoes as finger food - but so much fun!

Speaking of Blossoms...

Appropriately following yesterday's post, I have stories of literal blossoms in my life! :)

I do work with some great people. Thoughtful and kind...and always trying to make me smile!

Yesterday, one of our secretaries surprised me with a belated birthday party-let. She brought me a gift and took pictures of me opening it (which redeemed the lack of pictures during the May office birthday bash).

And she brought these gorgeous flowers!

These came from her yard! I don't think I'd ever leave my yard if such beautiful flowers grew there.

Love them! The blooms are enormous and they have brightened my little corner the last two days.

Today I was bent over a list, working hard, when a knock at my door revealed the delivery of these:

I must tell you that truly, truly, truly, one of my biggest wishes in life is to get flowers at work. I think you've arrived when someone delivers flowers to you.

They were a birthday gift from my Monday lunch date, Jenny. Does she know me, or what? Flower delivery - and purple flowers at that! Thank you, Jenny!!

Blossoms in the Desert

The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. ~ Isaiah 35:1-2

I am on a journey.

A wilderness. A desert. A place that is sometimes lonely but yet precious because in the loneliness, I can sense the Lord's nearness in a way I never have before.

I don't want to stay here.

I don't want to decorate the place and make it my home. I do not aspire to be like the Israelites and camp out for 40 years. But while I'm here, I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to cast aside the fears and bondage of my past and walk into the Promised Land free and whole.

No decorating. But I do love a good blossom in the desert. A little bit of beauty to give me hope that the Promised Land is on the other side of this thing.

Silly though it may sound, that's why I gave the blog a makeover. I was tired of peppy polka dots. I needed something that represented the journey. So I made the thing over.

Silly though it may sound, that's why I went clothes shopping on Saturday. Walked out (after paying of course!) with six new pairs of pants that fit. I walked into the office and one of the girls said You got clothes that fit! Look at you!!

And the other little blossom of my day is this beautiful thing right here:

A brand new prayer journal.

I sat outside on the porch yesterday and filled in the last lines on the last page of the old journal.

There is something breathtaking to me about the blank pages of a new journal. The wonder of what will take place throughout its tenure as my record keeper.

He will send me verses to sustain me.

He will send me song lyrics to replay in my mind for the discouraging moments.

He will send me examples of faithfulness that I can preserve among the pages and read some future day when I need a reminder of such things.

These are my blossoms.

And one day...

...one day...

This thing is going to burst into bloom. I will stand on the other side and gaze upon my promised land.

Thank You, Lord.

The Love of God...

Hard to believe that at this time last week, I was strolling in the sand at Chesapeake Bay. The day is every bit as beautiful as last Sunday, but the scenery (the side of my garage and the extension cord feeding my laptop) is slightly less enthralling.

My trip to the ocean was wonderful in every way. My planes stayed airborne when they should have and landed with a decent amount of grace. My sunburn has morphed from painful to incessantly itchy – and I’m molting like a snake. (ATTRACTIVE.) I have a host of pictures to scrap and Walgreens was kind enough to run a good special this week so I can afford to print them. My suitcase is mostly unpacked (this may be a record!) and I think I’m ready to return to the land of the working.

The chance to see the ocean was a dream come true for me. I wanted to say I’d dipped my toes in something larger than a shower. I wanted to write in the sand and take a picture of whatever I wrote. I wanted to walk barefoot along the beach and pick up shells. I wanted some sun. (Can we say WISH FULFILLED?)

And I rather hoped that somewhere in all those dream fulfillments, God would show up with something to say. He and I have been talking a lot lately. (A lot more than usual – and we usually chat often.) And I was definitely not disappointed with the conversation we had that day.

I stood there, water swirling over my ankles, looking out at blue waves that were only interrupted by piers and the occasional boat. I loved it that I couldn’t see a shore in front of me. Just water…water…water…sky.



As usual, a song came to mind. As usual, it was the David Phelps version.

Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky
Oh love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure -
The saints’ and angels’ song.

I looked to the right and the left and tried to imagine thick, black ink filling the water covered sand…down to depths I couldn’t even imagine. I looked overhead and tried to fathom writing on a sky that was wider and higher than I knew…and I’d just flown in it. I looked down at the twisted, broken sticks littering the beach and imagined each of them carved out with a tip for writing. I looked at the countless people scattered about and knew that they were only a fraction-let of the people on the planet.

And surrounded by all that greatness, I thought of those next words…to write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole though stretched from sky to sky.

I stood on a few square inches of a beach where I could see just a few miles of that whole ocean. If the entire expanse (times all the oceans in the world) can’t contain His love – wow.

God and I are on a journey. It’s a bigger journey than I can comprehend. And I’m thankful that His love is even greater still. How measureless and strong!

A Glimpse...

Consider this fair warning: this post contains a lot of pictures and this time, I'm not Bekah the roving reporter. This is a glimpse into not only my evening, but my heart.

My sister, Julie, and I went to Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis last night for a Gaither Homecoming concert. It was her first one ever and my first one in a long time. Here we are - and you can see that just a few other folks showed up for the evening as well. :)
The concert was her birthday gift to me, and what a great gift! But beyond the fact that I'm a Gaither junkie and was a full force Bekah-razzi last night (93 pictures and you're welcome for not posting all of them), this evening was perfectly timed. I haven't gone into a lot of detail on the blog but I'm walking a journey right now, and this night was manna in my wilderness. Thank You, Lord for having Your hand in everything about my life, right down to the Gaither song set.

Bill started out the night with the song "Old Friends," and while I was mostly spending that time messing with camera settings and getting all settled in my seat, I can tell you that in this journey I walk, I am so thankful for friends. Friends who seem to understand that there are times right now when I can't call or text or hang out, because I'm listening to God and that takes silence and concentration. Friends who understand that sometimes I must melt down and in just a couple minutes, I will be okay.

Gordon Mote plays the piano for all the Homecoming concerts, and he's played for a bunch of country artists as well. What a great sense of humor he has! (My favorite moment was when Mark Lowry sat down with him, traded his glasses for Gordon's sunglasses, and then said, "Well no wonder you can't see! These are filthy!") Gordon can play a trillion times better without his sight than I ever could with two good eyes and eleven years of lessons. And though I'll never play like Gordon, what a great reminder that I don't have to see to walk forward in faith.

The Isaacs joined Gordon for some singing early on. I've had a picture of Becky (in the white shirt) on my blog before...she's someone that people tell me I look like. You know, when they're not telling me I look like Flo from Progressive. These three are siblings. Sonya is wearing the black shirt, Ben is - well, he's the guy! - and then Becky is in the white shirt.

I was very excited to see that the Martins were part of the evening. I have been a huge fan of their music since I was in college (and we won't talk about how many years ago that's been, now) and I have even seen them in their own concerts a couple of times. AMAZING family harmony. (They are also siblings. Joyce is on the left, Jonathan is in the middle and Judy is on the right).

They sang one of my all-time favorites from their repertoire: All People That on Earth Do Dwell. In addition, they sang a song I'd never heard before, but it could not have been more perfectly timed for my wilderness journey. It's called The Promise and here are some of the lyrics that caused a tear or two to roll down my cheeks:

I never said that fear wouldn't find you in the night

Or that loneliness was something you'd never have to fight

But I did say I'd be right there by your side and I did say I'll always help you fight

'Cause you know I made a promise that I intend to keep

My grace will be sufficient in your time of need

My love will be the anchor that you can hold onto

This is the promise, this is the promise I've made to you.

So keep on walking - don't turn to the left or right

And in the midst of the darkness let this be your light:

That hell can't separate us and you're gonna make it through

This is the promise, this is the promise I've made to you.

Russ Taff also came out to do a couple of songs. Several years ago, Russ sang baritone for the Vocal Band.

The Isaacs came back out to do some more songs...this time with their Mom, Lily. They did two songs that I knew from having watched them on the Gaither Reunited project: The Three Bells and I Will Praise Him. The Three Bells gets stuck in my head for days, but I think their rendition of I Will Praise Him is the best I've ever heard.

Bill helped them out on The Three Bells. :) I didn't take any pictures of I Will Praise Him because I was in full worship/absorb mode at that time!

Lynda Randle sang the last songs before the Vocal Band came on. I love her voice - probably because it's right in my range! :) And the last song she sang was "He Will Carry You." More great words:

There is no problem too big God cannot solve it

There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it

There is no storm too dark God cannot calm it

There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

I know my brother that He will carry you

And then....Alpha and Omega time! I love that song. Here is the (modified) five member Vocal Band. Michael English had surgery a couple of months ago and is apparently (much to Julie's dismay...he was the whole reason she wanted to go!) not back on the road yet. So Marshall Hall filled in for him. But anyway, this was their opening song. So powerful. Alpha and Omega was the song that proved to me the best way for me to learn scripture is to learn it through song. The lyrics are pretty much straight out of Revelation.

I love the Vocal Band's music, but I love their humor too. The banter between Mark and Bill is always hysterical. In this picture, Mark was explaining his arm flab to Bill. In our family, we call this "The Bricker Swing." And I think I'm in the early stages of it.

I told Julie that you know you've watched too much GVB when you know what's coming up and you hold off taking pictures until it arrives. This is from the song Journey to the Sky, and I knew the snapping would make a fun picture. (Heads of people in front of me only added to the joy.)

I almost missed this one. I was trying to time the actual click of the camera. Wes (who is such a powerful singer yet such a little guy!) hits a high note in which they pick him up to "help" him.

Now y'all knew you were not going to get out of this post without a few pictures of David Phelps!

He sang Nessun Dorma...oh my WORD. That song gets me every single time. I can sing every word. :) And I'm now officially learning what they mean.

Did I mention the man can sing?

My favorite picture of the entire night. Love this one. Okay - done with Bekah-razzi. Back to what the night meant. :)

On the left is Wes Hampton, who I thought sounded better last night than I've ever heard him sound ever. And on the right is Marshall Hall, the Michael English fill-in. Marshall used to sing baritone for the Vocal Band.

Wes was belting it out last night. I think this picture was taken during the song Hide Thou Me.

Bill likes to play the piano now and then, so he took over during Hide Thou Me and sent Gordon over to the organ. Because oh yes, he can also play the organ.

The guys gathered around the piano to sing with Gordon. Who, by the way, can also sing. (Bill said he - Bill - was thinking of running for president and he was going to make Gordon secretary of transportation.)

David and Mark Lowry. This was not the time he sang this, but since I'm talking about Mark, I'll talk about it now. In the second half (actually right at the very end of the concert) he sang this song called Make it Real. I'll admit that historically this song has not been one of my most favorite Vocal Band songs. But again, this time it was so appropriately timed. I started crying almost as soon as he started singing. Some of the lyrics:

I can't fill the emptiness inside of me

Or calm the troubled waters of my mind

So if You're really out there and You're listening

Then prove to me that those who seek will find.

If You can just see fit to show me some of Who You are

If You can shed some light into this broken sinner's heart

I need to know the truth and I need something I can feel

I need You to make it real.

There must be some good reason why You brought me here

Through valleys where the shadows hover close

Down here there's a mask to cover every face

But Your sweet Face I long to see the most

So if You think there's just the slightest hope for me

In spite of all my questions and my doubts

Then let me hear Your still small Voice speak out my name

And let me know what others talk about.

The part that really got me was when, halfway through the song, he did something I've never heard him do before on this song. He broke away from it long enough to sing I Believe; Help Thou My Unbelief. I just learned this song not long ago, and I have been singing it in the car nearly every day lately.

I believe; help Thou my unbelief

I take the finite risk of trusting like a child

I believe; help Thou my unbelief

I walk into the unknown trusting all the while

I long so much to feel the warmth that others seem to know

But should I never feel a thing, I claim Him even so

God got my attention with that one.

The second half of the concert was the true Homecoming style singing. It started out with Buddy Greene tearing it up on the harmonica. (He tried to redeem the bad name it's gotten through the years. He can play the daylights out of that thing!)

The Martins did another little part of a group song. I loved all the hymns they sang in the second half. My years of rebelling against hymns have long past and I now really appreciate them for the richness they have!

Charlotte Ritchie sang a few solos throughout the night. This one was from when she sang Tell Me the Story of Jesus.

For some of the songs, they played footage in the background of those same songs sung years earlier with Homecoming singers who have now died. This particular one was taken during Rock of Ages. Vestal Goodman sang the solo on this during the taping for Down by the Tabernacle. I was at that taping when I was a sophomore in college! I knew as soon as they started the music for this song that they'd be using her solo!

Speaking of Vestal...right after that, they brought out this guy. Logan Smith is his name, and they said he's 13. He is a Vestal fan through and through. He sang "What a Lovely Name" and definitely had the Vestal vibe going on! That kid can SING.

Toward the end of the concert, Woody Wright came out to sing a solo.

The next to the last song they did was one I've written about on here before: I Then Shall Live. As I've said before, if I had to condense my life's hope into a song, this is it. As I have walked the steps of this journey - which isn't done yet - I have prayed over and over to be faithful to the Lord and to what He is asking of me at this time.

I am His child and I am not afraid...I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges...When relationships demand commitment, then I'll be there to care and follow through...Your Kingdom come around and through and in me...Your power and glory, let them shine through me...Your hallowed name, oh may I bear with honor...and may Your living Kingdom come in me.

The last song of the concert was Because He Lives...another one I've been singing over and over. That song was sung at my baby dedication 32 years ago, and I've always thought it must have a very special place in my life.

But greater still...this calm assurance...we can face uncertain days because He lives. Because He lives...I can face tomorrow...Because He lives, all fear is gone...Because I know...I know He holds my future...my life is worth the living just because HE LIVES.