The Shafferland Shuffle

Happy Sunday, my friends! Hope you all are having a great weekend! (I spent all day yesterday in a ski lodge, so I have now entered prayer mode. Please keep me safe from the germs that took me out last year!) But back to this week...

* Last Sunday morning, our friends were still visiting us, and they went to church with us, even! Ryan and I helped serve communion, and then we came home for long, long naps. We didn't go to a party for the game...but we did have our own little grilling/air fryer party at home. We weren't really pumped about the teams playing, so my personal favorite part was the National Anthem.

* We were on our way to Ryan's mom's Monday night when we encountered the most darling little tiny house/truck that houses a coffee shop! We had seen it around town recently, but this was the first we had stopped to try it. It was DELICIOUS. (And the owner was really good to me, which won me over as a customer. He wasn't confident he could make the drink like I wanted it, so he gave it to me on the house.) We had a good evening with Ryan's mom: at one point we were all studying our Bibles together!

* I don't know what it's like where you live, but around here, potholes have just appeared EVERYWHERE from NOWHERE, sometimes in a matter of hours. When we went to Ryan's mom's Monday night, our road was fine. When we came home in the dark, we thought there was some leftover ice patch in the road. When the sun came up Tuesday, we discovered it was this huge pothole/sinkhole looking thing. It has gotten worse and worse all week and every time someone runs over it, it sounds like they're knocking on our door. Crazy! I had to warn our small group about it before they came over so none of them lost a car or tire or anything. And then there was the crowning Shaffer moment Tuesday night when we went to the grocery store to pick up a couple random things we'd forgotten...and no one thought to take money to pay for it. Whoopsie! So I sat with the groceries and Ryan went home for money.

* I was SO EXCITED to see the mail come on Wednesday, because my scrapbooks were in there!!! Two more for the collection. So happy. I also made my first latte for someone else that day. It was a bit unnerving. It's not like a batch of cookies where you can sneak one to make sure it tastes okay. "Oh yes. I took a quick sip to make sure it was good..." That night we went to a viewing for a lady we used to go to church with, and we were there a couple of hours. It's always sad to get together with friends for funerals, but it is always good to see a bunch of people I've not seen for a long time!

* When I tried to get ready Thursday, I ended up smearing mascara on my nose. I don't think that's the part of my face I want to accentuate, but it made for a good laugh. We went out to Ryan's mom's, and when we arrived, we discovered a tree had come down over the driveway. Ryan hauled it into the side ditch so we could get through. (I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd been alone! Walk, I guess.) We had a good evening with Nita; Ryan's boss made a delicious pot roast for us to take out to her, and we got to enjoy it too!

* Several weeks ago, I posted about Cindy, who was a patient when my mom was a patient last year. Friday morning I got a surprise picture of her with Ryan. Brightened my whole morning! We had to go shopping Friday night, and we stopped by the Goodwill to look for a jacket for Ryan to wear while he went skiing yesterday. Didn't find one, but we did find a gravy boat warmer. Those are actual things? And you know what? Some weeks just call for a hamburger. I'd wanted one for days and days and he took me to get one at Wendy's, which I love.

* And that brings us back to ski day!! Ryan and Shawn had such a great time skiing last year that they wanted to go again this year. We weren't sure it could happen with Ryan's mom's health being so uncertain, but we decided to schedule the day and just cancel it if necessary. But it worked out! We got up crazy stupid early and drove to southern Indiana. I camped out in the lodge for the day, writing and reading and people-watching. (And hopefully not germ-catching.) and the guys had a blast. It was a beautiful day, so several hundred other people had the same idea.

The Saturday Six

One.

I don't know whether or not I've posted a link like this one before, but even if I have, maybe you need to see it again! Blanket scarves: yes or no? I have one that I think is the size of a blanket scarf, but I've never learned to tie it. I'm also not sure blanket scarves would be flattering on me. Do you have to be tiny to wear one? I don't even know. But if you have them/like them/are intrigued by them, check out this tutorial on how to tie it!

Two.

We have a table almost exactly like this one, and I'm pretty sure the chairs ARE the same. I'm not gonna lie...this freshening up looks pretty tempting! (Ryan, please don't groan.) Have any of you done furniture makeovers like this before?

Three. 

We have a cloche in our bedroom, and I have some shells and driftwood in it, but I feel like it's overall lacking that decorative punch. I found this post that has some great ideas for making beach-inspired cloche décor look complete, not in-progress. If you have one at your house, this might give you some ideas, too!

Four.

Valentine's Day is this coming Thursday, and I found this snack mix idea that I think has even more goodness to it than the post tells. The post shows it as a snack mix for kids, where they count out specific numbers of each ingredient to make their own snack serving. That is, of course, a great idea (and a fun way to work on counting skills if you have a little one) but I think it could be easily modified as a party or break-room snack! Just let people mix and match what they love the most (counting excluded) and have a DIY snack mix bar!

Five.

I totally understand (and respect!) that being single isn't difficult for every unmarried person. I also totally understand (and respect) that for some, it's really hard. I was one of the latter in my single days. I craved marriage so much, and I did my best to live a full and meaningful life, even though I didn't have a husband. I know many of you read Kelly Stamps' blog, and she has a huge heart for single girls, much like I do. She shared a really heartfelt post this week, and if you haven't seen it already, take a look. (Even if you aren't single and longing, it might help you understand your friends who are!)

Six.

I think the Polar Vortex got to me. I just needed a virtual vacation, preferably to somewhere beach-like. So my book last week took me to just such a place. A while ago, my friend Shari gifted me another round of vintage Irene Hannon books she'd found second-hand, and I grabbed one to read! Seaside Blessings, published back in 2013, is apparently the third in a series called Starfish Bay, but I didn't feel behind because I hadn't read the first two in the series. In fact, I was completely done with the book before I realized it didn't stand alone!

The book is set in northern California, so it's not exactly tropical beach life, but beaches are beautiful no matter what, right? Kristen Andrews arrives in the little tourist burg of Starfish Bay to serve as the concierge for the newly constructed Inn at the Point. For the last three years, she's worked for the same management company that crafted the Inn, but in Hawaii instead. She's not sad about leaving tropical life behind, because she's not one to get attached to anyone or anything. Moving along suits her well.

She has every intention of living in a more bustling area, even if it means commuting back and forth to work, but after her first glimpse of thick morning fog, she opts to defer to daily safety and live in the tiny town. Her best housing option ends up being an upstairs apartment owned by the (in her opinion) annoying Clint Nolan. His distaste for her is mutual, but he can't think of a valid reason to deny her the apartment.

Just as she feels she's settling in, Kristen receives a phone call she never dreamed she'd get. The adoptive parents of the little girl she placed for adoption nine years earlier have been killed in a plane crash, leaving her flesh-and-blood child in need of a new home. Though she has lived with guilt over her choice for the past nine years, she really doesn't know anything about children, nor does she feel like she'd be a great mom.

Clint has a way with kids that goes beyond Kristen's talents, and he finds he really enjoys spending time with the two of them...and so the friendship begins.

Of course it's a romance novel, so you already know how the friendship goes, but true to Irene's writing style, the book proves to be a welcome escape from reality into the world of beach towns, pretty resorts, and hiking trails in forests.

Who would like this book? Anyone who needs a quick read, a feel-good story, and a virtual vacation to a northern California beach. The book is small, and it would be a great car/airplane/poolside read if you have a vacation coming up!

Thanks for sharing this with me, Shari! Now I want to read the first two Starfish Bay books! :)

He Sees

Not too long ago, in a Bible study, I looked (again) at the account of Hagar in the Old Testament. If you've ever studied the names of God, you've probably read about the name El Roi, which means the God who sees. It comes from Genesis 16, when God met Hagar in the desert and she said to Him, "You are the God who sees me."

This year I'm studying the Gospels, and I'm in the book of Matthew for a good little while yet. This week I camped in chapters 8 and 9 and studied the part where Jesus healed the paralyzed man after his friends carried him to Jesus. Right after that, I read about Jesus calling Matthew himself to become a disciple.

To supplement my study, I've been reading Charles Spurgeon's commentary on Matthew, and one of his observations stopped me in my tracks. Matthew 9:9 says, "As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth." And Spurgeon said, "He says that the Lord saw him. What a seeing is meant here! Reader, may the Lord see you, whatever your name may be! Was Matthew at all like the man sick of the palsy?"

So I looked back up a paragraph at that account of the paralyzed man, and sure enough! Jesus saw him too. More than merely seeing him, Jesus saw the faith of his friends who brought him.

This is what Jesus does.

He sees.

He saw a scared young woman named Hagar caught up in a love triangle that doubled as a work conflict and a girls' fight. He saw her after she had hidden, pregnant and alone, and He made sure she was cared for and that she knew she'd been seen.

He saw a paralyzed man who needed healing for his body and soul all at once. And He healed both, all at once.

He saw a (not-so-loved-by-society) tax collector going about his daily work and called him to something more important.

So I draw my comfort from this truth: if He saw all of them, I can know and trust that He sees me.

He sees me on my good days, when I'm celebrating and praise comes easily.

He sees me on my hard days, when I wonder how He (or Ryan or anyone else) can possibly love me.

He sees me when I feel stuck and unsure of the best next step to take.

He sees me when I'm tired and just want a long vacation.

He sees me when I'm dreaming and excited about what's ahead.

He sees me when I feel like absolutely no one understands the complications of my mind.

But you know what I love most?

He does more than just see.

I mean if we're being honest here, we all see things. But sometimes we see and we choose to look the other way. Or we see and we decide it isn't our place to do anything. Or we see and we literally can't do anything, even though we want to.

He sees and does something.

He saw Hagar and met her in the desert. He saw the paralyzed man and healed and forgave him. He saw Matthew and called him to follow along.

He sees and He's moved to act to show His love.

Valentine's Day is coming next week, and I know for some, that's a hard day. Some of you are waiting for love. Some of you are waiting for your love to show love again. It's hard to wait in confident hope.

But I just want you to know, as we wrap up this week and head toward Valentine's Day, that He sees. And we can gather from the examples in the Bible that when He sees, He does something. Maybe not what we expect. Maybe not even what we want. But He does something to show us we're seen.

I'm a grateful girl.

Valentine Fun

Not to make anyone panic or anything, but Valentine's Day is ONE WEEK FROM TODAY. If it's not the holiday for you, then you don't need to worry. But if you have cards to buy for your kids' classmates or flowers to order for your wife or chocolates to buy for your own consumption, you might want to think about looking into your purchase!

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd do this fun little thing! (I first wrote "in the spirit of Thanksgiving." Of course, yesterday I also said a wreath I saw looked like something a horse would wear after winning the Indy 500, so maybe all my answers should be taken a bit cautiously right now.)

1. Who is your oldest friend and how did you meet?

I should begin by saying these are actually my longest-standing friends, not my OLDEST friends. They're not old. They've just been around a long time. Their names are Pat and Amber, and I met both of them in story hour at the public library. We were all four years old when we met, and we went on to be friends all throughout thirteen years of school and we're still friends today. Pat is part of my game night group, and you might remember him from the kidney walk Ryan and I participated in this summer. Amber hangs out with us quite a bit and was part of our Turkey Run hiking crew! Both of them are good friends to me - and to Ryan, too! 

2. Tell us about your circle of support. Who are your people?

Oh man, that gets dangerous. You start naming names and you are bound to accidentally leave out people who are very important! I feel like we have a pretty wide circle, made up of all kinds of people in all kinds of places. We have longstanding friends from all stages of our lives. We have Ryan's work friends, who are like family. We have our small group and Sunday School class. We have all of YOU! We are thankful for all our friends, no matter where we met them or how often we see them. Everyone matters to us! 

3. How did you meet your husband?

We don't remember. We went to the same school all the way through, so chances are good we encountered each other there at some point. We attended the same church camp as kids, so I'm pretty sure we would have run into each other there. But we became friends when I started attending the church he went to, so that's the answer that makes the most sense. 

4. How is Valentine's Day celebrated in your home?

A different way every year! I am an absolute stickler about celebrating it and doing so ON the day. It's okay if the celebration spills over into other days, but it must be celebrated in some fashion ON the actual day. And because I love them so much, Ryan always gets me roses for Valentine's Day. It's all I ever really ask for. (He usually gets me something else too, but the flowers are always what I ask for.) Year one: we cooked dinner at home together and ate by candlelight. (A day or so later, we also went to a marriage retreat for the weekend.) Year two: we headed back to the same marriage retreat, so we got to spend the entire day together! Our main celebration included a date at DeBrand Chocolates, where we shared an Ultimate Float and some coffee. Year three: We had another at-home dinner, and this time we had a fondue meal! The night before, we went to Starbucks to be part of the world's largest date and actually ended up becoming actual real-life friends with our barista and her husband! Year four: Valentine's Day fell on a Sunday, so we went to church, and we were exhausted from being mid-house-buying, so our main goal was to REST. I was also mid-weight-loss, but I made a special Valentine's-shaped dinner for us. That was the actual day. The night before, we'd gone to a really fancy couple's cooking class, and that was fun!! Year five: We went out to eat ON Valentine's Day for the first time. We had a gift card to Ruby Tuesday and stopped at the yogurt shop on our way home. They were giving free yogurt to couples who were willing to kiss at checkout. Invitation to kiss? OKAY!!! And last year we went to dinner at Red Robin and stopped for an impromptu dessert date at the Cake Bake Shop on our way home. I don't know yet what our plans are for this year, but there will be plans! 

5. What is your love language?

I think it's possible I may speak them all. (Does that make me greedy or talented?) I have never officially taken a quiz on it, but I would say it's a toss-up between quality time and physical touch. 

6. Do you prefer receiving flowers or chocolates?

Yes. LOL!! I do love both and NEVER turn down chocolate, but we have chocolate in varying forms pretty much all the time. Flowers are not an everyday thing, so I absolutely want those!! 

7. What is the most meaningful gift you have ever given or received?

Impossible to narrow down. I deeply appreciate all the gifts I receive, because I just appreciate the thought behind them. And I put a lot of thought into the gifts I give and have several that I've really enjoyed sharing. But I will say that after spending 34 Valentine's Days as a single girl (who really wanted a date) I still haven't gotten over the joy of getting to share the day with Ryan now. Regardless of how we end up celebrating, I am so, so thankful to get to spend the day with him, celebrating him. And I don't ever want to forget what a privilege it is. (Photo from last Valentine's Day.)

Grilled Wings Appetizer

Last fall, when I spoke at a women's retreat in Fort Wayne, Ryan and I stayed with some friends from the WBCL days. (They lived just a stone's throw from the retreat location, so it was practically like staying on-site!)

They spoiled us well. Comfy accommodations, snack basket, and some pretty delicious meals.

One such meal was so good, in fact, that when we came home, Ryan asked if I could get the recipe so we could recreate it at our leisure. I always start to sweat when I have to ask for a recipe, because knowing my luck, it'll be the deeply guarded secret of some great-great-grandmother and the only way to get it is to sign away your life and vital organs.

Fortunately this was not that recipe, and Cindy handed it over to me quite easily. We've made it a couple of times since, and it seems to be the perfect football food. Easy to make, easy to use as a meal or appetizer, and the most important part: delicious.

Want to see how easy it is?

Grilled Wings Appetizer
* 1 bag frozen chicken wings/legs
* 1 cup soy sauce (low sodium)
* 1 cup white vinegar
* 1 cup water
* 1 large chopped onion
* 1 Tablespoon garlic powder

Arrange the bag of wings in a single layer on the bottom of 2 glass 9x13 dishes. In a separate bowl, combine the soy sauce, vinegar, and water. Pour half the mixture in each of the dishes. Sprinkle half the onion in each of the dishes and sprinkle half of the garlic powder in each of the dishes. Cover and refrigerate several hours or even up to a day. Flip the wings in the marinade at least once during that time. Grill until cooked through, and serve warm.

A Few Tips

* As you can see, this does involve a marinade, so you will want to plan ahead to make this to fully appreciate maximum flavorful capacity. This isn't a dish you can whip up 30 minutes before mealtime, but if you can just remember to start early, the actual prep takes next to no time AT ALL.

* With the three liquid items, you can adjust the amounts to suit your own tastes. If soy sauce is a little strong for you, you can increase the water and decrease the soy. Same with the vinegar.

* You could use another kind of vinegar if you prefer. You could use balsamic or apple cider or whatever you like. White vinegar happens to be our favorite for cooking.

* Discard the marinade (and you'll lose most of the onions with it) after transferring the wings onto the grill.

* You probably could use a large zip plastic bag to marinate if you don't have the dishes, but I'm always afraid of springing a hole in the thing, so we just use the 9x13 dishes.

74 Months!

It's podcast Tuesday!! Stories from our weekend, the big game, and snack food choices from around the country!

 Listen here!

In the Saturday Six last week, I mentioned reading the book 10 Choices Successful Couples Make, written by clinical psychologist Dr. Ron Welch. I was so excited to read these words near the beginning of the book:

"Jan and I celebrate our anniversary every month, even after more than thirty years. It is our way of reminding ourselves more than once a year how glad we are that we found each other. We use these anniversaries to remember the many great memories and inside stories we share, and they give us current positive experiences to balance the negative."

I drew a big old star in the margin, because it gave me such hope that someone...and not just any someone, but a guy who has multiple degrees and a deeply rooted marriage...chooses to practice this same thing that we do.

We reached the 74 month  milestone on Saturday, and in many ways it was a terribly ordinary day. Ryan worked all day, and I worked at home, since our house guests were coming back that evening to spend time with us.

But before he left for work, Ryan added heart #2 to his Pinteresty February project:

And when he got home from work, he made lattes for us. (I believe he was backing up the aforementioned statement on the pink heart.)

We had some good talks, and he helped me put the finishing touches on dinner, so we would be ready when Frog and Jenna came back. Having company and practicing hospitality was a fun part of this monthiversary for us. We enjoyed opening our home! It helped me remember some of those early months, when we were double-commuters and didn't have time for things like hospitality. We craved it then and haven't forgotten our desire to have time for it. We don't take it for granted now.

Bonus of house guests on a monthiversary? Photographer!!!!

We enjoyed our day, and we look forward to the big 7-5 in March!

Hoosier Hospitality

We had a chance to share our home again this weekend, and we loved it. When we bought this house, I was excited to have a guest room, but I had no idea how very much I would love having the opportunity to host friends until we did it for the first time. And now I get excited every time we have a new chance to play bed and breakfast.

This time, our guests were friends of mine from my college days. They live in Illinois and were one of my first stops on my post-desert vacation in the fall of 2010. (Here and here and here are some peeks at that trip.) I had SO much fun with them, I went back a few months later to help Jenna celebrate her birthday! (Here, here, and here are those memories.) Then I got married, and Jenna (by then a mom of two) and her family didn't get to come to our wedding or reception, so the fall after we got married, we drove up to spend a weekend with them! (Here, here, here, and here - a peek at that weekend.)

Fast forward five years...and we haven't seen them in that time. We haven't met kids 3 and 4. Sigh. But fortunately, Frog and Jenna are the kind of friends that keep up via text and social media and don't get weird about years that pass without seeing each other in person.

Also fortunately, they went to a conference in Ohio this past weekend, and we were the midway point on the trip. So they came to our house on Thursday night, stayed the night, and headed on to the conference Friday. Then they came back Saturday night on their way home, stayed the night, and went home Sunday.

I had so much fun prepping their room. I wanted it to be a great retreat for them, since this was a chance for them to have time alone, sans kids.

 A little snack basket, anniversary card, and set of Would You Rather questions to keep them entertained on their drive.

 Since Frog's nickname is, well, Frog, I put my frog themed Valentine's decorations in their room.

 Coffee and hot cocoa in their room in case the kitchen was too far to walk. I mean sometimes, it just is.

When they arrived on Thursday, I had white queso chicken chili, cornbread, and sugar cookies waiting.

We spent the whole evening talking, catching up on (you know) the last five years, and telling so many stories.

Friday morning, Ryan had to get to work, but I got up and made this Dutch pancake recipe and hung out with Frog and Jenna for the morning before they headed on to their conference.

When they came back Saturday night, I had Greek Chicken Hummus Wraps waiting - and since it was our monthiversary, I also made Double Chocolate Raspberry Brownies for dessert.

We took them to see Cross America, and then we came back to our house and watched movies!

Sunday morning, they went to church with us before they headed back home. It was fun to have them in our row!

Bed and breakfast fun has ended until the next round of guests, but we sure had fun. And we miss our friends already!

The Shafferland Shuffle

You've heard of mood swings, right? Indiana has them, and they manifest themselves in the form of temperature.What a weird, weird week we had. Dangerously cold to a little bit on the warm side. Who can guess from day to day? Not this girl, that's for sure!

But for all the hot and cold, up and down, here is your peek at our adventures! 

* We thoroughly enjoyed a Sunday at home last week, after church, of course. I made a chicken/spaghetti squash lunch, Ryan made us lattes in the afternoon, and we rested heartily. We still had Deuce, and he was happy to nap all day and hang out with us. We were so sad to see the day (and weekend) come to an end. It had been a great one!

* Monday evening, we took Deuce home on our way to take care of Ryan's mom, and almost as soon as we got there, people started texting me about bad roads. They hadn't been bad when we got there, but apparently that changed in a fat hurry. I freaked out, started inhaling Stress Away, and praying/pacing hard. We stayed until after midnight, but we had a good night together with her.

* Tuesday has already been presented to you in way more detail than you probably ever wanted (It was my day-in-the-life day this week) but it was a day of hard work! I hunkered down to crank out a lot of work in the office, and Ryan and I did a hard workout together that evening. I'm actually still walking like a penguin. An injured penguin. He must have felt sorry for me...he did bring me a Blizzard. :) 

* Wednesday was the crazy, crazy cold day, and Indiana pretty much shut down. Schools - including colleges - closed, the USPS didn't deliver, and Ryan had to bundle up pretty completely to do anything outside! We had ice on the INSIDE of our windows, and I didn't leave the house all day (except to work out). Too. Stinking. Cold.

* I spent Thursday cooking, baking cookies, and setting up our guest room for our next round of company. Some friends of ours (mine, originally, from back in my IWU days) came to stay the night with us. They were on their way to a marriage retreat and we were a halfway point for them. We hadn't seen them in a few years and it was SO fun to have dinner together and spend the evening talking for hours.

* Friday morning, I woke up to a love note from Ryan! I think he has a Pinteresty little project going on, and I love it! We both had long work days, so that night we ordered pizza, did some grocery shopping, and went to visit our Pheebs for a little bit. Kokomo had First Friday again, but we were too tired to traipse around in the cold all night - even for a chili cookoff!

* Ryan worked yesterday, and I stayed home doing chores. It was our 74th monthiversary, so we did our official photo shoot for that, and we also welcomed our friends back for another stay. (They're headed back home now.) We took them to see Cross America, shared dinner with them, and watched a movie. (And we played a game in which we listed as many words as we could think of that we pronounce differently than our spouse. You should try it.)

The Saturday Six

One.

Now this fascinated me. I still keep a really small wardrobe, after trying the capsule lifestyle almost four years ago, but I also still struggle to mix and match well. I sometimes have a hard time thinking outside the box. I've never heard of a "style sudoku" concept before. Fascinating.

Two.

Obviously we don't have kids, so I don't really need this, but I happened upon it on Facebook this week and thought it was a FANTASTIC idea for those who do have kids. Disclaimer: I don't know that I would support or endorse the specific podcasts she lists, but the idea is pretty solid.

Three.

I found this post through another blog, but it was f.a.s.c.i.n.a.t.i.n.g. to me. The blogger's home is regularly rented out for use in commercials, TV shows, and movies. I don't think our part of the country really lends itself to such an industry, but this was so interesting to read. (Also: could you do it? Could you hand your home over to be reinvented by filmmakers?)

Four.

Valentines aren't just for kids, in my opinion. If you need some little cards to share with friends, neighbors, co-workers, or yes, even your kids and their friends, here's a post with a link to free printables! I'm all for sharing love with others, and to be able to remind them of God's love in the process is just a sweet bonus!

Five.

Maybe it's because my creative juices have been free-flowing, or maybe it's because I've been hunkered down for most of January, but whatever caused it, I'm ready to go to IKEA and buy all these things and make them over just like this blogger did!

Six.

People used to make fun of me when I was single, because I loved to read books about marriage. I devoured them. I wanted to learn as much as I could while I had nothing but time on my hands. And as a now-married woman, I must say I appreciate my thirst for knowledge at that stage, because it has served me well. I often think of lessons I learned from those books, and hopefully my attitude and actions as a wife reflect that I didn't just absorb the knowledge, but I know how to apply it, too.

I've noticed that now that I'm married, I'm pickier about marriage books. I feel like there are many fluffy ones floating around out there, and I don't want to fill my mind with fluff. So I really don't read as many of them now as I used to, and that probably seems all kinds of backwards.

But a few weeks ago, I signed up to read Dr. Ron Welch's new release, 10 Choices Successful Couples Make, and I hoped my time reading would end up being a good investment and not a waste of precious hours.

I feel like I made a good choice. The author's name is familiar to me; I'm not sure if Lynne interviewed him while I worked with her or not. (This is not his first book.) I will say I was a bit nervous diving into a book written by a clinical psychologist, because I really don't like reading books that are too academic. You may be smart, but I'm not, so please don't talk above my head. And he didn't. The tone of the book was extremely conversational, interesting, and pleasing to read. He exerted enough of his knowledge and authority to establish trust with me, but not so much that he came across as someone who had all life's answers.

I actually drew a big star in the margin when I started reading, because early on in the book, he mentioned that he'd been married over thirty years, and he and his wife still celebrate monthiversaries! See? It can be done for the long haul! We aren't crazy or alone in our choice to celebrate those! (I think he won me over with that admission.)

The entire book, as the title might lead you to believe, is based on the premise that successful couples make choices. They don't leave their love up to chance. It's not about "falling" in and out of love. It's about making conscious decisions to live by specific practices, regardless of current circumstances. The chapters address different choices couples make that can allow them to have successful, thriving marriages. The choices include communication, forgiveness, unselfishness, intimacy, trust, and more.

While many of the principles in the book could be called just plain common sense, it's true that too many people have misplaced their common sense or are flat out missing it entirely. And for those who hang onto it for dear life, the chapters offer helpful reminders of what to do and what not to do so they can continue in the success they've found.

Dr. Welch uses illustrations (names changed, of course) from his years of counseling, offers personal examples from his own marriage, and finds a good balance in being forthright yet kind. Each chapter also includes exercises couples can choose to do if they want to improve their relationship or even merely test the health of it.

I underlined many things that I wanted to make sure I keep at the front of my mind in my relationship with Ryan. Even though I feel like we do well in the areas he addressed, I want to make sure I evaluate my part in our relationship so I'll the best I can to show love and support to Ryan.

I'm definitely keeping this book on my shelf and will refer to it in the future in moments when I need to evaluate how I'm doing - or reach for an exercise to help us improve our marriage.

I didn't find the offerings in the book cheesy. I thought there was a great amount of depth and insight, and that's so refreshing to find in the land of fluffy marriage books. I appreciated Dr. Welch's challenges and his attention to areas of marriage that other books tend to gloss over or skip entirely. (Like, for example, choosing not to take your spouse for granted and what that looks like in practical application.)

Who would benefit from this book? I would recommend this book to any married couple, whether you're in a sweet season or a challenging season. I think there are good ideas for either one. I would also recommend this book to engaged or even single people, because I think the advice is worth hearing and filing away for a later date. Valentine's Day is in just a couple of weeks. This would be a great investment in your own love life or a great gift to offer to a couple you want to champion toward success!

* Revell provided a copy of this book to me at no charge. All opinions are my own! *

Thanksgiving in February

No, I'm not pulling out any turkey and stuffing - largely because I don't even really care for turkey. And no, you haven't missed the majority of the year. It's not Thanksgiving on the calendar. It's February 1. We're headed toward summer (I hope) and not back into winter.

But this week has brought about a big old helping of gratitude in my heart, so I am pausing on this Friday (which somehow feels like a Saturday) to give thanks.

My Facebook memories notified me this week that it's been three years since Ryan and I set foot in this house for the first time. January 29th, to be exact, was our house-hunting-versary. I would show you a throwback picture from that day, but I didn't take any. (Boy, I hope you were sitting down when you read that.) It's true. We so firmly had no intentions of buying this house that I didn't even bother to snap a single picture when we came to tour it.

And yet less than two months after that day, we purchased the house and moved into it, and this week, I was profoundly grateful (again) for that move.

We've been Polar Vortexing (again) here in the Midwest, and the sub-zero temps and ridiculousness of it all made me grateful...

* that I'm no longer commuting to Fort Wayne. Oh, how I remember those days when one hour each way became two hours each way and all four hours of driving were laced with tears and high blood pressure.

* that Ryan is no longer commuting to Kokomo. When the travel advisory maps started lighting up with yellows, oranges, and reds, I was so grateful that I didn't have to worry about his hour (or more) on the road each way and other drivers who might not be attentive in his path.

* that I'm not on carpool duty this year. To be completely fair, that was a short drive in the grand scheme of what we have driven in our commuting days, but I'm so glad I don't have to worry about my own safety OR the safety of two kids who aren't mine on slick city roads.

And even though our house popped and cracked like most probably did, and even though I had to mop up melted ice from the windowsills each morning, I was grateful...

* for a warm home. Ryan and I both commented that this house holds heat so much better than our old house. It was so laden with character, as older homes tend to be, and part of its character was that it had been insulated before insulation became as hard core as it is now. We'd bundle up under piles of blankets and sport layers of clothing to stay warm. Now our home is comfortable, and we are grateful.

* for power. Ours flickered for a bit one morning, and we learned later that many around us actually lost power for a few hours. We have no idea how we dodged it, but we were thankful.

* for reliable cars. We didn't have to go far in the worst of it, but I was thankful that I didn't feel like I had to worry about whether or not the car would start when we were ready to come home.

And in the middle of all that, I found myself grateful even further...

* that we haven't had to drive back and forth to Indianapolis in all this. We are thankful that Ryan's mom is home and going to see or stay with her involves a much shorter drive with significantly less traffic.

* that we were able to open our home to friends. Last night we had some friends traveling through town, and we were able to share our guest room with them and provide a hot meal after their day of chilly travel. When we tentatively set this up a month ago, I wasn't sure if it would actually work out, between the unpredictable weather and Ryan's mom's health. But to have them here was a gift, and to be able to share our blessings with them was an even bigger gift.

So we're grateful. We're eager for summer, much like the rest of you, I'm sure. But we are grateful for safety, warmth, and the chance to share what we have with others.

I hope as we begin this new month and burrow a bit more into 2019, that your heart can find much to be thankful for, too!