Twenty One...Living on the Edge

WELCOME HOME TO ME!!!!!!

I had the most incredible weekend traveling out to Kansas and watching Cassie graduate from high school. I just spent 1/2 hour at the SLOWEST Wal-Mart photo kiosk on the planet (yes, I have timed them all) so tomorrow I should have pictures for you. But for as much fun as I had (many stories yet to come), it is SO good to be home. Both Kaegan and Braeya met me at the door, so I think they might have missed me. Braeya usually shows up at the door...looking for food. Kaegan may or may not show up for another hour or more, so I guess his immediate appearance should make me feel good.

Anyway, I'm home and scurrying in under the wire to post a picture and announce that today is Great Lakes Awareness Day. I only chose that one from the list because of my Great Legs story (scroll down a dozen posts or so for that one...I'd get the link but I'm too tired). So happy Great Lakes/Legs day! :)

What did you do for your 21st birthday? Well I lived way near the edge (I think, anyway - I'm back to guessing based on hairstyles) and went to Cracker Barrel with my parents. :) I distinctly remember being bummed because I finally had acquired a boyfriend in my life, and right before my birthday, he had a death in the family and had to travel home for a couple of weeks. So not only did he miss my birthday, but he missed the big birthday! So my parents stepped in and bought me...well, probably a chicken salad sammich.


Well until tomorrow I leave you with this "hmmm" moment. I opened the mail while the computer warmed up, and one thing I received was a packet with some curriculum in it. I started pilfering through to find the article I wrote (they send a complimentary packet each time they publish something of mine) and I found a title that matched something I would have written...and my name was below it...and the picture matched the title...and the first line said, "My wife and I don't have a life."

I have a wife?

How long was I gone? What did I drink for that 21st birthday?

I continued reading.

"We have two small children." Well, yes there's Kaegan and Braeya...but something tells me the wrong article is attached to my name. Either that or I still haven't really adjusted to the altitude...

Twenty...With New Friends! (and another holiday)

Since all of my high school friends had scattered in their various directions for college, my twentieth birthday party had an entirely new set of friends to celebrate with me!

The thing I love about it is that I'm still close to almost everybody that was there...and it's ten whole years later! I'm really thankful for the great friends I made in college.


Looks like I was having some issues with the Capri Sun pouch...

And in other news on this FINE day...it's National Orange Juice Day. I can't have orange juice, but I definitely could go for a big bowl of orange sherbet!

Bits for Sunday, May 4, 2008

Normally I write to you from my little office in my house...alternately shifting left to right to see around the cat that chooses to park in between my face and the monitor, completely prohibiting me from seeing anything I'm typing. I jump up every now and then to run into the next room to see what is happening on whatever TV show I happen to be "watching" at the time.

Today I write to you from another office...on a guest computer...staring out a window at the dirt where a yard will soon be and looking across the street to the makings of a new house. Looks like they're about as far as the basement right now. All around are fragments of trees left from a tornado that happened a year ago today.

I remember that day...it was actually a Friday. I remember having my parents over for dinner, and I remember kicking back to watch whatever was on TV while Braeya the birthday girl played with her new kitty toys. I remember the phone ringing and the thought of "oh that can't be good at this hour." And I remember the news my Dad delivered...of a tornado here in Greensburg, Kansas.

This morning at the community church service, the gentleman who delivered the benediction shared a story he'd heard of some people visiting overseas...London, maybe?...who tried to explain to people where they were from here in the States. They said they were from Wichita, Kansas. The people over there wanted to know how far that was from Greensburg. So much for anonymity! Today this little town was overrun by trucks sporting satellite dishes, dozens of police cars, guests from everywhere, and even the President himself.

We didn't come out here for the President though. We came out here to watch my niece graduate from high school. Originally the graduation was scheduled for next weekend, and a couple of months ago, we were told the date had been moved up a week, but the reason was top secret. So we went about changing our flights and hotel reservations and all of that...and about a month ago, we found out that the President's visit was the reason for the date change. Apparently next weekend he's a little busy marrying off his daughter...

I remember my high school graduation. I remember the duct tape colored robes and the extreme nervousness of walking across that stage and waving to my family on the sidelines.

This was NOTHING like that. Not only were the robes a much more appealing color (colors, actually...red and blue), the entire ceremony was...unlike anything I could have imagined.

We had to be shuttled to the site, because cars weren't allowed within a certain distance of the building. No purses allowed, so I wore my coat to fill up the pockets with batteries and cameras...and my photo ID and ticket. No one got in without the appropriate combination of both. We had to go through metal detectors (and I managed to avoid the additional wand search) and sit in our assigned seats. Ours happened to be next to the White House media area. We sat in a row and leaned out of the way of the dozens of secret service personnel.

Definitely not your typical graduation, but it was such a great time. I am so proud of Miss Cassie, who not only graduated, but she delivered a wonderful co-valedictory speech. I was so nervous for her. Public speaking is not my favorite thing. I can't imagine doing it in front of the President and a dozens of media cameras. She did an amazing job - I was super proud, amid my photo taking. :) (Oh come on now, you'd expect nothing less.)

So no...not a typical graduation, but no less cause for celebration. Cassie, I love you and you did a GREAT job not only today, but this whole past year. You have handled this with a dignity I don't even possess. I'm very proud of you.

Well, I can hear the voices of family in the other room, and I better be social while I can be...so I'll wrap this up. I leave with the words of this song that we sang in church this morning...because it best sums up today's summary of this past year.

Blessed be Your name, when the sun's shining down on me...when the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your name...Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering...Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name...Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise...You give and take away...My heart will choose to say...Blessed be Your name.

One Year and Five Months

That's how long it has been since my last drink of Coke - or pop of any kind.

One year five months and three days, to be exact.

Until today. I was overcome by the presence of the red and white bottles in the cooler at my niece's graduation party, and I just had to have a little tiny taste.

HEAVENLY.

But I only drank about 1/3 of the bottle - and I was done. I don't need any more. I can go another year and five months, probably, without having it again. But it was still REALLY REALLY good.

Nineteen on the Go and A Couple of Holiday Options!

I couldn't decide between two different celebrations for today so I'm suggesting both. Today is Hug Your Cat Day (and I can't even see my own precious kiddos for the occasion. :( It is also National Scrapbook Day - and you have no idea how excited I am about that! I won't be scrapping, but I sure will be taking a ton of pictures to scrap later!!

Nineteen...my first year to be "out on my own" for my birthday. I apparently did make it back home for gifts. SHOES!!

I had the BIGGEST crush on Mark Lowry at this stage of my life. As you can see, I was pretty excited to have this new video to watch!

Eighteen...So Embarrassing - and Sibling Appreciation Day!

My eighteenth birthday came about a week before my high school graduation, so I had a whole lot going on in my mind and life! I was in the middle of enjoying one of my last lunches with my friends at school when the balloons and camera showed up. That wasn't embarrassing. It was the top of the lungs SINGING of everyone at my table and the instant silence of the cafeteria that made me do this:


Home was far less humiliating. :) Oh and just one word: PERM.

If you're celebrating the merry merry month of May, today is Sibling Appreciation Day!

I'm not sure Hallmark makes a card for such an occasion, but maybe you can send an email of love??

Seventeen?

Judging from the amount of zits and the length of hair and the curl of the bangs...I'm calling this one seventeen. I think I'm right. :)

Ahhh...into the journaling already!

Apparently after lunch I was going to an interview. :) Just kidding. I see the bows were still around...

Happy Birthday Cheerios!

As I said on Sunday, I'm spending the entire month of may in celebration...and today is Cheerios day! Apparently they made their debut back in 1941, which makes them a respectable 37 years older than I am.

I love Cheerios - specifically the apple cinnamon kind. So today I think I'll celebrate by having a nice big bowl of them! :)

Sixteen Candles

I did that just for you, Sarah. :)

Before I say my thoughts on turning sixteen, Idol, and anything else that pops into my head, I have to say this. I'm not normally the sort of person who pops up with random praises out loud. When we're in church and the pastor asks for praises and testimonies, I am not the person who stands up. It's not that I have nothing to say - it's just that I'm not normally a jump up and talk sort of person. But today I have to jump up and talk for just a second. I'll leave out the details, but God answered a HUGE prayer for me today and He did it in a way I never saw coming. And in the middle of the whole massive joy of the whole thing, I realized I'd just been given a glimpse into the kind of mercy and grace Jesus has for me...and I'm so thankful. So YAY GOD! Thank You, Thank You, Thank YOU!

Okay - well my sixteenth birthday was well observed, and I am SO embarrassed to say that all the photos (and candles, though WHY I would have kept them is beyond me and mine) - are firmly encased in a BAD BAD PHOTO ALBUM! The kind that all the Creative Memories people tell you will kill your pictures. Shame on me! I know better than this! Guess I better hurry up and do a 16th album.

Really it's not that much different from fifteen. MAN my hair was dark though. I also enjoy this half asleep look that I sported through much of my teen years.


Just as a little side note/laugh...I had another friend party when I turend 16 and I offered my guests a quiz about me. A quiz which I now look back upon with GREAT eyerolling. I will not even tell you some of the questions because they are so ridiculously sixteen that I can't even admit to them. But here were some of the crazier ones (alongside the changes that a nearly doubled life span bring about):

* What is my favorite color? "Rose, but pink is an acceptable answer." Okay well now I guess it would be "Plum, but purple is an acceptable answer."

* Who is my favorite famous athlete? "Dan Jansen." Phats, I put that in there JUST for you. Now my answer would be, "Um, there are athletes?"

* What housework do I detest with a very great passion doing the most? "dusting woodwork." My answer today would be "Dusting woodwork, but now I'm in charge of the house so I just don't do it! Ahhh the joys of being the adult."

* What age would I be happy to be forever? "21." Are you KIDDING me?? PLEASE don't make me redo that year or be stuck in it forever. My answer now? "I have no stinkin' idea."

And the tie breaker question, which just blows my mind now: How many pen pals do I have? Answer? FOURTEEN! Clearly I did not have cable.

So there - laugh away. Phats, you can STOP laughing at the Dan Jansen answer.

Idol talk....Oh my poor, poor Brooke. I just felt awful for her and if I hadn't been in the middle of a big project that required a lot of concentration, I'd have had a meltdown in her honor. I hope she does a great job anyway - so go get em, Miss Brooke!

Fifteen/Idol/Greensburg

If Idol can pack a whole lot into one hour, I can pack a whole lot into one post.

Apparently wedding trumps birthday because AGAIN for fifteen...NOTHING. Sigh. BUT...my sister got married around that same time, so maybe we were all just engrossed in that. I don't even REMEMBER turning fifteen, but I do remember the wedding. And that is where this picture was taken...at my guest book post.


Okay - on to Idol. Two songs tonight! Livin' on the edge. As a generalization, I'd have to say that I liked round two much more than round one. I would also like to take this opportunity to say at this point I officially like them all. I don't think there's ever been a season where I liked everybody before the top three. I think at this point each of them could have a really fantastic career in their own avenue, and they're diverse enough to have that opportunity without getting in each other's way. Who do I think would make the best pop star Idol? David Cook, hands down.

* Jason Castro - He's cute and quirky in his own way. I can't see him being the official idol, but I think he'd good. I wasn't blown away by either of his songs tonight. I think he could be in trouble. If they do a bottom two, I think he'll be in it. Will he go home? Depends on if he has enough fans.

* David Cook - Okay first of all, WHAT was Paula thinking in her comments after round one??? She thought he'd sung twice? Or was that David Archuleta that she said that for? Either way, good grief! David was very very good on both songs. As I told Sarah, he could sing Leviticus to me and I'd be happy.

* Brooke - I wanted her to do better on the first song than she did. I enjoyed the ending but the rest of it was kind of like that one week and the sun song. I l-o-v-e-d her second song though. I think she's got the personality for those slower, deeper ballads and needs to limit her "fun songs." Not that she's not a fun person, but when she goes that way, it always seems awkward to me. If they do a bottom 3 instead of a bottom 2, I think she'll be in it. But I think her fan base is strong enough to keep her in another week...unless everyone rushes to save Syesha and they forget about keeping Brooke safe.

* David Archuleta - Okay HERE is my deal with him. I do not discount his AMAZING voice. He's good. He's very very good. But he's so YOUNG. And that's okay...young people deserve to win too. But as they've said before, every week he does the same thing. And everything about him is always predictable. I'd love to see him get more maturity on him before he breaks out into the scene. I actually thought the first song was the best I've ever seen him in the relaxation "performing" mode. Still, he'll be fine.

* Syesha - I really like her as a Broadway performer, and I didn't realize that until last week. I think that would be so perfect for her because it could blend her two loves of acting and singing. I thought she did a good job this week and I think maybe Simon saying she's in trouble could actually spike the votes for her. But I would still list her in the bottom 2 with Jason just because she's been there so much that I question her fan base.

In OTHER news, not related to Idol or my impending trek over the 30 hill, I just wanted to give a Greensburg note. I've not really updated a lot on that lately just because I think my sister wants a break from hearing about it, and she reads my stuff. So I've tried to give her a break. BUT with this coming Sunday being the one year anniversary of the tornado, I wanted to say that the Early Show (CBS) is broadcasting some segments from Greensburg each morning this week. I watched it today...I'm not normally a morning news girl, but if I do watch, I'm a huge fan of the Today Show. So watching the Early Show was strange and somewhat painful, but I got to see some sights, anyway. And also, the May 6th issue of Woman's Day (strawberries on the cover) has an article about a family from Greensburg. I thought I'd seen all the jaw droppers I could see when I looked at the pictures of Lori's house and then when I saw things first hand, but WOW - the picture with that article is unREAL. This woman and her two kids were hanging onto a toilet and it was literally the only thing left in their house. Amazing. I found the article online but the picture from the magazine is not in the online article, so that is not helpful to this particular story.

Fourteen...Lost Entirely

Clearly the years between when my mother stopped being in charge of photos and I thought I was responsible enough to be in charge...are forever wiped away.

I have yet to find one picture from when I turned fourteen. UNLESS...they're hidden in my photo box somewhere and I just don't recognize them. The poofy hair years are sort of a mix. But this gives you the general idea...

This picture was taken on Easter right before my birthday...and I put it in here just to show you what I looked like when I tried...because WOW are you gonna get a picture of the untried Bekah here in a second.


Probably only Phats will remember this, but when we were 8th graders, our school did this experimental learning thingie where all the classes (and I mean all the classes) did a unit on the Civil War. It was incorporated into every class from Home Ec (we learned to make corn bread) to Industrial Arts (we made our own metal plate to use while eating said cornbread) to science (learned about injuries and medicines and stuff)...you get the picture. I'll actually have to come back to that another day and tell you about the makeup artist that came to give us "Civil War injuries." My mother almost fainted at the sight of mine. Hee hee hee.

Anyway, to end this great unit, we had a field trip where we marched (wearing arm bands made in sewing Home Ec) to the fairgrounds and had a day of fun and learning. And sunburning. Lots of sunburning. After school, all my friends (well the girls anyway) had a going away party for an Amish girl in our class who would no longer be going to school after that year. These pictures were taken at her party - which was actually one of the most fun things I can remember doing with my friends in junior high/high school. We had a very good time.

This picture was taken while we were playing hide and seek in my house, and I hid in the shower. Whoever found me took a picture. Did I mention the SUNBURN? I might also mention that it had rained at one point, so we lost whatever hope of a hair day we had...


Apparently my friends had enough of me....

Bits for Sunday, April 27, 2008

Well, as you know, the countdown to thirty is on in full force. I’ve received several interesting reactions to the pictures I’ve posted from each birthday. We’re up to birthday number 13, and I’m valiantly searching the scrapbooks and boxes for a picture of me from that year. You’d think, with it being thirteen and all, that I’d have a bunch. So far I’ve found three pictures of people who came to my party, one picture of my niece with the top of my head beside her…and that’s it. I can see one more in my mind, but I have yet to find the picture. What’s in my mind doesn’t scan so well.

Anyway, our secretary (Lynette) says that a person should always celebrate one day for each year of life. I’ve done that before and it was fun. This year I decided to consult the fabulous Holidays for Everyday website to see what sorts of holidays exist in the month of May. I found dozens. I’ve made a list and I’ll inform you every day in May just what you can celebrate if you’re so inclined. J If you’re looking for good reasons to have a party, I can help. If you’re actually having a party…I’ll be a guest.

But I learned through this valuable research that not only does May have daily (yes daily) events to celebrate, but there are also very special weeks in the month of May.

For example…did you know that the first week of May is Water Detect-A-Leak Week? So I guess that means the constant dripping that occasionally borders on a steady stream coming from my shower faucet…should be addressed during May, week one? Or maybe I’m not supposed to notice it until then…

The second week in May is National Etiquette Week. That’s when I get to camp out at the Wal-Mart and teach everyone how to drive their carts down the right side of the aisle. Or hang out on the bypass and teach drivers how to move INTO the turn lane before slowing to two miles an hour. So many options for education.

Nothing of major excitement happens the third week, but the fourth week is National Shoe Week. A girl’s DREAM week! Oh the shopping we can do! I should start making a list. (Hey, I wonder if there’s a national list making week?)

And if none of these excite you…never fear. The entire month of May has a few highlights. Some of them don’t do a whole lot for me. For example, sharing my birthday month with National Salad Month is not a big thrill. Somehow it makes me feel a little more guilty about all the additional treats I intend to partake in during the course of the celebration. It’s also Correct Posture Month, and I’m just a miserable failure there. The more I slouch over my keyboard, the less people will notice I am actually sleeping on it, I figure. Woops, now the people at work know my secret. And speaking of sleep, May is Better Sleep Month. OOH! So that means we’re moving back from Daylight Savings? ‘Cause that’s going to be the only better sleep I get!

But there are some pretty perfect celebrations happening in the month of May. I’ve already started one of them: National Promote Your Ideas Month. I’m promoting the idea of celebrating every day! (And if May isn’t your birthday month, I’m promoting the idea of taking on a daily celebration in your own month.)

May is also National High Blood Pressure Month. Not something to be excited about, but definitely something that fits me well! It’s also National Photo Month. How great is THAT!?!? I figure May (in my life) is going to require an entire scrapbook album all its own. It’s National Flower Month. I like roses if anyone needs to know. May is National Scrapbook Month, which I’m going to need to hit pretty hard to keep up with all the festivities. And incidentally, it’s a month that I think diehard scrappers should automatically get off of work…so we can devote unhindered time to our passion.

And just a few more…it’s Get Caught Reading Month, which is kind of every month for me, but maybe now I’ll have company in my boat. May is Revise Your Work Schedule Month, or in our office, it’s commonly known as Get Your Vacation Days Booked Before You Lose Them Month. And of course…National Hamburger Month. Long live the Whopper Junior! (with cheese, minus onion…and is it bad that the Burger King manager knows that is my order without asking me?)

So welcome (almost) to a month of celebration…get out your party hat, and get ready for some fun excuses to eat extra dessert!

Thirteen...a Lost Year

Thirteen is big...huge! The entrance into the turbulent teens. I even had a friend party...and yet I have frighteningly little to show for it. As my post above states, I know there's a picture somewhere of the whole group that came over. I can't find it, though. So here's the one lone picture I can find from that day - lovely view of the magenta ponytail holder, poofy bangs (still), and wild shirt. And isn't Cassie cute? Or at least the top of her head?


Maybe this is why I didn't take many pictures. It was a rough patch. This was taken the Halloween before I turned 13...before hair straighteners...before portion controlled diets...WHEW!

And POOF...The Hair and I Turned Twelve

I was a sixth grader when I turned twelve. It was a very eventful year for me. I broke my leg. My niece was born. And I cut my hair...the front of it anyway. Enter poofy bangs. Enter buying stock in hairspray.

Enter...why didn't someone teach me to suck in????

MMMMM....funfetti cake! And did you notice? Pop made its way into cans since last year at this time. According to other birthday photos, it looked like I enjoyed a quiet evening at home with my parents, my friend Amber, and a dinner of hamburgers and cauliflower salad.

Eleven...Bows and Bottles

I am SO GLAD it's Friday. I was so worn out from the week that I came straight home and took a nap tonight. Boy don't I have an exciting weekend life!?!?

I discovered after looking carefully at these pictures form when I was eleven...my how times have changed.

My gift in this picture is a set of puffy paint bottles - with which I made a T shirt for my Mom...which she was kind enough to wear. (Clarification. I DECORATED the T shirt. I did not construct the actual shirt out of Puffy paint.) Please also notice the large BOW stuck on the back of my head. I'm so thankful bows are in the past.

And this was the most depressing one of all - pop BOTTLES on the table.

Ten with Attitude

Before I start this post, let me say if you haven't seen the one right below it, you should scroll down because you might get a laugh. As if the pictures here won't be laugh enough.

Anyway, Mom was so worn out from my fifth birthday party (friend party) that I didn't get a second one until I was ten. Actually this is something I plan to carry on with my own kids. Too many friend parties can get chaotic, not to mention expensive. So anyway, here was my second party...for my tenth birthday.

I cut most of the guests out of this one...they'll thank me. :) I chose it to post because I was so proud of these glasses. I loved them. They were attitude glasses...does anyone remember those? They were the thing to have in the late 80's. My sister had a red (I think) pair and she got me these blue ones and I was as excited over that as I would have been over a million bucks. I wore them everywhere until I got in trouble for wearing them to school. One of the employees made me take them off, telling me they would ruin my eyes. (I would so love to go track her down and tell her that at thirty, I still don't need glasses or contacts...but that would be vindictive, so I simply post about it here.)

Wonder what she would have thought of the much smaller version (yet every bit as fake) that I bought early on in the work world to make people think I was older?

One of the games at the party was a dress up game. Mom packed a suitcase with a collection of mismatched clothes and accessories and each person had to unzip the suitcase, put everything on, run back around that building in the background (my playhouse) and then back to the suitcase, take off the stuff that had been in the suitcase, repack it, zip it...and then whoever completed it in the fastest time won. Fairly sure I didn't win, but I can see I was having an extremely uninhibited day!

Great Legs

Have you seen those commercials for Gas-X (I think) where the people are so uncomfortable that every word in a conversation sounds like some gas-related word?

Here's the Bekahland version of that story. This week has been the first that I've pulled the summer clothes back out of storage, and I'm still getting used to all the summer lengths of everything.

Today I wore a dress that hits me just at the knee when I stand up (oh well it was my Easter dress...which I posted a picture of back in the day, I think.) When I sit down, of course, it's slightly shorter, and I'm fine with that...but I just haven't quite gotten used to it yet for the summer. I had a couple of appointments today, and one of them was a whole family squished in my little office. They were sitting and standing in every spare inch of my office, so I was a little paranoid about the whole skirt length thing.

I sat in my chair tugging at the dress while TRYING to pay attention to what they were saying to me. The student's father said something that made me totally jerk my head around...I thought for SURE he'd said "Great legs."

Turns out (since we were talking about loans and lending institutions) he was asking me if the lender in question was "Great Lakes." I'm sure he was puzzled by my horrified look...which quickly relaxed once I realized what he said.

Good grief.

I Turned Nine Back When Mom Had Eardrums

My poor mother had the misfortune of being on the phone with me this evening when I heard the final Idol results. I screamed so loud my throat still hurts.

It makes no sense to me - but WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

OH! And another thing. Remember when Ryan asked Carly if she'd thought about singing another song? And she said yes, but she felt like this one was more her style? Um, how about you chose this one because you were told that it was better for you???? Did she forget we saw that on a video clip????

So now that I turned her deaf before her time.....

Here was the year I turned nine. These pictures were taken outside the Wendys-turned-Starbucks in Kokomo. My choice of an eating establishment. Parents should have been so lucky to have me for a kid. I was a cheap birthday dinner. :) I am looking awed because I am staring at my birthday gift: a guinea pig.

I forget what I named it. That is really bugging me. But anyway, it had been born into our third grade classroom...its Mom's name was Carmel. That I remember. Why can't I think of what I named it? Anyway, my mother was THRILLED to welcome a rodentish type thing into the house, and given my general fear of such creatures, I can't even tell you precisely why I liked them. But I did.


Sorry Lori. I spared you yesterday. Here are the three sisters...aren't we cute? I actually posted this one because behind us up on the wall is the No Smoking sign that always fascinated me as a kid. I used to wonder if the tiny space behind it on the wall was the no smoking area. Clearly my thinking skills needed developing....

American Idol/Turning Eight

To answer the question I've already been asked this evening - nope, I did not know any of the songs on Idol tonight. The closest I came to knowing one was the one Jason Castro sang - because I have a music box that plays that tune.



Here are my thoughts.



* Syesha - Phats, were you pretty happy with that performance? I thought of you. I know how much you love her!! :) I thought she did an AWESOME job. She seemed so comfortable, she really got to showcase who she was, and I thought it was her personal best. She would do great on Broadway. She could combine all her talents in one spot!



* Jason - I think this was a time when my lack of knowledge of the songs allowed me to enjoy it. I thought he did a really nice job, but obviously I was in the minority on that. But I can see how someone who knew how the song was traditionally performed would be unimpressed with his take on it. I do have to say that his interview was my favorite. I laughed more than once at the stuff both of them said.



* Brooke - Oh my poor Brooke. She's gonna go home this week and I HATE that. I felt so bad for her that she had to start over - for the second time this year. I admire her for having the guts to realize she NEEDS to start over. I agree it's a brave thing to do. But I also agreed with Simon that when she did, she got so tense and it was an extremely uncomfortable performance. I didn't enjoy it at all because I was so scared she'd freeze up again. Bless her heart.



* David A. - Well he was good like he always is. But I was with Simon (again). It was good and good enough to keep him in, obviously, but it was forgettable.



* Carly - I was so hoping she'd mess up so Brooke could stay, but rats. She nailed it. She had a lot of fun with it, so I guess that's good.



* David C. - Did anyone think the start of that song sounded a little Josh Groban-esque? I just loved it. I agreed with (brace yourself...) Simon! I prefer the edgier sound out of him (is edgier a word?) - but he did a great job and I admit I was melted into a little pool in front of the TV by the end.



Bottom 3? Ooh...I don't know. Brooke, Jason, and maybe Carly? I don't know on the third one. I think it will come down to who has the least amount of fans. Aside from Brooke, they all did well. She'll go home. :(



And in other, non Idol news...here's the fabulous pictures from when I turned eight. Lori, you can thank me later for not posting the other one I had.



These were from my party at school - good old second grade.

Seven and Heavenly Days...

I took a vacation day today. I've been looking forward to such a day for a lonnnnnnnng time. Though I still had to contend with the alarm, it was nice to get to ignore it for a bit longer than usual. And the day was very fun. I went shopping with my Mom and got a couple of new things that I hadn't planned to spring for just yet, but they were there and the price was right.

But here was the bummer of taking today off work. I was told that I missed my name on the radio! I listen to wbcl when I'm at work, and Friday, the morning guys (Phil, Jim, and Larry) were talking all about the earthquake. People called in to tell where they were when it happened and how they figured out what was going on...and Phil said something about feeling like the only one who missed it. I got on the Rise n Shine page on the web and sent him a message to let him know he'd not been the only one to miss out entirely, but his show went off the air about five minutes after I sent the message. Evidently today he read my message on the air! RATS! I mean yay for reading it but RATS for missing it! Oh well.

Here's a couple pictures of the FABULOUSLY awkward stage of being seven. The hair...the teeth...what a rough time of life for kids.

This one seemed appropriate today because I purchased a new green backpack when I was out shopping. I wasn't nearly as amazed at today's purchase as I was over this gift...but at least I stayed in the same color family. I really wanted a pink one today but they weren't on sale. Green was. I've been borrowing my friend's backpack way too much, and that just borders on rude, so I sprang for one of my very own.

Six?

Have you seen the movie, "Where the Heart Is?" Natalie Portman and Ashley Judd? In the movie, Natalie's character, Novalee, has this issue with the number five. Everything associated with that number goes wrong. (In the book that the movie was based on, it was actually the number seven that was the problem number...just fyi.)

Well, for me, six is the problem number. This is the first year in my collection of pictures that I'm not even sure we HAVE a picture from the actual birthday. When I turned sixteen, I had a massive meltdown about hitting that major milestone. And twenty-six was the biggest letdown, because it was the downhill slope to thirty.

So maybe these pictures are from my sixth birthday and maybe they're not. But they're as close as I can get.

When I turned five, my parents got me a little puppy. I named him Pokey. Pokey ate Mom's rosebushes though, so he had to go. So I am pretty sure that when I turned six, Pokey was replaced by this little one. I've posted pictures of this dog before - this is my Chihuahua named Lassie.

This weekend, at birthday party number one, I got to hang out with my best friend's Chihuahua - Belle. Made me realize how much I miss a cute little dog. Maybe someday!!

Bits for Sunday, April 20, 2008

I was talking on the phone to one of my friends this week…and we discussed how both our lives are unfolding much differently from the way we envisioned in those infamous growing up planning sessions. In both our cases there have been hurts and disappointments that we didn’t adequately prepare for, but I’m not really sure there is a way to properly brace for things so unexpected. That’s part of growing up, I guess – the learning to take what happens and move forward with it marking the person you’ll be from that moment onward.

But aside from the tough times, I’m pretty excited about the good things that have happened along the way so unexpectedly. Last week I wrote about some of the adventures I’ve had over the past thirty years. Today when I was looking for something, I stumbled upon a paper I wrote my senior year in high school. Our English teacher asked us to write an essay on what we would choose to do with our lives if we could do anything we wanted and be guaranteed that we would not fail. Being “hopelessly in love” with a pastor-to-be at that time, the logical choice for me was to choose to write about being a pastor’s wife.

So I did…and I had the whole thing figured out, from contributing to the potlucks to teaching Sunday School. (WOW – did I have much to learn about what that role really entails!) And at the end of my paper, my teacher wrote that I’d done a nice job with the assignment, but had I ever thought about being the pastor instead of the wife?

Well, no I hadn’t, and that still isn’t my intention in life, but she brought up a good point, because there were so many things that I hadn’t thought about doing. And along the way, I came up with the idea to just try some of them…to just see what would happen.

And as it turned out, the things that I love most now were things I never could have envisioned back then.

Some of the things have come about because of friends I’ve met and their willingness to share the things they love to do. Some have come about because of the influence of classes and professors who uncovered passions in me that I didn’t even know existed. Some have even come about because of those tough times I didn’t expect and the need I had to get through them using whatever means necessary.

And so today I’m not a pastor’s wife. Maybe I will be and maybe I won’t be. That remains to be seen, I suppose. But today I am many things that I never knew I could be. And when I think back to that day in senior English when I tried to look ahead and envision the best possible life I could think to dream up, I see that I didn’t have a clue about the things God had in mind for me.

From this chair where I sit today, I also know that I can’t see forward to know what else is ahead in this life plan. I can’t see the joys and I can’t see the rest of the tough times. This is one reason I love writing so much…I’m able to keep track of the great things as a reminder of their existence, and I’m able to keep track of how I got through the rough patches, as a reminder that when the next one comes, I will be able to get through it. My own history proves that.

Life never goes exactly how you plan it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not filled with a beauty all its own…if you’re willing to see it.

Five and Fabulously Attitudinal

Today I went to two birthday parties. One for a three year old, followed by one for a two year old. My hats off to the parents of all children everywhere...I don't know how you have the energy to do it. :)

I had a great time...don't get me wrong. It is so much fun to watch little ones rip into gifts (Hannah even ripped right into a gift BAG...now THAT is excitement to get to a gift!) and smear cake all over their faces and run around with their friends...

But oh the joy of crawling back in my car, cranking up my music, and driving off into the...rain.

At both parties, the parents/grandparents stood by with video camera in hand, capturing all priceless moments and perhaps the chance to win however many thousands of dollars AFV gives away these days. Back in my day, (or at least in my household) video cameras were not to be found. Tape recorders, however, were. And as I mentioned a few posts ago, when I turned five, my brave mother invited a dozen or so of my closest (okay only) friends over for my first ever friend party. She interviewed each party guest on tape. Last weekend she sent the tape to me and I listened to it. Listened to my typical-kid-jump-from-topic-to-topic-and-randomly-giggle-way-too-loudness.

Clearly my personality was beginning to emerge.

These pictures are from my family birthday party. I've just learned since college to work on correcting this chin-in-the-air look. EVERY SINGLE PICTURE at my college graduation open house has this same pose.

Oh! There it is again. Remember the Etch-A-Sketch??? Great church toy. Until you had to shake it upside down to clear it. (Preferably over the top of your head...much to the dismay of your mother.)


See how much better I do now?? This is from party #1 today - a picture with my best friend who has stuck by me through every single drama and hair color since the fifth grade. Don't you think she deserves a medal? I rarely get to see her now...this was the first since Christmas.

Four and Fish Poetry

I was recently made aware that I had arrived at "that" age (whatever specific age "that" is) - when toys from my childhood came back - in slightly reformed states - to be the latest and greatest things ever in life. Care Bears. Cabbage Patches. Strawberry Shortcake.

And apparently that was the theme of the year when I turned four. Cake...doll...books...the whole bit.


My Grandma made my cake - she did some GOOD work. In the little fish bowl there was my first "very own pet."


Those of you at church the night of the Bachelorette might remember that I shared how I'm NO GOOD at poetry. In that infamous poetry class I somehow passed in college, I wrote the following poem for my portfolio. It is horrible, and I am aware of that. But it tells the story of the fish.

I called her Shari
Because she was a birthday
Present from my cousin Shari.

She swam around in a bowl.
No fancy rocks or lights -
Just a bowl of water.

Then the bowl was missing.
"Mom, where's Shari?"
She said "That's what happens
When you forget to feed her."

"How long ago did it happen?" I asked.
"Two days ago."

I am so going to regret posting that. Please please know that I don't write poetry anymore. Ever. For any reason.

Quake Comments

Not QUAKER comments. I grew up Quaker, but that's not what this is about.

Chris - I was awake for this quake or aftershock or whatever it was. Was not entirely a fan of my chair rolling across the mat without my pushing it in said direction.

Deb - I will admit that right after I'd posted to your "rapture prayer" post...I said a little one of my own when my building started shaking!!!

For those of you in the far far away...apparently we had an earthquake at some pre-alarm hour this morning. I missed the entire thing. I was out COLD. If the cats needed me...I failed them. I only heard about it when I turned on the TV this morning to check for sandal vs. sock weather. (And just to clarify...NOT sandals worn WITH socks.)

But whatever it was we just had about a half hour ago - I caught that one. Kind of a weird feeling. Skyepuppy, I think I'll leave all this business to you. :)

Thursday and Three...

This week has been so beautiful. I hear we're in for some less than pretty weather, but I have absolutely loved all the sunshine and breezes and warm air of this week! The last two weeks were pretty crazy for me, so I've very much enjoyed the chance to take it easy this week. Right now That Thing You Do is on the TV in the other room...I love that movie. I used to own it. Someone borrowed it and I've not seen it since. But it's been on TV Land a lot lately, so I've been catching up. Of course all day tomorrow, that song will be stuck in my head. Oh well.

Here's a peek into the year I turned three - told you that big mouth would be back.

Phats - this is as close to karaoke as you'll ever see out of me...

Woo Hooooooo and Two....

I was a little more than excited at tonight's Idol results...and I screamed so loud I scared the daylights out of Kaegan. Sorry, buddy. I told Mom (who doesn't watch Idol but does like to be up on what's happening with it) that I didn't think Kristy Lee was the best singer, but my biggest issue with her was her flippant attitude toward Simon...and I see she threw in one more dig right before she was eliminated.

And as for Brooke...I know she had a rough night but I was so hoping she'd make it one more week...if for no other reason, than just to make it worth missing her sister's wedding.

And here's a glimpse into life as I turned two...

Such a ham. I see they tried to get me to have an early love of mowing the lawn. Something went wrong there. Still not one of my favorite chores.


The theme of the year must have revolved around getting me ready for the great outdoors. I remember that lawn chair - had it for YEARS. Years after I outgrew it, even.

And so begin the pictures of my big mouth. You'll see more of those.

And Now that the Mascara is Gone...

Well I may not be right in my Idol predictions tonight, but I was right in my prediction to cry over BOTH the Biggest Loser and Idol.



First of all...YAY for Miss Ali for being the first ever girl to win the Biggest Loser. It was only my first season to watch, so I couldn't compare to other seasons, but I was so stinkin' proud of her for how hard she worked on and off the campus. And I was blown away by some of the other contestants when they came back. Bernie, I've decided, is my favorite guy, and I was SO excited to see him win the $100,000.

And now on to American Idol. When I heard it was Mariah night, I felt REALLY bad for all the girls...especially Syesha. They always get in trouble for trying to pull off diva music and then they were given a diva to sing?? Good grief.

* David Archuleta - Was it just me or did he look even extra young tonight? Still as cute as he can be, but tonight he looked about eight. BUT. He did a great job with the falsetto and of course he delivered yet another great performance. He's just too good to mess up much, I guess.

* Carly - Since I always pick on what she wears, I'll say that she looked very nice tonight. I liked the hair and the outfit very much. HOWEVER. I thought she sounded better on the lower notes and I didn't care for the power ending. May I just say (again) that I don't know the songs that these people sing and I couldn't pick out a Mariah song if you gave me five to choose from, so I wasn't comparing her version to Mariah's. I just didn't love it.

* Syesha - I l-o-v-e it when she wears her hair like that. She looked amazing and I thought she did a great job. I loved the ending. Obviously the judges didn't love it quite as much, but I thought it was super.

* Brooke - MAN that girl has some good posture. I thought the song was very pretty, although at the end I could tell she was getting nervous. Her husband is such a cutie and they're just such a down-to-earth looking couple that they're the kind of people I'd like to be friends with. I know that has nothing to do with her song, but I just wanted to say it. I was actually pretty hungry for a Whopper Jr. once the judges got done with the hamburger analogy.

* Kristy Lee - And while we're on the subject of hamburgers, I think Kristy Lee looked like she was eating a dill pickle the whole time she sang. Her face looked very pained. I thought her low notes sounded off, but otherwise...ehh, okay.

* David Cook - And THIS would be where I bawled my head off. NO question that he's my favorite to win now. I thought his song was exceptional, I was glad Randy stood up for him, he was my favorite of the night, and....just WOW. And seeing his brother there...oh that was just the end. And then when he started to cry...goodbye the rest of my mascara. You go, David Cook. You win.

* Jason - I liked his song, but I wish he could have performed before David Cook, because once David sang, I was ready to be done. I think Jason has come a long way from the beginning as far as having more fun and enjoying the whole experience.

And I agreed with Simon that the guys did the best tonight.

Well overall I wish that Carly and Kristy Lee would go home and the other five could all win something, because I think they're great and I don't know how to pick among them.

BUT. I rarely get the bottom 3 right, so I'll just give you my own personal bottom 3 - Carly, Kristy Lee, and Jason. Going home? Kristy Lee.

One

I'm about to settle down for a long evening's meltdown. Earlier today I was teased for planning my meltdowns...perhaps the ultimate sign of organization? :) I am only planning to cry because I'm about to watch the Biggest Loser finale, and those two brothers cry on EVERY SINGLE SHOW, and I have a feeling tonight will be no exception. I'm such a sucker for that sort of thing. After that I'll watch my American Idol tape. I read earlier today that David Cook's brother (the one with cancer) is going to be in the audience, so I'm sure I'll cry over that too.

So before I lose my mascara...

In keeping with the count-up to my birthday, I bring you the festive one year celebration.
My one year party was a family-only celebration that I am not quite sure I entirely comprehended. I seemed pretty happy about the balloon, though! And Skyepuppy - you'll notice that I was easing my way into the blonde moments...


Clearly I had no intentions of being a classy lady at this point in my life. My parents must have been so proud.

I'm a hands-on participant in celebrations. I don't remember that little riding/walking toy, but I had that toy cart for YEARS. It was a Precious Moments cart. Doesn't really look like I went without a whole lot at that celebration. And my Grandma made the cake up there behind me. It was a clown cake. How appropriate.

The Original Birth Day

...where it all began.

I have said bits and pieces of this before, but in case you're new to my blog, here's a trivia fact for you. I was born on Mother's Day - decided right from the start to make her work on her own holiday. How rude! Actually, I think she prefers to look at it as a great gift. I didn't have a lot of money back then, so I had to work with what I could, you know? (Don't have much more now, but I can't quite top THAT gift.)

Here's my mother's version of how the whole six or so hours prior to my arrival happened.

I worked Friday, May 12th, at school, and part of Saturday the 13th was spent preparing for Mother's Day (which was going to be held at your aunt's house). I decided to fix - for the first time - a peanut butter pie. I had the crust baked and the rest of the ingredients ready to put together Sunday morning. At supper on Saturday, I reacted to something funny Julie said (Julie is my next oldest sister...she would have been 15 at the time and will now probably kill me for giving you a way to figure out her age) about applesauce. (If I could just interrupt myself again to say...what is funny about applesauce?? Julie, Lori, if you have any additional insight on this mystery of my birth...please do share. Perhaps the trauma that ensued has led to my great dislike for applesauce to this very day?) Rowena and Norm (friends of my parents') stopped by. He ended up recording my contractions. We finally left for the hospital after contacting the doctor, but I didn't think it was necessary. Dad decided he should put gas in the old green van. While I waited on him to fill it up, my contractions increased. We arrived at the hospital about 11 p.m. and you were born a little over two hours later. All the pie stuff was still in the cabinet when I came home. I have still never made a peanut butter pie. And by the way - this was the year of the blizzard, so we all missed a lot of school because of weather, but I didn't miss any because I was old and pregnant.

May I also add that this "old green van" was...well...it was a piece of work. It was definitely old, although we still owned it until I was about ten. It was one of those Dodge vans with a flat nose and no seats except the front two...and carpet all over the inside. It was the chosen vessel to get her to the hospital because if they didn't make it...it was the backup plan for a roadside delivery.

Don't you just love this look I'm giving the nurse or whoever took this? Obviously this was prior to ten in the morning! :)


Oh Mom is gonna kill me when she finds out I posted this one. I actually think she looks really good for having been up all night on a holiday giving birth to a baby! And actually, when I looked at it just now I said, "Oh I have become my mother. I look exactly like this!" It's one of very few pictures I have together with my Mom when I was a baby. She was always the one taking the pictures - rarely was she in them. My hands were in mittens because I had some frighteningly long nails (already!) and they were trying to keep me from ripping up my face.

Well, in my defense, the mask IS scary. Meeting my Dad for the first time. He wrote in my scrapbook by this picture, "I had just seen the most miraculous event nature has to offer - and now I am holding her." Pretty sure I was the only one of the three of us that he got to be present for. Dads weren't allowed in the room for the first two.

Bits for Sunday, April 13, 2008

Well, the great countdown is upon us…starting tomorrow. One month until I cross the bridge from being twenty-something to being thirty. I am genuinely excited. I love celebrations and have decided, rather than to dread this impending over-the-hillness, to just embrace it and have as much fun with it as I possibly can.

Earlier today I updated my lovely layout here with a baby picture from my tinier days and a countdown banner to keep track of just how many days I have to go until the ultimate party day arrives. I looked at that picture of me in my little dedication dress…and I thought about the adventures of these years…adventures that I knew nothing about when I was propped up against the photography rug, smiling through some drool.

I think about that sometimes when I watch my friends’ kids. I see their little personalities start to pop out and I wonder what they’ll be like as adults…how will they grow and change? What things will impassion them and what things will make them giggle and cry and blush? What lives will surround theirs and what paths will they choose to walk to leave their footprints in the world?

My parents probably didn’t expect that little Drooley in a dedication gown would grow up to be a girl who tries to find the perfect blend of sarcasm, humor, and deep contemplation. A girl who drags a camera everywhere to capture any possible moment and glue it in a scrapbook. A girl whose idea of a journal is a massive hardcover book that gets to hold the memories of everything from ultimate humiliation to complete joy to “this-would-only-happen-to-you” ridiculousness. A girl who hates getting up in the morning no matter what enticing day stretches out ahead, but will stay up until 2 in the morning to cry over a sappy movie or bake chocolate chip cookies and resist getting sleepy for fear she might miss something exciting if she calls it a day.

I’ve exhausted my parents to some extent, I’m sure. But of course, giving birth in their forties probably made that a given. I listened to a tape earlier this weekend…Mom “interviewed” me on my fifth birthday, and I wore me out just listening to the tape. It’s just an audio recording, so you can’t see…but I am sure I was bouncing all over that room while she was trying to pull out of me important information like my favorite color (to which I answered “Red, just like it always is”) and my favorite food (“pizza” – which I had probably only eaten twice in my entire life at that point). I distinctly remember exasperating both of them with my “I will find this penny in my checkbook if it’s the last thing I do before I die” attitude in high school. And even now, just as they’re curling up for a long night’s rest, they’ll groan at my news of “Well I’m off to start cleaning the house” or some other craziness to be starting at 11 p.m.

In the last 30 years I’ve desired every possible career path from zookeeper to secretary to pastor’s wife to teacher to nurse to….financial aid counselor? Hmmm. I think that one just found me. I’ve had a number of hair colors and styles, and yet they accepted me as a daughter with each one – even as Ronald McDonald’s love child and bangs that required more hairspray than the family budget could afford. (These were not simultaneous do’s, you understand. Thankfully.)

They carted me to and from babysitting jobs prior to my license-holding years. Dad even drove all the way to one of the jobs when I called in a panic that I’d overloaded the toilet with baby wipes after one of the kids had an illness-induced diaper blowout and I didn’t know what to do. (It’s truly a wonder I made it this far into adulthood, now that I think about it.) They lived through dozens…hundreds?...of crushes and my cries of “but if I don’t marry him, I’ll just die” – assuring me with pats on the back that I would in fact, NOT die. And so far they’ve been right.

Yes, if they’d known all of this (and more) that 30 years ahead of them would entail when they stood over to the side and watched Drooley smile at the photographer, they might have sneaked out a side door and run for their lives.

But they didn’t, and I came home and managed to grow up and make it out on my own for lo these many years…and now I’m excited to look ahead to untold adventures to come.

This month I’m reading a book by Nancie Carmichael called Desperate for God. She writes about prayer and how a person’s prayer life can follow the stages of life itself…from infancy to youth to middle age to maturity. In her section on infancy, she writes this, which reminded me that regardless of how old I’m getting in real life, and how far behind me those childhood years get, I need to hang onto a bit of that innocence in my prayer life: “We come as children, pouring out to Him the essence of who we are – confessing our sin, our weakness. And as we grow to know Him more, our prayers take on different dimensions. But primarily, it is important to be very simple, very honest in prayer, calling out to Him from who and where we are, believing that He hears us.”

That’s something I learned as a child (somewhere in between drooling and driving) and I hope to never forget.

Well.

In response to the Idol comments on my last post....I have no words to say except WHAT????

That was not the right outcome. I don't think that Michael would have won the whole thing, but I also don't think he should have gone home last night - and apparently I am not alone in that opinion!!

I enjoyed the Shout to the Lord performance - hadn't seen that one on Idol Gives Back. (Didn't watch the whole thing.) That was really well done, I thought - and FINALLY!!! A song I knew!

This week has been a VERY crazy week. Tons of working over and very little free time. I enjoyed the work I was doing but I am 100% exhausted and ready to take it easy. Except I don't think I have time to do that - but at least the busyness will become another kind of busy.

I'll just sit here and continue to shake my head in amazement.

Totally Two

I've been working on my scrapbook of my 1-5 year old years. (This is how I am choosing to be able to relate to my friends who have kids and scrap. I scrap my own kid years and therefore have something in common with them. When I'm done...guess I'll borrow someone else's kids and start over until they move on themselves.)

Anyway, I found these pictures (don't you love the tint?) from when I was two. When I, as my sister so eloquently put it, "parted my teeth down the middle." She could say that. She did it too.

As I wrote in my book, I don't know if I truly went through the "terrible two's" or not - but obviously I started off the year with a full-fledged meltdown at the photographer's.

Mom told me tonight, when we talked about this particular picture...she was NOT amused when it was happening. I said "You weren't happy with the photographer or with me?" She said, "YOU! You were old enough to know how to sit and smile." Oh I just love it. I would have been annoyed with me too. She said it's cute now. I don't know about that.


I recovered...parted teeth and all. And for the record - if you look at where my knuckles SHOULD be - and all you see are dimples in fat? That went on for YEARS. I think I graduated from high school with baby fat on my hands. I thought it would NEVER end.

Top Eight Inspiration?

I hate saying this since I do love this top eight so much, but I didn't love this night as a whole. I wish I had loved it more. I am, however, looking forward to tomorrow night and the people who will be part of the Idol Gives Back show.

* Michael - He actually scared me. Especially on those high notes. I really didn't care for it at all, and I agreed with Randy that I don't think his song tonight showed who he really is. And I think he's seasoned enough to know who he really is, so I want to see more of that.

* Syesha - I cringed when I heard them say she'd sing a Fantasia song because I am not even remotely a Fantasia fan. And I don't remember her singing it at the finale at all...probably because I didn't really pay attention to anything she did. If Syesha wasn't as "emotionally connected," it's probably because Fantasia cried all the way through it or something. Anyway, I thought she did a FANTASTIC job and I wish she'd have gotten better reviews. Syesha, that is.

* Jason - I don't know that I would ever call him the "hottest" performance of the night. There's still too much quirk in him to fall into that category. Having said that, I thought he did a great job and was consistent in bringing his own mark to his music. I liked it.

* Kristy Lee - To quote my notes that I took (short term memory is not good...have to make notes) - "Rats. She did a good job." Other than Jason's song, this is the only one tonight that I knew, and I had some pretty high expectations for the song because Martina is Martina and you really shouldn't mess with her. And I actually thought she did a good job, and I agreed that it was her personal best of the season. HOWEVER. I'm still not thrilled with her attitude from last week...and I thought she kind of continued her "dig" of being consistently in the bottom by choosing the line from the song that talked about when people forget what you sing. But vocally - much better.

* David Cook - Oh I just love him and I hate it that he just seemed off tonight. I thought his voice sounded different. I liked it...but it sounded less rocker-ish and in that, it lost some of its definition that makes it HIM. But he's still the great David Cook.

* Carly - I didn't like it at all. I was once again distracted by the tattoo. I didn't agree with Simon on the outfit...I didn't like that at all. I thought Simon made a good point, though, that it seemed an angry performance, because her facial expressions were scary to watch. The screaming got to me - I thought (and Randy said it was so) that there were pitch issues. I just didn't like it. I agree with Simon that she could be in trouble.

* David Archuleta - Of course he did a great job. I am impressed at how well he handles playing while singing...for his age, that could be a tough thing to handle on that stage. I don't think it was his best EVER, but the end was awesome and he'll be just fine.

* Brooke - I'm scared for my Brooke. I just love her but the farther into this we get, she seems to be...I'm not even sure what to call it. I don't think she's losing confidence, but she seems more cautious...maybe? Guarded? I'm not sure what she's doing, but she's better than what she seems to be giving herself credit for....or more than she gives herself permission to be. Something. It was better than the Sunshine week or whatever that song was, but it didn't quite seem right.

Well last year on Idol Gives Back week they ended up not sending anyone home, but it didn't sound like they planned to repeat that this time. So this week I'd say the bottom 3 are Carly and Brooke...and then my third vote is a toss-up between Michael and David Cook. Neither of them should go home, but I am worried that they were just enough "off" their norm that whichever one has the smaller fan base could be in trouble.