Sunday, May 20, 2007

Some weeks I sit here and try to pick through the corners of my brain to think of even one thing worth writing about…and today I have so many thoughts zooming through, I can’t pin one down long enough to make a coherent bit of anything.

This week, I flew to Kansas to spend a few days with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece. The trip was a good one…if good is an appropriate word to use, considering the circumstances. The things I have to share are rather scattered, so I’ll just make a list of the things that stood out the most from this week. And maybe by the time I come back next week, I’ll have enough of a collected brain to get back to writing like normal.

* The pictures I’d seen, both on the news and from the three rolls of film my Mom and Dad brought back from their trip, adequately prepared me for what I saw in person. It was just bigger in person. The strangest feeling was walking up and down the streets and staring at the rubble and feeling guilty for staring at people’s personal lives. A widespread invasion of privacy.

* The strength of spirit in this town is just amazing. Obviously they hurt, but everywhere you went, there were signs that said things like “Newly installed skylight” or “For Sale: Indoor Pool.” And nearly anyone you talk to, no matter how much they’ve lost, will insist that they are among the fortunate and that so many more are in much worse shape.

* I rode with Lori out to the home of some people who are keeping the belongings they were able to salvage. To see their entire home reduced to less than a quarter of a 2 ½ car garage was a little tough to swallow. It made me want to come home and pack up a big chunk of my house and drive it out to them.

* Even as I sit here writing this, I’m glancing around my own house and feeling the need to start a list of what I have, so that if the need for it should ever arise, I’d have it – because watching them try to remember what was in the house was overwhelming to me. Magnify that by 10,000 and that’s the sense of being overwhelmed that they feel.

* Several times throughout the week, I listened to them remember something else that they’d not seen…and the mix of sadness and resignation became a familiar event by the end of the week.

* I came home with a sense of “I want to be like my big sister.” Right there in the middle of loss, she offered up her borrowed bed to her company, spent some of her money on a birthday gift for me, made it her mission to have meals at home for us – and not off the Red Cross wagon, and even made sure we got free t-shirts for our volunteer efforts. Amazing.

* Speaking of volunteer efforts, I did spend a morning helping with cleanup. I took a picture, as I’m sure many of you are skeptical of my participation in manual labor. It was hard to just pick up trash…I wanted to dig and find a treasure. But most of the treasure finding had passed by the time we arrive. But I did find a couple of Cassie’s sports medals!

* While I was out in that part of Kansas, I was able to spend about an hour visiting with my former pastor’s wife, Naomi. When I’d flown out last fall to watch Cassie play volleyball, Mom and I went to see Fred and Naomi. I’d not seen them – probably since I was in elementary school and they moved on from our church. Less than a month after that visit, Pastor Fred died. I was so glad we’d gotten to see them then, and I was excited to see Naomi again. She and I chatted about life, Fred, and a little bit of everything else.

* I also learned, in non-tornado-related news, that I actually do enjoy flying! I wasn’t sick this time, so the take-off wasn’t nearly so painful. AND – the best perk of the whole trip – on our very last flight, we were upgraded to first class! THAT is the way to go. Ahhh, the leg room, the elbow room, the snacks, and the real glasses! Amazing. Not sure how it happened, but YAY!!!

I’m sure there’s much more that I’m forgetting…but that was the week in a nutshell. Hopefully by next week, my normal brain cells will be back in place and I can once again write something sensible!

The New Normal

Well, I've had a few hours' sleep, anyway, and I think I'm coherent enough to write for real. :)

When Julie and I arrived on Wednesday, we had no idea what we would do while we were out here. As you've seen from the pictures I've posted, Lori and Jeff's house site and the church site are already dozed and cleaned up. There's still debris (or as some person wrote on a work order form, debree) scattered everywhere, but the digging sort of work was done before we arrived. So here's an idea of some of the things we've done and seen since we arrived. These things, I call the new normal.

We helped Lori spend the second half of her voucher at Wal Mart. I learned that the Wal Mart out here doesn't make me nearly so crazy as the one at home. My job was to run the calculator, so it was a lot like my normal grocery shopping adventure. She had a designated amount of money she was allowed to spend, and whatever she didn't spend, she lost. We came within seven cents, I believe. As we walked around and shopped, we also looked for things they used to have in their house so we could write down brand names and replacement value costs for the insurance papers.

Lori and Jeff do have a new (to them) car, and Cassie does too. But because of the mess in town, they're still using the loaner cars when they drive over there. Good thing, too, because the loaner van got a flat tire our first day here. Lori said it's weird to see everyone in new and borrowed cars. This is a town where everyone knew everyone by what they drove, and now nobody is recognizable anymore.

The town businesses had a meeting the other night in which they had to declare whether they were staying, leaving, or unsure. I think Lori indicated most planned to stay and rebuild. The co-op/grain elevator is already rebuilding, since wheat harvest is in a month.

When we drove through town yesterday, new poles had been set up and the electricity guys were up at the top putting up new wires. The water guys were testing water at hydrants. So life is rebuilding, some.

Like I said, we did get to tour their property, and I think we're going back today. I took a picture, which I'll post when I get home, that shows the basement of the church. It is the official storm shelter in town now, because it still has a roof - or rather the church upstairs still had a cement slab floor. I think it has yet to be inspected, but for now, in a flattened town, it's the best they have. The basement is damaged, but it is still there!

While pilfering around the property, I found a single page from a hymnal. It's the song Be Still My Soul. I thought that was pretty appropriate. I took it for my scrapbook.

Yesterday, Julie and I went with Cassie to Dodge City, about 50 miles away, to watch Cassie's boyfriend in a golf tournament. We only watched the last 3 holes, I think, because we didn't go until the end, but he did pretty well! Titlelist (not sure I spelled that right...golf is so not my thing) donated new clubs to the team, since theirs were blown away. I thought that was really nice! Anyway, that was my first and last time on a golf course. Nice experience, but no thank you.

When we came home, we helped Lori work on the cleaning of salvaged treasures. They washed stuffed animals and dishes, and my job was to pull pictures from album sleeves and determine which ones could be saved and which ones could not. I took pictures of all that, too. I'll post them later.

I'm not quite sure what we're doing today, besides going back over to tour/take more pictures. Tomorrow is the rescheduled graduation, and I think we're going before we fly home. I could be wrong.

So that is life here...in the new normal.

Meeting the President

My cousin, Shari, found this picture on the White House website, so I ferreted around this morning and found it too. :) This is a group of the ministers, I believe, praying with the president, the day he visited Greensburg.

The guy in the burgundy jacket on the right is Jeff. I think this is the jacket that he got for free - it's a Hardee's jacket that says "Russ" on the front. So now my sister calls him Russ. She calls him that so much, I'm starting to forget it's not really his name.

Big Week!

It has been a big week! Here are some highlights:

Monday was my birthday...I turned the big 2-9. I had a great day - despite being required to report for duty at work. Actually, work was great. I didn't get any upset phone calls, and the office threw me a little party. My friend Olivia went to lunch with me, and then my parents and my friend Marie took me out for dinner at Ivanhoes. I resigned myself to being an official grown up after I found myself thrilled to finally receive a Swiffer Wet Jet for a gift. :) And socks.

Tuesday I branched out and drove to my sister's house. Note to those who don't know...I despise driving in cities and refused to do it most of the time. But I had a big trip coming up and the easiest way to start it was to spend the night at her house. I survived the drive...and didn't even throw up! It wasn't without its scary moments, but I did it.

While there...I watched the American Idol show. Obviously it's a little late now for a rundown, but I thought Melinda had a rocky start and Jordin had a super night. I thought Blake should have gone home...but I'll get back to that.

Wednesday I did another grown up thing and boarded a plane. Note to those who don't know...my feelings for flying are similar to my feelings for driving in cities. But my sister Julie and I decided we needed to visit Kansas ourselves, and with our work schedules, flying was the only way to go. (And I boarded the plane hoping it would not be my way to go. Or my time.)

The flights were very successful. I learned on this, my second adventure in flying, that flying as a well person is better than flying as a sick person. I didn't mind it nearly as much. We arrived in Kansas about noon and drove to meet my sister and niece for lunch before touring Greensburg.

I was nervous about how I would react to seeing all this in person. I'd heard it was worse than the pictures. But I think my parents, who told me that, underestimated the amount of time I'd spent looking at pictures online and watching the news. I was very prepared for what I saw. Seeing it live is overwhelming in that you can't turn to the right or to the left and get away from it, like you can on TV. It's literally everywhere. But I didn't even cry (close your jaws, those of you who know what a water works girl I am) - and I felt very prepared.

There are great signs of new life in this town. There's pain and hurt...and I won't minimize that, because to do so would be wrong. Life has forever changed and normal is now a very different thing than it used to be. But there are sprigs of hope. I'll blog more about it later.

Lori, Jeff, and Cassie have moved out of the house they initially stayed in and are now staying with a couple in a big old house with lots of character. I really like it. We're staying here with them, and I was able to get online for a bit to try to catch up on life in Bekahland and beyond.

I think I'll be able to get on here again before I go, so maybe I'll be able to put more coherent thoughts down. (I haven't slept well since Friday night, so my brain is gone.)

Just wanted to say hi! OH! And if you want to see what I would have written about American Idol results, had I been able to get online then, go over to Christina's post (she's a link on the side) and read her post. I "amened" it.

More Cleanup Pictures on the MDS Site

My parents' friend, Sharon, has been reading my blog to stay up on life in Kansas, and she emailed me this link that I'd not seen yet (getting lazy in my searching, I guess). Thank you so much, Sharon! And welcome to Bekah's Blog! :)

http://www.mds.mennonite.net/Projects/Greensburg__KS

There are two galleries (one on top of the other) that have many great pictures of different homes, stories, and cleanup efforts in Greensburg. MDS helped clean up so many homes and were/are a huge help to the residents and members of the congregation!

The first several pictures in gallery 2 are of my family - and there are cleanup pictures different from the ones I have posted. (Hey Lori! When you get back to reading this one...nice Trio shirt! Where'd you get it?)

Pictures Have Arrived...and An Update

Good evening! I feel like I just posted 497 posts...but I wanted to try to give you several different angles of things you've not seen on the news, and I wanted to group them together in "stories."

Mom brought over a stack-o-pictures today, and I must compliment her on doing a GREAT job with the photography. She's been known to behead people in photos....

I talked to Lori and Cassie this evening and both seemed in really great spirits. Cassie was able to get a car, which is a huge blessing to her. Being a teenager and stuck at home is really no fun. They hadn't planned on getting one for her just yet but God worked out the perfect opportunity, so they did! Cassie was also very excited to have a hairdryer. Hey, I hear her there. I'd have probably forfeited an underwear rotation for a hairdryer. (I'm KIDDING!)

Lori is going to start helping with some of the volunteer efforts - that's my sister for you! Out of a home and giving of her time anyway. I'm proud of her.

They were able to move into temporary home #2 today, so she spent some time organizing what she does have.

Below are several posts of pictures - hopefully you'll be able to click and enlarge some.

Refuge

This picture looks directly in on the spot where they took refuge. It is a picture taken from the back porch, looking down into the basement. Right behind that center board, you can see a tan oval - it's the toilet seat. Cassie sat there with Midnight in her lap and her parents on either side.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;

His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart...

Psalm 91:1-4

Thank you, God, for covering my family with Your wings.

I love You.

The Aftermath...Help Has Arrived

Dad and Cassie took a break to get some lunch during cleanup.

I posted earlier about the "mall" that had been set up so those in need could receive everything from food to clothing to a new drivers license. Here is a picture of the mall.

The Aftermath...Misc.

Several of their belongings ended up caught in pine trees at the edge of their property. I believe this is taken there. The shirt was one of their Super Bowl shirts. My other sister, as I understand it, has already sent replacements.

Lori's sense of humor, ever at work. She put out her yard sale sign.

The Aftermath...of Lori's School

My sister was a teacher's aide in the elementary school. Mom said amazingly enough, this was one of the better looking classrooms. This is her room - she is standing by her desk. She found her box of animal crackers, so she took them, because the tour of town made her hungry. Everything IN her desk was still in it - including her recess whistle.

The hallway leading to her classroom. I walked down this very hall last September when I visited for Cassie's volleyball games. This was a very sad picture for me to see. (Not that other ones weren't...)

The Aftermath...of the Church

This is the church from a bit of a distance. If you look way in the back, you can see the cars that were under the car port. As you can see...literally nothing was left standing. In the front of the picture...the little pile of bricks...is the sign for the church.

This gives another angle to a picture I'd posted a few days ago (that I found on the MDS website). The red is the carpet to the sanctuary - and you can see a few pews in this one.

Amazing the things that survive unscathed...in the cabinet of the fellowship hall...unbroken glass dishes.

Beams to the sanctuary. Mom and Dad said they only found 3 or 4. This boggled my mind. Those dishes weren't broken and it tossed beams like a boomerang.

The Aftermath...of the "Jump"

I hope I can explain this one well enough for you to understand. This first picture was taken from the back porch steps looking down into the basement. If you look to the left, you will see the bathroom where they were hiding during the storm. The pink towel is kind of over the sink area...you can see the cabinets there. To the far left is the shower, and then if you look just under the green towel, you'll see the tan cover of the toilet seat. That's where they all huddled.

Now, if you look to the right side of the picture, you will see planks. the top part of the picture is the top of the stairs that led up from the basement. The bottom part leads to the steps. As you can see (the planks weren't there after the tornado...) they had to jump from the stairs to the steps because the floor that led from one to the other was completely gone. They did this in the dark with only a flashlight.

This is the same thing from the front porch...you can see the carpet ripped off the top two steps , the planks and then behind that white wall to the right is the bathroom. You can see what I think would be the washer and dryer to the left of the stairway. That would mean they fell from directly above.

The Aftermath...of the Cars

In one of the pictures I posted earlier (I'd found it on the MDS website) - I mentioned the cars in the background. I thought the van was my sister's. And it was. Here are the same cars from the front. Clearly, they are totaled. Just to give you an idea...they had been parked under the carport of the church.

And here's a front view of their other two cars in the garage. In front of them...actually not a deep freeze as you might think. (They had one sitting right about there, but they have yet to find it. Found the meat that was in it...by smell.) This was the refrigerator from their kitchen. If you look closely, you can see the drink dispenser on the door. That was a new purchase within the past six or so months.

The Aftermath...of the House

Here are some views of their home itself. I'll do my best to give you some perspective.

This first picture is where part of the upstairs (primarily the kitchen) fell into the basement. You can see the car in the background - and it is up in the garage (or rather, on the slab that once was the garage). All this stuff fell down into the "great room" part of the basement. You can see the kitchen chair...some cabinets...and the ironing board, which I'm guessing fell from the laundry room next to the kitchen. Somewhere it lost its cover.

This is the house from the street level. As you can see...it was truly "gone."

One of the last pictures Mom took before she left. After they were done pilfering, the MDS crew cleaned out the entire basement of all debris. Lori and Cassie are standing where the bathroom had been - where their lives were saved. You can see the bathroom plumbing pipe behind them and the back door stairs above their heads. The two "sticks" in the middle are, I believe, support beams that were in the "great room" of the basement to support the ceiling.

Okay So Maybe I Didn't Make the USA Today, But...

Back on April 18th, I wrote a post about how I was mentioned in the editorial of the Sojourn, which is the campus newspaper. I said it wasn't quite the USA Today, but it was close.

Well, Jeff really did make it into the USA Today - today. You can go here to read the article about yesterday's community church service. In the picture, you can see the backs of some of the ministers. The one in the blue t-shirt that says "Blackburn" is Jeff. He's not quoted in the article, but he is in the picture!

Tornado Update

I promise the pictures do exist. Mom says I should have them by tomorrow, so I'll be able to spend some time posting tomorrow evening.

Meanwhile, the newspaper had a pretty nice article in today's paper. You can find it here. There aren't any pictures with the article, but it does tell the story from Jeff's perspective. I learned a couple of things I'd not heard before, at any rate.

I talked to Lori yesterday and asked how the town meeting went Friday night. She said the mayor announced he already had his building permit and was planning begin reconstruction on his home soon. (Nice symbolism of leadership!) They were able to turn on the lights at the baseball diamond (I think that was the place she said) - so there's at least that much functioning electricity in town. Dillons, the supermarket, announced its intention to rebuild. She said she imagined that meant the Kwik Shop would also be back, because they are under the same ownership. The Kwik Shop is the convenience store. A girl after my own heart, Lori appreciates the need for fountain drinks. :) She also said the kids have been promised a bigger, better school than the one they had before.

In other "nice" news, she told me that the phone company has stopped billing the town effective the night of the tornado. They have also offered to forward original home phone numbers to new, temporary dwellings if people wish to have that done. She explained that typically, the surrounding towns are long distance from each other but have temporarily been switched to local calling to make it easier for family and friends to stay connected in this time. She was able to set up a post office box - free of charge for two months. A big thank you to the phone company and post office for making these services available!

No decisions have been made yet regarding their church. It is still too overwhelming for the congregation. They're focusing on trying to clean up their homes.

I realize that's not a ton of information, but it is what I have for now!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

I’ve done so much writing this week to keep everyone up to date on life after a tornado…that I wasn’t sure what was left to say for today’s “official writing.” I wanted to say something non-tornado related, something fun, something different.

This is something I’ve wanted to do for a while now, since one of my blogging buddies did something similar on her blog, and I decided this was the perfect week to make such a list of my own. I call it “Bekah by the Numbers.”

73. Number of cents I spend on my daily Polar Tea. Okay, they’re really called Polar Pops, but I gave up pop for the year, so my 32 ounce cup contains tea. And by the way, not that I’m bitter, but inside of a week ago, that number was only 63. Did I mention it went to 73 with NO warning?

41. Number of years my mother had been alive when I showed up. Say it with me: woops!

29. Number of years I have lived on this earth – effective tomorrow.

27. Number of articles I have sold in my lifetime. I probably shouldn’t admit it is that low…if I’d worked harder, I could have sold a lot more. But still, that’s pretty good!

20. Number of dollars I spent on a $100 mirror I found at Hobby Lobby. It had a chip out of the top of the frame, so it was marked down. Once I hung it up, you couldn’t even see the chip. I love Hobby Lobby sales! (Oh, and by the phrase “I hung it up,” I actually mean “Dad hung it up.”)

16. Number of completed scrapbooks I own. I also have 2 in progress and several more that I’ve given away after I made them. Roll your eyes if you like, but there are worse addictions. I promise you.

11. Number of years I took piano lessons. Also the number of years I didn’t apply myself, so you can’t really tell I took lessons for that long. I can pick out a tune, but I’m not proficient by any means.

10. Number of dollars off a $10 or more purchase at Fashion Bug…my favorite coupon to receive in the mail. Also one of my greatest challenges. I will scour that store from top to bottom and try to walk out with the most things in the bag after spending the least amount of money. I’ve found some great deals!

9. Number of years I had been alive when I dealt with my first babysitting emergency. I was watching a baby in the church nursery right before church began, and he had a seizure. I remained calm until help had been summoned. Then, in true Bekah fashion, I fell apart completely.

8. Number of hours a day I’m on the clock. Sometimes it ends up being more than that – during busy season – but lately we’ve been lucky enough to not be so overwhelmed.

7. Number of days between my birth and my oldest sister’s graduation from high school. Needless to say, it was a rather busy week for my Mom. Leave it to me to create chaos from the start. Drama, drama, drama.

6. Number of weddings in which I have been an attendant. Each one contained such treasure filled stories…I’ve written about them before. In wedding number seven, I’d like to be at the front of the line wearing white, please.

5. Number of rooms I lived in during my college years. My freshman year, I moved from one room to another at the semester break, but then I lived in the second room until the end of my sophomore year. Then I lived in a room in an apartment for my junior year, moved to another apartment for the summer between my junior and senior year, back to the first apartment room for my senior year…and then ended up in a room by myself for the last semester of my senior year.

4. Number of rooms in my home that I have painted thus far. I’m taking a break from painting this year to spend my money on more “fun” things…like new tires, an electrician, and the sewer guy. But never fear. Painter Bekah SHALL return.

3. Number of childbirths I have attended in my lifetime. By far, three of the most amazing experiences of my entire life as well.

2. Number of cats who live in my house. In case you’ve forgotten the particulars, Kaegan is six, and Braeya just turned one.

1. Number of rough draft, book-length manuscripts I’ve completed. My goal is to pursue publication on it this year. Scares me to death, but kind of exciting at the same time!

0. Number of times I’ve seen the ocean. This is a definite “must do” for me at some point in my lifetime! Can’t wait!

I’m sure there are many things I should have put on the list but they didn’t occur to me. Maybe “Bekah by the Numbers” will return sometimes with more trivia!

Birthdays!

While I wait on tornado pictures, here are some recent pics from life at my house.

My first birthday gift this year was from Angela - who used to be my roommate. I loved this gift, not only because I love the gift, but because of the reason she gave it to me. I sent my stuffed bunny, Hippity, out to Kansas to comfort Cassie. Hippity was the bunny that got me through college...got our whole suite through college. Now he has moved on to other missions. Angela knew I sent him and went to Build A Bear to build me a new bunny. He's GREAT!

The night of the tornado (also Lori's birthday) was Braeya's first birthday - here are some pictures from her big evening. A box of kitty treats from my parents. (She's part pig, so she was extremely interested in this.)

A distraction for hours on end...the gift I gave her. She wrestled this thing all evening!

Finally worn out after too much birthday!

Meanwhile...

...I love it that God can multi-task. I hesitate to write this, because I'm sure in light of all that has happened in "the real world" this week, this really doesn't matter. But it matters to me, and it's my blog, so I guess that gives me the right to write!

I paid a visit to my actually semi-friendly BMV today. I laughed out loud when they handed me a receipt declaring that my transaction time had taken 2 minutes and 14 seconds. Because clearly...I spent my entire lunch hour in that place. And then some. I had to call in to work to report that I hadn't fled the county (as I am known to threaten to do on my way out the door for lunch). But anyway, a rather significant holiday takes place this coming Monday...a holiday which leads to the expiration of my license and the need for a new one.

You must understand that I was rather attached to the picture on my old license. It was a great hair day, I was sort of tan...loved it! I had prepared myself to be unable to top what I'd accomplished that day four years ago. I was NOT prepared for what I saw when they handed me the little card. It wasn't a bad picture. I was smiling, my eyes were open, the lady had zoomed out purposefully to include my chunky necklace (a gesture I found very kind)...but I looked ten years older than I am.

Not that the age looming ten years in my future is old. I just don't want to look that age yet. I don't even want to look my real age.

That little bump in the day, of course, magnified the aforementioned tornado situation, and I was a wreck by mid-afternoon. Our secretary came back to tell me someone had come to the office and asked for me...and she didn't know a name. All the way from my office to the front desk, I prayed, "PLEASE, Jesus. I had a bad license picture. I cannot take a mad parent. Please just let them be kind."

I walked out front to find the mother of two fantastic young ladies I've been privileged to serve as part of my caseload for the past five years. This Mom has been a joy. She has been patient and loving and polite, even when stressed. And her daughters are following in her footsteps. What a joyful, loving family.

And that sweet Mom stood out in our lobby with a vase full of flowers...for me. I cried. (Shocker.) It's a treat to get a verbal thank you...this was my first round of flowers, ever. I love flowers, so this was the most perfect gift. And then she stood there and started pulling things out of a sack...a book...a candle...a card. All for me. Just because.

I told her this could not have come at a more perfect time and hugged her so tightly she probably lost all her air. The secretary had already told her I was having a bad day, and this Mom looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't know what you think you've done wrong today, but for my family, you've done five years of right."

If I could have framed her words, I would have. What a gift! That whole visit was directly from God, and I know that. Even in the middle of helping a town clean up a tornado, He had time to zoom in on my little office and my bad picture...and He sent me an angel.

Moving Forward

I am anxious to see the pictures my Mom brings back from Kansas. Incidentally, Mom's typical track record with film is to start a camera (she uses one time use cameras) at Christmas and sometimes by the fourth of July, she might be ready to develop it. So for her to purchase, use, and develop one camera in one week is....amazing. ( :D Love you, Mom!)

Anyway, she's been telling me about the "mall" in Haviland. Let me just explain to you the size of Haviland. There's no stoplight in the town...never mind that there's a college there. Kansas towns are so confusing. You would think they would be big based on what they contain. But they're not. Anyway, I'm not even sure there's a convenience store in this place, but now there is a "mall." I guess it has just all kinds of different things for people to take for free. Now that is my kind of mall! She said she took pictures of it, so I am curious to see exactly what this setup looks like.

I talked to Lori last night and found out the following updates. Some of you had asked about these sorts of things, so here's the scoop.

* They will have a vehicle very shortly. The denomination owns a vehicle that is currently not in use, so they will bring it for them to use for the short term future. Perhaps by that time, they'll be able to purchase a new one. Had this unused vehicle not been available, the denomination was going to rent something for them...so they would have still been covered. I'm appreciating the work of the Mennonites more and more! They take care of their own!

* They do have a place to live temporarily. Some people they know have offered them a spot in the upstairs of their home. This will give them privacy and a place to stay until they know what the next step will be. I'm not sure when they move into this place, but it will be soon. A praise here is that the people have cats, so they are welcoming Midnight (Cassie's cat) into their home. I'm told that Midnight will likely not reciprocate that welcome to the host kitties...but she'll survive. (Hopefully the other cats do too!)

* Lori told me they were able to go spend the first part of their voucher last night. They chose to take their voucher in two halves, because once they get it, they have to spend it and whatever they don't spend, they lose. They are learning that there are lots of things you can get for free (probably from "the mall") so they're trying to become educated about what they can get and what they can't...so they don't waste the voucher on stuff that's free elsewhere. They'll go back next week to spend the second half.

* She feels so blessed by all the donations that have rolled in for their family personally. Over and over she said to me, "We have so much more than so many people...we're going to be fine." Friends and family have been sending care packages and gift cards and money, so they're able to get through for this time. This is a huge blessing because they cannot get an insurance settlement on the contents of their house until "the list" is made. (See posts below for info on "the list.") She explained to me that the homeowners in town have already received their settlements - because they were just written off as total losses - and she saw many of them in Wal Mart last night buying microwaves and "bigger stuff." But because they lived in a parsonage, they didn't own their home. So they have to go through the making of the list in order to receive a settlement. So.....the donations are an extra blessing.

It seems like she told me more that I was going to pass along, but I don't remember now what it was. So anyway, for now, thank you to all of you who are helping to get them through this time. They continue to appreciate your prayers!

Little Miracles

Well the "finding stuff" prayers must be working. They have been working furiously today to clear out the basement of anything that might have caved in during the storm. So far, I know of the recovery of the following items:

* A photo album containing pictures of my nephew. HUGE, HUGE praise, since this was the baby that died and I was so hoping they would recover his few belongings.

* A couple of heirlooms that they had figured were gone gone.

* A "sisters forever" scrapbook I made for Lori as Christmas gift a couple of years ago.

* A few Christmas items.

I'm so excited for them at these discoveries. I believe this day concludes the pilfering extravaganza. By tonight the bulldozer will have cleared the property and the basement will be an empty hole.

New Life

Last night I had the chance to talk to Jeff for the first time...and then finally a "real" conversation with Lori, uninterrupted by other phone calls. I hung up from both conversations feeling more encouraged by them than they probably felt by me.

Jeff has reached a place of peace in his heart over what has happened. That decision makes the situation no less devastating, of course, but he is ready to move forward and stop digging for the past. I told him twice that he was a better person than I...that I would not be able to get over the very personal losses. He told me that before this happened, he would have classified himself the same way, but now he is okay with it, he doesn't want to look anymore, he doesn't want to find anymore...he just wants to start over.

The church site was bulldozed last night, and now he awaits the decision of the congregation and denomination regarding the future of the church. I know he will be in on that decision making process, but he is not the only one, so please pray for the right choices to be made by everyone involved.

Lori thanked me for the rather eclectic collection of "stuff" I sent out with Mom and Dad. Yesterday was a very hard day for me in terms of feeling like I wasn't doing enough, after I started hearing and seeing what everyone else was doing. So to hear that she was excited about what I'd been able to send was good. She told me some very touching stories about what the students of other (rival) school districts are doing to uphold the students of Greensburg. So many are donating money and replacement items (personal sorts of items, like uniforms) to the high school students. One school paid for a tent and chairs for graduation, originally scheduled for this weekend and now postponed for just a bit. Though I wasn't involved in sports in high school, I grasp the concept of high school rivalry...and to hear that students want to put that aside to replace what has been lost is very sweet.

Lori told me that she thinks the remains of the house will be dozed today. Though so much has not been found...there's really not much left to look through. Apparently most things really did blow away and will likely never be recovered. All in all they found a little over a dozen totes of salvageable items, which is a praise.

Please continue to pray for Cassie who is still struggling with sunburn-related illness.

Pray also that as they begin to make the list for the insurance company, that their minds will be clear enough to remember everything they owned. At the time of my conversation with Lori last night, she had a grand total of four items on her list. :)

Good Choice, America

I was very happy with the outcome of last night's Idol show. While I love Lakisha and hope she has a long and successful career in the world of music...she was my least favorite of that particular four. I still hold to a preferred finale of Jordin and Melinda...but then I really want Blake to do well, too. Sigh. So many decisions.

What a Day!

While I know that this is a small bright spot in light of the devastation, a couple of exciting things happened for my family today.

First of all, Miss Cassie was interviewed by an ESPN reporter doing an article on Greensburg athletes. I found it here - and I thought it was nicely written. I think it's a pretty big deal to be on the ESPN site when you're in high school!

Secondly, you probably saw that President Bush visited the town today. Initially I think most people planned to keep right on working through his visit (as nice as it is to have the President come to town, unearthing more of your possessions certainly takes priority), but it rained, so work was delayed. My brother in law actually met the President and shook his hand! Again - a pretty big deal!

I don't know any more details about the meeting/hand shaking than that because I only found out through a voicemail my sister left me, and I have YET to talk to my brother in law since this entire thing happened.

I know they would readily exchange a mention on ESPN and a chance to meet the President just to have their belongings back - and their lives back.

Please continue to pray for them. I haven't had a chance to find out more requests from them, but I'm going to guess at these:

* Weather cooperation. Please pray that more rain and storms don't keep coming so they can continue to search.

* Strength. I can tell that shock is wearing off and reality is arriving. It is hard to realize that work is no longer chasing kids down the hall of a school or preparing a sermon for Sunday or studying for a test...but covering the same ground you covered yesterday. Hoping to find something new and hoping to wake up and find this all a bad, bad dream.

* Health. Cassie has really taken a sunburn hit. She told me just now that she visited a medic tent in town and was able to get some medicated ointment (or something medicated, anyway) to help with the burn. She's sore and hot and hurting.

* Wisdom. So many decisions have yet to be made - not only for the future but how to spend the money they get, little by little.

* Extended family. Please pray for those of us who are trying to support them from afar, have no idea what to say (that would be me), and desperately just want to fix it...yet can't.

News from Greensburg

My parents arrived in Greensburg yesterday for a short visit and to help with cleanup efforts. I think my Mom was pretty taken aback by the extent of the damage. My aunt reminded me that Mom and Dad don't have the internet or cable/satellite, so all the hours of images the rest of us have seen online and on TV have told us much more than she knew. She did watch TV at some friends' house Saturday and had some idea of the damage, but not as much as the rest of us. Even so, I'm sure that in person, it's much worse.

They uncovered a few more treasures yesterday. I didn't get as much information as I had the day before, but I think they found a few more pictures and Cassie found some of her sports medals. Cassie was also able to get into her locker at school and found a hoodie and some other personal things. She left the textbooks. ;) That's my girl.

They did plan to return to the property today to do some more searching, but I think they were also going to try to go to town to buy some things. Thank you to all Mom and Dad's friends who stopped by with donations before they left for Kansas. I know that money will be a big blessing as they try to buy basic necessities.

Continue to pray for their safety as they work in and around the rubble. Mom mentioned yesterday that as time goes by, the smell goes up. Hadn't thought about food that had been in freezers now thawing and stinking...and hiding. Please also pray for relief from the sun. Cassie said she was really, really burned yesterday, and very sore too. Don't pray for so much sun relief that you pray in more rain or anything...just some cloud shade.

Some of you had asked and to Cassie's knowledge, none of the fatalities were members of their church or close friends of theirs. That in no way lessens the impact of those deaths, of course, but just answers that question.

American Idol...A Break from CNN

I've been forcing myself to step away from my TV and my computer tornado research to try to participate in normal life now and then. So since tonight was American Idol night, I thought that would serve as a good distraction.

I have to say I was more than a little disappointed in tonight's show. For being so excited about this top four, I was not thrilled with their delivery.

Here are my opinions:

Melinda. Still as classy as ever, I thought her first song did come up a bit short of her true potential. I agreed with Simon that she seemed to fall back into her "backup singer" mode. She did not seem to star in that song like she could. But when she stepped out for round two...Melinda was back. She has so much soul! I understand what Paula was saying when she told Melinda to break out a little bit. She does need to cut that final tie of reservation and just go crazy with a song. But she came back to being passionate and persuasive in that second song. Another thing I really appreciate about her is how genuinely she seems to welcome criticism of any sort. She is not out looking for compliments. She wants to know the truth and I believe she does a good job of applying what they offer.

Blake. It was a rough night for Blake. Maybe that was because he was SO good last week with his one risky song. I'm not sure. I didn't really like either song that much, and the dancing in the one was bordering on scary. I think Randy needs to leave him alone about beatboxing. He did very little of it in each song tonight and I think if that's his thing and he wants to work it in now and then, let him. It's what preserves his individuality. Besides, for several weeks, he left it out entirely! I would ordinarily agree with Simon that Blake is vulnerable this week, but I think his status as the only male in the competition will buy him enough girl votes to make up for what he lost in performance tonight.

Lakisha. I couldn't even look during the first song. The outfit scared me so much. I thought she looked SO classy in the second song...that green dress was beautiful on her. But please, I beg of you, leave spandex leggings for someone Haley's size. (See, Phats? I can say something nice about Haley.) Her rendition of Stayin' Alive (officially the only song I knew tonight) was less than wonderful, in my opinion, and the second song lost me when she lost her voice. I know Paula told her not to worry about it, and I know it's the only time she's ever done that, and I know it happens, but she could not afford any error this week. Though I love her and wish her well in general, I think she should go home.

Jordin. Ahhh...the sweet breath of fresh air. Miss Jordin. I totally agreed that her first song was the best of that round. She did a beautiful job. And I was really moved by the second song. I know the judges didn't like it that well, but this untrained ear really loved it. I didn't think it was too pageant-y. That was Haley. (See, Phats? I'm back.) Jordin is beautiful, she's fun, I love her spirit, and I hope to see her in the finals.

Having said all of that, I truly hope Lakisha goes home next week, and I'd love to see a final two of Melinda and Jordin. And once we get down to those two, I want a tie because I simply cannot choose.

Wreckage Part 2

These are a few more pictures I found here - at the Mennonite Disaster Service website. This group has been such a blessing and help to Lori and Jeff. They have arrived to help with personal searches and church business as well. Lori told me last night that she found one of the earrings I gave her for Christmas. Well, a volunteer from MDS helped her find it. It was in the yard and the lady picked it up. Lori told her to keep an eye out for the other one - and the matching bracelet and necklace. (Love her sense of humor.)

I know the red in this picture is the carpet of the church. I don't know (because I can't quite get my perspective in this picture) if this is the foyer or the sanctuary. Either way, you can clearly see how completely the walls were wiped out. My brother-in-law is the one on the right and the other two men are from MDS (their names are on the website).

I don't know where he is standing in this picture. I think it might be the back side of the church in the parking lot - perhaps looking over to his property. I'm not sure.

I believe here they are looking onto the church area, but I'm not sure. Those two vehicles appear to have broken windows, so they may have been in the lot during the tornado. The car is unrecognizable to me - the van may have been Lori and Jeff's. I know it was totaled, but I don't know what kind of specific damage it sustained.

Thank you, MDS, for taking and posting these pictures so our family could see people and places we know. This helps tide us over until we can see the pictures taken by family. And thank you for helping our family and the people they love when we are so many miles away right now.

Wreckage

I got this picture here - the website for the Mennonite Disaster Service. The man on the left (in turquoise, if you're directionally challenged) is my brother in law. I'm not sure if this is their house or their church...I'm venturing a guess that it is the house. There are other pictures on the MDS website if you want to look.

Search and Salvage

I just hung up from talking to Lori and Cassie about their pilfering day today. I have a number of praises and prayer requests to pass along to you.

PRAISE! They were able to work a full day today of searching through the town. At one point, rumor circulated that there was an ammonia leak from the car of a train (probably wreckage) and they might be asked to leave. But they were able to work through the whole day without being kicked out. The disaster relief team that showed up (church related) helped them sift through their property and my sister seemed very thankful for the additional pairs of hands.

PRAY that little "blips" like the ammonia leak or more inclement weather do not come up often so that all the residents can spend their days focusing on the recovery of whatever they can find.

PRAISE! HUGE, huge praise...my sister found her purse. She was the only one in the family who did not pack a bag to go to the basement for the storm...kind of a curse of living through so many tornado warnings. They never hit...and then this one did. She was so relieved to have her wallet back, most of all. Other praises in the wreckage (please note that some are not necessities, but you can understand the joy of having back some of the "fun" stuff of life too): Cassie found some of her DVDs including both seasons of Gilmore Girls that she owned. She was also excited that she found some of her school/sports clothing. Those sorts of things hold irreplaceable memories. Other clothing was salvageable too. Very muddy and some mending needed, but at least it's fixable. Lori found her wedding album which is such a blessing. They found other pictures as well. The scrapper in me is especially grateful for this.

PRAY that they will continue to find other memories. The biggest, most urgent request in my mind for them is the box that contains the memories of their son, who was stillborn almost 19 years ago. Those things can never ever be replaced, and they have already lost him, so to lose what little they had to remember him by is extra devastating. I am begging God for them to find this particular item.

Other items that could use your prayer:

*Protection from the sun. One of those little things you don't think about...there aren't any trees anymore, so there's NO shade. They all wore sunscreen today, yet were burned. To wear long sleeves or pants would be too hot...so T-shirts and shorts are necessary. Please pray that they don't get so burned that they're too sick to work.

*Time to pilfer. A rumor circulated today that the time they have to search before equipment comes in to bulldoze may not be long. Please pray that they have the comfort of ample time to comb through every inch of ground they can possibly cover. And pray that enough helpers come to their aid to make that process speed right along.

* Emotional comfort. Not only is this hard physical labor...it's just tough on the old heart. Please pray for their spirits (which are amazingly good now) to continue to be lifted as they find things ruined...and as they remember things they can't find at all.

* Clarity of mind. Lori was trying to explain to me the very daunting task they face together as a family of filling out the insurance forms...trying to remember every item they owned and pulling serial numbers off of whatever appliances and things they can find. This is a crazy task for anyone to tackle on a good day...but to do it when physically and emotionally spent is NUTS.

* Extra strength for my brother-in-law. He's been wearing the family hat and the clergy hat and I know as they begin to deal with the losses of the fatalities in addition to just reality setting in and their own personal loss - his burden is great. He and I have had some great conversations on email lately and I would ask especially that if you feel led to pray for him, you would pray that he's able to find his time to commune with God. This is something he and I are both working on growing in our spiritual lives, so I understand why it is so important to him. I know that the loss of his sanctuary where he met with God is going to make that task harder. And yet it's what he needs now more than ever.

* Wisdom for decisions. The task of search and salvage is the most immediate, but close on its heels are decisions for the future...where to live, what to buy with the money they have, what is in store for the town and the church...those sorts of things. Pray for the community and church leaders as they work together to make these decisions.

* God's greatness to be shown. It continues to be the deepest prayer of my heart that my family would represent God well and that all over town, God would be seen in the aftermath of tragedy.

My heart is so grateful for the sparing of their lives and for the MULTIPLE blessings that have poured out to them and to our whole family. Thank you to each of you who have given me hugs and sent me emails/blog comments and called me. I know this hasn't hit me, but it's hit my heart, and your support is carrying me through this and making it possible for me to pray for my sister, my brother in law, and my niece.

Prayer Suggestions

Good morning! I thought I would post for a minute with some suggestions of ways to pray for those of you who might want to know how best to direct your requests.

1. Cassie told me last night that they've been told they can get in this morning and throughout the day to sift through their property. Obviously this will be a very emotional task. Please pray for strength and calmness of spirit as they look for anything salvageable.

2. Please pray for their safety. None of the structures (or former structures) can be very safe, I'm sure, so pray that there are not serious injuries among the community members as they stir up the sites.

3. Though this may seem a selfish request in some ways, please pray that they would find things to keep. To lose everything at once is devastating. Pray that they would find keepsakes and necessities that they can use as they rebuild their lives.

4. Pray for my brother-in-law, the pastor, as he works together with the elders of the church and with the denominational relief organization that has come in to assist him and the church. Much cleanup is ahead not only in homes, but at the church site as well...and many decisions need to be made.

As I hear more things, I'll post those as well so you can pray in those directions. For those of you who have asked me how you might be able to help - probably gift cards are the best idea. And more specifically, Wal-Mart cards. That's about all they have out there. At this time, to send things would be difficult because they don't really have a mailing address at this exact moment. And even if they did, no home to store stuff in.

Thanks so much for those of you who have reached out...you are a blessing!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

In the last two days, I’ve tried to get chicken nuggets out of the ice cube trays, fished for a drinking glass in the coffee filter drawer, and stopped at a green light. This is in addition to multiply losing my train of thought, going through more Puffs Plus with Aloe than in a normal cold and flu season, and being unable to stop my brain long enough to sleep – even when it’s two in the morning.

No, it’s not early onset Alzheimer’s. It’s…shock? As mentioned in the two posts below, my sister Lori and her family lost their home, their church, and their entire town Friday night when the now-famous tornado ripped through Greensburg, Kansas. Greensburg. A Mayberry-esque town that my sister always credited with being the place no one knew. She was more than a little shocked when I told her yesterday that it was on Fox…CNN…MSNBC…all the channels.

When my Dad called Friday night to tell me that there had been a tornado, everyone in her household was okay, but the house and church were gone, I was true to my Bekah-fashion and completely freaked out. Full fledged freaking – complete with hyperventilating, crying, and pacing. That news was bad enough, but to “wake up” Saturday morning…did I ever go to bed Friday night?...and see the daylight footage of the storm’s aftermath put devastation in a whole new category. Recovering from home and church loss is one thing. Recovering from town loss is quite another.

I forced myself to occasionally get up from the couch yesterday…to mow the yard…to do laundry…to clean the house…to have coffee with Marie…to watch a movie…things that needed to be done more than CNN needed to be watched. And yet while I mowed or cleaned or did laundry, I felt just a bit guilty that I had a yard to mow…a house to clean…and clothes to wash…when more miles away than I can get to, my own family is without all of it. And not just my own family, but family after family.

And this morning, about 12:30, I was cleaning and exercising and making the bed, knowing how ridiculous it is to be doing all those things at midnight when church is just hours away, but the thought of going to bed was nauseating. Who can sleep? So I was on the phone trying to sort out my feelings once more, and finding myself as confused when I hung up as I had been at the start of the conversation.

And this is just me. This is just a fraction of what my sister, my brother-in-law, my niece, all of Greensburg must be feeling. Fortunately for Lori, (and for those around her) she is a much stronger person than I am. I cry at Burger King commercials. She holds it together in a tornado. How again are we related?

This morning I was working my way through the purse-sized Kleenex collection during the morning worship service, wondering why I’d settled on my traditional second row seat. That’s all people needed…a mascara-losing Bekah in the second row, hiccupping through songs.

But we sang the worship chorus How great is our God…How great is our God…And all will see how great, how great is our God. It’s hard to know what to hope for in a situation like this. You hope that the death toll doesn’t even climb even by one more. You hope that the storms that are thinking about forming in the sky above Greensburg just stop thinking and go away. You hope that your family can just hurry up and get back to what’s left of their home and find a picture or an heirloom or even just a pillow. You hope that aid pours in to help replace and rebuild. Those have been my hopes for the last couple of days. But singing that song this morning put in me a very deep hope that the greatness of God will be seen in the aftermath of this storm.

I hope that as people watch my family dig through their basement for whatever they can find, they’ll see a Perfect Peace hovering over that property. I hope that as my family reaches out to help their friends and neighbors – because that’s just the kind of people they are – that those friends and neighbors will see a Great God at work. And I hope as that entire community sifts through the leftovers of nature’s mighty work, they’ll see God’s mighty work in progress woven through it all.

Just a couple of days ago, I was praying Psalm 46:10 over someone. That verse says “Be still, and know that I am God.” There’s a very powerful comma in that sentence. Be still…and know that I am God. Before you can ,know or do anything, you first have to be still. Quit fighting. Quit shaking. Quit flailing. Just be still. And once you’re still, you can know that He is God. He will be exalted among the nations and in the earth, the verse goes on to say. Be still…He is God.

As I stood in church this morning and sang (okay, mouthed) about God’s greatness and thought about Psalm 46:10, I experienced that stillness. I stopped crying for a minute, stopped feeling sick, and just allowed myself to be still. And it was then that I comprehended the words to the song and began to pray that message over my sister, my brother-in-law, my niece, and the whole community around them.

The beginning of Psalm 46 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Well there might not be mountains and a sea in Greensburg, Kansas, but the earth has given way, trouble has come, and there has certainly been quaking and surging. But God is there within the tragedy, and He will be their help, refuge, and strength. And He can teach them how to be still…and know that He is God.

And for those of us hundreds of miles back this way who can only pace and watch the news, He can do the same.

Update

My niece called earlier this afternoon. She had been unable to use her cell phone because of the lack of signal in the area where they were staying.

I continue to be amazed at how strong those three are...when I know what I see on TV - on nearly every channel...and I begin to see more of just how huge and terrible this was...and the three of them are just so strong.

My niece told me that her cat was so good during the whole thing. Not the most personable cat in the world, I was sure she would have bolted at some point. But she was so scared that she stayed still enough for Cassie to hold her throughout the tornado and then for about four hours after...until they were able to be in shelter. The cat lover in me is grateful for that.

My sister, whose birthday was yesterday (some present, huh?) thanked me for the angel I sent her. It was a wooden angel I bought up in Amish country on my mini-vacation. She told me it looked great on the front door...if only she knew where to find the front door. We had given Lori a rough time over the lack of a birthday wish list for this year. She told me this afternoon that if she could just find a piece of paper, she had lots of things she could ask for now.

I don't know a whole lot more than that right now and want to be sensitive to them about what I do write...since this isn't my own life I'm spilling here. Please do continue to pray for them though. As that death toll rises, I just think of the people that didn't make it...people they probably know. And there's just the whole uncertainty of what is ahead...where to go...what to do. Very difficult.

As I find out more information that is okay to share, I'll post again.

Please Pray!

Please pray for my sister, Lori, and her family. Lori is the one mentioned in my birthday post yesterday. My Dad called me at 11:30 last night (never a good sign) and told me that Lori's family lost their home, and now it turns out, their entire town, in that monster tornado that hit Kansas last night.

The first news Dad gave me was just that there was a tornado and the house was gone and so was the church (Lori's husband is a pastor). After watching more hours of the weather channel in one night than I have watched in the rest of my life combined, I see that it wasn't just the house and the church...it was the whole town. If you read/watch the news, I'm sure you've seen Greensburg mentioned. Such a little town and now it's in the national news.

My sister, unlike me, is the pillar of strength...and actually, so is her husband, and so is my niece. They are all okay, for which we are very thankful. But I can't even imagine the enormity of the damage and loss they are facing.

In a time like this, I feel very sick over the sorts of losses that can't be replaced and very helpless because I can't do anything. I can't go, I can't help, I can't fix it. And I'm a fix-it sort of girl. I was up much of the night trying to convince myself NOT to throw up.

I haven't talked to Lori yet...but Mom and Dad have been keeping me posted. Please just pray for them as they pick up whatever they can, which doesn't sound like is much, and make decisions for the future. Please pray for my brother-in-law, since, as I mentioned, he is a minister, and I'm sure will be offering help and comfort on the question-asking, emotional level to so many people. Greensburg, I jokingly call Mayberry, and I don't mean that in a rude way...it's just that it is SUCH a small place that everyone truly is family, and everyone knows everyone. In addition, the fact that it is such a small place makes recovery harder because there's no place to GO. The injured are being transported anywhere from 30 to 50 miles away because those are the next closest places with a hospital.

Please also pray for my niece. I would fall apart at my age to lose everything I own...but she's younger than I am, and I am sure once this truly sets in, it will be so devastating for her. And please pray for my sister, the rock, who will be the glue that holds everyone together, I'm just sure of it.

Thanks so much!

Happy Happy Birthday!

Since I know she sometimes stops by to check out life on Bekah's Bits, I'll wish my sister, Lori, a very happy birthday. I'll leave her age out - so she will continue to visit my blog. Lori and I get to share a birthday month, and though I never really learned to share very well (curse of being raised as an only child), it is kind of fun to share a birthday month with her.

Lori, you should eat lots of ice cream today. If I were there, we could go out for ice cream. That's zactly what I plan to do on my own birthday. :)

In other birthday news, most exciting to all you cat lovers out there.....

Today is also Miss Braeya's birthday. She turns the big zero one today. I actually remember this day last year when I got a message from my friend Kari...telling me there were little kitties being born at her house! That was the day I made the executive decision that Kaegan needed a brother or sister. I put in a request for pick of the litter. And I got her!

Never mind that she was mad at me this morning (Braeya, not Kari) because I would not let her get in the shower. She has this huge love of bathtubs and plays in the main bathroom all the time. Today she finally realized that the little bathroom has a shower...and that the shower is a lot like a tub. I would not let her in and she just sat outside the door and howled. I let her howl. As we head toward the terrible twos, I feel the need to establish who's the boss...

Okay, I'll Admit It

I cried. Twice.

That was a hard goodbye for me - twice - on Idol! As I said before, I don't know when I've liked a top six this much. Usually there's at least one in there that gets on my nerves. Not this year.

Phats, I know you're thrilled that Phil is gone - and I'll be happy for you like you pretended to be happy for me (ha!) when Haley left. I will miss Phil. What a big and genuine heart he has (started to say had, but he's not dead!). I will miss seeing his sweet wife's smiling face in the audience every week, and I'll miss Phil's upbeat attitude. You can tell the rest of the contestants liked him a lot and he loved them too. I hope he does well - gets signed with someone. I thought he went out with incredible class.

As for Chris - I knew it was his time, but I'll still miss him. You can tell everyone thought the world of him too. I'm glad he made it as far as he did and I hope he shows up again sometime because he deserves that chance. Good job, Chris.

Having said that, this is the first time ever that the top four was who I wanted it to be from so early on. Even though my support for Lakisha has waned in the past couple of weeks, I'm glad she made it to the final four. And the other three deserve to be there, hands down. I love it that they all not only know how to sing, but they have such great personalities. It bugs me when Idol finalists aren't the sorts of people that make good role models. These four have what it takes all the way around, I think.

Angela - I have to say that you picked a good one with Bon Jovi. I could probably get used to listening to him. :) That other guy that sang though...whoa. Um...scary.

Shocked Me Again

I said on country night that I was worried how the Idol contestants would do...since I wasn't aware that any of them sang country. Tonight I was just as worried, because the only decent rocker we had...we voted off way before her time. Poor Gina.

As soon as I heard it was Bon Jovi night, I knew my friend Angela was going to be so happy...because she LOVES Bon Jovi. In fact, my introduction to Bon Jovi occurred when she and I were roommates. For a while, the dashing Jon himself was a guest star on Ally McBeal and we had to watch it every week so she could get her fix. A fair request. Had David Phelps been the guest star, she would have been forced to sit and watch with me.

So here are my thoughts on this evening's performance:

* Phil. I was worried for poor Phil. Once he was labeled a country boy at heart, I figured rock music would be his undoing. Add to that his resemblance to Chris Daughtry...I thought it would be over for sure. And Phil surprised me. I actually thought he did a great job. He's no Daughtry - but then who is? (Moment of silence for another contestant sent home way before it was time...) I thought it was a great start to the show...and I thought he did way better than "just decent" with this genre.

* Jordin. Oh boy. Jordin's first really bad week. I didn't know that song, but I thought it sounded (and kind of looked) like bad 80's. Her hair was just everywhere (nice little Gina twist with the red mixed in) and the song wasn't good. BUT. I love Jordin's spirit. I like it that, unlike other former contestants who shall remain nameless, she knew she didn't do a good job, was open about that, and welcomed the criticism. That takes a lot of guts and maturity. I know it's a singing competition, but that has to count for something...the way she handled it.

* Blake. I loved the new look. LOVED the new look. Here's where I have an unfair advantage - or disadvantage - depending on how you look at it. I knew the song he sang, but I didn't KNOW the song he sang. I loved his own twists and turns that he put in it...I loved it that beatboxing was back...I loved the attitude. Angela, who was watching with me, hated it. I totally respect that a song that is as well known as that one apparently is (please bear in mind I grew up on hymns, so all this is new to me) should be left untouched in the opinions of those who love the song. I appreciate that. Anytime someone tries to sing David Phelps and doesn't sing it like David Phelps would sing it...well, I'm done listening. Shoot, when David sings a song and doesn't do it like David should do it, I'm done listening. But from the untrained ear of a novice listener, I loved it. Blake was BACK.

* Lakisha. LAKISHA KISSED SIMON!!!! Lakisha kissed Simon! Did you know that Lakisha kissed Simon? Did she sing? Was there a song? Were there notes? Was there music? Did you see Lakisha kiss Simon? Clearly I am unable to remember anything about her musical talent tonight. Good, bad, I don't know. But that little lucky girl got to kiss Simon! I have no words. I have nothing to say. I think my friend Sarah said it was good. I think I got a text message to that effect. I'll get back to you when I remember something besides Lakisha kissing Simon!

* Chris. Chris, like Phil, did better than I thought he would. I was worried for Mr. Chris. He's kind of in a precarious position right now and I wasn't sure he could sing rock. But he did a pretty good job. I didn't like it as well as some of his other weeks, but he was good. And cute. That Chris is quite a cutie.

* Melinda. YOU GO, Melinda Doolittle! I was so proud of her. I cracked up at her "rock on" attempt when whichever judge asked her what she thought of being a rocker. So very typical of cute, humble Melinda. I was most nervous for her...because I so desperately want to see her in the finale and rock is NOT her thing. But with that first note, I knew she was going to be okay. I agreed with the judges - she WAS very Tina Turner. But that's a good thing. I was very proud of her.

As for a bottom 3 - boy. I don't know. Based on tonight alone, and based on music, it should be Jordin and Chris...and I don't know who else. But I think Jordin has too big a fan base to be in the bottom 3...and I have to remember that this week is combined with last week. I do think Chris is in trouble...and I think Blake might be too. I say that only because he didn't do a super job last week - and depending on the outcome of his gamble tonight...he's either loved or hated. I'm nervous. It'll be a doubly rough night because I really do like everyone in this top six and now I have to lose TWO in one night!

And did anyone see Lakisha kiss Simon?