20 Years

The OTHER big event of our weekend, other than defying all my mother's wishes and throwing her a surprise party, was my twenty year reunion with my high school class.

A couple of observations. First of all, I do not feel like I have been out of high school for twenty years. I'm pretty sure when I was in high school, twenty years seemed so far away and that surely, once I reached that milestone, I would be nothing short of OLD. And if you're reading this right now and you're about 20 years old yourself, you're probably nodding in agreement.

But I feel great! Aside from the pesky white hairs I pay to cover, I don't feel old at all. I actually think I feel better now than I did when I was in high school. And I've decided that part of the reason I don't feel like I've been out of high school for twenty years is because I don't have kids growing up in front of my face to daily remind me that I'm getting old.

So there's that. A second observation, which I hinted at a couple of days ago when I spilled my guts about what I learned in August, is that twenty years offers some good, healthy perspective on high school. I don't know what it was like for you when you were in high school, but for me, it was this constant chase to fit in, which I never really did, except for with a few close-knit friends. {And thank God for them. They were and are such a gift.}I walked around the halls of our little school wondering why I couldn't fit into this group or that, because all those people seemed to have it all together and have it figured out.

I'm quite certain they had nothing together and had nothing figured out. It just looked that way. Twenty years later, a contingent of us came back together, just for fun. After all, reunions are not what they used to be, thanks to the advent of social media. You don't go back to find out what your friends look like, because you just hop online to see that. You probably know how many kids they have, what they do for a living, and more than you ever cared to know about their political views and eating habits.

But we came together, pulling up in mini-vans instead of sports cars, giving rides to kids instead of siblings, and we spilled out into the same parking lot where we spilled out of buses years ago, and we had a tailgate party with the brick walls of our school serving as our backdrop. There was the appropriate awkwardness, as we all tried to figure out where to start with a group we may or may not have interacted with back in the day, all of us trying to remember that none of what mattered then, matters now.

It's relieving, really, to have that freedom. I remember even ten years ago, rushing to buy new clothes and prove myself to these people I shared thirteen years with, wanting to make a point that I had made something of myself. This time? Well, here I am about twenty minutes before leaving home. Still doing my hair. Still wearing my apron from baking more party cookies. And being stalked by a cat.

Perhaps I should have just gone with that hair.

Ryan wasn't in my class. He was in the class behind me. And our valedictorian's husband wasn't even a student at our school. But the two of them hung out in the grilling section while I mingled with my friends.

From the group I hung out with regularly, only one came to the reunion. Amber and I still get together on a semi-consistent basis to shop and drink coffee and hide from storms.

Most people hadn't changed a bit. Kristen and I are nearly birthday twins, and she's still delightful with an unmistakable laugh. We caught up on our respective jobs, and I appreciated her encouragement on the writing and speaking front. And then we did the "WHAT?!!?!?!!?" face to text to our friend Phats, who elected to sit this one out.

And I got to sit for a bit with Laura and her husband, and their son, who was very excited about his trip to Lucas Oil the next day to watch the Colts play.

Selfie with my date while waiting for group photos.

I'd held off on this post, hoping the official group photo...the one with spouses and kids...would be ready to go, but it hasn't popped up yet. So here's the shot of the classmates, which Ryan took from his perch over to the side. {Thought of it all on his own: what a good scrapbooking husband!!}

{Funny side note: ran into Ryan's brother yesterday when I was out getting lunch. He asked how the reunion went and I showed him this picture. He was guessing identities and as he worked his way through the front row, he said, "Who is that girl beside Kristen?" I said, "You mean the one kind of in the back? Amber." He said, "No, the one right beside her." I said, "ME!" He said, "No, the one right there in the white shorts." Ummmm STILL ME!!!!! I cracked up so hard!

The tailgate party was a bit shorter lived than we planned, thanks to a rain storm that popped up.

So Ryan and I headed to the other end of town to get coffee from the Hydration Station, and Amber joined us for a little bit.

The rest of the group met up again later that night at Buffalo Wild Wings, but we had hospital visits to make and parties to prep, so this was it for me. Twenty years marked and done for another five or ten.

I'm glad I went. I'm glad I had the chance to see friends and classmates, and I'm glad I had the chance to realize that twenty years of perspective is a blessing.

What I Learned in August

It was such a busy month, I'm surprised I had time to pause and learn ANYTHING! But I managed to soak in a few life lessons. And they are....

1. I am too old for all-nighters.

We pulled an all-nighter to drive 850 miles to my sister's house to surprise her before my niece's wedding. Even the pure adrenaline of surprising the family wasn't enough to overtake the truth that I am too old to pull all-nighters. It took me a few days to recover!


2. I really can't dance.

I love to slow dance with Ryan at weddings, but that's all we ever do, because that's all the skill this girl has. {And truth be told, I don't even have REAL skill there. I just turn in circles.} But at Cassie's wedding, one of the groomsmen asked Ryan if he could dance with me, and it wasn't a slow song. Ryan said we looked like were in fast forward out there on the dance floor, and I assured him it also FELT like we were in fast forward. Matt, the groomsman, was kind to explain every move, but I had to hear it, comprehend it, and then do it, and by that time, we'd crashed into another couple and were on to something else. Bottom line? I can't dance. {But I still had fun!}


3. I should not read suspense novels on the road.

I took advantage of a 13 hour car ride to read a novel, and it was pure genius to use that time to do it, but I learned that reading a particularly tense section while in heavy traffic creates way more anxiety than I should absorb. LOL!! Every time Ryan braked hard, I screamed. He found it most amusing. I kept trying to put the book down, but I just couldn't!!!

4. I need routine.

We went to the lake for a long weekend, and as soon as we got home, we turned around and drove to Kansas for Cassie's wedding, and as soon as we got home from that, I worked at the Global Leadership Summit at our church for three days. By the end of that, I realized how desperately I wanted time at home to write, read blogs, play on Pinterest, and eat vegetables. Wait. WHAT?!?!? It's true. I crave routine {of work, eating habits, and exercise} and while I knew that, I don't think I really knew that...know what I mean?

5. Borrowing clothes truly rocks.

For the last year, I've been paring down my wardrobe and eliminating excess. My work {even when I'm speaking} doesn't demand excessively dressy clothing, so when I prepared for the big wedding weekend, I found myself wanting something new to wear, but not wanting to spend money on clothing I didn't need to keep. Enter Ryan's co-worker with a generous heart! I borrowed two dresses from her and jewelry from my friend Marie...and the only thing I purchased were my shoes, which I needed anyway. I'm thankful they allowed me to borrow from them so we could save money and room in the closet!

6. 20/20 vision can look blurry to someone with even better vision.

I had my second-ever-in-life eye doctor appointment this month, and tests showed I have 20/15 vision. {If you don't know this, 20/15 is better than great. 20/20 is the goal, and anytime that second number gets lower, it's even better.} In fact, I read 3 of the 6 letters on the 20/10 test line. Anyway. The eye doctor told me I can thank good genetics for that vision, so at this time, I will send my apologies to my sisters, who both had glasses in elementary school. But the doctor also told me that whenever my eyes do slack off to "perfect" 20/20 vision, I will really notice it and be frustrated with the quality of my vision. Who knew!?!?!

7. 80 candles don't fit neatly on a bundt cake.

 Self-explanatory. Happy birthday, Mom! Glad we didn't burn down our house - or you!

8. 20 years changes a whole lot of perspective.

I haven't blogged about it yet, but last weekend was my 20th high school reunion. And while I didn't have a horrible high school experience, high school also wasn't my favorite season of the soul. I didn't fit in {who DOES, really?} and that brought its own brand of hard and hurt. I graduated with the firm belief that I resided near the bottom of the totem pole. Twenty years later, I told Ryan it hardly matters anymore. I looked forward to going and seeing people I hadn't seen for many years, but I didn't stress. If they liked me, fine. If they didn't, fine. I wanted to look my best, but I didn't stress over what I wore or the humidity growing my hair. I'm me. They can like me or not like me. Praise. The. Lord.  

The Shafferland Shuffle

The week in which I FINALLY get to tell you about all the sneaking around we've been doing over here! {Full recap to come. I promise.}

* Last Sunday, after church, I made scrambled eggs and French toast {the clean eating versions} for us. They were delicious! I love breakfast for lunch. And dinner. And breakfast. Ha! And then I started working on our big surprise for the week...a party for my mom. I have been planning and prepping this thing for MONTHS...and I haven't been able to tell you about it! Sunday I started baking cookies, and I also separated an entire bag of M and Ms by color for a game we were playing. That was fun for my OCD! We wrapped up our night by going to visit Grandpa in the hospital. Ran out of chairs so Ryan took the wheelchair.

* Monday I trekked to the hospital to watch Grandpa's first therapy session with his regular therapist. He rocked the walking! Amazing to see the improvement from one week earlier when he was prepping for surgery! Back to cookie baking I went...making a batch of lemon cookies that day. We went for  walk that evening and enjoyed a stunning sunset!

* Tuesday, I spent the entire day working on a book project that I'm excited to tell you more about soon, and surprisingly, I made more cookies! Snickerdoodle!!!! And because we live in a house with an abundance of cookies, we had to start a new {and hard core!} workout program. Hammer and Chisel is no joke.

* You already read about our Wednesday...the day of the tornadoes. I was baking chocolate chip cookies when the storms showed up, and I took shelter at the hospital for the first round. Came home and hid in our bathroom for round two, while Ryan watched the thing go right by. That boy. What am I gonna do with him???

* We had been warned there would be more storms on Thursday, but it was a bright, sunshiny day! {Although I did find Braeya curled up on the still-packed-for-storms suitcase, just in case, I guess.} I made prizes for party games {cookies in a jar}, made oatmeal cookies, baked a cake, and took a break from party prep to hang out with Ryan while he mowed his aunt and uncle's yard. Isn't he the cutest lawn boy ever?

* Friday was my 20th high school reunion, which I'll tell you more about next week! We went just to the first part, which was a tailgate party before the football game at our school. Had a great time seeing old friends. Even though I see a lot of them on Facebook often, it was still fun to see them in person!

* Yesterday was the big day!!! Mom's surprise party!! You guys!!!!!!!!! It went so perfectly. I can't wait to tell you all about it. She was shocked {actually I don't think the English language has a word to capture her reaction} and she loved the whole day. Such fun and so worth all the months of planning!!