I was scrolling through Instagram last night while I drank my evening coffee, and I happened upon a post by Winshape Marriage. It ended up inspiring today's blog. (Fun fact: I have always thought Winshape would be a fabulous place for the two of us to work. No idea if God has that in our someday future or not, but either way, I'm thankful for the many things I learn from their posts!)
Anyway, the question post said this: Take a few moments to reflect on your current season of marriage. What are you most thankful for?
Even though it's May and our anniversary is not until December, I'm already in full-planning-swing, because this year is our tenth anniversary and this crossing into the double digits in years has me all sentimental. I've been pawing through old pictures and memories for weeks now, so in some ways, this question should be an easy one.
But then there's that one word: most. What am I most thankful for? How do I possibly narrow it down to one thing? I am not sure I can.
The list of things I admire, love, and appreciate about Ryan goes on forever, and you read snippets of it on the regular here. (Or at least I hope it comes across that way. It's my hope.)
* I admire his determination to persevere to the very end on every single thing he does. He literally never gives up on anything - to his own detriment, at times. Whether he's fixing a toilet, working for his employer, troubleshooting a technology issue, or praying for something, he simply does not quit. Ever. I've never known anyone else who pushes through as hard as he does.
* I love his great compassion for people and how God has used that in different ways in every job he has ever had - and He's still doing it now in this new job he has just begun. He will sit with you, pray with you, give you anything you need that is in his power to provide, and remember to follow up with you after the moment has passed.
* I appreciate his vast knowledge of everything. He can fix things around our home. (Like all the things.) He can cook. He can wrap gifts WAY better than I can. He can plan a stellar party. He is frugal with finances. And if there's ever an area he doesn't understand, he researches it until he knows it.
* I'm so grateful for the leader he is in our home, for the way He follows the Lord's call on His life (and our lives together), for how unconditionally he has embraced my family as his own, for how tenderly he cared for his mom in her dying days, for his deep wisdom, and so much more.
There is so much I love. And all those things are a "most" in some way for me. But when I think about this season of our marriage, I have to say that the thing I am most thankful for is the story God has written with and for us over this last decade.
You know, there were times in those single years when I didn't think I'd ever get married. To be at a decade at all is a flat-out gift. Ten whole years together is a wild, gracious gift that I will never get over.
And as I've looked through the memories, I am just so grateful for each piece of this story.
* We have traveled places I never dreamed I would see with my own eyes. And we didn't just travel to those places. We soaked up our stays in those places. I can see each of those destinations vividly in my mind. I can taste the food, smell the flowers, see the sunsets. Those trips for us were an investment of time and money, and sometimes both were very tight for us. But the stories we lived in those travels have cemented memories that I will cherish always.
* We have had SO much fun in this decade. There were times when I worried that perhaps it appeared from the outside looking in that we were too self-centered. We weren't doing enough for or with others, maybe. And then we had the last two years, where everything was all about everyone else, and we had to sometimes remind ourselves to make time for us. And as I look back now, I see that even though it may have looked to others like those early years were selfish, they weren't. We were building a foundation in all the fun. In all the date nights. In all the hours at home working on projects and making our house a home. I'm glad we chose to do what we did. It made us who we are. I'm grateful.
* We've grown in our faith. We've studied the Bible together. We've prayed together. We've taken faith-risks together. We've worked within our church homes to hopefully leave an impact on the Body of Christ. In this area of our lives, we are not who we were the day we were married. We are stronger, deeper, and hungrier for Christ. And I love it.
* We have walked some hard, hard, hard roads in this decade. Some you know about. Some were so deeply personal, we kept them sacred to our souls. In ten years, we've said goodbye to jobs that we loved with our whole beings. We still grieve those endings. We've said goodbye to two step-grandpas, a mother, and a step-father. (Those were actually all in the last five years.) We've had surgeries and ER visits and dental drama. We've lost friendships that we didn't anticipate ending, and those were unspeakably hard. We were misunderstood by people we thought knew us better, and that was devastating. We've been wounded by people and situations and while we recognize that God shaped us in the wounding, we also recognize that we will forever daily see our scars and pieces of our hearts will never be the same. And while I would not want to do any of these specific hurts over again, I also do not wish them away, because they have shaped our story and our souls.
We have ten years of memories and story together. Sometimes people don't get to see that come to pass. A couple of days ago, I read a Facebook post by a gentleman who was also in his thirties when he got married. Just after their first anniversary, his wife was killed in a car accident. Knowing what I do about him, I think he's the sort of man who would have deeply welcomed ten years of story. He would have appreciated it and recognized it. But he's missing the zero off that 10 years.
So I'm most grateful for the stories. The memories. The gift of almost ten years of marriage.
Love you, Ryan!
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